In most Indian homes, a family is not complete with just one child. Until about a couple of decades ago, a family with a single child was very rare. The most common response would be 'with whom the child will play'. Between the siblings, there is always so much love. Starting from getting attention from the parent to education at all stages of life, this is one relationship which just grows and grows. While it definitely is a feel-good factor, scientifically too, it has been proven to have multiple benefits.

Read on to know some benefits of having siblings and how it can help you stay healthy and positive.

A constant companion: With a sibling around, there is no need to look for a play or study companion. There is always one available right in the same home. This provides for a happy, healthy equation with a lot of give and take that just extends through life.
Continuous learning environment: With a sibling around, the learning never stops. There is a constant teacher/mentor-student relationship with the elder one having an upper hand and trying to teach the younger one all sorts of things from using a chalk to spoon to math to magic.
Sharing begins at home: Whether it is your toys or colours, stationary or chocolates, siblings share a lot of stuff and so from a very young age, there is a behaviour that encourages sharing of all sorts of things. Studies have shown that children with siblings show a lot more sympathy and are more open to sharing things as compared to single children.
Builds selflessness: The next time you see two siblings, notice how the elder one is always so protective of the younger one. The elder one is willing to give up their chocolate just so the younger one smiles. Similarly, the younger one also would give up a toy so that the elder one is happy. This selflessness is ingrained in children with siblings, which extends into their other relationships too later in life.
Tougher individuals: Problem solving is something which gets built in early in life when children have siblings. This comes in handy later in life too, which makes them tougher individuals. They are also better skilled at negotiating, good at setting and achieving goals, managing relationships (both professional and personal), and are so more successful.
The relationship with a sibling just continues through life. The above are some pointers as to how having a sibling makes for a happy, healthier, and positive life. Anyone with a sibling would definitely vouch for these!!

How Having Siblings Can Keep You Positive and Healthy?

Role of relationship problems in depression and suicides - 
Almost everyday we read about people ending their lives by committing suicides from celebrities to common man to even children . Although this is not permitted in any religion and there is a legal debate on whether it should be legalized, the fact remains that people are driven towards this unfortunate step. Let's take a look at the common reasons for suicides to become so very common.

1) Lack of intimacy- We see that although we are surrounded by people most of people are having friends only on Facebook. Even among the people we interact everyday nobody wants to open up with anyone or allow you to open up with them.The fact that you are surrounded by people who don't share themselves with you intimately starts pulling your mind downwards. Work colleagues are bothered only about work, family is only bothered about the income you are generating, partners are obsessed with how much you can spend on them, friends are occupied with what benefits you can share with them. Therefore all in all, despite having all relationships, people feel left out and alone like as if their inner self has been left unwanted and uncared of. The monotony of mechanical life hastens the culmination of this abuse into drastic steps like suicide.

2) High demands- People are often left to fend with high demands from them from their social circle. Many people cannot attempt this and some who attempt are not able to make it. This leaves them with a feeling of failure which is often frowned and looked down upon whether it is a student or a professional. It is no surprise that today even below 10 years olds are successfully attempting suicides.

3) Inappropriate planning- Planning is a key necessity for successful results whether it is financial or relationships. but unfortunately many people are unable to obtain the correct know how which will enable to implement their plans successfully.

4) Inability to cope- Many people plan to do things but are unable to cope with the harsh realities that come with the plans. To some it may be unseen to some unbearable. So although they set out on doing something the journey is not what they had expected.

5) Lack of results- Sometimes although everything is planned well, executed well and completed well it does not fetch us the rewards that may seem appropriate to the level of efforts. This is something that is very difficult to deal for most people and is a result of many unfortunate casualties.

6) Lack of desire-It is very important to have something to look forward to in life. But unfortunately in an age where drinking water and using the toilet cost s money many people cannot think of having something to look forward to and hence this unfortunate step.

Therefore, you have to be very prudent in what we are doing today because we can never predict which way our lives may go and even importantly which way you may yourself go based purely on circumstances beyond our control dependent on the choices we make today or others make for us. Although suicide is not a sensible solution to any problem it does remain a common reality. If you are feeling suicidal please remember to seek help.

Please feel free to consult me privately for further assistance.

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Health Tip - Role of Relationship Problems in Depression and Suicides

Your health is affected by a number of physical, mental and emotional conditions. Falling in love is one of these factors. Being in love with someone does not only put a smile on your face, it can also boost your immunity and lower stress levels. Love can make you feel stronger both mentally and physically. Here are a few reasons why love is beneficial to your health.

You may have a longer life: Love helps fight stress and hence helps reduce the harmful effects of stress. Stress is a direct trigger for many fatal conditions such as heart attack and strokes and thus, being in love reduces your risk of such diseases. Studies have also shown that when in love, a person takes more care of themselves and hence has a lower risk of having an accident, violence etc. thus, being in love can give you a longer lifespan and can reduce chances of an early death.
You may have a lower risk of lifestyle diseases: Along with boosting your immunity love can also improve your lifestyle. Instead of microwaving a TV dinner, a person in love is likely to eat a healthier meal with their partner and be more conscious of their diet. Being in love also makes you want to look good thus, encourages exercising. By following a healthy diet and exercising regularly, you can reduce your chances of suffering from lifestyle diseases such as diabetes and obesity. Living with a person you love can also lower your alcohol and nicotine consumption and hence protect you from their ill effects.
It protects you from depression: Companionship and love are good for a person s mental health. Love can help stabilise emotions and keep you from depression. By living with someone a person does not have the chance to withdraw into themselves and can always rely on having someone to talk to. By sharing your thoughts and emotions with another person, difficult situations can become easier to handle and hence cause less stress and depression.
It can help you look younger: As mentioned earlier, being in love can make you take better care of yourself. It is often said that a person in love  glows . In a nutshell, being in love makes you happy and this releases happy hormones that aid in the removal of toxins and prevent premature ageing. When you re in love, you may also notice your hair looking healthier and shinier.
In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

Why Falling in Love is Good For Your Health?

"Focussing only on sexual intimacy is unhelpful unless you have an emotional compatibility with your partner. This is because, good relationship and good sexual intimacy are very closely linked to each other. 
Here are three top tips to help improve couple compatibility. 

*Make time and Talk to Each Other: Share your day with your partner. Talk about the good things that happened, the challenges you faced and anything that strengthens the mental bond.

*Stop Criticizing: this is Something that couples desperately need to work upon. You don't have to be harsh while telling your complaints given the fact you'd have to wake up right next to your partner every day. Try converting your complaints into requests for change in them. 

*Help Each Other in Your work:
Just extend your helping hand to help your partner in the things that they do. Sometimes, saying ""I am here for you"" is good enough for the person."

Being Good in Bed takes much more than Knowing good Kamasutra Skills

Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding and not a binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on how you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And, failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticise and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn't! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don't happen your way but have you tried to 'express' your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships results in frustration, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the 'progress' in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not up to it. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A 'No' from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don't want to do that right now! Feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you're taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C's : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using 'I feel' statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you're taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Have an open mind. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that...) 'Gunnysacking; (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in 'Summarizing self-syndrome' where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other's perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on 'Catastrophizing' i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
Get rid of 'Stereotyping'; (generalizing - all men are like..) and 'Gunnysacking' (cropping up issues from the past having no relevance to current problem).
Don't send double messages- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it is open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner's perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to well-being as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

Are You Happily (n)Ever After?

MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND ARGUMENTS? CHANGE THEM INTO FLOWING CONVERSATION
Conflicts and misunderstandings occur at all levels of interaction – at work, among friends, within families and between relationship partners. When conflict occurs, the relationship may be weakened or strengthened. Thus, conflict is a critical event in the course of a relationship. Arguments  and misunderstandings  can cause resentment, hostility and perhaps the ending of the relationship. If it is handled well, however, it can be productive – leading to deeper understanding, mutual respect and closeness. The health of any relationship is gauged by how the conflicts are resolved, rather than the number of conflicts between the participants. 
Conflicts run all the way from minor, unimportant differences to disputes which can threaten the existence of a relationship. Conflicts with a loved one or a long-term friend are, of course, different from negotiating with someone who does not care about your needs, like a stranger or a salesperson. 

 Principles that underscores all successful conflict resolution. 
1. Both parties must view their conflict as a problem to be solved together so that both parties have the feeling of winning.
2. Each person must participate actively in the resolution and make an effort and commitment to find answers which are as fair as possible to both. 

We may get so caught up with our own immediate interests that we damage our relationships. If we disregard the position of the other person, if fear and power are used to win, or if we always have to get our own way, the other person will feel hurt and the relationship may be wounded. Similarly, if we always surrender just to avoid conflict, we give the message to the other person that it is acceptable to be bullied and our needs don’t matter. Our feeling of self-worth suffers, resentment surfaces, and we feel frustrated in the relationship. Instead, it is healthier if both parties can remain open, honest, assertive and respectful of the other position. Mutual trust and respect, as well as a positive, constructive attitude, are fundamental necessities in relationships that matter.

SOME EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES TO HOLD EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS:
1. INITIAL AGREEMENT: The other person may be very angry with you and may be having loads of evidence to prove himself right. At that time, instead of arguing your position, simply agree at that time because there will be a grain of truth if nothing else. This doesn’t mean that you are giving up your values and principles. Sometimes its important to diffuse the emotional charge before working out on the differences. Sometimes its ok to “lose” individually in order to “win” together in the end.
2. EMPATHY: Sometimes putting yourself  in the other persons shoes and seeing the problem from their perspective helps build bridges. You could say,” I feel that you must be very upset with me for behaving like that with you, I should have been more considerate”. Half the battle is won and the other participant feels validated and will be more willing to listen to your tale of woes more amicably.
3. ASK QUESTIONS: When you ask questions, it shows that you care and are interested to resolve the problem at hand. Please note that while asking questions, be watchful of your words and tone. Asking exploratory  questions about the other persons thoughts and feelings rather than probing and insulting questions can take you miles on the way to effective resolution. For eg. “Is there anything that you would like me to know about this problem”?
4. USING “I” STATEMENTS: Take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings rather than blaming the other person for making you feel like that. This decreases the chance that the other person will become defensive. For example, “I feel pretty upset that this thing has come between us.” This statement is much more effective than saying, “You have made me feel very upset.” 
5. COMPLIMENTS: Find something nice and genuine to say about the other person, even if the other is angry with you. Show a respectful attitude. For example, “I genuinely respect you for having the courage to bring this problem to me. I admire your strength and your caring attitude.” 

A RATIONAL APPROACH TO RESOLVING CONFLICTS:
Here is a model that may help in resolving interpersonal conflicts. 
1. Identify the Problem. Have a discussion to understand both sides of the problem. The goal at this initial stage is to say what you want and to listen to what the other person wants. Define the things that you both agree on, as well as the ideas that have caused the disagreement. It is important to listen actively to what the other is saying, use “I” statements and avoid blame. 
2. Come Up With Several Possible Solutions. This is the brainstorming phase. Drawing on the points that you both agree on and your shared goals, generate a list of as many ideas as you can for solving the problem, regardless of how feasible they might be. Aim toward quantity of ideas rather than quality during this phase, and let creativity be your guide.
3. Evaluate These Alternative Solutions. Now go through the list of alternative solutions to the problem, one by one. Consider the pros and cons of the remaining solutions until the list is narrowed down to one or two of the best ways of handling the problem. It is important for each person to be honest in this phase. The solutions might not be ideal for either person and may involve compromise. 
4. Decide on the Best Solution. Select the solution that seems mutually acceptable, even if it is not perfect for either party. As long as it seems fair and there is a mutual commitment to work with the decision, the conflict has a chance for resolution. 
5. Implement the Solution. It is important to agree on the details of what each party must do, who is responsible for implementing various parts of the agreement, and what to do in case the agreement starts to break down. 
6. Continue to Evaluate the Solution. Conflict resolutions should be seen as works in progress. Make it a point to ask the other person from time to time how things are going. Something unexpected might have come up or some aspect of the problem may have been overlooked. Your decisions should be seen as open to revision, as long as the revisions are agreed upon mutually. 

Keep in mind that differences will come up in any relationship just because you two are different individuals with different perspectives, ideologies, attitudes and perceptions. Too much similarity in personality and working styles may be comforting but can be very boring and uninspiring overtime. On the other hand, differences can bring change, novelty and an added spice to the relationship. Two very different people can pool their different strengths and work together as a stronger team. Though, extreme differences may overtime sour the relationship and make living or working together difficult. You also need to look out for an emotionally or physically abusive relationship, which is based on power differential rather than respect and trust. A person may then choose to opt out after an amicable “goodbye” or "agree to disagree".























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