The feeling of instability is the crux of borderline personality disorder. This condition usually begins in early adulthood and is worst at its onset. As a person ages, borderline personality disorder usually improves and becomes easier to handle. For a person with borderline personality disorder, everything from their relationships to their moods, thinking and behaviour is unstable and constantly changing. This can be frightening but thankfully, this condition can be treated.

As with any other personality disorder or health issue, the earlier a condition is diagnosed, the easier it is to treat. Hence, it is important to understand the signs and symptoms of this disorder. This disease manifests itself in different ways in each person but some symptoms are commonly experienced. These include:

Fear of abandonment: No one likes to be alone, but people suffering from borderline personality disorder are terrified of being abandoned. Even something as simple as being stood up at a meeting, can make such a person extremely anxious. It can also lead to relationship problems by making the person seem clingy and jealous about their partner.
Unstable relationships: For a person suffering from this disorder, relationships are either perfect or failures. Hence their relationships are extremely passionate but very short lived and they often feel disappointed by their partners.
Unstable self-image: People suffering from this disorder may feel very confident one day and feel the opposite on the next. Though everyone has shifting views of their identity form time to time, for people suffering from this personality disorder, theses shifts are extreme. It can often lead to frequent changes in jobs, friend circles, relationships, goals and values. It can also cause changes in their understanding of sexual orientation.
Impulsive behaviour: People who display self-destructing and attention seeking behaviour may suffer from this condition. This disorder has been often associated with alcoholism, drug abuse and recklessness.
Suicidal behavior: People suffering from this disorder may often be associated with behaviour that physically harms them. They are also capable of following through on suicidal threats.
Mood swings: Extreme fluctuations in emotions and moods are a common experience or people suffering from borderline personality disorder. These mood swings usually start only a few minutes of a few hours unlike depression and other anxiety disorders.
Suspicion about everyone around: Borderline personality disorder can make a person struggle with suspicious thoughts about everyone around them and make them paranoid. They often feel out of touch with reality and can feel spaced out when under stress.

Borderline Personality Disorder - Signs and Symptoms!

Deepika and Ranbir show you how to manage relationships against all odds

Relationships may or may not always pan out the way you expect them to. Be it with a friend, family member or your partner, certain relationships may end up getting bitter over time. The reasons for this may be tensions in the relationship, break-ups, lack of compatibility, infidelity, lack of attention to details, over familiarity and so on. Although such incidents may scar you forever, it is always possible to mend your relationships, if you intend to.

The first thing you can do is to try to build a new friendship, whether it’s with your ex-lover or anyone else  you may have had a fall-out with. Take for example, the former couple- Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone. These Bollywood celebrities have flawlessly transitioned from being ex-lovers to being good friends.

So how did they do it?
Through 3 simple ways Ranbir and Deepika were able to heal the past and forge a new and meaningful relationship:

1. They kept it formal while setting boundaries

Ranbir and Deepika comfortably worked with each other in several movies as on-screen lovers with no insecurities. The reason they were able to do this was because they had set clear emotional boundaries.
Being secure is essential for you to stop yourself from reliving the past. Setting clear boundaries may help you in accepting that things are different now and the relationship has changed. Both the concerned people must respect each other’s decisions in order to have cordial relations and not be uncomfortable in the other’s presence.

2. They accepted the differences between them

Ranbir and Deepika were only successful in maintaining a cordial relationship because they had embraced each other’s differences rather than attempting to change each other.
You can only do this by giving yourself a little time. You can personally try to accept how every individual has a set of distinct characteristics and then try to respect and accept them for it.

3. They were polite and lived in the present

Even after having a checkered history together Ranbir and Deepika chose to remain courteous and amicable towards one another. They only focused on the present scenario, instead of mulling over past grievances - The biggest reason why they are on such good terms.
You should try to forget the past and hope for an improved future. Whether you meet at a social or an official gathering, you must hold your ground, be professional and courteous towards the concerned person. Participating in loose gossip about the individual or acting petty doesn’t reflect well on your personality.
Also, living in the past is a sign of an unhealthy state of mind. Learn to let go, and move on.

By learning from the real-life example of Deepika and Ranbir, you too can balance all your relationships well, no matter what happens.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Lessons from Deepika and Ranbir on How to Manage Relationships Against All Odds

Manic depression, also known as bipolar disorder in recent days, is a major mood disorder characterized by hypomanic or manic episodes (deviation from one's usual mood along with abnormally high energy levels). Mania involves sleeplessness, along with psychosis, hallucinations, rage, grandiose delusions or paranoia. Mania or hypomania isn t usually harmful to the patient and they might exhibit increased capacity for work and creativity. Depressive episodes however, can be debilitating and often life threatening as the person becomes self-destructive and suicidal in many instances. 

The extent of mood swings can vary from extreme to very mild. They can occur progressively or suddenly and might last for few days to weeks. Patients affected by bipolar disorder may experience disturbances in thinking apart from depressive or manic episodes. Distortions of perception and impaired social functioning are also not uncommon. The cause of bipolar disorder is not fully understood like most mental health conditions and is often thought to be hereditary.

The extent of the seriousness of the bipolar symptoms varies from person to person. In some people, the disorder is not full blown and they don t exhibit all the symptoms. Others who aren t that lucky might have to be hospitalized multiple times in their lives as the symptoms creep into their work and personal life and make living a normal life a tough challenge. 

Psychotic symptoms such as disorganized thinking, hallucinations and delusions might make a person do things that demand the urgency of hospitalization to keep them safe from their suicidal impulses. These symptoms might need to be urgently addressed by a psychiatrist and with the help of medications, the person might be able to regain control of their lives.

The symptoms of bipolar disorder are many and can be mainly categorized into two (sometimes overlapping) categories of mania or hypomania and depression:

Manic symptoms include: 

Grandiose delusions (delusion of grandeur) 
Racing thoughts which are often disconnected
Sense of euphoria or false elation
Irritability without cause
Hampered social functioning
Increased sexual inclination and risky sexual behavior
Hyperactivity
Increase in talking volume or speed
Impaired judgment
Reduced sleep requirements owing to extra energy levels
Increased productivity and creativity
Depressive symptoms include:

Abnormal eating patterns like over or under-eating to the extent of severe medical complications accompanied by drastic changes in weight
Difficulty in concentration, making decisions and remembering
Lack of energy or fatigue 
Contemplating about death for prolonged periods of time and suicidal behavior
Oversleeping, insomnia or early awakening
Persistent pessimism 
Irritability and restlessness
Feeling of hopeless and negative attitude
Mood stabilizers, such as lithium are commonly employed to treat bipolar disorder. Anti convulsants, benzodiazepines and anti psychotics can also be used in the treatment. Along with medications, support from family and friends is of the utmost importance as they need to help provide all the support required in making the person functional and healthy.

Manic Depressive Disorder - 11 Signs to Help You Spot it 

Have you ever noticed bar and clubs promoting energy drinks? You may have also bought energy drinks and alcohol, and tried mixing them. But what you don't probably know is consuming energy drinks with alcohol can be much riskier than drinking only alcohol. Since, very few people drink alcohol neat, a small shot of alcohol is usually mixed with juices, colas or more recently energy drinks to make a cocktail. While it is well-known fact that the sugar in these mixers is responsible for increasing the effect of alcohol on the body and weight gain associated with drinking, when energy drinks are mixed with alcohol, it can have an even more lethal effect on our bodies.

Studies show that this mix causes the brain to react in a similar way to how it behaves when in contact with cocaine. It can also cause permanent brain damage. This is because it stimulates the release of a protein cell known as FosB. This protein has the ability to permanently change the chemical connections inside the brain.

Some of the short-term effects of combining alcohol with energy drinks are:

Digestive troubles
Nausea
Loss of appetite
Depression
Hallucinations
Erratic sleep patterns
Violent behavior
Many of these effects can be a result of alcohol consumption as well and hence, it may not be attributed to the energy drinks being used as mixers. Regular consumption of such cocktails can increase your body s tolerance of this combination and make a person drink more. This can lead to long-term effects such as:

Malnutrition
Respiratory problems
Tooth decay and abcesses
Psychosis
Liver damage
Kidney troubles
Heart palpitations
Consuming alcohol tends to make a person feel sleepy and tired. However, when this alcohol is mixed with energy drinks, the caffeine in the energy drinks keep the person feeling energized and masks the effect of alcohol. This leads to a condition known as being  wide-awake drunk . In such a situation, the person begins to underestimate how much alcohol he or she is consuming. This creates a false sense of security and hampers with their judgement, balance and coordination. It also increases the risk of behaving erratically and getting into dangerous situations.

In addition to caffeine, energy drinks also have a high sugar content. A small can of energy drink can contain up to 30 grams of sugar. This is equivalent to about half the ideal amount of sugar one should consume in a day. The effect of consuming so much sugar is a fluctuation in blood sugar levels. If this fluctuation persists for a long time, it could lead to conditions such as diabetes and insulin resistance. Thus, along with understanding the ill effects of alcohol, it is also necessary to keep the effects of mixers in mind while concocting cocktails for your next weekend bash. 

Alcohol With Energy Drinks - Why It Should Never Be Mixed?

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can occur after one has been in an accident or has faced an event that has left a scar in their memory. The accidental trauma overpowers you with sentiments of misery and weakness, which in turn can trigger PTSD. Here are a few ways in which you can get over the trauma.

Tip 1: Get moving

Exercise can help your nervous system relax and be unstuck on the trauma by discharging endorphins.
Rhythmic exercises that use both your arms and legs, instead of concentrating on your trauma, can help you divert your mind. Eg. walking, running, swimming etc.
Exercises like mountain climbing, boxing, weight lifting, or combative training can make it simpler to concentrate on your body developments and make you stronger.
Plan to exercise for 30 minutes every day or if it is less demanding, three sets of 10-minute workouts are also good.
Tip 2: Self manage your nervous system

Discovering that you can change your arousal framework and quiet yourself down can specifically question the feeling of vulnerability, which is a typical symptom of PTSD.
Careful breathing is a fast approach to calm yourself down. Take 60 breaths, centering your concentration.
Similar to how particular sights, actions or smells can transport you back to the traumatic event, so can sensory information rapidly calm you down. The key is to locate the sensory information that works for you.
Reconnecting to uncomfortable feelings and emotions without getting to be overpowered by them can have a positive effect on your brain to adjust your state of mind.
Tip 3: Connect with others
Once the reflex has been activated, face-to-face association with people who make you feel protected and safe is the fastest and the best method for bringing your nervous system into its right place. The kind backing of others can be important to your recovery. Search for someone you can converse with for a long period of time, somebody who will hear you out without judging you or constantly being occupied. That individual might be your better half, a relative, a companion, or an expert advisor.

Tip 4: Make healthy life changes

The side effects of PTSD can be difficult for your body. So it is important to deal with yourself and build up a healthy lifestyle.
Take out some time to relax. For example, meditation, deep breathing, back rub, or yoga can initiate the body's relaxation reaction and get rid of the side effects of PTSD.
Stay away from liquor and medications. When you are dealing with troublesome feelings and traumatic memories, you might want to opt for elf-cure with liquor or medications. Eat a healthy diet. Begin your day with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with adjusted nutritious meals for the entire the day.
Get enough rest. Lack of sleep leads to outrage, irritation and grumpiness. Sleep for at least seven to nine hours each day.

Accident Trauma - How To Get Over It?

3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

Here is a list of 3 scientifically proven ways of increasing intimacy with your partner.

1. Look them in the eye and tell them all about yourself

Self-disclosure is an important part of relationships, especially during the initial phase. However, gradually as people feel that they've known enough about each other, communication seems to come to a standstill.

But the actual reason for this is not the lack of things to talk about but resistance which arises out of a feeling of vulnerability. It mostly happens in established relationships because both the partners do not wish to break past the certainty and assurance.

Therefore, the revealing part that may lead to some changes in perception is often skipped. However, not doing so and truly communicating with your partner can help you in increasing intimacy and having a deeper connection with your partner.

2. Share the laughter

Sharing the joy and the humorous experiences is a great way of increasing intimacy with your partner. Since every person's sense of humour is different, humour is a deeply personal aspect of your personality. Therefore, when you share genuine laughter with your partner that is when your sense of humour matches with each other, it improves your understanding and builds intimacy.

3. Tell them how you feel and know how they feel

It is extremely important for you to talk with your partner about how you feel - not just about the relationship, but about other important aspects of your life as well. If conflicts are dealt with by discussing how you feel about them and not on the lines of rationality, you end up feeling more intimate with your partner. Honestly discussing and exchanging your feelings is an amazing way of increasing your intimacy with your partner.



3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

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