Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding and not a binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on how you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And, failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticise and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn't! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don't happen your way but have you tried to 'express' your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships results in frustration, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the 'progress' in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not up to it. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A 'No' from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don't want to do that right now! Feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you're taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C's : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using 'I feel' statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you're taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Have an open mind. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that...) 'Gunnysacking; (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in 'Summarizing self-syndrome' where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other's perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on 'Catastrophizing' i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
Get rid of 'Stereotyping'; (generalizing - all men are like..) and 'Gunnysacking' (cropping up issues from the past having no relevance to current problem).
Don't send double messages- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it is open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner's perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to well-being as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

Are You Happily (n)Ever After?

What you must know about body ache


Affecting your entire body, body ache is usually an indicator of a condition that requires your attention for the pain to stop or a reaction of your body's immune system to an infection. Understanding the symptoms and the cause of the pain is the first step towards getting the right treatment for your problem.
The causes of body ache can be any one of these:
  an increase in your body's lactic acid as a result of overused muscles (that you normally experience when you perform strenuous exercises) leads to body aches that are not severe but temporary in nature.
  temporary body aches can also occur if you suffer from flu caused by the influenza virus and other medical conditions like fever and viral infections, among others.
  a cause of body aches can be the presence of a serious condition such as Lyme disease or pneumonia that brings about major infection affecting your entire body.
  inflammation of body cells or damage to your body's nervous system in the form of chronic ailments like autoimmune diseases and psychiatric problems can also cause pains and aches to develop all over the body.

What can you do to manage it?
There are simple ways that you can employ to relieve your body aches based on the root cause and these are:

  if the cause of your body ache is the flu, the best way to alleviate your condition is to take a hot bath. The hot water works by eliminating the body pains you may be suffering from. Even a gentle massage can soothe the ache affecting your entire body.
  for body aches that are caused due to overused muscle, you need to apply ice packs for 2-3 weeks on the affected area to bring down the inflammation. Even the application of a heating pad can help in relieving body aches brought on by muscle soreness.
  shoulder and neck pains can be easily prevented by performing simple exercises from time to time such as shoulder shrugs or head turns. Also, the practice of using wrist and forearm rests can reduce your chances of getting shoulder and neck aches.
  reducing your stress levels can also help in effectively lowering the instances of body ache. From sleeping on time to meditating for about 20 minutes a day can help in lowering stress.

In case, you do not get relief from any of the suggested ways, you need to consult a qualified doctor who will guide you on the right treatment course. 

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'
Related Tip: Why does PAIN occur? Understand the Mechanism of Pain

Body Ache? Here's What You Must Know about Body Pain

Paranoid personality disorder (ppd) is a mental disorder which makes you feel fearful, nervous and suspicious about people or situations around. This disease usually starts to show its signs from early adulthood and is more common in men than women. People suffering from this disorder are unable to maintain close and long lasting relationships with people as they have the habit of blaming and not trusting other people. The most common symptoms of this disorder are:


	Doubting the loyalty of others
	Fear of revealing their own personal information
	A tendency of holding long lasting grudges
	Inability to handle criticisms
	Abrupt instances of anger and instant reaction
	Showing traits of coldness in a relationship
	Having a feeling of always being right
	Having problems in relaxing
	Being stubborn, argumentative and hostile



	Causes: the exact cause behind pdd is still unknown, but according to some medical researchers it happens due to a combination of biological and psychological conditions. Additionally, bad emotional experiences during childhood and having gone through a physical or mental trauma also leads to the development of the disease.
	Diagnosis:&nbsp;this condition cannot be diagnosed at home and is usually diagnosed by a specialist. The first step taken by a doctor in order to diagnose the disorder is an examination of the medical and psychiatric history of the person. Additionally, if the health records of a person do not indicate anything, then the doctors usually go for some expert opinions by a psychiatrist.
	Treatment:&nbsp;most of the people suffering from this disease are not even aware about it, until someone brings it to their notice. Doctors usually believe that psychotherapy, which is a form of counseling, is the best way to treat pdd.



All About Paranoid Personality Disorder

Pain management is an issue that stares back at mankind, irrespective of the underlying health condition. Whether it is a headache or a back pain, burn or fracture, heart attack or cancer, pain is always a symptom. In some cases like migraines, cancer, etc., the pain is chronic and the patient needs to be constantly on the vigil to know when an attack will ensue. This has also put high pressure on the medical fraternity to identify ways that can provide relief to these people. Various methods have been identified, and one of them is the electrotherapy.

What is done?
A few electrical impulses are directed at the area of the pain using a hand-held device. This is similar to providing electric shocks of mild intensity to the affected area (forehead, low back, neck, etc.). What this does is stimulate the nerve endings, improves circulation and muscle strength and promotes bone growth and tissue repair. The end result of all this is overall improved functioning and pain relief. Depending on the actual condition, the sessions will have to be repeated. In some patients, the electrotherapy is used in conjunction with other therapy so that they can go about their routine exercise and pain relief.
The sessions may also have to be repeated as most often these are used in individuals with chronic pain. They are also helpful in providing relief during the acute attacks.

How does it work?
The most common form of electrotherapy is known as TENS, which stands for transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation. The area to be treated is cleansed with spirit and then small sticky pads are applied through which the electricity is passed. A hand-held device is used, through which electrical impulses are passed to the skin, which stimulates the nerve cells to provide relief from pain. It causes a vibrating and tingling sensation in the treated area. It is believed that it blocks the nerve impulses and therefore provides pain relief. Another theory states that they promote the release of endorphins which are natural painkillers; it is also very effective in case of migraine and sciatica and neck pain where the chronic pain is coupled with acute spurts.

With narcotic painkillers having various side effects, techniques like electrotherapy are gaining popularity. A small catch also is that it does not work for everybody and in most people with back pain, fibromyalgia, and migraines, requires repeat sessions for relief. The cost of each session also needs to be considered against the extent of relief achieved. However, for those whom it works, it is a very good technique for chronic pain control.

Electrotherapy - How It Can Help In Managing Pain?

Chronic health disorders like schizophrenia affect not only the patient, but also the life of their care givers. Though schizophrenia can be treated to improve the patient's quality of life, it cannot be cured. Hence, it falls on the care giver's shoulders to watch out for symptoms of this disease and manage the person and their disorder. What should one do in such a case?

1. Educate yourself: the first step towards looking after a person with schizophrenia is to know the symptoms of the disease. With treatment, these may become better or worse so if you notice any change in the symptoms, bring it to your doctors notice at once.

2. Reduce stress: your goal as a schizophrenic person's caregiver should be to give them a calm environment and boost their confidence. Stress has a negative effect on all people and in schizophrenics this effect is much worse. Hence reduce stress and create an effective support system and structured environment for your loved one.

3. Do not ask the patient to change'his reality: when a person is suffering from schizophrenia, you should not force them to change their behaviour and reality, in order to adjust in the society at large. You should rather support the patient to accept his reality, to be at peace, since there is a very strong genetic component involved in its aetiology. Also, it is important that, both the patient and the family in particular should opt for regular counselling sessions.

4. Regular exercise: schizophrenics need not be cooped up in the house all day. Encourage the patient to go outside and exercise regularly. Exercise reduces stress and produces endorphins that make a person feel energized and happy. This should be complemented by a healthy diet. Minimize the amount of carbs and sugar intake and increase the amounts of omega 3 fatty acids in the patient's diet.

5. Join a support group: joining a support group is a very good idea for both the patient and the caregiver. For the patient, this provides a form of social interaction and for the caregiver is a platform to meet people with similar first hand experiences

6. Encourage treatment: convincing a schizophrenic person to seek treatment can be quite challenging. Suggest treating symptoms of the disorder such as insomnia and lack of energy rather than the disease itself to make the patient feel more comfortable. Give the patient options to choose from to make them feel more in control of the situation.

7. Monitor medication: once the treatment has started, ensure that the patient sticks to the prescription. Maintain a regular schedule by using weekly pill boxes and alarms. Also keep an eye on the possible side effects of these medicines. Ensure that your doctor has a complete list of medicines that the patient takes so that there is no chance of medicines interacting negatively with each other.

8. Prepare for crisis situations: it is always a good idea to have an emergency plan in place. Keep emergency contact details of all the doctors and therapists at hand along with the address and phone number of the closest hospital. Share your situation with friends and family so that in case of an emergency, they can be relied upon to take care of your children and other dependants.

Living with Schizophrenia

Alzheimer's disease is a neurodegenerative disorder that causes a degradation and eventually death of the brain cells. People with Alzheimer's disease suffer from a memory loss. There is also a progressive decline in the cognitive capacity of the brain.Today, Alzheimer's disease and dementia have become almost synonymous with old age. It is a heartbreaking experience to see aged people with Alzheimer's disease. They have little or no memory of the present time, of their loved people or the things around them. 

The Alzheimer's disease starts off as a mild condition and then gradually progresses through stages. In this article, we will discuss the different stages associated with Alzheimer's disease.

The first stage: This stage shows no significant changes in the affected person. Thus, without any diagnostic tests (such as a PET scan), it will be difficult to detect the condition in the initial stage.
The second stage: This stage brings about some changes in the person. The person might misplace things or may even forget words (something that is often brushed aside as a small problem). However, this seldom interferes with their daily activities. Like the first stage, this stage, in most cases, goes unnoticed.
The third stage: This is the stage that brings about visible changes in the person concerned such as
The person experiences difficulties in trying to organize things.
They forget things they have read, or heard just a few seconds back.
In some cases, the person may not be able to recollect a person's name they have just met.
Some people may end up repeating the same question over and over again.
The fourth stage: This stage marks a further decline in the mental health. The person gets forgetful about himself or herself. They also start mixing up with the dates and months or makes major goof up while cooking (misses out on ingredients).
The fifth stage: The mental deterioration reaches a step further. The person slowly starts forgetting about the present, such as their address, the time of the day, their profession and even phone numbers.
The sixth stage: The problem is getting worse. Hallucination is slowly setting in. The person is starting to forget people and their faces, mixing one identity with another.
The seventh stage: The final and unfortunately, the worst stage. The person stops talking to people, eating, or even walking. They stay confined to their world, oblivious of their immediate surrounding.
Dealing with an Alzheimer patient

In addition to the treatment and medication, a person with Alzheimer's disease needs the love, care, and support of their close and dear ones. Isolating them will only worsen the situation.
It may not be easy to deal with an Alzheimer's patient as the disease progresses, but do not be rude to them. Give them the confidence.
Always keep a paper containing their name, address and emergency contact number in their wallet.
People after the age of 50 should undergo regular health check ups.

Alzheimer's - How The Disease Progresses?

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