Do you know that all the facts you know and have heard regarding post traumatic stress disorder are not true? Post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD is a mental health condition, which occurs because of a certain traumatic past event, witnessed or experienced by an affected patient. As there are several myths about this condition, it is important for you to get your facts right regarding PTSD.

Myth: Post traumatic stress disorder only affects war veterans.
Fact: Even though PTSD is common among war veterans, the condition is capable of affecting any person. It is expected that almost 70% people of the world gets exposed to some kind of traumatic event during their lifetime, and almost 20% of them end up with this mental condition. The victims of physical abuse and sexual harassment are very likely to develop PTSD. Women are more likely to experience this condition on the basis of traumatic experiences such as rape, beatings, and interpersonal violence.

Myth: People should be able to move on in life after facing a traumatic event. Those who cannot get over and cope are weak people.
Fact: Many people who experience a traumatic event of extreme intensity go through periods of adjustment after the situation. Most people become capable of getting back to normal life after some time of therapy and treatment. However, the stress which is caused due to the trauma gravely affects a person s emotional, mental, and physical well-being. Prolonger trauma is capable of disrupting and altering a person s brain chemistry. The views, perceptions, and thinking patterns of many people change after a traumatic event. This results in PTSD.

Myth: People develop PTSD right after experiencing a traumatic life event.
Fact: The symptoms of PTSD start developing within three months of experiencing an extremely traumatic situation, but they also might not show or appear before several months, or even years in some cases. The symptoms are likely to be experienced for several years after the traumatic event. In some cases, the symptoms may subside or leave, only to reoccur again at a later stage in life. This is common in the case of victims who have experienced extreme situations of child abuse in the past.

Many people do not recognize that they are suffering from PTSD. This is because they may not relate the current symptoms they experience with the past traumatic event. In cases of domestic violence, a victim may fail to realize that his or her prolonged abuse exposure is harmful.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - Myths & Facts About It!

Smith and Mackie (2007) term self-esteem as a set of positive or negative opinions about oneself. Self-esteem is an important predictor of success in career, relationships, marriage and public life. People who are depressed have a very low self-esteem about themselves. They think of themselves as good for nothings and persons having a nil value. There are three states of self-esteem. They are;

Shattered: An example of a person having shattered self-esteem is when he says,  I am old and useless to do this kind of work . This person sees himself as an absolutely useless person.
Vulnerable: In this state, a slight embarrassment or defeat may expose the vulnerable side of the person. Otherwise, such persons have a positive frame of mind.
Strong: People in this state are very strong emotionally. Defeats, embarrassments etc. do not affect them. These people have a very high sense of self-esteem.
Psychologists, however, have prescribed several ways through which one can improve one s self-esteem.

How to improve one s self-esteem

Control your thoughts- Watch out what your inner critic is saying to you. Every time you hear its voice, ask yourself- would this be the way your best friend would speak to you? If your inner critic is being merciless on you all the time, you need to silence it.
Focus on the good things that happen to you- Everyday, write at least 3 good things that happened to you. Avoid the obstructive or harmful things that came your way. Focus on the happier side of the day. Do not dwell upon the negatives.
No need to be perfect- In the quest to be perfect, many people lose control of themselves. It probably must do with the pressures of modern life where achievement is the be all and end all. But, not everyone can be perfect. Rather, focus on the effort or process. This way, you will be better able to appreciate yourself as a person.
Accept mistakes- Often we fail to realise that mistakes come to us masked as opportunities. But, we are too fixated by the mistakes we commit. We are obsessed with the thought,  Why did I commit this mistake?  rather than,  How to avoid this particular mistake? . If we learn how to avoid committing mistakes, we will tremendously improve our self-esteem.
Experiment with new skills- Try out new skills and then improve upon them. For example, you may pick up music and track your achievement levels. If you continually improve yourself in this new skill, you will obviously set new benchmarks. Give credit to yourself after achievement of every new milestone.
Accept your limits- You are no superman. You have your own limits. Once you accept your limitations, you will stop blaming yourself for all the wrongs that are happening to you. 

Self Esteem - How Can You Improve It?

Having a healthy brain is equally important as is staying physically fit. Good mental health is absolutely essential. Apart from regular exercises there are certain foods also which can help you to maintain good mental health. Below mentioned are few foods, essential for having a healthy brain-

Include fish in your diet- if you are a non- vegetarian then include oily fishes like salmon, sardines in your diet. These fishes are replete with omega -3 fatty acids, dha and epa. All these are essential for the brain to function efficiently.
Munch on nuts- nuts are rich sources of vitamin e. Vitamin e can help you prevent your brain from alzheimer's disease. Nuts are also beneficial for elderly people and can help them combat the problem of memory loss.
Keep preparations with green leafy vegetables on your menu- vegetables like cabbage; broccoli is abundant in anti-oxidants. Broccoli is also a good supplement for vitamin k. These help to develop your memory and also keep brain diseases like alzheimer's, dementia at bay.
Have a sweet tooth for blueberries- this fruit is rich in anti oxidants, vitamin c and k. It helps to deal with problems like memory loss, alzheimer's and dementia.
Add eggs to your breakfast menu- eggs are rich in choline and also protein. It acts as a very good food for developing a healthy brain.
Get addicted to avocadoes- avocadoes help to tackle problems like hypertension, blood pressure and also help in smooth flowing of blood. They also contain vitamin k and c which help in memory development.
Go for whole grains- whole grains like wheat flour, flour, oatmeal provide energy to your brain. They supply glucose and are thus considered to be very good brain foods.
The above mentioned foods are easily available and can help you to develop a healthy brain.


Foods for a Healthy Brain

Deepika and Ranbir show you how to manage relationships against all odds

Relationships may or may not always pan out the way you expect them to. Be it with a friend, family member or your partner, certain relationships may end up getting bitter over time. The reasons for this may be tensions in the relationship, break-ups, lack of compatibility, infidelity, lack of attention to details, over familiarity and so on. Although such incidents may scar you forever, it is always possible to mend your relationships, if you intend to.

The first thing you can do is to try to build a new friendship, whether it’s with your ex-lover or anyone else  you may have had a fall-out with. Take for example, the former couple- Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone. These Bollywood celebrities have flawlessly transitioned from being ex-lovers to being good friends.

So how did they do it?
Through 3 simple ways Ranbir and Deepika were able to heal the past and forge a new and meaningful relationship:

1. They kept it formal while setting boundaries

Ranbir and Deepika comfortably worked with each other in several movies as on-screen lovers with no insecurities. The reason they were able to do this was because they had set clear emotional boundaries.
Being secure is essential for you to stop yourself from reliving the past. Setting clear boundaries may help you in accepting that things are different now and the relationship has changed. Both the concerned people must respect each other’s decisions in order to have cordial relations and not be uncomfortable in the other’s presence.

2. They accepted the differences between them

Ranbir and Deepika were only successful in maintaining a cordial relationship because they had embraced each other’s differences rather than attempting to change each other.
You can only do this by giving yourself a little time. You can personally try to accept how every individual has a set of distinct characteristics and then try to respect and accept them for it.

3. They were polite and lived in the present

Even after having a checkered history together Ranbir and Deepika chose to remain courteous and amicable towards one another. They only focused on the present scenario, instead of mulling over past grievances - The biggest reason why they are on such good terms.
You should try to forget the past and hope for an improved future. Whether you meet at a social or an official gathering, you must hold your ground, be professional and courteous towards the concerned person. Participating in loose gossip about the individual or acting petty doesn’t reflect well on your personality.
Also, living in the past is a sign of an unhealthy state of mind. Learn to let go, and move on.

By learning from the real-life example of Deepika and Ranbir, you too can balance all your relationships well, no matter what happens.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Lessons from Deepika and Ranbir on How to Manage Relationships Against All Odds

Chronic health disorders like schizophrenia affect not only the patient, but also the life of their care givers. Though schizophrenia can be treated to improve the patient's quality of life, it cannot be cured. Hence, it falls on the care giver's shoulders to watch out for symptoms of this disease and manage the person and their disorder. What should one do in such a case?

1. Educate yourself: the first step towards looking after a person with schizophrenia is to know the symptoms of the disease. With treatment, these may become better or worse so if you notice any change in the symptoms, bring it to your doctors notice at once.

2. Reduce stress: your goal as a schizophrenic person's caregiver should be to give them a calm environment and boost their confidence. Stress has a negative effect on all people and in schizophrenics this effect is much worse. Hence reduce stress and create an effective support system and structured environment for your loved one.

3. Do not ask the patient to change'his reality: when a person is suffering from schizophrenia, you should not force them to change their behaviour and reality, in order to adjust in the society at large. You should rather support the patient to accept his reality, to be at peace, since there is a very strong genetic component involved in its aetiology. Also, it is important that, both the patient and the family in particular should opt for regular counselling sessions.

4. Regular exercise: schizophrenics need not be cooped up in the house all day. Encourage the patient to go outside and exercise regularly. Exercise reduces stress and produces endorphins that make a person feel energized and happy. This should be complemented by a healthy diet. Minimize the amount of carbs and sugar intake and increase the amounts of omega 3 fatty acids in the patient's diet.

5. Join a support group: joining a support group is a very good idea for both the patient and the caregiver. For the patient, this provides a form of social interaction and for the caregiver is a platform to meet people with similar first hand experiences

6. Encourage treatment: convincing a schizophrenic person to seek treatment can be quite challenging. Suggest treating symptoms of the disorder such as insomnia and lack of energy rather than the disease itself to make the patient feel more comfortable. Give the patient options to choose from to make them feel more in control of the situation.

7. Monitor medication: once the treatment has started, ensure that the patient sticks to the prescription. Maintain a regular schedule by using weekly pill boxes and alarms. Also keep an eye on the possible side effects of these medicines. Ensure that your doctor has a complete list of medicines that the patient takes so that there is no chance of medicines interacting negatively with each other.

8. Prepare for crisis situations: it is always a good idea to have an emergency plan in place. Keep emergency contact details of all the doctors and therapists at hand along with the address and phone number of the closest hospital. Share your situation with friends and family so that in case of an emergency, they can be relied upon to take care of your children and other dependants.

Living with Schizophrenia

3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

Here is a list of 3 scientifically proven ways of increasing intimacy with your partner.

1. Look them in the eye and tell them all about yourself

Self-disclosure is an important part of relationships, especially during the initial phase. However, gradually as people feel that they've known enough about each other, communication seems to come to a standstill.

But the actual reason for this is not the lack of things to talk about but resistance which arises out of a feeling of vulnerability. It mostly happens in established relationships because both the partners do not wish to break past the certainty and assurance.

Therefore, the revealing part that may lead to some changes in perception is often skipped. However, not doing so and truly communicating with your partner can help you in increasing intimacy and having a deeper connection with your partner.

2. Share the laughter

Sharing the joy and the humorous experiences is a great way of increasing intimacy with your partner. Since every person's sense of humour is different, humour is a deeply personal aspect of your personality. Therefore, when you share genuine laughter with your partner that is when your sense of humour matches with each other, it improves your understanding and builds intimacy.

3. Tell them how you feel and know how they feel

It is extremely important for you to talk with your partner about how you feel - not just about the relationship, but about other important aspects of your life as well. If conflicts are dealt with by discussing how you feel about them and not on the lines of rationality, you end up feeling more intimate with your partner. Honestly discussing and exchanging your feelings is an amazing way of increasing your intimacy with your partner.



3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

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