Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding and not a binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on how you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And, failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticise and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn't! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don't happen your way but have you tried to 'express' your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships results in frustration, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the 'progress' in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not up to it. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A 'No' from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don't want to do that right now! Feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you're taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C's : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using 'I feel' statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you're taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Have an open mind. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that...) 'Gunnysacking; (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in 'Summarizing self-syndrome' where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other's perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on 'Catastrophizing' i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
Get rid of 'Stereotyping'; (generalizing - all men are like..) and 'Gunnysacking' (cropping up issues from the past having no relevance to current problem).
Don't send double messages- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it is open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner's perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to well-being as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

Are You Happily (n)Ever After?

We have a tendency to be our own worst critics. This affects your self-esteem that in turn affects how you live your life. Self-esteem can be defined as how a person feels about himself or herself and his or her abilities. Here are a few tips that could help you boost your self-esteem.

Make the right comparisons: It is human nature to judge yourself in comparison to other factors. However, comparing yourself to others is never a good idea. Each of us has different strengths and weaknesses. While one person may be great at outdoor sports, art may be another s strong suit. Find your own strengths. If you must compare, make a comparison on how you have progressed. If you like writing, look at how your style has evolved. Similarly, if you like a sport, look at the improvements you have made.
Set realistic goals: Whether its weight loss or career, it is important to set realistic and attainable goals. This should never be set in relation to another person. For example, setting a goal to get a promotion faster than your friend is a bad goal. Instead, set a timeline by when you want to reach the next step of your career. Ensure that these goals are realistic. You may have peers who have turned entrepreneurs but if you know that you do not have the necessary financial backing available, setting a goal to start up your own company may not be a good idea. Instead, if you do want to set up your own firm set a goal for the amount of money you need to put aside.
Focus on things you can control: There are some things we can control and others that we cannot. Do not focus on the latter. For example, you have little control over the education you received as a child. However, you do have control over the training and education you want to receive now. If you feel that you need to learn something more, take steps towards it. Merely saying that you did not go to a top school will not help.
Celebrate the small Stuff: Even small victories need to be celebrated. For a socially conscious person, simply going out for a cup of coffee with someone else is a victory. Similarly, booking online tickets could be a victory for a technologically challenged person. Celebrate these small things in life and you will soon be celebrating more things than dwelling on things you feel bad about.

Self Esteem - Ways You Can Enhance It!

Smoking is a die hard habit and many people eventually die of the same. It remains one of the most common causes of cancer and lung diseases, which eventually lead to death. The irony is that almost all smokers know the harmful effects, but find it hard to quit. With a firm determination, there are people who quit, but then the relapse rate is quite high too.
Many believe that quitting requires a behavioural change. From peer pressure to a lifestyle habit, smoking is a social phenomenon. There are various methods to help quit smoking like quitting cold turkey and nicotine substitutes. Hypnosis is also gaining popularity as a method to help quit smoking. Research has shown an encouraging success rate in the range of 30 to 40% in cases where the desire and commitment to quit are high. This of course is with people who have strong will and are able to be hypnotized.
Hypnosis or hypnotherapy is a psychological technique used as supplemental therapy in a lot of cases, such as weight loss, depression, speech disorders, pain management, de-addiction; the list can be quite long.  It puts the person undergoing therapy into a deep sleep or trance, where they get in touch with themselves and find answers to a lot of questions. It is believed that while hypnosis puts a person to sleep, it also induces a higher level of cognition and a higher level of neurological activity. 
'During the actual session, the smoker is asked to imagine the numerous ill effects of smoking and the need to reduce its harmful effects on the body. This improves the willpower to quit smoking and reduces the desire. They are also advised of the benefits of quitting smoking, including longevity of life and better quality of life. The person is told that quitting smoking before 50 years of age gives a 50% chance of increasing the lifespan by 15 years. Now that is quite motivating for a lot of smokers to give up the habit.
It generally takes about 4 full sessions of hypnotherapy to reach a level where the patient is ready to kick the habits. Also, self hypnosis can be taught where the person can go into hypnosis on his own and enforce smoking cessation. There are even self hypnosis tapes that are available for aid.
However, a word of caution here, hypnosis is not for everybody as not everybody can be hypnotized easily and there has to be a strong belief that it will benefit, only then can smoking cessation be tried with hypnosis. It is still in the testing phase and is to be medically proven as a way to quit smoking.

Hypnotherapy In Smoking Cessation

Schizophrenia is a psychiatric disorder in which a person s mood, knowledge, thought and several other characteristics gets disturbed. We can notice most of the adults and old people with few symptoms of schizophrenia, which are most commonly left unidentified. The exact cause of schizophrenia is not yet known. The person feels that they are being constantly watched, they feel the presence of someone or something, which is not actually there. They are always suspicious and think that other people are gossiping and thinking about them.

Possible causes of Schizophrenia
Though the exact cause of schizophrenia is not known there are few factors, which contribute to the cause of schizophrenia.

    Genetic factors: People with a family history of schizophrenia are at higher risk of getting schizophrenia.
    Environmental factors: Environmental factors include excessive stress during pregnancy or later stages of life. Several other factors during pregnancy and childhood are responsible for causing schizophrenia. These factors are:
        Decreased oxygen level during delivery due to premature birth or prolonged labour
        Parental loss or separation in early stages of life
        Parental exposure to virus or during infancy
        Childhood physical or sexual abuse
        Abnormal brain structures and brain chemistry

Sings and symptoms of schizophrenia

    Hallucination: To see, feel or hear anything that really does not exist is known as hallucination.
    Delusion: A thought or belief of a person, which is either false or impossible in reality is known as delusion.
    Thought and speech disturbances: The thought process and speech of a schizophrenic will be disorganized, due to which he or she  will fumble or is distracted as they are unable to align their thoughts.
    Difficulty in concentrating: It is difficult for people suffering from schizophrenia to concentrate on the task at hand.
    Erratic behaviour: People suffering from schizophrenia tend to behave erratically, either they will be too jumpy or will be perfectly still for hours at a stretch. Most people belief that those who are suffering from schizophrenia are often violent in nature, which actually is not the case.

Treatment for schizophrenia
Schizophrenia can be treated, if identified at an early stage. . It is best advised to consult a psychiatrist the moment you spot the symptoms. Anti psychotic drugs, self help behaviour change, counselling and rehabilitation are few treatment modalities available for schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia: Can Genetics be the Reason Behind it?

Reducing, limiting or stopping the intake of alcohol can be a bumpy road. Impossible as it may seem, it is possible to recover from alcoholism with proper care and support. Recovery being a gradual process, denial often plays a spoilsport. The first step is to accept that alcohol abuse is occurring and take the necessary steps to remedy it. 

Here is a list of a few steps that psychologists suggest can get rid of alcoholism:

Doing a cost-benefit analysis: The first thing a psychologist suggest is to do a cost-benefit analysis. For instance, the benefits of drinking could be having fun, a possible way to relax, forgetting about the problem at hand etc. On the other hand, the benefits of not drinking could be a better state of physical and mental well-being, improving relationships, having more time and energy to lead a healthy life etc. Similarly, the cost of drinking could be problems in relationships, depression, anxiousness, poor performance at work etc. The cost of not drinking, on the other hand, could be finding other solutions to deal with problems, losing drinking buddies, taking up more responsibilities etc.
Setting goals: The next step is to set goals pertaining to giving up alcohol for good. It is important to be realistic while doing this. The goal should be specific and precise in nature. For instance, the goal could be writing the date of quitting alcohol in a personal diary or something such as drinking a certain amount of alcohol during weekdays and weekends etc. It is important to announce or share the goal with dear ones. It helps to reduce temptations and avoid bad influences.
Cutting back drinking or quitting at one go: The next step is to work towards the goal. Once the goal is set, it must be adhered to. Keeping a personal diary to measure everyday drinking goes a long way in quantifying and ultimately limiting it. Instead of going out and drinking with buddies, drinking at home could help curb alcohol intake. Drinking slowly is also helpful when trying to quit alcohol.
Get sober safely: While some people can give up drinking over-night, some need medical and psychological assistance to quit. Either way, it makes sense to seek expert advice while quitting alcohol. Suddenly quitting alcohol can result in withdrawal symptoms. Nausea, headache, anxiety, sweating, shaking, elevated heartbeat etc. are some of the withdrawal symptoms. It is possible to counter these symptoms medically.
Change in lifestyle: While the body gets used to an absence of alcohol, it is necessary that certain lifestyle changes are made. For instance, daily exercise, building a good support network, developing a new interest, eating healthy food, meditation etc. helps a person to quickly get used to life without alcohol.

De- Addiction - 5 Things Your Psychiatrist Will Suggest!

Symptoms for Bipolar disorder varies from patient to patient. Bipolar 1 and bipolar 2 can vary in terms of signs and symptoms. Both diseases have a different set of symptoms and they are diagnosed according to the merit of the symptoms.

Bipolar 1
Bipolar 1 is characterised by a manic episode. This may be followed by a hypomanic or depressive instance. Symptoms of mania can cause major impairment in life and extreme cases may require hospitalisation. Bipolar 1 patients can suffer from psychosis as well.

Bipolar 2
Bipolar 2 is characterised by a hypomanic instance that lasts for at least four days and one depressive instance lasting for a minimum of two weeks. Bipolar 2 doesn t involve a manic episode. Frequent mood swings and violent behaviour can be major challenge in a patient s life.

Warning signs of manic and hypomanic behaviour:
a. Quick passing thoughts
b. Unusual talkativeness
c. Distraction
d. Increased social activity
e. Inflated sense of self-esteem

Symptoms of bipolar disorder

    Anxious distress: Apprehensions about not finishing a task on time, feeling of restlessness, feeling of losing control, difficulty in concentrating due to distress, fearing an awful event will occur in the near future, etc., are key symptoms of anxiety distress.
    Melancholic features: Patients suffering from bipolar disorder like to be left alone. They may not seek pleasure in any activity and even good things may not have much effect on them.
    Catatonia: This is a condition wherein, a person stops reacting to the environment. Not speaking and holding unusual body positions are some signs of these symptoms. There might be a tendency of mimicking too.
    Psychosis: This is one of the classical symptoms of bipolar disease. It is characterised by hallucination, constant depression and delusions.
    Seasonal pattern: There is a pattern of manic, hypomanic and depressive episodes throughout the year. The pattern might change within a month or season.
    Rapid cycling: The number of mood swings can exceed four or more times in a single year.
    Peripartum onset: This is a condition where bipolar disorder symptoms are witnessed in a pregnant woman during pregnancy or within the four weeks following delivery.

Symptoms in children: It is difficult to find symptoms of bipolar disorder in children and teens. Along with bipolar disorder, kids are most often diagnosed with other mental health problems as well. The problems can result from stress, trauma or chemical imbalance of the brain. Perhaps the biggest symptoms of bipolar disorder in children and teens are their frequent mood swings, chronic depression and feeling of despair. There might be a tendency of oversleeping as well. Reaching out to a doctor or professional help is very necessary for cases related to children and teens.

Bipolar Disorder - 7 Signs You Should Be Aware of 

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