Can true love happen more than once?

The world revolves around love. Our movies, books, stories, ambitions, desires, anything and everything, is guided by the magical power of love. Shahrukh khan famously said in his movie kuch kuch hota hai, that 'love can only happen once'. Is that true or, can true love happen more than once?

The question occurs more often than not when someone is going through a breakup, or when people wait and stay single, guided by the belief that there is only one perfect person for everyone, who would give them a happily ever after.

Let's see what truth really is.

There is no set algorithm or formula to say how many partners one can actually sustain in a lifetime. That depends on the idea of love individually for different people. Some people after a failed relationship give up the fight, and give up on the idea of love too, thinking that they had gotten once chance, and they blew it. While on the other hand, some people move on from one relationship to another, investing equally in every relationship, and never losing hope on finding their happiness.

The notion of just one love per lifetime may have been imbibed in us by the society that promotes monogamy. Insisting that it is morally correct for a couple to always stand by each other, no matter how incompatible they may be.

But the more pressing reason for the above notion is fear. The fear of falling in love again, and losing at it again, stops many people from even considering that as an option. There is a comfort in thinking that you tried your hand at love, but failed, and thus, never trying again will never let you suffer from the inexplicable pain that the failed love left you with.

However, we as humans, having the ability to connect with our family and friends, are designed to love more than one person in our lives. So it is clear that we are capable of falling in love again. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and truly so.

There are many people out there who you will be able to connect with, feel immensely happy around, and feel at home with. The thought that there is only one perfect person for everyone is not just restrictive, but also unhealthy. If you feel too damaged to love again or too scared to love even for the first time, try to look at the feeling logically than emotionally. Try to assess your compatibility with the person; see if your interests match, see what differentiates you both that'll help you both grow; see if you are able to picture a future with them, and so on.

Sometimes our past baggage or our fears clog our judgment. We all deserve second chances in life, and hence, we deserve a second, or even a third or fourth chance at love. So, do not stop at one failed relationship. Go out and seek love again in a person who is able to provide you with a more fulfilling and emotionally satisfying relationship.

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Is Shahrukh correct when he says 'Love can happen only once'?

No matter which kind of relationship couple are in, they always have some issues and look to be happier, and more connected, though the issues can be different for different couples -  money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc. Despite this, any relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it. Yet, following certain guidelines may help proceed happily in a relationship.

1.Love yourself

You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortfalls.

2.Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise. Just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things.

3.Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without regard for others. It is what makes a compromise in a relationship possible. If you realize that something you've done has hurt another person and you can empathize with his/her pain or unhappiness, you will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected).  And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection.

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way. Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love. Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships -- which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability -- damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

8 Guidelines for a Happy Relationship

In most Indian homes, a family is not complete with just one child. Until about a couple of decades ago, a family with a single child was very rare. The most common response would be 'with whom the child will play'. Between the siblings, there is always so much love. Starting from getting attention from the parent to education at all stages of life, this is one relationship which just grows and grows. While it definitely is a feel-good factor, scientifically too, it has been proven to have multiple benefits.

Read on to know some benefits of having siblings and how it can help you stay healthy and positive.

A constant companion: With a sibling around, there is no need to look for a play or study companion. There is always one available right in the same home. This provides for a happy, healthy equation with a lot of give and take that just extends through life.
Continuous learning environment: With a sibling around, the learning never stops. There is a constant teacher/mentor-student relationship with the elder one having an upper hand and trying to teach the younger one all sorts of things from using a chalk to spoon to math to magic.
Sharing begins at home: Whether it is your toys or colours, stationary or chocolates, siblings share a lot of stuff and so from a very young age, there is a behaviour that encourages sharing of all sorts of things. Studies have shown that children with siblings show a lot more sympathy and are more open to sharing things as compared to single children.
Builds selflessness: The next time you see two siblings, notice how the elder one is always so protective of the younger one. The elder one is willing to give up their chocolate just so the younger one smiles. Similarly, the younger one also would give up a toy so that the elder one is happy. This selflessness is ingrained in children with siblings, which extends into their other relationships too later in life.
Tougher individuals: Problem solving is something which gets built in early in life when children have siblings. This comes in handy later in life too, which makes them tougher individuals. They are also better skilled at negotiating, good at setting and achieving goals, managing relationships (both professional and personal), and are so more successful.
The relationship with a sibling just continues through life. The above are some pointers as to how having a sibling makes for a happy, healthier, and positive life. Anyone with a sibling would definitely vouch for these!!

How Having Siblings Can Keep You Positive and Healthy?

Technology may be a boon for your love life as due to technology a number of means of communication have evolved, which keep you connected with your loved one in the form of devices, software and applications. However, in spite of its benefits, they are plenty of things that come with technology, which can completely ruin your love life. Here are some signs that technology may be creating trouble in your paradise:

You may waste your time checking photos of ex-girlfriends and love interests. You may check out a picture of an ex on her Facebook profile and wonder about a new guy present in the picture. The same may happen with a present lover. These activities create unnecessary complications in your mind which may harm your relationship with your partner.
You end up spending more time with your smartphone than with your partner. This may affect your relationship, as you are too engrossed with checking social media websites and posting updates instead of paying attention to your partner, who is right by your side.
Sexting is a common trend in today's world where the exchanging of nude photos between a couple takes place via messengers and chatting platforms. This can be worrisome as you may always be concerned about your pictures getting leaked or exposed.
You may become technologically clingy. Your partner may have texted you, and you have not been able to reply in spite of reading the text. Modern technology enables a person to see when you have read their message and when there is no response, the speculations creep in. These situation lead to host of other problems.
It is easy to lie about something online or via texting than saying it face to face. Technology allows you to lie and make untrue statements, which are not true in real life. This creates dishonesty within a relationship.
With technology, you have too many options at hand and this makes situations difficult. In case you want to go for a dinner with your partner, you might spend hours searching for a good restaurant by going through the ratings online.
You may spend a lot of time deciphering text messages. Modern day texting is full of abbreviations, short forms and emoticons. Some of these may make you over think stuff, and you may try to decipher meanings from normal texts, which actually have no twisted meaning.
With so many forms of social media, you may be confused about what to use at which stage or phase. You may think whether you should text first, should you add an interest on Facebook and should you comment on a picture. All this creates confusion and honestly there is no real conversation between you and your partner.
There is no doubt that modern technology has taken the level of communication to a new level. Technology plays significant role in keeping in touch with your friends and loved ones sitting thousands of miles away by bringing them close. But it is high time that you realize that technology is something that has driving you away from your loved one. Make an attempt to have some personal conversations without your phones, laptops and tablets. Watch a movie, go on long drives or late night walks and reignite the love and passion in your relationships.

Technology - Is It a Boon or Bane For Your Love Life?

Procrastination is a way of sabotaging oneself by putting off activities and delaying success. This is an emotional and mental obstacle that many people face in varying degrees. So here is everything you need to know about procrastination.

It becomes a lifestyle: As per medical research, about 20% of the people who procrastinate, have been doing it on a chronic basis and can now safely say that this is a lifestyle and not just a habit that one has fallen prey to.
It is cultivated: Contrary to popular belief, procrastination is not something that anyone is born with. It is cultivated with constant inaction over a period of years, which also includes the act of making excuses to put off a task.
Excessive alcohol consumption: In many cases, procrastinators will end up enjoying higher consumption of alcohol than their contemporaries. This may be done to alleviate boredom before the excessive consumption becomes a habit, which further dulls the senses.
Hiding from the truth: It has been seen that procrastinators often lie to themselves or hide the truth about their problem by making mindless excuses, which do not actually exist. They are chronic liars who come to believe their lies, which can give rise to even more severe behavioural issues.
Distractions: Most people who procrastinate will look for distractions that will keep them from doing their work properly. This may include watching television or eating, or even doing mindless chores that are not important.
Focus: Many of these procrastinators have problems when it comes to focusing and finding solutions for various tasks. They cannot prioritise and put their mind to a certain task, which also prevents them from understanding the requirements for completing that task.
Avoiders: These types of procrastinators usually avoid doing the tasks that will lead them to success. They do not make the effort to carry out the necessary tasks in a proper manner.
Decisional procrastinators: These kind of procrastinators simply cannot find the motivation to take a decision that will change the direction of their lives by putting one step in front of the other on a daily basis.
Cost of procrastination: There is a huge cost that is borne by these kinds of people in the long run. While missing deadlines, losing jobs and not graduating from college are just some of the consequences, many of them also come down with a plethora of health conditions including gastrointestinal diseases.
Therapy for procrastination: The best way to transform a procrastinator is with the help of cognitive behavioural therapy, which can help in reprogramming the brain with fruitful, guided discussions and internal dialogues. This kind of therapy works well in the long run.

10 Things You Must Know About Procrastination

"Focussing only on sexual intimacy is unhelpful unless you have an emotional compatibility with your partner. This is because, good relationship and good sexual intimacy are very closely linked to each other. 
Here are three top tips to help improve couple compatibility. 

*Make time and Talk to Each Other: Share your day with your partner. Talk about the good things that happened, the challenges you faced and anything that strengthens the mental bond.

*Stop Criticizing: this is Something that couples desperately need to work upon. You don't have to be harsh while telling your complaints given the fact you'd have to wake up right next to your partner every day. Try converting your complaints into requests for change in them. 

*Help Each Other in Your work:
Just extend your helping hand to help your partner in the things that they do. Sometimes, saying ""I am here for you"" is good enough for the person."

Being Good in Bed takes much more than Knowing good Kamasutra Skills

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