HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

Anger is an ordinary and is an expressed reaction to an attack, perceived danger or fear. It has been very useful in our struggle for survival. The brain distinguishes the danger and the body is provoked and energized to respond with battle or fight. Once in a while, obviously, it gets out of hand. A few people, unmistakably, see dangers where there are none or where the risk is negligible. Their bodies get provoked improperly. They could use some assistance in understanding the signs that trigger their reactions and discover approaches to improve control.

Health problems: There are some individuals who encounter so much anger that they cannot control their drive to strike out at other people. This is isolated and separated from the issue of alcohol and medication misuse. It is imperative to recall that in case that you are a person who effectively gets angry and has outbursts, you can hurt your health.

Aerobics: Many of us are aware of the advantageous impacts that workout has on one s well-being and health. Various studies exhibit that every day exercise, particularly a program that includes aerobic exercise, can counteract or lessen feelings of anger or depression. Aerobic exercises, much like cardio activities, such as running, brisk walking, swimming and bike riding gets a person out of breath while expanding the pulse and heart rate.

Muscle relaxation: Muscle relaxation requires you to concentrate on straining and unwinding specific muscle groups in your body, so that it can divert you from your sentiments of anger. Moreover, it is great for mitigating nervousness and pressure, which can likewise ease angry emotions. This activity additionally attempts to help you rest when your emotions are running high. Concentrate on a specific muscle group, for example, the muscles in one hand. While breathing in profoundly and gradually, crush the muscles as hard as you can and keep up that pressure for five seconds. For instance, straining your hand muscles would include shaping a tight clench hand. Concentrate on that gathering of muscles and make an effort not to unintentionally tense the surrounding muscles.

30 minutes: There is a lot to be gained even from a 30 minute routine at the gym, in the recreation center or at home. If you have any sort of medical condition, or if you are not sure about the condition of your health, you must consult your doctor. When you get medicinal freedom for activities, it helps arranging and using a work out timetable of no less than thrice each week.

All things considered, you do not have anything to lose except excess weight, depression and now, perhaps even anger. Along these lines, in case that you need to better deal with your anger as it emerges, a great workout might be the correct approach.

How Workout is the Best Way to Get Over Your Anger?

Top 4 Ways You Can Increase Your Willpower

There are days when you wake up but you don’t want to move out of the bed. When your alarm goes off and you open your eyes feeling groggy and disoriented.Times when you accept defeat and stop moving towards what you want to achieve in life. These are just indicators of being low on motivation and lacking will power to chnage things. It’s more psychological than physical. Follow these simple tips, to come out of your cocoon and boost your willpower. 

Try these four ways to up your willpower.

1) Meditate - Meditation is the key to unleashing your powers, especially willpower. Practicing mindfulness, even for few minutes a day can help in boosting your willpower.

2) Exercise - The magic pill of exercise is another best way to boost your willpower. It is recommended that you exercise for 30 minutes, at least three times a week to ensure that you feel fitter, reduce your anxiety levels and boost your overall willpower to achieve bigger and better things in life.

3) Hold yourself accountable - That’s one of the best ways to boost your willpower. If you hold yourself accountable in your own life, if you know that those reasons of not getting out of the bed are mere excuses, then you would certainly increase your willpower.

4) Set Goals - One of the reasons why people experience a faltering in their will power is the fact that they don’t set their goals. Setting definitive targets is a must.You must ensure that the goal is set with measurable quantities, is specific, attainable, relevant and timely. All of this will certainly help you in enhancing your willpower.

If you have any further questions, ask me by clicking on 'consult'.

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Top 4 Ways You Can Increase Your Willpower

When it comes to the brain and the iq, is bigger the better? does size really matter? is there really a connection between the size of your brain and intelligence? with the help of findings by neurologists 
And scientists, we seek to find out!

1. Ailments and the brain: scientists have found that children with autism have a brain that has grown in a disproportionate manner in the very first year of their life. This prevents the child from making connections with normal behaviour. On the other hand, children and adolescents who suffer from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or adhd have shown signs of having a much smaller brain size. Many scientists have shown that the size of the brain shrinks as we age, and this does not have any visible effect on our cognitive abilities.

2. It's all relative: the size of the brain does not really have a bearing on the way a person's cognition gets shaped. Even large mammals like elephants and whales are finally hunted and tamed by humans who have smaller brains in comparison. The brain is made up of billions of neurons which need to function properly. It may be seen that scientists consider the brain mass in relation with the rest of the body so as to speculate about the cognitive abilities of the person. Why is this required? large animals need a well functioning and proportionate brain size to control and run their organs with proper cognition for satisfactory results, which is what we humans seem to have done.

3. Neanderthal brains: historically, the earliest man or the neanderthals are said to have had larger brains than we do. These people are believed to have brains that are at least 10% larger than the brains that we have in our modern times. The shape of their brain was different too. They were also heavily muscled people which had a bearing on the size and shape of the brain and bodies as well as the lean tissue within the brain. They also survived very successfully for a period of over 200, 000 years, which obviously points to some form of elevated cognition, as per many scientists.

4. Animals: while animals with small brains like lizards and reptiles do not perform too well on iq tests, the animals with bigger brains like elephants and dolphins perform much better. But the medium sized brains of monkeys, lemurs and other animals are said to perform in the best manner. The correlation between the body size and the brain does not seem to hold good here, as per various researches.

So the verdict as per medical science and research stands divided!

Is There an Association Between Brain Size and Intelligence?

Raising a child with dyslexia can stir up a lot of emotions. You may look ahead and wonder if this learning issue will affect your child's future. But dyslexia is not a prediction of failure. Dyslexia is quite common, and many successful individuals have dyslexia.

Research has proven that there are different ways of teaching that can help people with dyslexia succeed. There's a lot you can do as a parent too.

What are the symptoms of dyslexia?

Because dyslexia affects some people more severely than others, your child's symptoms may look different from those in another child. Some kids with dyslexia have trouble with reading and spelling. Others may struggle to write or to tell left from right.

Dyslexia can also make it difficult for people to express themselves clearly. It can be hard for them to structure their thoughts during conversation. They may have trouble finding the right words to say.

Others struggle to understand what they're hearing. This is especially true when someone uses nonliteral language such as jokes and sarcasm.

The signs you see may also look different at various ages. Some of the warning signs for dyslexia, such as a speech delay, appear before a child reaches kindergarten. More often, though, dyslexia is identified in grade school. As schoolwork gets more demanding, trouble processing language becomes more apparent.

Here are some signs to look out for:

Warning Signs in Preschool or Kindergarten

Has trouble recognizing the letters of the alphabet

Struggles to match letters to sounds, such as not knowing what sounds b or h make

Has difficulty blending sounds into words, such as connecting C-H-A-T to the word chat

Struggles to pronounce words correctly, such as saying 'mawn lower' instead of 'lawn mower'

Has difficulty learning new words

Has a smaller vocabulary than other kids the same age

Has trouble learning to count or say the days of the week and other common word sequences

Has trouble rhyming

Warning Signs in Grade School or Middle School

Struggles with reading and spelling

Confuses the order of letters, such as writing 'left' instead of 'felt'

Has trouble remembering facts and numbers

Has difficulty gripping a pencil

Has difficulty using proper grammar

Has trouble learning new skills and relies heavily on memorization

Gets tripped up by word problems in math

Has a tough time sounding out unfamiliar words

Has trouble following a sequence of directions

Warning Signs in High School

Struggles with reading out loud

Doesn't read at the expected grade level

Has trouble understanding jokes or idioms

Has difficulty organizing and managing time

Struggles to summarize a story

Has difficulty learning a foreign language

Skills that are affected by Dyslexia-

Dyslexia doesn't just affect reading and writing. Here are some everyday skills and activities your child may be struggling with because of this learning issue:

General

Appears bright, highly intelligent, and articulate but unable to read, write, or spell at grade level.

Labelled lazy, dumb, careless, immature, "not trying hard enough," or "behavior problem."

Isn't "behind enough" or "bad enough" to be helped in the school setting.

High in IQ, yet may not test well academically; tests well orally, but not written.

Feels dumb; has poor self-esteem; hides or covers up weaknesses with ingenious compensatory strategies; easily frustrated and emotional about school reading or testing.

Talented in art, drama, music, sports, mechanics, story-telling, sales, business, designing, building, or engineering.

Seems to "Zone out" or daydream often; gets lost easily or loses track of time.

Difficulty sustaining attention; seems "hyper" or "daydreamer."

Learns best through hands-on experience, demonstrations, experimentation, observation, and visual aids.

Vision, Reading, and Spelling Skills

Complains of dizziness, headaches or stomach aches while reading.

Confused by letters, numbers, words, sequences, or verbal explanations.

Reading or writing shows repetitions, additions, transpositions, omissions, substitutions, and reversals in letters, numbers and/or words.

Complains of feeling or seeing non-existent movement while reading, writing, or copying.

Seems to have difficulty with vision, yet eye exams don't reveal a problem.

Extremely keen sighted and observant, or lacks depth perception and peripheral vision.

Reads and rereads with little comprehension.

Spells phonetically and inconsistently.

Hearing and Speech Skills

Has extended hearing; hears things not said or apparent to others; easily distracted by sounds.

Difficulty putting thoughts into words; speaks in halting phrases; leaves sentences incomplete; stutters under stress; mispronounces long words, or transposes phrases, words, and syllables when speaking.

Writing and Motor Skills

Trouble with writing or copying; pencil grip is unusual; handwriting varies or is illegible.

Clumsy, uncoordinated, poor at ball or team sports; difficulties with fine and/or gross motor skills and tasks; prone to motion-sickness.

Can be ambidextrous, and often confuses left/right, over/under.

Math and Time Management Skills

Has difficulty telling time, managing time, learning sequenced information or tasks, or being on time.

Computing math shows dependence on finger counting and other tricks; knows answers, but can't do it on paper.

Can count, but has difficulty counting objects and dealing with money.

Can do arithmetic, but fails word problems; cannot grasp algebra or higher math.

Memory and Cognition

Excellent long-term memory for experiences, locations, and faces.

Poor memory for sequences, facts and information that has not been experienced.

Thinks primarily with images and feeling, not sounds or words (little internal dialogue).

Behavior, Health, Development and Personality

Extremely disorderly or compulsively orderly.

Can be class clown, trouble-maker, or too quiet.

Had unusually early or late developmental stages (talking, crawling, walking, tying shoes).

Prone to ear infections; sensitive to foods, additives, and chemical products.

Can be an extra deep or light sleeper; bedwetting beyond appropriate age.

Unusually high or low tolerance for pain.

Strong sense of justice; emotionally sensitive; strives for perfection.

What can be done at home for dyslexia?

Helping your child with dyslexia can be a challenge, particularly if you're never been confident in your own reading and writing skills. But you don't have to be an expert to help work on certain skills or strengthen your child's self-esteem.

Keep in mind that kids (and families) are all different, so not all options will work for you. Don't panic if the first strategies you try aren't effective. You may need to try several approaches to find what works best for your child. Here are some things you can try at home:

Read out loud every day

Tap into your child's interests

Use audiobooks

Look for apps and other high-tech help

Focus on effort, not outcome

Make your home reader-friendly

Boost confidence

What can make the journey easier?

Dyslexia can present challenges for your child and for you. But with the proper support, almost all people with dyslexia can become accurate readers. Your involvement will help tremendously.

Wherever you are in your journey, whether you're just starting out or are well on your way, this site can help you find more ways to support your child. Here are a few things that can help make the journey easier:

Connect with other parents. Remember that you're not alone. Use our safe online community to find parents like you.

Get behavior advice. Parenting Coach offers expert-approved strategies on a variety of issues that can affect children with dyslexia, including trouble with time management, anxiety and fear, frustration and low self-esteem.

Build a support plan. Come up with a game plan and anticipate what lies ahead.

Understanding dyslexia and looking for ways to help your child is an important first step. There's a lot you can do just don't feel you have to do everything all at once. Pace yourself. If you try a bunch of strategies at the same time, it might be hard to figure out which ones are working. And do your best to stay positive. Your love and support can make a big difference in your child's life.

9 Dyslexia Signs & Symptoms - Your Kid is Suffering from it!

Do people really suffer from mood disorders?

Mood disorders are common psychological problems that affect a vast portion of the human populace all over the world every year. These occur when there is a shift or imbalance in a person's psyche which affects his or her daily function and interpersonal relations in varying degrees. Each individual is affected by these conditions in a different capacity and responds to them in a distinct manner.

Mood disorders generally manifest themselves as fluctuations in a person's temperament. It is triggered by various factors. These mental illnesses range from mild to severe, the latter requiring urgent psychological counseling and treatment. A mild condition may even develop into a painful and chronic one without any form of remedial intervention.

What are the most common types of mood disorders?

There are many distinctive categories of mood disorders that can affect a person. The most commonly occurring ones are as follows:

- major depressive disorder

- bipolar disorder

- dysthymia

- cyclothymia

- seasonal affective disorder (sad)

Major depression is the most frequently occurring type of mood disorder. It causes mental and emotional turmoil, as well as physical anguish. Those affected by it may experience a single episode in isolation or multiple episodes over a period of time. The milder version of this condition is known as dysthymia.

Bipolar disorder is a comparatively rare condition that causes alternating states of extreme mania and depression. It is also known as manic-depressive illness. The mild version of this is called cyclothymia.

Seasonal affective disorder or sad is a depressive disorder that is known to affect those living in colder climes. It is caused generally by the lack of warmth and light, the onset of which begins in late autumn and lasts till the end of winter.

What causes a mood disorder?

Mood disorders are very difficult to diagnose as they can be caused by an assortment of triggers and the symptoms are not always apparent. This is particularly true in the case of dysthymia and cyclothymia.

Some of the usual factors that lead to mood disorders are:

- chronic stress and anxiety

- anomalies in the functioning of the nervous system

- prolonged periods of isolation

- genetics

- childhood abuse and trauma

- ineffectual coping mechanisms

- insufficient nourishment/malnutrition

In most cases, a combination of multiple factors usually leads to the development of mood disorders and other mental illnesses.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: 5 Mood Uplifting Foods You Must Keep Handy

Do People Really Suffer from Mood Disorders?

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