Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

Dyslexia is a neurological condition which makes learning a difficult process in children. Children suffering from dyslexia find themselves incapable of reading and learning as compared to their peers. Dyslexia occurs when the brain cannot process graphic symbols. This causes difficulty in recognizing, spelling and also decoding words. The effect of this condition varies from one person to another and is most often a lifelong condition. It can also vary as a result of different ages in people. However, a slower reading level is one common characteristic that is present in all dyslexic children.

Dyslexia is a strictly neurological condition that has little to do with a person s intelligence. It can also occur as a result of genetic conditions. Early detection of the condition can help in improvement before he or she reaches adolescence. A thorough evaluation process of the child will include the following aspects IQ level, language skills, ability of word recognition, phonological processing, automaticity skills, fluency skills, family history and also knowledge of vocabulary.

The most common symptoms of dyslexia include:

Trouble reading
Very slow progression to milestones such as walking, talking, crawling and learning to ride a bicycle.
Slow development of speech
Trouble with hand-eye coordination
A slow rate of learning when it comes to data
Problem with speech
Very poor concentration span
Children suffering from dyslexia are more prone to developing certain autoimmune diseases such as eczema and asthma.
Dyslexia is sometimes subdivided into a number of categories such as Surface Dyslexia, Rapid Deficit Dyslexia, Visual Dyslexia and Phonological Dyslexia.

There is no medical treatment for dyslexia and help generally includes assigning reading specialists, child psychologist, speech-language pathologists and child neuropsychologists.

Certain practices that you yourself follow when dealing with your dyslexic child are:

Praise your child from time to time
Remind your child that being dyslexic has nothing to do with intelligence levels
Mix with other parents who have dyslexic children and interact with them about ways and strategies to heighten the child s confidence level.
Deal with your child patiently.

Understanding Dyslexia - What All Should You Know


7 CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTIONALLY STRONG PEOPLE

Emotionally strong people are better able to manage the stresses and distresses of daily life, and recover more quickly from challenges and crises when they arise. Is your emotional engine strong enough to take you through the ups and downs of life? Are you riding a bullock cart which can topple over anytime you pass through a broken road or are you driving a four wheel, all terrain vehicle, which will ensure you a safe trip through all the rocky terrains of your life?

A common cultural belief is that people who don’t cry and are unemotional, detached are the emotionally strong ones...and the ones who cry easily and exhibit emotional turmoil are the weaker ones. Well, this is just a myth and not an accurate indicator of one’s mental and emotional strength. A person’s internal coping mechanism will determine how strong he/she is emotionally and deal with challenges and bounce back from them. For eg. Two investors invest in a startup company and watch it fail after 5 years of hard work...one cries copious tears and falls apart, the other controls his emotions but feels defeated. Both were not emotionally strong as they couldn’t sustain the pressure and crumbled. It would have been fine if they felt sad and worried over the loss of time, resources and money and then bounced back with fresh ideas and renewed energy, which would have shown their capability to bounce back from difficult situations.

Unfortunately, too many of us judge ourselves incorrectly in exactly such moments. If we react emotionally or tearfully to emotionally challenging situations we scold ourselves for being weak, even when we have every intention of persisting and moving forward and even when we believe we will eventually succeed. Tears are usually a sign of frustration and disappointment, not defeat. What you believe about your future chances of success and how discouraged you feel in the long term is far more important than how often you cry in response to stresses and bad news.

The following list will help you decide how emotionally strong you are and where you need to work on yourself:

1) Emotionally strong people are less discouraged by setbacks and disappointments: they see each failure as an opportunity to learn and improvise over the last one. They compare themselves with themselves and define their own measures for failure and success. You could do an analysis of your strengths, limitations, opportunities and impediments in order to get over difficult situations. Geet, a student who didn’t get into his desired subject of IT, sat through 5 years of Law and did some extra courses in corporate law and worked towards fulfilling his dream of working in the Corporate. He felt confident, happy and satisfied with his efforts.

2) Emotionally strong people are more adaptable to change: they welcome and embrace changes in themselves and their environment simply because it brings newer opportunities and learning which can catapult them on their way to success. New boss, different stage of life, children going away are changes that will surely happen. Preparing for them in advance, can help people cope better with changes. When Surabhi got married, she took marital counselling to prepare for the differences that will crop up due to changes in the environment, thinking and attitudes of her inlaws family. She is a happy and successful wife and mother today.

3) Emotionally strong people are able to recognize and express their needs: ability to acknowledge and express your needs is being genuine to yourself and an expression of self care. People who are self aware move faster on the ladder of success as they are devoted and passionate towards their goals and needs. Taking care of your health and exercising along with a professional career makes for an emotionally strong person. You can become aware of your needs and values in counselling and experience contentment and power as you take charge of your life.

4) Emotionally strong people focus on getting around a hurdle rather than on the hurdle itself: focussing on the hurdle can be very emotionally draining and demotivating. Emotionally strong people invest their energies in working through a problem and looking for viable solutions, which ensures their victory over stresses and strains. If you have lost money in business, then working on your sales and marketing skills could get you better gains rather than feeling defeated. Counselling can help you look at problems objectively and from different perspectives. Get in touch with your problem solving skills and feel motivated and accomplished again.

5) Emotionally strong people can learn from mistakes and criticism: who hasn’t been subjected to criticism or made some mistakes? It’s human to err. Working towards excellence rather than perfection and looking for the golden piece of advice in the strong criticism helps emotionally strong people win over situations and important relationships. Sarita, an intelligent and smart woman ignored the critical remarks of her mother in law because she knew that there is a lot to learn from her. She knew which battles to fight and which ones to let go of.

6) Emotionally strong people tend to see the larger perspective in a challenging situation: They don’t get weighed down by smaller defeats when they have the larger picture in mind. An emotionally strong employee, Martin, who experienced office politics, kept his cool and focussed on his work.

7) Emotionally strong people are able to recover more quickly from emotional wounds such as failure or rejection: nobody can reject you unless you give them the permission. Seeing each failure as an opportunity to grow and learn helps. Staying with what you can do differently next time and having fall back plans helps to reduce the impact of failure. Thomas Edison didn’t get deterred by the number of times he could make his bulb glow. He kept looking at different permutations and combinations and kept learning from each mistake. Finally, his bulb glowed and now we all can benefit from the fruits of his hard labour.

If you don’t find yourself scoring high on this list, then there is no need to worry because in personal counselling, you can build emotional strength and capacity to bounce back by working on your mindset and learning more adaptable responses to stresses of daily living.

7 characteristics of emotionally strong people

Shankhpushpi is a perennial herb. It is considered to be one of the most wonderful gifts of nature to mankind. It is a type of morning glory that belongs to the Convolvulaceae plant family. Its scientific name is Convolvulus Pluricaulis. The flowers are blue, pink or white in color, and are about 2mm   5mm in size. They grow in rocky and sandy areas under xerophytic conditions and is mostly found in areas of Bihar and Punjab in India. It is also seen in the deserts of the Sahara.

Importance: Shankhpushpi is a very important herb of Ayurveda due to its therapeutic benefits. It mainly takes care of the nerves by supporting and promoting healthy brain and mind. It enhances brain power, improves memory and concentration and the ability to recall. When combined with other herbs, the formulation created is used for treating conditions, such as schizophrenia, depression, epilepsy and aggressive behavior disorders.

Parts Used: Shankhpushpi is often used as a paste, powder and tonic for different formulations. The parts that are used for these formulations are the leaves, flowers, stem, roots, seeds and ashes.

The Shankhpushpi plant has lots of health benefits 

Shankhpushpi syrup is very good for brain development of children. It is effective if children take it regularly for three months. It improves their memory, learning, grasping power and intelligence. It should be given to them along with Bramhi, Sharkara, Nimbu Satva and water
It rejuvenates the nervous function by promoting memory and concentration
It helps in relieving stress and has the ability to calm a mind
It supports the flow of blood in the brain
It treats fatigue, nervous debility and low energy level
A tonic made from Shankhpushpi works as a psychostimulant and tranquilizer
Shankhpushpi tonic is often used to treat hypotensive syndromes
It improves the balance and vitiation in kapha-vata-pitta doshas
It works as antioxidant and antacid
The herbal extract possesses spermatogenic properties, so it is used to treat cases of sperm debility
It can treat urinary system ailments
It is important to keep in mind that to get the best results, one has to use the best quality herbs in the right quantity. Shankhpushpi is a wonderful remedy for a number of problems, however, no herb should be taken without consulting an Ayurveda practitioner. In case of a concern or query consult an expert & get answers!

Shankhpushpi - 11 Most Important Reasons To Consume It!

Top 4 Ways You Can Increase Your Willpower

There are days when you wake up but you don’t want to move out of the bed. When your alarm goes off and you open your eyes feeling groggy and disoriented.Times when you accept defeat and stop moving towards what you want to achieve in life. These are just indicators of being low on motivation and lacking will power to chnage things. It’s more psychological than physical. Follow these simple tips, to come out of your cocoon and boost your willpower. 

Try these four ways to up your willpower.

1) Meditate - Meditation is the key to unleashing your powers, especially willpower. Practicing mindfulness, even for few minutes a day can help in boosting your willpower.

2) Exercise - The magic pill of exercise is another best way to boost your willpower. It is recommended that you exercise for 30 minutes, at least three times a week to ensure that you feel fitter, reduce your anxiety levels and boost your overall willpower to achieve bigger and better things in life.

3) Hold yourself accountable - That’s one of the best ways to boost your willpower. If you hold yourself accountable in your own life, if you know that those reasons of not getting out of the bed are mere excuses, then you would certainly increase your willpower.

4) Set Goals - One of the reasons why people experience a faltering in their will power is the fact that they don’t set their goals. Setting definitive targets is a must.You must ensure that the goal is set with measurable quantities, is specific, attainable, relevant and timely. All of this will certainly help you in enhancing your willpower.

If you have any further questions, ask me by clicking on 'consult'.

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Top 4 Ways You Can Increase Your Willpower

Anger is an ordinary and is an expressed reaction to an attack, perceived danger or fear. It has been very useful in our struggle for survival. The brain distinguishes the danger and the body is provoked and energized to respond with battle or fight. Once in a while, obviously, it gets out of hand. A few people, unmistakably, see dangers where there are none or where the risk is negligible. Their bodies get provoked improperly. They could use some assistance in understanding the signs that trigger their reactions and discover approaches to improve control.

Health problems: There are some individuals who encounter so much anger that they cannot control their drive to strike out at other people. This is isolated and separated from the issue of alcohol and medication misuse. It is imperative to recall that in case that you are a person who effectively gets angry and has outbursts, you can hurt your health.

Aerobics: Many of us are aware of the advantageous impacts that workout has on one s well-being and health. Various studies exhibit that every day exercise, particularly a program that includes aerobic exercise, can counteract or lessen feelings of anger or depression. Aerobic exercises, much like cardio activities, such as running, brisk walking, swimming and bike riding gets a person out of breath while expanding the pulse and heart rate.

Muscle relaxation: Muscle relaxation requires you to concentrate on straining and unwinding specific muscle groups in your body, so that it can divert you from your sentiments of anger. Moreover, it is great for mitigating nervousness and pressure, which can likewise ease angry emotions. This activity additionally attempts to help you rest when your emotions are running high. Concentrate on a specific muscle group, for example, the muscles in one hand. While breathing in profoundly and gradually, crush the muscles as hard as you can and keep up that pressure for five seconds. For instance, straining your hand muscles would include shaping a tight clench hand. Concentrate on that gathering of muscles and make an effort not to unintentionally tense the surrounding muscles.

30 minutes: There is a lot to be gained even from a 30 minute routine at the gym, in the recreation center or at home. If you have any sort of medical condition, or if you are not sure about the condition of your health, you must consult your doctor. When you get medicinal freedom for activities, it helps arranging and using a work out timetable of no less than thrice each week.

All things considered, you do not have anything to lose except excess weight, depression and now, perhaps even anger. Along these lines, in case that you need to better deal with your anger as it emerges, a great workout might be the correct approach.

How Workout is the Best Way to Get Over Your Anger?

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