How to know if you're in love?

A Valentine's Day brings with it a basket full of love that lasts a week and it's time to find and express love. Falling in love is one of the best, most rewarding feelings in the world! some of us have had the opportunity of falling in love while others have misunderstood infatuation for love. Everyone has their own definitions of what love is and what they want it to be. However, here are a few things that will make sure you know you're in love with someone and you don't just have a huge crush on him/her.

1. He/she is the best part of your day

If you look forward to seeing your special person because he/she is the best part of your day; it is probably love! He/she is the first person you want to share your news with whether it is good or bad.

2. You love their imperfections

You accept that person for who he/she truly is. The smallest of imperfections don't upset you. In fact, these imperfections make you love them even more. You look at their imperfections as the tiny things that make them unique.

3. You become a better person

He/she truly brings out the best in you. They help you deal with your negative qualities and highlight your positives. They make you a better human being just by being there with you through it all.

4. He/she is your best friend

The bond you two share is not just a normal girlfriend-boyfriend bond. Over time you'll become best friends, partners in crime. Parties seem boring without him/her by your side, coming home becomes a lot more fun because you get to come home to him/her. You can share anything, even your deepest, darkest, most embarrassing secrets with him/her.

5. You think long term

You find it hard to imagine your future without him/her in it and you'll do anything to make sure things between the two of you work. You understand the importance of having him/her in your life and you're completely willing to give up on temporary satisfactions that might ruin your future with your special person.

There are tons of other ways for you to know you're really in love with someone. When people say, "it is the little things that count", it is these little things that they mean.






How to Know If You're in LOVE?: V-Day Special

Siblings are most definitely, the best thing to have ever happened to anyone. We fight, we laugh, we play and we defend. No matter, whether you are the best buddies or you cannot even stand being in the same room, you two (or three or four!) share an inseparable bond, which will last for a lifetime. Siblings are surely in for the long haul, while friends and colleagues may just come and go. But do our sibs really influence us?

The weight issues!
Obesity has been known to run in generations and families, but there have been studies which show that siblings have an influence, especially when we talk of the waistline. Researches&#x2019; conducted from a 2014 based study at Duke University from the Sanford School of Public Policy show that if the older sibling is obese, the chances of the younger one, being the same increase fivefold. This is regardless of the fact that the parents are obese or not.

Character talk
Though there is little evidence supporting the theory of birth order affecting personality, there sure is enough to support that siblings do shape the same for each other. Siblings do develop separate identities for themselves and in the same run, affect and shape the personality and characteristics as well as the behavior of the other, to a major extent. For instance, a person would make more of an effort to become an outgoing person, if his/ her sibling is shy and quiet. In case of families with three kids, this is more likely to happen among siblings of the same gender instead of the opposite genders.

The first teachers!
Navigating social situations are what we first learn from our siblings. A daily practice in understanding foreign minds and getting an insight of the outer world is what we first get from our siblings. Strong bonds between two kids at home have shown better and more successful connections with peers at school.

Saving marriages is their task!
Being a part of a bigger family reduces the chance of divorce due to more chances of being accustomed to adjustment. Ohio State University concluded in a 2013 study that every sibling reduces divorce risk by 2%.

Depression Deal
Squabbling of siblings is as natural as the rain. Yet, the reasons for the fight can have major health implications. Quarrelling about issues like fairness and equality can lead to experiencing higher levels of depression. The same has been concluded by a 2012 study of the University of Missouri. Fighting over personal space can lead to development of low self-esteem and anxiety.

But they are happiness boosters too
You know that already! Having siblings is in itself a joyful experience.

6 Ways Your Siblings Make You Who You Are

HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

When you get a compliment'smart thinking or you are intelligent or that was intelligent of you, you definitely feel good. These comments fill us with confidence, admiration and pride and we want it to happen to us again and again. But owing to a busy schedule and long working hours it might not be possible. Having said this, it does not mean that a person cannot stay intelligent throughout. This can be easily achieved by regular meditation. Regular meditation and yoga helps the mind to be more reflective and efficient.

Here are reasons how yoga and meditation lead to an intellectual learning and growth:

 Utilizes the brain: almost everyone uses one half of their brain more and this leads to imbalance. Meditation is believed to sync the left and the right hemispheres, thereby allowing neural connection and great processing power. When logical left and creative right brains start working in harmony, then solving problems becomes easy; and it also increases creativity, deep thinking comes to be known of and concentration and focus magnifies. Highly successful people usually display whole brain synchronization.
 Functional capabilities of brain enhance due to meditation: research backs it that meditation increases the gray matter thickness of the brain regions, thus making the brain smarter, bigger and faster. This is very similar to doing physical exercise which makes the muscles denser and stronger. The increase in functional capabilities of brain is based on the concept of neuroplasticity, which states that our intelligence is not based on genetics and there are some things which can be done to improve the way our brain works. Meditation is a good brain enhancer with an ability to increase intelligence.
 Beneficial brainwave patterns can be seen: meditation can help to guide the brainwaves into beneficial frequencies. The frequencies: alpha, theta and delta when guided can show case a myriad of benefits including idea generation, creativity, cognitive functioning, and intellectual capacity. Meditation helps to transform these beneficial states of mind and help boost the iq.
 Develops intuition and insights: these are generally obtained through listening and developing to the inner voice. Thus meditation forms to be the basic key to tap these latent abilities. The intelligence can be mapped through tests and quizzes and is valuable at each level to stimulate insights and creativity. As per some people, inner intelligence, is considered to be the most important and best success in the world. Successful people including steve jobs have stated that their super revolutionary ideas and business acumen came through their intuition.
 Meditation helps in improving both short and long term memory: the key memory areas hippocampus and frontal lobe show increase in activity during meditation. By stimulating these areas, the short and long term memories are improved.

Can Yoga Improve Your IQ?

Kissing has several benefits than it may seem, sure, it feels great, but apart from that, it also lowers your blood pressure. It further releases epinephrine hormone into your blood which allows your heart to pump blood faster and hence reduces the amount of the bad cholesterol. Here are a few reasons as to why you must grab the person you love and kiss him or her as soon as possible:

It helps reduce your blood pressure: Kissing dilates the blood vessels and this can in turn help reduce the levels of your blood pressure.
Relieves headache and cramps: The dilatation effect on the blood vessels seems to have a pronounced effect in relieving pain. This includes headaches and cramps from menstrual pain.
Fights cavities: The saliva production in your mouth increases when you kiss. The excess saliva production helps to wash away the germs and plaque that accumulate in your mouth over a period of time. On the contrary, the cavity forming germs can also be transmitted from the mouth of one person to the other.
Helps by releasing your happy hormones: Kissing helps release a cocktail of hormones such as dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin that are responsible for giving you a happy high. It is not just the sense of happiness you get from it, but also the hormones released can help strengthen the bond with your partner. Your lips have a dense connection of nerve endings which elevate the sense of pleasure in a person.
Burn calories: Does it substitute for a 2 mile jog? No. But studies have shown that a good session of intense kissing can help burn up to about 8 to 16 calories.
Boosts your self-esteem: Research has shown that people who leave home with a good bye kiss are more likely to work better and be in a good mood for the entire day. It could be because of the sense of feeling loved and cared for that makes one happy. A kiss can boost your self-esteem and even make you more productive at work.
Tones the muscles of your face: Kissing involves the muscles present in your face and jaw line. A vigorous smooch can allow those muscles to act up and shape them in the process.
Check out the compatibility with your partner: Kissing can be an important factor to measure the initial attraction of a person. This could be so important that it is often noticed that if the first kiss is not up to the mark, it can be a great turn off.

Kiss Day Special - 8 Reasons Why You Must Kiss!

Marriages very well might be bonds made in heaven, but for all practical reasons, they remain enacted on earth. When two different people meet, it s the union of two different mind-cultures too. It contains two diverse goals, two different habits of living, dissimilar aspirations & overall different priorities, that needs to be fused to restart a new common journey.

"To know themselves in order to discover the other  is the key here. Most relationships will get strained at some time, resulting in a failure to function optimally and produce self-reinforcing, maladaptive patterns. These patterns may be called "negative interaction cycles".

There are many possible reasons for this, including insecure attachment, ego, arrogance, jealousy, anger, greed, poor communication/understanding or problem-solving, ill health, third parties and so on. Changes in situations like financial state, physical health, and the influence of other family members can have a profound influence on the conduct, responses, and actions of the individuals in a relationship. Marriages require the maximum efforts from both the individuals.

Given the growing concept of individualism and personal independence, people fail to put in or sometimes understand the requirement of working towards their marriage, leaving them searching for an escape route as soon as the going gets tough. Marital issues may lead to major individual psychological problems with each partner trying to hurt the other emotionally as the relationship gets bitter.

Consequently, divorce rates in this country have shown a considerable increase in the past decade. This article should help you figure out some of the ways to save and improve the bond that is marriage while keeping the importance of individualism and personal space in mind-

Teamwork: It is essential for both the individuals to work towards their marriage and show equal commitment. With only one person trying to build a better relationship while the other one shows minimal effort and goes astray reduces the sense of belongingness; eventually leading to estrangement.

Take Responsibility: Apologize when it s your mistake and take responsibility for your actions, instead of going around in a continuous loop of the blame game.

Keep the Spark Alive: Take out time for each other whenever possible. A simple date night once in a while or a weekend getaway with undivided attention to the partner helps to keep the romance alive in long term relationships which more often than not fades away with time, without effort from the partners.

Appreciate: Appreciating the partner s efforts are probably the most important factor in any marriage. It avoids the individual feeling as though he/she has been taken for granted; which is the root cause of most marital problems.

Therapy: Marital therapy is usually beneficial when people are unable to deal with their differences within the marriage. Through marital counselling, you can make thoughtful decisions about rebuilding and strengthening your relationship or going your separate ways. The therapist can help with many specific issues, including communication problems, sexual difficulties, conflicts about child rearing, intrusion from extended family, substance abuse, anger, and infidelity.

Marriage counselling might also be helpful in cases of domestic abuse. In a collectivist society like ours, family therapy is usually used because the families of both partners play a major role in their lives. Family therapy is a type of psychological counselling (psychotherapy) that can help family members improve communication and resolve conflicts.

Marriage - How To Strengthen It?

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