Role of relationship problems in depression and suicides - 
Almost everyday we read about people ending their lives by committing suicides from celebrities to common man to even children . Although this is not permitted in any religion and there is a legal debate on whether it should be legalized, the fact remains that people are driven towards this unfortunate step. Let's take a look at the common reasons for suicides to become so very common.

1) Lack of intimacy- We see that although we are surrounded by people most of people are having friends only on Facebook. Even among the people we interact everyday nobody wants to open up with anyone or allow you to open up with them.The fact that you are surrounded by people who don't share themselves with you intimately starts pulling your mind downwards. Work colleagues are bothered only about work, family is only bothered about the income you are generating, partners are obsessed with how much you can spend on them, friends are occupied with what benefits you can share with them. Therefore all in all, despite having all relationships, people feel left out and alone like as if their inner self has been left unwanted and uncared of. The monotony of mechanical life hastens the culmination of this abuse into drastic steps like suicide.

2) High demands- People are often left to fend with high demands from them from their social circle. Many people cannot attempt this and some who attempt are not able to make it. This leaves them with a feeling of failure which is often frowned and looked down upon whether it is a student or a professional. It is no surprise that today even below 10 years olds are successfully attempting suicides.

3) Inappropriate planning- Planning is a key necessity for successful results whether it is financial or relationships. but unfortunately many people are unable to obtain the correct know how which will enable to implement their plans successfully.

4) Inability to cope- Many people plan to do things but are unable to cope with the harsh realities that come with the plans. To some it may be unseen to some unbearable. So although they set out on doing something the journey is not what they had expected.

5) Lack of results- Sometimes although everything is planned well, executed well and completed well it does not fetch us the rewards that may seem appropriate to the level of efforts. This is something that is very difficult to deal for most people and is a result of many unfortunate casualties.

6) Lack of desire-It is very important to have something to look forward to in life. But unfortunately in an age where drinking water and using the toilet cost s money many people cannot think of having something to look forward to and hence this unfortunate step.

Therefore, you have to be very prudent in what we are doing today because we can never predict which way our lives may go and even importantly which way you may yourself go based purely on circumstances beyond our control dependent on the choices we make today or others make for us. Although suicide is not a sensible solution to any problem it does remain a common reality. If you are feeling suicidal please remember to seek help.

Please feel free to consult me privately for further assistance.

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Health Tip - Role of Relationship Problems in Depression and Suicides

Being away or oblivious to social media is synonymous to not following the herd. Social media probably is no more the latest fad; it is the given code to take a deeper look into the present age. The rewarding fact about social networking sites is their ability to transport us to people and places millions of miles away from us. This epoch with its dictates of overproduction and maximum utilization of labor, snatches away the boon of communication.

Social media gifts us with easy communication and wider access:

 Social media creates peer pressure: coming in continuous contact with occurrences in other people's life can lead to mental setback. You may feel low on comparing your achievements with that of others. Consciously or unconsciously you are struggling throughout to be at par with them who are seemingly jubilant. Virtual peer pressure is realized by many. 
 It can bring us at close quarters with penitence: persistent grief or regret can take a toll on your mental health. It can make you depressive. Depression is again not a healthy thing for personal growth and development. It usually results in lack of motivation.
 You tend to panic more through continued use of social media: if you have not been in touch with social media for a couple of days you are instilled with the fear of losing out on incidents. You panic regarding what has been happening all over the world that in reality will in most cases bear no effect on you.
 It accustoms you to the glamorous appeal of drugs- social media tends to showcase the ills of society as glamorous contributing factors of life. It celebrates the vices of drugs and other addictive agents as virtues. Young adults are therefore easily incited to give in to addiction.

Positive effects of social media on your mental health:
1. Social media will let you take a break from hovering tasks and responsibilities. 
2. Helps you connect with long lost friends. Social networking sites will bring you close to new and old friends alike. 
3. Real society is overly judgemental. It prohibits you from coming across as your true self. Virtual media allows you to come out of your cocoon and helps you feel comfortable about yourself.


How Is Social Media Affecting Your Mental Health?

Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

4 Must-Do Ways Of Coping With A Break Up

Breakups can be devastating. The non-availability of a person you loved dearly can give rise to emotions of anger, helplessness, emptiness, frustration and sometimes even guilt. Coping with a break up is extremely difficult for most people. So what is the best way of dealing with it? Read on...

1. Live For Yourself 

Whether it s your sleeping habit, or tastes in food or even music preferences,  a relationship calls for a compromise in either or all of these. Since you re free now, you can indulge in everything that you had to give up on. Even if it s something as simple as peanuts, which gave him or her allergies, you should indulge in it by the handful. Go out; don t keep yourself cooped up at home. Meet new people, form new bonds with the people you like and do whatever makes you happy. 

2. Vent Out

Call your friends or family and share the pent up feelings with them. Friends and family are sympathetic, and can act as a shoulder to cry on. However, make sure you are smart about your venting. It s pretty easy to fall into the habit of crying and drinking, laying in your bed, wallowing in your misery and ignoring all your responsibilities. Venting helps, but not at the cost of the rest of your life. Make sure you aren t succumbing to complete self-pity as this will only add to your depression. 

3. Exercise

Exercising serves two purposes. One, it helps you get back in shape so that you feel confident and healthy. Two, exercise has been proven to reduce stress, by bringing about the release of the feel-good hormones, endorphins, in your body. Regular workouts will increase adrenaline and dopamine in your system. Being mood-enhancers, these chemicals work to make you happy and keep you stress-free. 

4. Cut-off Contact 

Many people say that they want to remain friends after breaking up, but that is mostly not a good idea. So what do you do? Try cutting off complete contact for a while, at least till you heal. Whether it s Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Gmail, or Pinterest, you need to deny yourself avenues to check out either your ex-partner or your past life with them. Avoid talking on calls and texts too. Get rid of their stuff in your house. If you have a song that reminds you of the time spent with your ex-partner, don t listen to it in the immediate aftermath of the breakup. If you can t do this yourself, ask a friend to help keep you on track or even do it for you. 



4 Must-Do Ways Of Coping With A Break Up

Siblings are most definitely, the best thing to have ever happened to anyone. We fight, we laugh, we play and we defend. No matter, whether you are the best buddies or you cannot even stand being in the same room, you two (or three or four!) share an inseparable bond, which will last for a lifetime. Siblings are surely in for the long haul, while friends and colleagues may just come and go. But do our sibs really influence us?

The weight issues!
Obesity has been known to run in generations and families, but there have been studies which show that siblings have an influence, especially when we talk of the waistline. Researches&#x2019; conducted from a 2014 based study at Duke University from the Sanford School of Public Policy show that if the older sibling is obese, the chances of the younger one, being the same increase fivefold. This is regardless of the fact that the parents are obese or not.

Character talk
Though there is little evidence supporting the theory of birth order affecting personality, there sure is enough to support that siblings do shape the same for each other. Siblings do develop separate identities for themselves and in the same run, affect and shape the personality and characteristics as well as the behavior of the other, to a major extent. For instance, a person would make more of an effort to become an outgoing person, if his/ her sibling is shy and quiet. In case of families with three kids, this is more likely to happen among siblings of the same gender instead of the opposite genders.

The first teachers!
Navigating social situations are what we first learn from our siblings. A daily practice in understanding foreign minds and getting an insight of the outer world is what we first get from our siblings. Strong bonds between two kids at home have shown better and more successful connections with peers at school.

Saving marriages is their task!
Being a part of a bigger family reduces the chance of divorce due to more chances of being accustomed to adjustment. Ohio State University concluded in a 2013 study that every sibling reduces divorce risk by 2%.

Depression Deal
Squabbling of siblings is as natural as the rain. Yet, the reasons for the fight can have major health implications. Quarrelling about issues like fairness and equality can lead to experiencing higher levels of depression. The same has been concluded by a 2012 study of the University of Missouri. Fighting over personal space can lead to development of low self-esteem and anxiety.

But they are happiness boosters too
You know that already! Having siblings is in itself a joyful experience.

6 Ways Your Siblings Make You Who You Are

Saif and Kareena show you how to bridge the age gap perfectly in relationships

There?s a lot to learn from the love story of the 10th nawab of Pataudi, Saif Ali Khan, and the Bollywood actress, Kareena Kapoor. Despite the 13 year age gap between them, the two have a very strong and mature relationship. So what keeps the two sticking together through thick and thin? here?s how saif and Kareena have bridged the age gap to emerge as a powerful couple.

1. They know that age is just a number

For saif and kareena the 13-year difference is not an issue. They know that what matters, in the end, is not how old you are but the kind of personality you have. Both saif and kareena have a mature personality, and they gel perfectly well with each other. This is the reason why they are able to connect and maintain a strong and healthy relationship.

2. They care about each other?s family

Kareena has a very strong relationship with Sharmila Tagore, Saif?s mother. Not only that, Kareena has also made sure she is on good terms with saif?s children from his previous marriage as well. Accepting each other?s family and past is a very important step in making a relationship work. Not only that, their families act as a support group for them, which helps them going on despite the difference of years between them.

3. They share common interests

Another thing that makes their relationship work is the fact that they share several common interests, which help them in coming closer and making their bond stronger. Saif and Kareena often go on trips together, attend cricket matches together and make it a point to go out for regular romantic dinner dates.

4. They respect each others? views 

Nothing could be more important in a relationship than respecting each other?s decisions. The pataudi family tradition had women changing to Islam after marriage, with even Sharmila Tagore converting after her marriage. However, Kareena did not want to, and Saif fully supported her decision. Even their marriage ceremony was a mishmash of their differing religions. So, if you want your relationship to work, be very open and accepting of each other?s differences and views.


If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.


Saif and Kareena Show How to Bridge the Age Gap Perfectly in Relationships

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