Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

Do you believe that the world is a hostile place and you are a victim? Are you the one who often doubts his or her abilities? If so, you might be showing signs of low self-esteem. Interestingly, self-esteem has nothing do with your actual ability or talent. Your looks, weight or skills are not responsible for your low self esteem. It largely depends upon the fact that how you value yourself.

It has been observed in most cases that self-esteem is often affected by a number of reasons, including ill-health, unpleasant memories from the past, and termination of relationships. Low self-esteem is generally marked in survivors of physical or sexual abuse, victims of racial discrimination or people who have had a traumatic past life.

If you don t pay attention towards this issue, you might end up developing certain serious mental disorders. Low self-esteem is also the root cause behind the occurrence of mental disorders like borderline personality disorder, depression, etc. However, there is nothing to worry about it. There are certain simple things that are useful in building up your self-esteem.

Here s all that you need to do to start believing in yourself and be confident about your capabilities:

1. Remember your strong points: Make three separate lists of your strengths; achievements and your qualities that you admire. Take help from your friends, parents and other well-wishers for preparing these lists. These lists will help you in understanding your abilities and goodness. You will be able to believe in your strengths. You must read through these lists at least once daily.

2. Be positive: Optimism and a positive approach towards life are the key to success. Your self-esteem is influenced by the fact that how you look at life. Life is not a bed of roses. It is unavoidable that you will have to face critical situations or problems in life. But, what is important is to face them with courage and a faith in your own abilities. Be positive and stop developing negative thoughts about yourself. Get rid of thoughts like  I am a loser ;  I can t get rid of this problem ; etc.

3. Take care of your body: Your outward appearance sometimes works wonders in lifting up your inner-self and spirits. Keep yourself clean, trim your beard or hairs; cut your nails; don t forget to floss your teeth and maintain overall personal hygiene to develop a feeling of goodness.

4. Sleep well: A good night s sleep is essential for boosting up your self - esteem.

5. Eat right: A balanced diet is a key to good health. Eating the right food in the right way keeps your mental and physical health all right. Include minerals and vitamins in your regular meals. Avoid distractions like television or radio while taking meals.

6. Exercise: Regular workouts keep you away from mental-ill health.

7. Be cool and comfortable first: When it comes to your dressing, try to put on attires that you can carry well. Wear stuffs that you love the most.

How to Build your Self Esteem?

When you get a compliment'smart thinking or you are intelligent or that was intelligent of you, you definitely feel good. These comments fill us with confidence, admiration and pride and we want it to happen to us again and again. But owing to a busy schedule and long working hours it might not be possible. Having said this, it does not mean that a person cannot stay intelligent throughout. This can be easily achieved by regular meditation. Regular meditation and yoga helps the mind to be more reflective and efficient.

Here are reasons how yoga and meditation lead to an intellectual learning and growth:

 Utilizes the brain: almost everyone uses one half of their brain more and this leads to imbalance. Meditation is believed to sync the left and the right hemispheres, thereby allowing neural connection and great processing power. When logical left and creative right brains start working in harmony, then solving problems becomes easy; and it also increases creativity, deep thinking comes to be known of and concentration and focus magnifies. Highly successful people usually display whole brain synchronization.
 Functional capabilities of brain enhance due to meditation: research backs it that meditation increases the gray matter thickness of the brain regions, thus making the brain smarter, bigger and faster. This is very similar to doing physical exercise which makes the muscles denser and stronger. The increase in functional capabilities of brain is based on the concept of neuroplasticity, which states that our intelligence is not based on genetics and there are some things which can be done to improve the way our brain works. Meditation is a good brain enhancer with an ability to increase intelligence.
 Beneficial brainwave patterns can be seen: meditation can help to guide the brainwaves into beneficial frequencies. The frequencies: alpha, theta and delta when guided can show case a myriad of benefits including idea generation, creativity, cognitive functioning, and intellectual capacity. Meditation helps to transform these beneficial states of mind and help boost the iq.
 Develops intuition and insights: these are generally obtained through listening and developing to the inner voice. Thus meditation forms to be the basic key to tap these latent abilities. The intelligence can be mapped through tests and quizzes and is valuable at each level to stimulate insights and creativity. As per some people, inner intelligence, is considered to be the most important and best success in the world. Successful people including steve jobs have stated that their super revolutionary ideas and business acumen came through their intuition.
 Meditation helps in improving both short and long term memory: the key memory areas hippocampus and frontal lobe show increase in activity during meditation. By stimulating these areas, the short and long term memories are improved.

Can Yoga Improve Your IQ?

All parents expect their child to start going to school, learn writing and learning and do well in academics. However, children with dyslexia may not be able to progress at school at the same pace as others. The good news is that there are early pointers that can help a parent to identify dyslexia in the early stages. This can be helpful in training and support the child socially to learn and socialise normally.  Dyslexia is a disability that affects both spoken and written language. They have a different learning style and when supported and encouraged, instead of mocked and insulted, they can become avid readers. The following are common 10 indicators of developing dyslexia in children, in general, and at school.

10 Behavioural signs to watch for in general:

The child usually has difficulty concentrating and following instructions
The child is easily distracted, seems to daydream, and tends to forget words.
Poor personal organisation skills and is not very good at time keeping.
May get confused between today, tomorrow, yesterday; east and west; right and left; up and down.
Has difficulty remembering seasons, months and days.
Tends to be doing something to avoid work.
Seems distracted, and  daydream,  does not seem to listen
Requires a lot of effort focusing on things at hand and is constantly tired.
Slow pace of processing in terms of spoken or written language
Often appears withdrawn or lost in his own world.
10 Behaviours to watch for at school:

Poor standard of writing and written work in comparison with oratory skills.
Poor handwriting with badly formed letters.
Confused easily between similar looking letters like m/w, n/u, b/d.
Usually, messes up work by using close but wrong spellings and rewriting the same
Mixes up words by using similar-looking words   quiet and quite, tired and tried.
Same word is spelt differently at different times
Poor motor skills and pencil grip leading to slow, inaccurate writing
Produces a lot of phonetic spelling which does not change with repeated corrections
There is difficulty in blending words together, and struggles a lot when asked to read out loud, can miss out or add words that are familiar in between
Has difficulty connecting the story that is being written or read
As noted, these children have very inconsistent behaviour with very limited understanding of nonverbal communication. If these symptoms go on increasing as they grow, it is advisable to seek professional help so that support can be provided and the condition can be arrested at the early stages.

Dyslexia - 10 Signs Your Child Maybe Suffering From It!

Raising a child with dyslexia can stir up a lot of emotions. You may look ahead and wonder if this learning issue will affect your child's future. But dyslexia is not a prediction of failure. Dyslexia is quite common, and many successful individuals have dyslexia.

Research has proven that there are different ways of teaching that can help people with dyslexia succeed. There's a lot you can do as a parent too.

What are the symptoms of dyslexia?

Because dyslexia affects some people more severely than others, your child's symptoms may look different from those in another child. Some kids with dyslexia have trouble with reading and spelling. Others may struggle to write or to tell left from right.

Dyslexia can also make it difficult for people to express themselves clearly. It can be hard for them to structure their thoughts during conversation. They may have trouble finding the right words to say.

Others struggle to understand what they're hearing. This is especially true when someone uses nonliteral language such as jokes and sarcasm.

The signs you see may also look different at various ages. Some of the warning signs for dyslexia, such as a speech delay, appear before a child reaches kindergarten. More often, though, dyslexia is identified in grade school. As schoolwork gets more demanding, trouble processing language becomes more apparent.

Here are some signs to look out for:

Warning Signs in Preschool or Kindergarten

Has trouble recognizing the letters of the alphabet

Struggles to match letters to sounds, such as not knowing what sounds b or h make

Has difficulty blending sounds into words, such as connecting C-H-A-T to the word chat

Struggles to pronounce words correctly, such as saying 'mawn lower' instead of 'lawn mower'

Has difficulty learning new words

Has a smaller vocabulary than other kids the same age

Has trouble learning to count or say the days of the week and other common word sequences

Has trouble rhyming

Warning Signs in Grade School or Middle School

Struggles with reading and spelling

Confuses the order of letters, such as writing 'left' instead of 'felt'

Has trouble remembering facts and numbers

Has difficulty gripping a pencil

Has difficulty using proper grammar

Has trouble learning new skills and relies heavily on memorization

Gets tripped up by word problems in math

Has a tough time sounding out unfamiliar words

Has trouble following a sequence of directions

Warning Signs in High School

Struggles with reading out loud

Doesn't read at the expected grade level

Has trouble understanding jokes or idioms

Has difficulty organizing and managing time

Struggles to summarize a story

Has difficulty learning a foreign language

Skills that are affected by Dyslexia-

Dyslexia doesn't just affect reading and writing. Here are some everyday skills and activities your child may be struggling with because of this learning issue:

General

Appears bright, highly intelligent, and articulate but unable to read, write, or spell at grade level.

Labelled lazy, dumb, careless, immature, "not trying hard enough," or "behavior problem."

Isn't "behind enough" or "bad enough" to be helped in the school setting.

High in IQ, yet may not test well academically; tests well orally, but not written.

Feels dumb; has poor self-esteem; hides or covers up weaknesses with ingenious compensatory strategies; easily frustrated and emotional about school reading or testing.

Talented in art, drama, music, sports, mechanics, story-telling, sales, business, designing, building, or engineering.

Seems to "Zone out" or daydream often; gets lost easily or loses track of time.

Difficulty sustaining attention; seems "hyper" or "daydreamer."

Learns best through hands-on experience, demonstrations, experimentation, observation, and visual aids.

Vision, Reading, and Spelling Skills

Complains of dizziness, headaches or stomach aches while reading.

Confused by letters, numbers, words, sequences, or verbal explanations.

Reading or writing shows repetitions, additions, transpositions, omissions, substitutions, and reversals in letters, numbers and/or words.

Complains of feeling or seeing non-existent movement while reading, writing, or copying.

Seems to have difficulty with vision, yet eye exams don't reveal a problem.

Extremely keen sighted and observant, or lacks depth perception and peripheral vision.

Reads and rereads with little comprehension.

Spells phonetically and inconsistently.

Hearing and Speech Skills

Has extended hearing; hears things not said or apparent to others; easily distracted by sounds.

Difficulty putting thoughts into words; speaks in halting phrases; leaves sentences incomplete; stutters under stress; mispronounces long words, or transposes phrases, words, and syllables when speaking.

Writing and Motor Skills

Trouble with writing or copying; pencil grip is unusual; handwriting varies or is illegible.

Clumsy, uncoordinated, poor at ball or team sports; difficulties with fine and/or gross motor skills and tasks; prone to motion-sickness.

Can be ambidextrous, and often confuses left/right, over/under.

Math and Time Management Skills

Has difficulty telling time, managing time, learning sequenced information or tasks, or being on time.

Computing math shows dependence on finger counting and other tricks; knows answers, but can't do it on paper.

Can count, but has difficulty counting objects and dealing with money.

Can do arithmetic, but fails word problems; cannot grasp algebra or higher math.

Memory and Cognition

Excellent long-term memory for experiences, locations, and faces.

Poor memory for sequences, facts and information that has not been experienced.

Thinks primarily with images and feeling, not sounds or words (little internal dialogue).

Behavior, Health, Development and Personality

Extremely disorderly or compulsively orderly.

Can be class clown, trouble-maker, or too quiet.

Had unusually early or late developmental stages (talking, crawling, walking, tying shoes).

Prone to ear infections; sensitive to foods, additives, and chemical products.

Can be an extra deep or light sleeper; bedwetting beyond appropriate age.

Unusually high or low tolerance for pain.

Strong sense of justice; emotionally sensitive; strives for perfection.

What can be done at home for dyslexia?

Helping your child with dyslexia can be a challenge, particularly if you're never been confident in your own reading and writing skills. But you don't have to be an expert to help work on certain skills or strengthen your child's self-esteem.

Keep in mind that kids (and families) are all different, so not all options will work for you. Don't panic if the first strategies you try aren't effective. You may need to try several approaches to find what works best for your child. Here are some things you can try at home:

Read out loud every day

Tap into your child's interests

Use audiobooks

Look for apps and other high-tech help

Focus on effort, not outcome

Make your home reader-friendly

Boost confidence

What can make the journey easier?

Dyslexia can present challenges for your child and for you. But with the proper support, almost all people with dyslexia can become accurate readers. Your involvement will help tremendously.

Wherever you are in your journey, whether you're just starting out or are well on your way, this site can help you find more ways to support your child. Here are a few things that can help make the journey easier:

Connect with other parents. Remember that you're not alone. Use our safe online community to find parents like you.

Get behavior advice. Parenting Coach offers expert-approved strategies on a variety of issues that can affect children with dyslexia, including trouble with time management, anxiety and fear, frustration and low self-esteem.

Build a support plan. Come up with a game plan and anticipate what lies ahead.

Understanding dyslexia and looking for ways to help your child is an important first step. There's a lot you can do just don't feel you have to do everything all at once. Pace yourself. If you try a bunch of strategies at the same time, it might be hard to figure out which ones are working. And do your best to stay positive. Your love and support can make a big difference in your child's life.

9 Dyslexia Signs & Symptoms - Your Kid is Suffering from it!

Smartphone Addiction is a Sign of Depression

There are some people who just never seem to get off the phone. They would be looking at their phones all the time, messaging, using social networking sites or simply clicking their pictures or playing games. A study suggests that addiction to the smartphone is linked to and serves as a sign of depression.

The study reveals that individuals who have been diagnosed with some form or degree of depression tend to use their phones more. In fact, smartphone addiction is correlated to clinical depression. So, if your teenage son or daughter or someone you know have been using their phones too often, then this might be a red signal towards depression.

Smartphone addiction can be seen as a compulsive behavior and is typically noticed among depressed people. At the same time, it can result in depression as well. People who are prone to developing depression symptoms may also use their phone more often. Their excessive usage and smartphone addiction may actually make them irritable and sad, looking at photos of others, noticing other people’s lives may make them feel that their lives aren’t perfect. This can in turn lead to feelings of extreme sadness, cause depression or even suicidal thoughts.

So, make sure that you keep a tab of how often people use smartphone in your family. If you suspect behavioral changes with smartphone addiction, consider getting a consultation with a psychologist or counsellor.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Your Addiction To Smart Phone Reveals Something Shocking About You!

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