Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding and not a binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on how you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And, failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticise and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn't! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don't happen your way but have you tried to 'express' your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships results in frustration, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the 'progress' in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not up to it. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A 'No' from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don't want to do that right now! Feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you're taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C's : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using 'I feel' statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you're taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Have an open mind. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that...) 'Gunnysacking; (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in 'Summarizing self-syndrome' where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other's perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on 'Catastrophizing' i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
Get rid of 'Stereotyping'; (generalizing - all men are like..) and 'Gunnysacking' (cropping up issues from the past having no relevance to current problem).
Don't send double messages- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it is open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner's perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to well-being as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

Are You Happily (n)Ever After?

Paranoid personality disorder (ppd) is a mental disorder which makes you feel fearful, nervous and suspicious about people or situations around. This disease usually starts to show its signs from early adulthood and is more common in men than women. People suffering from this disorder are unable to maintain close and long lasting relationships with people as they have the habit of blaming and not trusting other people. The most common symptoms of this disorder are:


	Doubting the loyalty of others
	Fear of revealing their own personal information
	A tendency of holding long lasting grudges
	Inability to handle criticisms
	Abrupt instances of anger and instant reaction
	Showing traits of coldness in a relationship
	Having a feeling of always being right
	Having problems in relaxing
	Being stubborn, argumentative and hostile



	Causes: the exact cause behind pdd is still unknown, but according to some medical researchers it happens due to a combination of biological and psychological conditions. Additionally, bad emotional experiences during childhood and having gone through a physical or mental trauma also leads to the development of the disease.
	Diagnosis:&nbsp;this condition cannot be diagnosed at home and is usually diagnosed by a specialist. The first step taken by a doctor in order to diagnose the disorder is an examination of the medical and psychiatric history of the person. Additionally, if the health records of a person do not indicate anything, then the doctors usually go for some expert opinions by a psychiatrist.
	Treatment:&nbsp;most of the people suffering from this disease are not even aware about it, until someone brings it to their notice. Doctors usually believe that psychotherapy, which is a form of counseling, is the best way to treat pdd.



All About Paranoid Personality Disorder

There are few things I hear over and over again from students:

How they are studying for so many in a day
How they do not have even time for anything else in their life due to study pressure
How they are sleep deprived
How much they are stressed
And finally, afterall the sacrifices and hard work, their exam performance is not what they expect.
Here are few tips to study smart, improve your grades and yet have a life!
We all know that 2 hours of focused study will be much more productive than 4 hours of distracted study. And, the good news is that concentration is a mental skill that you can develop and improve. There are two ways to improve your concentration:

First, work on raising your brain's natural ability to concentrate or in other words, learn to increase your attention span.
Second, adjust the environment around you to make concentrating easier.
Improving your concentration takes a little time and effort, but it is worth it. In my personal experience with students, I have seen noticeable improvement in relatively short time.

A. Ideas for daily concentration boosting habits include

Mindfulness meditation: Many studies confirm that 20 minutes of meditation or more per day improves concentration and attention span. Mindfulness meditation, where one focuses on one's breathing,  is one of the simplest way of meditation. Start with ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes before bed. To begin with you may try a guided meditation. One can easily find audios for guided meditation online.
Proper sleep: I am sorry to say this. Pulling all nighters will not help with your grade. Unless you are getting sufficient restful sleep, you are not going to be as mentally focused as you could be to study as well as answer questions in exams.
Food for your Brain: The more you use certain skills, the more they are reinforced in the brain. So it makes sense that playing concentration games and games that require you to focus will improve your concentration ability. You need to be consistent in this. Play for about 10 to 20 minutes each day. Have fun, and get the benefits but remember not to spend more than 20 minutes a day. Your goal is to improve your concentration and not just keep scoring higher in the game! Try Lumosity and use only free version this will help you restrict your daily play time to 20 minutes and have maximum benefit.
Eat healthier: Your brain needs the proper nutrients to allow you to focus. Eat more vegetables and fruits and avoid consumption of junk food as much as possible. Instead, you could keep some nuts such as walnuts, almond or peanuts as in between munches. Lot of research has now proven that sugar is very harmful for our health. Reduce sugar and refined white flour in your diet as much as you could.  
Exercise: It is helpful in both reducing stress and increasing energy and focus. At least 20 minutes a day would go a long way. Going for a short jog of 20 minutes will make next 4 to 5 hours of study very efficient.
B. Optimize your mental state & environment

In addition to building the habits described above into your daily routine; also adjust your environment and your current mental state to improve your concentration when studying.

Create a study space: Your brain loves routine. Create a place where all you do is study. An obvious choice is a secluded desk of some kind, but the trick is to make sure you only study in that spot. Studying in bed is a bad habit, for example, because your body is trained to want to sleep once you get into bed.
Remove distractions: Turn off the ringer on your phone and take other steps to prevent interruptions. Don't study with the television on or with radio playing. Some studies have shown that soft instrumental music (no vocals) can help improve your concentration.
Reduce background noises: If you have to study or work in an environment where it is too loud (classroom or open space) or too quiet (such as at home or at a library) you can get easily distracted by outside influences. With the right amount of background noise you can actually block out distractions and enhance your creative thinking.
Use timer: Set a time limit when you need to study new material. For example, let's say you want to read one chapter in a book (and remember it). Decide in advance that you can have 45 minutes to read the chapter, and 15 minutes to review it. Set a timer to keep yourself honest, then pace yourself to keep within the allotted time.
Stay motivated: If you see studying as burden, it's hard to concentrate. One way to stay motivated is to set up a reward system. Tell yourself you have to earn that hour of watching your favorite show later in the evening by first completing 2-3 hours of intense studying. That way, even if the material is dry, you have the reward to look forward to.
Take breaks: Take a break every two hours. Your mental energy will begin to decline after a long period of study. So every two hours or so, take a ten-minutes break. Walk around, eat a light snack, or just stare at the wall to relax your mind.
Concentrating is the first step to learning anything new. It only makes sense that if you improve your concentration, your memory will improve also.

How an expert can help?
If you want to get individualized expert opinion about how you are studying currently and what ways you can improve; you can always consult the expert. Once he/she knows what your current study methods are, they will be able to give you specific tips to improve upon. Most likely once you incorporate those tips you will be spending less time studying and your grades will improve. That's what is studying smarter and not harder means!!

Ways to Study Smarter   Not Harder!

As per medical studies, bipolar disorder is a personality disorder that is said to affect millions of people around the world, as per medical studies. Extreme mood swings that take a person from a state of euphoria to depression can be called bipolar disorder. While we all go through phases of the same, the patients who suffer from this disorder will usually show a persistent swing or shift between varying moods. The severe shifts will lead to difficulties when it comes to managing one's everyday affairs in a normal manner. The symptoms and signs are also characterised by the phases and mood swings that the patient may be going through. 
Read on to know more about the signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder.

1. Mania: One of the extremes in mood swings experienced by the patient includes extreme euphoria or mania for no apparent, or life altering reason. Feeling overly happy and enthusiastic are the basic symptoms of this phase.

2. Impulsive: The patient can end up feeling elated for a prolonged period of time, with extreme restlessness and impulsive behaviour. They may also end up getting agitated and edgy. This is usually characterised by fidgety behaviour and when the patient speaks too fast. The patient may speak too fast due to racing thoughts which overtake his or her speech and actions.

3. Confidence: In this stage, the patient may also display extraordinary confidence, which may not necessarily be backed by reality. In reality, things may be very different in terms of opportunities, skills, people and other such factors. During this mania phase, the patient may also indulge in risky behaviour that gives an adrenaline rush like gambling and having sexual intercourse with multiple partners. This usually happens when the patient is bolstered by a sudden surge of unfounded confidence.

4. Depression: This is the other end of the spectrum for these patients. When the mania abates, it gives to way to extreme depression and even anxiety.

5. Withdrawal: The patient usually tends to isolate himself or herself from the rest of the family and social circle for a prolonged period, refusing to meet anyone on a normal basis. They also avoid contact with people whom they meet every day, which can have an adverse effect on their work and the rest of the aspects of their lives.

6. Memory and Concentration: In this phase, the patient can also experience difficulty in remembering important things and concentrating on tasks. The patient may also be preoccupied with a number of things which can prevent him or her from making proper decisions. Slow speech and lack of energy may follow as a result of such preoccupation. Preoccupation with death is a common symptom of this phase.

Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder

6 Bodily Pains You Must Never Ignore

Any pain in the body is an indication and demands attention. Some pains go away by themselves or by home treatment, while few need medical attention. 

Here are 6 types of pains which should never be ignored.

Chest Pain - Chest pain that doesn't go away and is accompanied by shortness of breath can prove to be fatal if not treated at the earliest. Do not wait for it to subside, nor should you try self medication. Consult the doctor immediately.
Abdominal Pain - While abdominal pain could be because of various smaller reasons, if it is unbearable, consult a doctor at the earliest. This pain could be because of ruptured appendix, stomach ulcer, problems in your pancreas or gallbladder or even intestinal blockages.
Severe Headache - Normally we tend to take headaches lightly, believing that all we need to do is pop a medicine or rest it out. However, if the pain is excruciating, consult the doctor as soon as possible.
Prolonged Backache - If you are experiencing pain in the back with tingling in your toes, this could be associated with your discs. Give it medical attention at the earliest, as it could turn fatal.
Lower Abdomen  - Appendicitis' indicator is sharp pain on the side. If you feel a sharp pain in your lower abdomen on the right side along with symptoms like nausea, vomiting, fever, shaking, constipation and diarrhea, reach out for medical assistance as soon as possible.
Leg Pain - Yet another pain one should not ignore is deep vein thrombosis which is blood clots in the legs? deep veins.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

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6 Bodily Pains You Must Never Ever Ignore

Obsessive compulsive disorder is a condition, which is characterized by a constant occurrence of compulsive behavior and obsessive thoughts. People across all ages are affected by this condition; in some cases, it might start early whereas, in others, it develops around the early years of childhood. This is a very distressing condition as it can cause significant interference in your daily life. It is recommended to get it treated at the earliest to manage its symptoms effectively.

Symptoms

Obsessive compulsive disorder causes an obsession about an unwanted (forbidden or unfounded) thought, urge or an image. This obsession may result in disgust, unease and feelings of anxiety. A compulsion is defined as a certain behavior that is usually repetitive, something that you tend to do over and over again to get rid of the constant anxiety. An example would be to constantly check the windows of the house resulting from an uncorroborated fear that the house may be burgled.

The causes of obsessive compulsive disorder are:

Chemical imbalances in the brain marked by low serotonin levels
Family history of OCD
People who are meticulous, neat and methodical might develop OCD
Certain traumatic events such as having been bullied or abused can also cause OCD
Treatment

There are multiple treatment options. The aim of the treatments is to manage the symptoms and improve the quality of life. The treatments are:

Medications: Certain antidepressants that alter the chemical imbalance in the brain can treat OCD.
Psychological therapy: Counselling or cognitive behavioral therapy is very effective in treating OCD. Cognitive behavioral therapy aims to modify one s thinking pattern and get rid of unnecessary fears and thoughts.

Fear of Dirt or Contamination - Can it be a Sign of OCD?

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