Contraception is not only restricted to married couples in today's world. Most of the young couples refrain from seeking medical advice for contraception may be because of social concerns or simply because they feel hesitant and shy.

There are many contraceptive pills available over the counter which youngsters are tempted to buy and use as it seems to be the easy way out. Frequent and improper use of such emergency pills can lead to a lot of hormonal disturbances and the menstrual cycle goes topsy turvy. Then the dilemma starts. As it becomes difficult to interpret the cycle dates and erratic bleeding which happens is disturbing.

In my practice I have seen many young girls popping in pills randomly every now and then. Sometimes at weekly intervals as they are unable to manage the stress of their relationship getting disturbed. What youngsters should try and understand is there is nothing wrong in having pills for contraception but it should be done with proper guidance and the selection of the right pill for that particular individual is important which can be done easily by getting into consultation with a doctor. Need not necessarily be a gynecologist always.

Emergency pills are ok for once in a blue moon kind of use. But it should not become a habit.


Misuse Of Emergency Contraceptive Pills

When a person is aroused there are a host of hormonal changes within the person's body. These changes do manifest on the surface in the form of certain physical variations. Sexual stimulation happens to alter the state of human genitalia and that too in obvious ways. The blood flow to the concerned area increases, there is enough of natural lubrication in and around the organ and for women, the vagina loosens up and the clitoris swells. Intercourse followed by a climactic release will make the clitoris regain its original size. However, worries crop up when that is not the case with every single female. This serious medical condition of a swollen clitoris should never be overlooked; it must be treated by seeking experienced medical assistance.	 

1. Trauma: Any slight scratch or one wrong touch can cause a swollen clitoris. Even a scratch of your fingernail while you are masturbating or a rough sexual intercourse can and is enough to create trauma in your clitoris.

2. Hair: Hair grows normally around your genital area. It is very common for a woman to have pubic hair. But sometimes small hair splinters lead to trouble and hair gets stuck into your clitoris and causes swelling. This is a very annoying process, sometimes you may have to use a magnifying glass to remove the hair from your clitoris.

3. Clothing: sometimes your tight clothes can result in a swollen clitoris. The friction from your rough clothing material can cause your clitoris to swell. Sometimes you may be using a detergent that is not suitable for you or you may be wearing a dress material, which you're allergic to. You should always wash your clothes in plain water and dry it before using.

4. Infection: you may also have some bacterial and fungal infection in your clitoris, which can cause a swollen clitoris. This infection can also invite itchiness and redness and these can make it even worse. If it doesn't subside within some days then you should definitely see a doctor.

5. Cysts: small cysts known as Bartholomew's cysts can grow on the clitoris. This thing hampers the natural lubrication of the body.  If you are having clitoris swelling because of cysts then you should seek medical attention immediately.

Your clitoris is naturally sensitive and if you are having a swollen clitoris after intercourse then you should pull back from sexual intercourse for a few days. At times the swelling goes away on its own.

Swollen Clitoris - 5 Main Reason Behind Enlarged Clitoral  

Knowing premature ejaculation - part 3: management and techniques (non-medical methods)

As shared in part 1and 2 of this series, because of premature ejaculation (pe), both the partners may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 
Remember there is not a single magical drug or medicine in the chemist shop which can solve your problem overnight especially if you have chronic pe. Before seeking any medical treatment for pe, it is appropriate to consider the varied options for solving this issue. These include counseling with a sexual therapist, non- medical treatments like various exercises/ techniques and medical treatments including both modern and alternative medicine.

A. Counseling from an expert - sexual therapist or sexual medicine practitioner:
It is well understood that sex is in the mind. However, repeated pe/ failures can lead to lot of stress and disappointments. Anxiety due to pe itself is a big issue and can lead to recurrence of pe.
Reassurance from sexual therapist / counselor that pe is not a disease and can be easily treatable is relaxing for men who are facing this problem. So please share your detailed history and sexual habits with the expert. This may help the expert to guide you well.

B. Behavioral changes:

Some basic things may also help you to deal with the problem. 

1. Some men attempt to treat themselves for premature ejaculation by distracting themselves by thinking nonsexual thoughts (such as naming cricket players and records) to avoid getting excited too fast when approaching their partners. This helps them to focus their attention away from the sexual stimulation.

2. It is also suggested to men that they should relieve themselves of the sexual tension by ejaculating with self masturbation 1-2 hours before attempting sexual intercourse with their partner.

3. Using condoms is known to help in premature ejaculation in some men by decreasing sensation.

4. Women on top position usually helps to delay orgasm in men

 
C. Exercises &amp; techniques:

There are several exercise and techniques you can try sitting in your home.

1. The" stop and start" method:
This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self until he feels like he is about to reach orgasm. Then he needs to stop the stimulation for about 20-30 seconds and then start it again. Repeat this pattern until the man wants to ejaculate. This can be continued for 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
2. The" squeeze" method:
 This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self or by his partner until he recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the penis (where the glans penis meets the shaft) for at least 15 seconds. Stop sexual stimulation for about 60 seconds, and then start it again. The person or couple may repeat this pattern for at least 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
3. Practice breathing exercises 

Deep breathing can greatly help in controlling the arousal and tension that cause early ejaculation. Men must avoid shallow breathing as it can trigger premature ejaculation. Instead, what you should do is spend 5 seconds taking in a long deep breath; then hold it for 3 seconds and then exhale for the next 5 seconds. If you can do this for 5 minutes in the bedroom without pause then you can control premature ejaculation.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.

Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 3: Management and Techniques (Non-medical methods)

3 handy tips to eliminate stress from your sex life

Stress plays a significant role in creating rifts in relationships as it mostly forbids partners from meeting each other?s physical and emotional needs. This reduces intimacy in a relationship and results in an unhappy sex life. In the modern world of continuous work pressure and fast paced lifestyle, stress generally takes away all the energy required to enjoy a fulfilling sex life. Here are some tips, which will prove to be very effective in keeping stress away from your sex life.

1. Don?t make it seem necessary to have sex even if your partner is tired

If you find that stress due to problems at workplace or financial issues is affecting your partner considerably, then respect his/her decision of saying no to sex. Don?t pressurise your partner to get intimate just because you want it. Your patience and understanding nature will increase your partner?s admiration towards you, in turn leading to a more passionate and happier sex life.

2. Try to stay away from performance anxiety

Don?t let performance anxiety take a toll on your sex life. Studies show that being conscious about their performance in bed leads men to lose their erection, which takes all the pleasure away from intimate moments. Instead of being stressed about your sexual performance, focus on your partner?s needs and attend to them for a more pleasurable sex life.

3. Focus on getting rid of other stressful issues from your life

Common tensions of your daily life and everyday issues like the normal household chores, and your duties and responsibilities towards your family often leave you too exhausted to spend time with your partner. Moreover, getting preoccupied with social commitments also minimises the time available for just the two of you.

To prevent these stressful situations from affecting your sex life, try to focus on removing them. For this, you can ask for help from other family members to carry out household chores or diminish your time at social gatherings to be available for each other exclusively. Spending more time in each other?s company will not only brighten your day, but will also give you an enhanced and more intimate relationship.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.


How to Eliminate STRESS From Your SEX Life

There is hardly any person who does not want to enjoy a healthy and satisfying sex life. As per Ayurveda, a healthy sex life is very much a reality provided one diligently follows the golden sex rules as mentioned in various Ayurvedic books and journals:

Ayurveda believes that a couple should refrain from having sex when the female partner is having her periods. Some health experts are of the belief that sex during periods may give rise to a condition termed as Endometriosis (the endometrial cells grow outside the uterus, often in the ovary or the fallopian tubes).
According to Ayurveda, an ideal sex position is one where the woman is lying with her face directed in an upward position.
Ayurveda also believes very overweight or obese people should avoid having sex.
Have sex only when your private parts are clean and healthy (as this helps to prevent infections and associated complications).
According to Ayurveda, loyalty and faithfulness are what gets a relationship going. Infidelity, adultery, or cheating on your wife is a crime that will only spell doom.
Ayurveda is against a couple having sex during pregnancy or immediately after delivery. One should have control over their urges. It further states that a 5-months time in the case of a C-section and 2-3 months interval in the case of a normal delivery will go a long way in ensuring a healthy sex life (will help the woman to recover well).
Ayurveda is vehemently opposes violent sex. Making love is suppose to soothe your soul rather than scar it. Violence during sex is not healthy at all.
Ayurveda believes in having sex using sexual organs. Thus, oral sex and other similar pleasures are a big No as per Ayurveda.
Ayurveda does not advocate the practice of having sex on days of prime significance such as festivals, various eclipses, on a full moon or new moon nights, to name a few.
Sex on empty stomach or after a heavy meal can trigger a plethora of health problems by causing a Vata and Pitta imbalance. The imbalance may give rise to digestive problems, headache, gastritis.
Ayurveda is strictly against the idea of having sex with aged women or with children.
Always have sex when both the partners are in a comfortable position. This is to ensure that you enjoy the intercourse sans any injury.
Never have sex if you are sick or physically and mentally not fit.
Having sex with animals (bestiality) is considered unhealthy as per Ayurveda.
Sex is not a wise idea when you have to lighten yourself (defecate or urinate).
According to Ayurveda, your sex life is governed by the four seasons during which your body strength changes.
The body strength is the lowest during the monsoon and summer, hence have less sex during that time (once in fifteen days).
With moderate body strength, sex once in three days is advisable during spring and summer.
During winter the body strength is at its peak, hence one can have sex daily.

Golden Sex Rules Of Ayurveda!

5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

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