4 Must-Do Ways Of Coping With A Break Up

Breakups can be devastating. The non-availability of a person you loved dearly can give rise to emotions of anger, helplessness, emptiness, frustration and sometimes even guilt. Coping with a break up is extremely difficult for most people. So what is the best way of dealing with it? Read on...

1. Live For Yourself 

Whether it s your sleeping habit, or tastes in food or even music preferences,  a relationship calls for a compromise in either or all of these. Since you re free now, you can indulge in everything that you had to give up on. Even if it s something as simple as peanuts, which gave him or her allergies, you should indulge in it by the handful. Go out; don t keep yourself cooped up at home. Meet new people, form new bonds with the people you like and do whatever makes you happy. 

2. Vent Out

Call your friends or family and share the pent up feelings with them. Friends and family are sympathetic, and can act as a shoulder to cry on. However, make sure you are smart about your venting. It s pretty easy to fall into the habit of crying and drinking, laying in your bed, wallowing in your misery and ignoring all your responsibilities. Venting helps, but not at the cost of the rest of your life. Make sure you aren t succumbing to complete self-pity as this will only add to your depression. 

3. Exercise

Exercising serves two purposes. One, it helps you get back in shape so that you feel confident and healthy. Two, exercise has been proven to reduce stress, by bringing about the release of the feel-good hormones, endorphins, in your body. Regular workouts will increase adrenaline and dopamine in your system. Being mood-enhancers, these chemicals work to make you happy and keep you stress-free. 

4. Cut-off Contact 

Many people say that they want to remain friends after breaking up, but that is mostly not a good idea. So what do you do? Try cutting off complete contact for a while, at least till you heal. Whether it s Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Gmail, or Pinterest, you need to deny yourself avenues to check out either your ex-partner or your past life with them. Avoid talking on calls and texts too. Get rid of their stuff in your house. If you have a song that reminds you of the time spent with your ex-partner, don t listen to it in the immediate aftermath of the breakup. If you can t do this yourself, ask a friend to help keep you on track or even do it for you. 



4 Must-Do Ways Of Coping With A Break Up

Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

Kissing has several benefits than it may seem, sure, it feels great, but apart from that, it also lowers your blood pressure. It further releases epinephrine hormone into your blood which allows your heart to pump blood faster and hence reduces the amount of the bad cholesterol. Here are a few reasons as to why you must grab the person you love and kiss him or her as soon as possible:

It helps reduce your blood pressure: Kissing dilates the blood vessels and this can in turn help reduce the levels of your blood pressure.
Relieves headache and cramps: The dilatation effect on the blood vessels seems to have a pronounced effect in relieving pain. This includes headaches and cramps from menstrual pain.
Fights cavities: The saliva production in your mouth increases when you kiss. The excess saliva production helps to wash away the germs and plaque that accumulate in your mouth over a period of time. On the contrary, the cavity forming germs can also be transmitted from the mouth of one person to the other.
Helps by releasing your happy hormones: Kissing helps release a cocktail of hormones such as dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin that are responsible for giving you a happy high. It is not just the sense of happiness you get from it, but also the hormones released can help strengthen the bond with your partner. Your lips have a dense connection of nerve endings which elevate the sense of pleasure in a person.
Burn calories: Does it substitute for a 2 mile jog? No. But studies have shown that a good session of intense kissing can help burn up to about 8 to 16 calories.
Boosts your self-esteem: Research has shown that people who leave home with a good bye kiss are more likely to work better and be in a good mood for the entire day. It could be because of the sense of feeling loved and cared for that makes one happy. A kiss can boost your self-esteem and even make you more productive at work.
Tones the muscles of your face: Kissing involves the muscles present in your face and jaw line. A vigorous smooch can allow those muscles to act up and shape them in the process.
Check out the compatibility with your partner: Kissing can be an important factor to measure the initial attraction of a person. This could be so important that it is often noticed that if the first kiss is not up to the mark, it can be a great turn off.

Kiss Day Special - 8 Reasons Why You Must Kiss!

Take a deep breath and relax! - a piece of advice given by yogis thousands of years ago. 

Modern-day life is not deprived of anxiety, trauma, mental stress, and depression in spite of the success in technological advancement that has made our life so much easier. Every aspect of life can be easily done with the majority of present-day inventions, yet mental peace is almost an obsolete element. This is because of the fast-paced stressful life that we lead.

Individuals are engrossed in the race of life rather than taking out time for self-counseling, contemplation, or just plain relaxing. Cutting out all the bustle and cacophony, people need to spend some time in contemplation and such an act is considered as meditation. It can not only solve issues relating to mind, but can also be a remedy for many health ailments as well.

Understanding Meditation

Meditation is a type of mind-body medicine. Meditation can produce a deep state of relaxation in mind. The act has been practiced for thousands of years. Today, meditation is practiced for stress reduction and relaxation.

During meditation, you focus your attention and eliminate the stream of perplexed thoughts that may be causing stress in your mind. This practice may result in enhanced physical and emotional well-being.

Improves heart and muscle functioning: When an individual is anxious or tensed, there is a release of cortisol and lactic acid which increases the levels of stress. The metabolism of the body is affected by these secretions. Cortisol is almost like a semi hormone that is vital for controlling metabolism. Meditation decreases the release of these chemicals and hence increase the functionality of heart and muscles.
Improves healing and cognition: According to extensive studies in human development and neuroscience, meditation has been proven to have clear effects on human brain and thus improve the wholesome functionality of the body. Also, it maneuvers our logical and cognitive skills. It is beneficial both mentally and physically by stimulating the brain to generate waves that bring it to the alpha state. This condition of the mind allows cell healing.
Other health benefits: Meditation helps you to reduce high blood pressure, elevated levels of blood lactate, and lessen panic attacks. It reduces any pain related to tension like ulcers, headaches, muscle, and insomnia. It also improves the immune system increasing your energy levels as well.
Mood booster: Meditation helps combat depression or mood swings as it helps secretion of serotonin that enhances our mood and thus works as an activity that elevates our mood. It is extremely beneficial for women to tackle Pre-Menstrual Syndrome and Menopausal mood swings.
Calms your mind: Meditation helps you to concentrate your focus on a single perception or experience, a no-thought stage, which is often detoxifying for the mind to unleash into an absolute state of rest. This is essential as it enables the body and mind to synchronize together to unravel and unwind. This state calms you from within, helps you to think about whatever problem is bothering you from a deeper elemental level and to a rational out the stretch. Your analytical perspective broadens and decisions made after that can never be wrong as it is propelled by a mature heart and a settled brain. It enriches you spiritually.
Meditation has an overall psychosomatic effect. Meditation can combat numerous problems. All you have to do is maintain the consistency.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

How Meditation Can Solve All Your Problems?

The first question when you greet somebody is 'how are you' and this often refers to our state of well-being. While most answers would be great, awesome or good, we usually think of how we are doing physically. While some of us may talk about physical conditions (say things like feverish, have a cold, etc.), not many would think of talking about mental health conditions. However, mental health is very important for overall well-being. 

Can you think of someone who is severely depressed or anxious all the time and have a good physical health? Chances are very bleak, and if you consider the overall health as a mix of mental and physical balance, this is not possible. Read on to understand how important mental health is and why you should start paying more attention to it.

Improved physical health: If someone is in a stressed state, it is obvious that they would not be able to do the activities they enjoy. Being affected mentally also leads to reduced immunity and sleep disturbances, making the person prone to infections and other disorders. Stress is one of the main risk factors for chronic medical conditions like heart disease and diabetes.
Improved prognosis: Most often, doctors focus on treating the physical aspects of a person s health. However, with recent emphasis on mental health, more and more doctors are looking at wholesome measures to improve a person s health. Results show that when a person s mental health is also addressed, the physical ailments respond very well.
Improved productivity: People with unattended mental health disorders often resort to absence from work and/or school, can have financial instability, be homeless and can fall repeatedly. Being mentally healthy provides overall changed perspective of life and therefore improves productivity.
Improved personal relationships: Children of people affected with mental illness are prone to neglect, abuse, rejection, and behavioural issues. There is also social isolation, which may lead into adulthood, and these children may also have emotional health problems. Others in the close circle including spouses, siblings, parents, close friends and colleagues would be clearly affected by a person who is mentally unhealthy.
Social effects: These people are highly prone to social crimes like rape, murder, theft, violence, etc. They may not be able to afford their treatment and/or resort to these crimes to assert themselves.
Improved quality of life: Life expectancy is higher in people who are mentally healthy. Even with mild symptoms of anxiety and depression, this is reduced, and the chances of a happier, healthier life are reduced.
Whatever the effect, mental health needs to be addressed as equally as we do physical problems, using medications, counselling, or lifestyle changes.

Mental Health - 6 Reasons Why You Should Take it Seriously!

Deepika and Ranbir show you how to manage relationships against all odds

Relationships may or may not always pan out the way you expect them to. Be it with a friend, family member or your partner, certain relationships may end up getting bitter over time. The reasons for this may be tensions in the relationship, break-ups, lack of compatibility, infidelity, lack of attention to details, over familiarity and so on. Although such incidents may scar you forever, it is always possible to mend your relationships, if you intend to.

The first thing you can do is to try to build a new friendship, whether it’s with your ex-lover or anyone else  you may have had a fall-out with. Take for example, the former couple- Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone. These Bollywood celebrities have flawlessly transitioned from being ex-lovers to being good friends.

So how did they do it?
Through 3 simple ways Ranbir and Deepika were able to heal the past and forge a new and meaningful relationship:

1. They kept it formal while setting boundaries

Ranbir and Deepika comfortably worked with each other in several movies as on-screen lovers with no insecurities. The reason they were able to do this was because they had set clear emotional boundaries.
Being secure is essential for you to stop yourself from reliving the past. Setting clear boundaries may help you in accepting that things are different now and the relationship has changed. Both the concerned people must respect each other’s decisions in order to have cordial relations and not be uncomfortable in the other’s presence.

2. They accepted the differences between them

Ranbir and Deepika were only successful in maintaining a cordial relationship because they had embraced each other’s differences rather than attempting to change each other.
You can only do this by giving yourself a little time. You can personally try to accept how every individual has a set of distinct characteristics and then try to respect and accept them for it.

3. They were polite and lived in the present

Even after having a checkered history together Ranbir and Deepika chose to remain courteous and amicable towards one another. They only focused on the present scenario, instead of mulling over past grievances - The biggest reason why they are on such good terms.
You should try to forget the past and hope for an improved future. Whether you meet at a social or an official gathering, you must hold your ground, be professional and courteous towards the concerned person. Participating in loose gossip about the individual or acting petty doesn’t reflect well on your personality.
Also, living in the past is a sign of an unhealthy state of mind. Learn to let go, and move on.

By learning from the real-life example of Deepika and Ranbir, you too can balance all your relationships well, no matter what happens.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Lessons from Deepika and Ranbir on How to Manage Relationships Against All Odds

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