OCD or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is an anxiety disorder, which can be indicated through obsession, having pervasive thoughts or thoughts, which may upset you, having certain compulsions, and practicing certain rituals, which may help to control or manage your obsessions. It is a disorder, which cannot be cured, but can be controlled with the help of treatment. Mostly, OCD is considered to be a lifelong disorder. It often circulates around the fear of germs or sickness and around keeping order and maintaining patterns. A person suffering from OCD can often be extremely annoying. Hence here are a few tips you can use to deal with OCD:

1. Understand OCD: The first step towards dealing with OCD is to know what you have to deal with. Gather as much information as you can about OCD and also read up about how you can overcome it. You need to know the symptoms of OCD so you can identify the disorder. Almost everyone suffers from OCD at one point of their lives. Hence, it is extremely important to understand OCD in order to treat it.

2. Work with your compulsions: Do not get petrified about your compulsions if you are planning to overcome your OCD, instead work with them. Try not to encourage their development. If you are worrying about whether you have switched of the lights, try and develop a mental picture of you doing it. If you are able to get a clear picture, then you have, otherwise you can go and switch it off. Another option is to maintain a list where you tick off the activity once you have done it so that you don't have to worry about it later on. 

3. Maintain a journal: Maintaining a journal will help you curb your fears and negative thoughts. Write down all your obsessive thought and reflect on how they are affecting you and whether they are worth your worry or time. Gradually you will see that you are able to control these thoughts and will be able to push away any negativity which comes along with them.

4. Remind yourself about the good in you: Make this your regular practice. Do not undermine yourself, instead make yourself feel good. This will help you to get over the fact that you have done something wrong in your daily activities (like not turning the gas off when you actually have) and that wrong is going to harm people.

Chronic OCD will require therapy and medical assistance. Hence if you are able to detect the signs at an early level and are able to adopt the above measures to control it, then going to a doctor might not be necessary.

Tips to Deal With Ocd

Anger is an inherent part of human nature. Regardless of whether a person is consciously or subconsciously aware of the feeling, our emotions are often overpowered by violence, hatred, and aggression. Much has been studied and said about the primitive negative fantasies of a child that later stems itself in the form of anger and aggression. In a modern-day world, it is crucial to managing one s anger by allowing positivity to take control and purge out the negative emotion.

Why is anger management crucial?
If one is not able to manage their anger, it can affect one s mental health while directly hampering professional and personal relationships. Anger management is a must for people who are not able to exercise control over their temper and allow this emotion to take control over their lives. Lack of anger management is one of the root problems in most urban countries including India. Steps should be taken to reduce its effects for so that there is an overall benefit for an individual and society at large.

How to manage anger?
Anger management is meant to help people control their anger practically while boosting the physical and mental wellness of the affected person.

Here are six effective tips to manage anger-

One should not pressurize oneself to be perfect. You should expect others to do their job well while avoiding anger and frustration in case there is any underperformance or failure in living up to the specified standards.
If one has gone through a traumatic past, it is important to confide in someone rather than sulking or brooding over it.
It is important to provide quality time for oneself so that one can derive pleasure and happiness and therefore be surrounded by a positive emotion.
One must try to handle the situation diplomatically rather than getting angry and allowing the situation to go out of hand.
The age-old remedy of counting backwards plays a commendable role in this regard. You should allow yourself some time to regain the composure and not lose the temper completely. Developing a positive outlook towards people and situations offers a new perspective on life and can save the day.
Expression of anger need not always be violent; you can choose to be quiet or avoid a particular situation if possible. This can save your relationships as well.
Both anger and stress are co-related, and their management also works in similar ways. This may be attributed to the fact that both these emotions comprise of similar constituents and can affect any person in detrimental ways. Prolonged stress and anger can take a toll on both emotional and physical health and therefore, it is necessary to control them and reduce its impact.

6 Effective Tips For Better Anger Management!

The feeling of instability is the crux of borderline personality disorder. This condition usually begins in early adulthood and is worst at its onset. As a person ages, borderline personality disorder usually improves and becomes easier to handle. For a person with borderline personality disorder, everything from their relationships to their moods, thinking and behaviour is unstable and constantly changing. This can be frightening but thankfully, this condition can be treated.

As with any other personality disorder or health issue, the earlier a condition is diagnosed, the easier it is to treat. Hence, it is important to understand the signs and symptoms of this disorder. This disease manifests itself in different ways in each person but some symptoms are commonly experienced. These include:

Fear of abandonment: No one likes to be alone, but people suffering from borderline personality disorder are terrified of being abandoned. Even something as simple as being stood up at a meeting, can make such a person extremely anxious. It can also lead to relationship problems by making the person seem clingy and jealous about their partner.
Unstable relationships: For a person suffering from this disorder, relationships are either perfect or failures. Hence their relationships are extremely passionate but very short lived and they often feel disappointed by their partners.
Unstable self-image: People suffering from this disorder may feel very confident one day and feel the opposite on the next. Though everyone has shifting views of their identity form time to time, for people suffering from this personality disorder, theses shifts are extreme. It can often lead to frequent changes in jobs, friend circles, relationships, goals and values. It can also cause changes in their understanding of sexual orientation.
Impulsive behaviour: People who display self-destructing and attention seeking behaviour may suffer from this condition. This disorder has been often associated with alcoholism, drug abuse and recklessness.
Suicidal behavior: People suffering from this disorder may often be associated with behaviour that physically harms them. They are also capable of following through on suicidal threats.
Mood swings: Extreme fluctuations in emotions and moods are a common experience or people suffering from borderline personality disorder. These mood swings usually start only a few minutes of a few hours unlike depression and other anxiety disorders.
Suspicion about everyone around: Borderline personality disorder can make a person struggle with suspicious thoughts about everyone around them and make them paranoid. They often feel out of touch with reality and can feel spaced out when under stress.

Borderline Personality Disorder - Signs and Symptoms!

MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND ARGUMENTS? CHANGE THEM INTO FLOWING CONVERSATION
Conflicts and misunderstandings occur at all levels of interaction – at work, among friends, within families and between relationship partners. When conflict occurs, the relationship may be weakened or strengthened. Thus, conflict is a critical event in the course of a relationship. Arguments  and misunderstandings  can cause resentment, hostility and perhaps the ending of the relationship. If it is handled well, however, it can be productive – leading to deeper understanding, mutual respect and closeness. The health of any relationship is gauged by how the conflicts are resolved, rather than the number of conflicts between the participants. 
Conflicts run all the way from minor, unimportant differences to disputes which can threaten the existence of a relationship. Conflicts with a loved one or a long-term friend are, of course, different from negotiating with someone who does not care about your needs, like a stranger or a salesperson. 

 Principles that underscores all successful conflict resolution. 
1. Both parties must view their conflict as a problem to be solved together so that both parties have the feeling of winning.
2. Each person must participate actively in the resolution and make an effort and commitment to find answers which are as fair as possible to both. 

We may get so caught up with our own immediate interests that we damage our relationships. If we disregard the position of the other person, if fear and power are used to win, or if we always have to get our own way, the other person will feel hurt and the relationship may be wounded. Similarly, if we always surrender just to avoid conflict, we give the message to the other person that it is acceptable to be bullied and our needs don’t matter. Our feeling of self-worth suffers, resentment surfaces, and we feel frustrated in the relationship. Instead, it is healthier if both parties can remain open, honest, assertive and respectful of the other position. Mutual trust and respect, as well as a positive, constructive attitude, are fundamental necessities in relationships that matter.

SOME EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES TO HOLD EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS:
1. INITIAL AGREEMENT: The other person may be very angry with you and may be having loads of evidence to prove himself right. At that time, instead of arguing your position, simply agree at that time because there will be a grain of truth if nothing else. This doesn’t mean that you are giving up your values and principles. Sometimes its important to diffuse the emotional charge before working out on the differences. Sometimes its ok to “lose” individually in order to “win” together in the end.
2. EMPATHY: Sometimes putting yourself  in the other persons shoes and seeing the problem from their perspective helps build bridges. You could say,” I feel that you must be very upset with me for behaving like that with you, I should have been more considerate”. Half the battle is won and the other participant feels validated and will be more willing to listen to your tale of woes more amicably.
3. ASK QUESTIONS: When you ask questions, it shows that you care and are interested to resolve the problem at hand. Please note that while asking questions, be watchful of your words and tone. Asking exploratory  questions about the other persons thoughts and feelings rather than probing and insulting questions can take you miles on the way to effective resolution. For eg. “Is there anything that you would like me to know about this problem”?
4. USING “I” STATEMENTS: Take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings rather than blaming the other person for making you feel like that. This decreases the chance that the other person will become defensive. For example, “I feel pretty upset that this thing has come between us.” This statement is much more effective than saying, “You have made me feel very upset.” 
5. COMPLIMENTS: Find something nice and genuine to say about the other person, even if the other is angry with you. Show a respectful attitude. For example, “I genuinely respect you for having the courage to bring this problem to me. I admire your strength and your caring attitude.” 

A RATIONAL APPROACH TO RESOLVING CONFLICTS:
Here is a model that may help in resolving interpersonal conflicts. 
1. Identify the Problem. Have a discussion to understand both sides of the problem. The goal at this initial stage is to say what you want and to listen to what the other person wants. Define the things that you both agree on, as well as the ideas that have caused the disagreement. It is important to listen actively to what the other is saying, use “I” statements and avoid blame. 
2. Come Up With Several Possible Solutions. This is the brainstorming phase. Drawing on the points that you both agree on and your shared goals, generate a list of as many ideas as you can for solving the problem, regardless of how feasible they might be. Aim toward quantity of ideas rather than quality during this phase, and let creativity be your guide.
3. Evaluate These Alternative Solutions. Now go through the list of alternative solutions to the problem, one by one. Consider the pros and cons of the remaining solutions until the list is narrowed down to one or two of the best ways of handling the problem. It is important for each person to be honest in this phase. The solutions might not be ideal for either person and may involve compromise. 
4. Decide on the Best Solution. Select the solution that seems mutually acceptable, even if it is not perfect for either party. As long as it seems fair and there is a mutual commitment to work with the decision, the conflict has a chance for resolution. 
5. Implement the Solution. It is important to agree on the details of what each party must do, who is responsible for implementing various parts of the agreement, and what to do in case the agreement starts to break down. 
6. Continue to Evaluate the Solution. Conflict resolutions should be seen as works in progress. Make it a point to ask the other person from time to time how things are going. Something unexpected might have come up or some aspect of the problem may have been overlooked. Your decisions should be seen as open to revision, as long as the revisions are agreed upon mutually. 

Keep in mind that differences will come up in any relationship just because you two are different individuals with different perspectives, ideologies, attitudes and perceptions. Too much similarity in personality and working styles may be comforting but can be very boring and uninspiring overtime. On the other hand, differences can bring change, novelty and an added spice to the relationship. Two very different people can pool their different strengths and work together as a stronger team. Though, extreme differences may overtime sour the relationship and make living or working together difficult. You also need to look out for an emotionally or physically abusive relationship, which is based on power differential rather than respect and trust. A person may then choose to opt out after an amicable “goodbye” or "agree to disagree".























The Power Of Passion

Passion is the energy that can fuel a project, or a task. It gives you the energy to jump out of bed every morning or go to bed late after you have worked out the last block that was stopping your passion from flowing. It has a similar role to inspiration. When we engage in something we are passionate about, we feel free from external and internal blocks and in control. Time recedes into the background, and we feel empowered to engage in flow. 
Research has shown that passion has brought people back to life and start thriving again, making them more emotionally stable and a strong mental equilibrium. Abraham Maslow, a US psychologist said that without passion, nobody would reach their  self actualised  state.

Passion can make or break you. Passion can make you feel invigorated, committed, focussed, connected, courageous, creative, satisfied and productive. A man can be passionate about sports and take out time every week to indulge in his passion, while keeping his boss and family happy. 

On the other hand, it can also ruin your life by being obsessed and possessed by the fire of passion. A workaholic, who doesn t go back home till 2 am and reports to office again at 10 am, he who doesn t see his children nor relaxes or does any physical activity is ensuring a quick burnout in the guise of following a passion. A harmful passion can be diagnosed easily by gauging whether it controls you or you feel in control of your life, which is about harmonious passion.

WHY  YOU MUST NEVER GIVE UP YOUR PASSION

1. Helps you unwind and relax - Zafar liked to do puzzles, crosswords and Sudoku when he started his day. It freshened him up and his mind became sharper as he looked at various permutations and combinations for the words and numbers. Daily new neural pathways were getting stronger in his brain. This exercised his left brain adequately every day. He slept well. Do remember not to do such exercises before sleeping.   

2. Expands your life - Some hobbies like travelling, cooking, collecting trivia has its own benefits. This involves physical activity and meeting up with other people. This helps a person to remain connected with society and keep active. Ram liked travelling so much that he gave up his job to become a globe trotter and tied up with a TV channel to commentate on tourist locations. He earns handsomely from his hobby. His self esteem has doubled since then.

3. Keeps your mind productively channelized - Nandini s problem was that she didn t have anything to do while the kids were away at school. She had started feeling depressed and got headaches often. She knew that she connected well with the children in the neighbourhood and had a flair for painting. She started teaching them painting in the evenings. Soon she became very busy and had no time to get bored.  She not only made new friends, she also earned the respect and awe of her community. She feels energised, happy and motivated to work while looking forward to life.

4. Success at work - Often passion has been linked to success at work. It is seen that people who are passionate, committed and hardworking often excel in their work as they have a goal to achieve. They look forward to their day and any hurdles or failures don t deter them from trying again. Neela was always passionate about becoming an IT professional. She had grown up playing with computers. Despite her family not agreeing with her choice of profession, she went ahead and burnt the midnight oil to score high in school and college. She got picked up in campus placements and today she holds a coveted position in the company. She has motivated many girls from her conservative community to study and get work.

5. Keep away illness - Having a hobby or working passionately has its own share of health benefits. People have reported higher physical and emotional immunity. They had deep and strong bonding with their community. They didn t suffer from insomnia, depression, dementia and anxiety and hope was alive in them till the end. They knew that success and failure are two sides of the same coin. 




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5 Logical Reasons You Must Never Give Up On Your Passion

Kissing has several benefits than it may seem, sure, it feels great, but apart from that, it also lowers your blood pressure. It further releases epinephrine hormone into your blood which allows your heart to pump blood faster and hence reduces the amount of the bad cholesterol. Here are a few reasons as to why you must grab the person you love and kiss him or her as soon as possible:

It helps reduce your blood pressure: Kissing dilates the blood vessels and this can in turn help reduce the levels of your blood pressure.
Relieves headache and cramps: The dilatation effect on the blood vessels seems to have a pronounced effect in relieving pain. This includes headaches and cramps from menstrual pain.
Fights cavities: The saliva production in your mouth increases when you kiss. The excess saliva production helps to wash away the germs and plaque that accumulate in your mouth over a period of time. On the contrary, the cavity forming germs can also be transmitted from the mouth of one person to the other.
Helps by releasing your happy hormones: Kissing helps release a cocktail of hormones such as dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin that are responsible for giving you a happy high. It is not just the sense of happiness you get from it, but also the hormones released can help strengthen the bond with your partner. Your lips have a dense connection of nerve endings which elevate the sense of pleasure in a person.
Burn calories: Does it substitute for a 2 mile jog? No. But studies have shown that a good session of intense kissing can help burn up to about 8 to 16 calories.
Boosts your self-esteem: Research has shown that people who leave home with a good bye kiss are more likely to work better and be in a good mood for the entire day. It could be because of the sense of feeling loved and cared for that makes one happy. A kiss can boost your self-esteem and even make you more productive at work.
Tones the muscles of your face: Kissing involves the muscles present in your face and jaw line. A vigorous smooch can allow those muscles to act up and shape them in the process.
Check out the compatibility with your partner: Kissing can be an important factor to measure the initial attraction of a person. This could be so important that it is often noticed that if the first kiss is not up to the mark, it can be a great turn off.

Kiss Day Special - 8 Reasons Why You Must Kiss!

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