Like everyone else, teenagers are susceptible to anger. When this gets out of control, it can lead to problems at school as well as at home. One of the major reasons for this is that teenagers do not know how to channel their anger and control it. When teaching teenagers how to manage their anger, it is important to understand that each child is different and will respond to anger differently. Here are a few tips that could help.

Recognize triggers and warning signs: Most anger outbursts are triggered by common factors. This could include feeling disrespected, feeling misunderstood, being refused permission or something or feeling as though too much were expected. It is important for teenagers to recognize these triggers so that they can deal with them in a better way. An anger outburst is also often preceded by certain physiological changes. For example, a person s breath could quicken or they may begin to clench their muscles before getting angry. Recognizing these early signs can help teens control their anger and not allow the situation to escalate.
Develop a vocabulary: Most teenagers throw tantrums and slam doors because they do not have words to express their anger and end up getting more and more frustrated with themselves and the situation. Hence, help your teenager develop a vocabulary to express what he or she may be feeling. This could include words like angry, mad, furious, irritated, tense, apprehensive, etc. Encourage them to talk out their anger instead of letting it simmer inside them. When your child does say things like  you re making me angry  etc do not immediately discipline him but instead talk it out. They may also be encouraged to write out their anger or find other creative outlets for it.
Deep breathing: Deep breathing is an anger management technique that helps adults and children alike. Teach your child how to take a few deep breaths before lashing out at someone. Show your child how to inhale slowly, hold the breath and exhale slowly while counting to five. This can help him or her calm down and handle the situation in a better way.
1+3+10: This is a golden rule of anger management. When your teen feels angry he or she needs to tell himself or herself to calm down. This is step 1. Next, they should take 3 deep breaths. This should be followed by counting to ten slowly. This can help them gain control of the situation and prevent an anger outburst.
The above mentioned tips can help in anger management of teen. However, if the condition seems out of control, you can always seek professional help to deal with the situation.

How To Handle Angry Teenagers?

There are few things I hear over and over again from students:

How they are studying for so many in a day
How they do not have even time for anything else in their life due to study pressure
How they are sleep deprived
How much they are stressed
And finally, afterall the sacrifices and hard work, their exam performance is not what they expect.
Here are few tips to study smart, improve your grades and yet have a life!
We all know that 2 hours of focused study will be much more productive than 4 hours of distracted study. And, the good news is that concentration is a mental skill that you can develop and improve. There are two ways to improve your concentration:

First, work on raising your brain's natural ability to concentrate or in other words, learn to increase your attention span.
Second, adjust the environment around you to make concentrating easier.
Improving your concentration takes a little time and effort, but it is worth it. In my personal experience with students, I have seen noticeable improvement in relatively short time.

A. Ideas for daily concentration boosting habits include

Mindfulness meditation: Many studies confirm that 20 minutes of meditation or more per day improves concentration and attention span. Mindfulness meditation, where one focuses on one's breathing,  is one of the simplest way of meditation. Start with ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes before bed. To begin with you may try a guided meditation. One can easily find audios for guided meditation online.
Proper sleep: I am sorry to say this. Pulling all nighters will not help with your grade. Unless you are getting sufficient restful sleep, you are not going to be as mentally focused as you could be to study as well as answer questions in exams.
Food for your Brain: The more you use certain skills, the more they are reinforced in the brain. So it makes sense that playing concentration games and games that require you to focus will improve your concentration ability. You need to be consistent in this. Play for about 10 to 20 minutes each day. Have fun, and get the benefits but remember not to spend more than 20 minutes a day. Your goal is to improve your concentration and not just keep scoring higher in the game! Try Lumosity and use only free version this will help you restrict your daily play time to 20 minutes and have maximum benefit.
Eat healthier: Your brain needs the proper nutrients to allow you to focus. Eat more vegetables and fruits and avoid consumption of junk food as much as possible. Instead, you could keep some nuts such as walnuts, almond or peanuts as in between munches. Lot of research has now proven that sugar is very harmful for our health. Reduce sugar and refined white flour in your diet as much as you could.  
Exercise: It is helpful in both reducing stress and increasing energy and focus. At least 20 minutes a day would go a long way. Going for a short jog of 20 minutes will make next 4 to 5 hours of study very efficient.
B. Optimize your mental state & environment

In addition to building the habits described above into your daily routine; also adjust your environment and your current mental state to improve your concentration when studying.

Create a study space: Your brain loves routine. Create a place where all you do is study. An obvious choice is a secluded desk of some kind, but the trick is to make sure you only study in that spot. Studying in bed is a bad habit, for example, because your body is trained to want to sleep once you get into bed.
Remove distractions: Turn off the ringer on your phone and take other steps to prevent interruptions. Don't study with the television on or with radio playing. Some studies have shown that soft instrumental music (no vocals) can help improve your concentration.
Reduce background noises: If you have to study or work in an environment where it is too loud (classroom or open space) or too quiet (such as at home or at a library) you can get easily distracted by outside influences. With the right amount of background noise you can actually block out distractions and enhance your creative thinking.
Use timer: Set a time limit when you need to study new material. For example, let's say you want to read one chapter in a book (and remember it). Decide in advance that you can have 45 minutes to read the chapter, and 15 minutes to review it. Set a timer to keep yourself honest, then pace yourself to keep within the allotted time.
Stay motivated: If you see studying as burden, it's hard to concentrate. One way to stay motivated is to set up a reward system. Tell yourself you have to earn that hour of watching your favorite show later in the evening by first completing 2-3 hours of intense studying. That way, even if the material is dry, you have the reward to look forward to.
Take breaks: Take a break every two hours. Your mental energy will begin to decline after a long period of study. So every two hours or so, take a ten-minutes break. Walk around, eat a light snack, or just stare at the wall to relax your mind.
Concentrating is the first step to learning anything new. It only makes sense that if you improve your concentration, your memory will improve also.

How an expert can help?
If you want to get individualized expert opinion about how you are studying currently and what ways you can improve; you can always consult the expert. Once he/she knows what your current study methods are, they will be able to give you specific tips to improve upon. Most likely once you incorporate those tips you will be spending less time studying and your grades will improve. That's what is studying smarter and not harder means!!

Ways to Study Smarter   Not Harder!

Previously known as multiple personality disorder or simply split personality disorder, dissociative identity disorder is a very serious and unpleasant form of dissociation. It is based on the lack of connection, or rather a discontinuity in thought, action, feeling, memory or even a misplaced sense of identity. It is usually considered to be a result of severe traumatic experiences in early childhood, varying from extremely physical to repeated emotional or sexual abuse. It is thought to be a self-defense mechanism where the person dissociates himself from any such experience or situation that would deem to be harmful to his or her conscious self. It is, however, not to be confused with schizophrenia.

Symptoms

There are innumerable indicators that point towards dissociative identity disorder. Some of them include:

1. Severe depression
2. Sleeping problems such as insomnia or sleep apnea
3. Alcohol or drug abuse
4. Anxiety attacks and phobias
5. Suicidal tendencies
6. Abnormal rituals and compulsions
7. Visual or auditory hallucinations
8. Self-persecution and self-sabotage tendencies
9. Time-loss and amnesia
10. Mood swings
11. Headaches and migraines
12. Inability to remember important personal information
13. 'Switching' of identities

Causes

The main causes of split personality disorder are unfortunately still unclear and vague, although 99% of persons who suffer from this disorder have a severe traumatic history or background. The causes need not be physical or sexual abuse. It could also stem from emotional abuse like insistent neglect. Studies have also showed that children may become dissociative, if their parents are either too strict or unpredictable.

Symptoms and Causes of Split Personality Disorder

Most Practical Tips for Controlling Everyday Stress

We generally use the word 'stress' when we feel that everything becomes too much to handle - we are overloaded and wonder whether we can cope with the pressures placed upon us. Nowadays stress is a normal part of life. Almost everyone has some sort of stress. Constantly reacting to stressful situations without making adjustments to counter the effects, threatens our health and well-being.

There are steps you can help you managing day to day stressful conditions and take to feel better.

Be realistic: If you feel overwhelmed by some activities (yours and/or your family's), learn to say NO! Eliminate an activity that is not absolutely necessary. You may be taking on more responsibility than you can or should handle. If you meet resistance, give reasons why you're making the changes. Be willing to listen to other's suggestions and be ready to compromise.

Shed the 'superman/superwoman' urge: No one is perfect, so don't expect perfection from yourself or others. Ask yourself, 'What really needs to be done?' How much can I do? Is the deadline realistic? What adjustments can I make?' Don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it.

Take one thing at a time: For people under tension or stress, their day-to-day workload can sometimes seem unbearable. The best way to cope with this feeling of being overwhelmed is to take one task at a time. Make a list of things you need to get done and start with one task. Once you accomplish that task, choose the next one. The positive feeling of 'checking off' tasks is very satisfying. It will motivate you to keep going.

Share your feelings: A conversation with a friend lets you know that you are not the only one having a bad day. Stay in touch with friends and family. Ask them how they have dealt with a similar situation that may be 'stressing you out.' Let them provide love, support and guidance. Don't try to cope alone.

Be flexible: If you find you're meeting constant opposition in either your personal or professional life, rethink your position or strategy. Arguing only intensifies stressful feelings. Make allowances for other's opinions and be prepared to compromise. If you are willing to be accommodating, others may meet you halfway. Not only will you reduce your stress, you may find better solutions to your problems. Go easy with criticism. You may expect too much of yourself and others. Try not to feel frustrated, disappointed or even 'trapped' when another person criticises you.

Hobbies: Take a break from your worries by doing something you enjoy. Whether it's gardening or painting, schedule time to indulge your interest. Exercise: Regular exercise is a popular way to relieve stress. Twenty to thirty minutes of physical activity benefits both the body and the mind. Meditate: Just ten to twenty minutes of quiet reflection may bring relief from chronic stress as well as increase your tolerance to it.

Take Herbal Supplement: Herbs like Brahmi, Ashwagandha, Mandukparni, Shankhpuspi, Kaunch are very helpful in managing stress. These herbs work on the brain and help relax you which ultimately empowers you to manage your stressful conditions easily. There are many herbal supplements available in the market that can help you.

Consult the Doctor: If your stress level doesn't seem to improve with above tips, it may require more attention and consultation with an Expert.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Most Practical Ways of Controlling Everyday STRESS

Nowadays, drug abuse is a universally condemned action such that selling certain drugs are illegal. Children are not allowed to take drugs until they reach a certain age such as 21 for most states in India. Lots of problems start occurring when you are addicted to a certain drug. It is also nearly impossible to stop since the nerve cells change the way they function due to drugs. 

These nerve cells overstimulate the 'reward circuit' of the brain. This means that your brain constantly needs to be 'rewarded' and this reward comes in the form of drugs. There are many reasons why people become addicts and here are some of them.

People want to get high: This is perhaps the most common reason why people become drug addicts. The moment they take in one drug, they love the feeling they get so much that they keep wanting to go back to it.
People want to fit in: This is also a very common reason. When all your friends and perhaps even your bosses and other superiors are taking drugs, you do not want to feel left out or ostracized by your friend group. This is why many people start taking drugs.
Unintentionally taking drugs due to injuries or medical conditions: Sometimes a doctor prescribes a medicine for a certain time period but it does not work or works too well and so you keep taking the drug so that you will feel better. This happens more often than you think.
People take drugs to relieve stress: This is another very common reason why people take drugs. You may easily rationalize with them thinking that taking drugs is a good way to relax from work and family pressures. However, the long term effects of taking drugs are much worse than the stress.
Boredom from daily life: In young teens and adolescents especially, life can be so boring that they want to try something new and thus resort to drug abuse.

5 Reasons Why People Get Addicted To Drugs

Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

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