
7 CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTIONALLY STRONG PEOPLE

Emotionally strong people are better able to manage the stresses and distresses of daily life, and recover more quickly from challenges and crises when they arise. Is your emotional engine strong enough to take you through the ups and downs of life? Are you riding a bullock cart which can topple over anytime you pass through a broken road or are you driving a four wheel, all terrain vehicle, which will ensure you a safe trip through all the rocky terrains of your life?

A common cultural belief is that people who don’t cry and are unemotional, detached are the emotionally strong ones...and the ones who cry easily and exhibit emotional turmoil are the weaker ones. Well, this is just a myth and not an accurate indicator of one’s mental and emotional strength. A person’s internal coping mechanism will determine how strong he/she is emotionally and deal with challenges and bounce back from them. For eg. Two investors invest in a startup company and watch it fail after 5 years of hard work...one cries copious tears and falls apart, the other controls his emotions but feels defeated. Both were not emotionally strong as they couldn’t sustain the pressure and crumbled. It would have been fine if they felt sad and worried over the loss of time, resources and money and then bounced back with fresh ideas and renewed energy, which would have shown their capability to bounce back from difficult situations.

Unfortunately, too many of us judge ourselves incorrectly in exactly such moments. If we react emotionally or tearfully to emotionally challenging situations we scold ourselves for being weak, even when we have every intention of persisting and moving forward and even when we believe we will eventually succeed. Tears are usually a sign of frustration and disappointment, not defeat. What you believe about your future chances of success and how discouraged you feel in the long term is far more important than how often you cry in response to stresses and bad news.

The following list will help you decide how emotionally strong you are and where you need to work on yourself:

1) Emotionally strong people are less discouraged by setbacks and disappointments: they see each failure as an opportunity to learn and improvise over the last one. They compare themselves with themselves and define their own measures for failure and success. You could do an analysis of your strengths, limitations, opportunities and impediments in order to get over difficult situations. Geet, a student who didn’t get into his desired subject of IT, sat through 5 years of Law and did some extra courses in corporate law and worked towards fulfilling his dream of working in the Corporate. He felt confident, happy and satisfied with his efforts.

2) Emotionally strong people are more adaptable to change: they welcome and embrace changes in themselves and their environment simply because it brings newer opportunities and learning which can catapult them on their way to success. New boss, different stage of life, children going away are changes that will surely happen. Preparing for them in advance, can help people cope better with changes. When Surabhi got married, she took marital counselling to prepare for the differences that will crop up due to changes in the environment, thinking and attitudes of her inlaws family. She is a happy and successful wife and mother today.

3) Emotionally strong people are able to recognize and express their needs: ability to acknowledge and express your needs is being genuine to yourself and an expression of self care. People who are self aware move faster on the ladder of success as they are devoted and passionate towards their goals and needs. Taking care of your health and exercising along with a professional career makes for an emotionally strong person. You can become aware of your needs and values in counselling and experience contentment and power as you take charge of your life.

4) Emotionally strong people focus on getting around a hurdle rather than on the hurdle itself: focussing on the hurdle can be very emotionally draining and demotivating. Emotionally strong people invest their energies in working through a problem and looking for viable solutions, which ensures their victory over stresses and strains. If you have lost money in business, then working on your sales and marketing skills could get you better gains rather than feeling defeated. Counselling can help you look at problems objectively and from different perspectives. Get in touch with your problem solving skills and feel motivated and accomplished again.

5) Emotionally strong people can learn from mistakes and criticism: who hasn’t been subjected to criticism or made some mistakes? It’s human to err. Working towards excellence rather than perfection and looking for the golden piece of advice in the strong criticism helps emotionally strong people win over situations and important relationships. Sarita, an intelligent and smart woman ignored the critical remarks of her mother in law because she knew that there is a lot to learn from her. She knew which battles to fight and which ones to let go of.

6) Emotionally strong people tend to see the larger perspective in a challenging situation: They don’t get weighed down by smaller defeats when they have the larger picture in mind. An emotionally strong employee, Martin, who experienced office politics, kept his cool and focussed on his work.

7) Emotionally strong people are able to recover more quickly from emotional wounds such as failure or rejection: nobody can reject you unless you give them the permission. Seeing each failure as an opportunity to grow and learn helps. Staying with what you can do differently next time and having fall back plans helps to reduce the impact of failure. Thomas Edison didn’t get deterred by the number of times he could make his bulb glow. He kept looking at different permutations and combinations and kept learning from each mistake. Finally, his bulb glowed and now we all can benefit from the fruits of his hard labour.

If you don’t find yourself scoring high on this list, then there is no need to worry because in personal counselling, you can build emotional strength and capacity to bounce back by working on your mindset and learning more adaptable responses to stresses of daily living.

7 characteristics of emotionally strong people

Depression, or major depressive disorder, is a mental health condition marked by an extended sense of sadness and despair that affects how a person thinks, feels and functions. It affects the way you think and brings about changes in your physical and emotional self. In severe cases, depression makes it extremely difficult for you in carrying out your daily activities. Yes, the condition may significantly interfere with a person's daily life and may prompt thoughts of suicide. There is no instant cure for this disorder; rather it requires a more long term approach to treat this disease.
Symptoms-
The symptoms of depression are:
Feeling of emptiness and sadness.
Violent outbursts of anger.
Disturbances in sleep patterns, resulting in insomnia in few cases.
Constant tiredness and fatigue.
Constantly agitated and anxious.
Drastic changes in your appetite (usually appetite decreases).
Physical problems such as headache and back pain.
Constant feeling of worthlessness and guilt.
Recurrent thoughts of suicide and violence.
Causes-
Although scientists agree that depression is a brain disorder, the debate continues about exact causes. Many factors may contribute to the onset of depression, including genetic characteristics, changes in hormone levels, certain medical illnesses, stress, grief, or substance abuse. Any of these factors alone or in combination can bring about the specific changes in brain chemistry that lead to the many symptoms of depression, bipolar disorder and related conditions.
Treatments-
Psychological counselling and medications are the preferred treatment alternatives for depression. The medications that are used to treat depression are antidepressants and serotonin reuptake inhibitors. It is important to consult a psychologist before opting for any treatment procedure. The doctor will carry out a thorough diagnosis and then prescribe treatment accordingly.
Psychotherapy is another treatment process that is used to treat depression; this involves you talking about your condition to a doctor. It can help you find better and feasible ways to find solutions to problems and set realistic goals in life.
Electroconvulsive therapy is another mode of treatment that uses electric currents to modify the functioning of the neurotransmitters.


Symptoms and Treatments of Depression

You Need to Read This To Stay Away From Depression!

Depression robs people of their energy, ability to focus and pleasure. It makes them lose the joy of doing anything. In advanced cases, people may also lose their will to live. Depression is caused by factors that are mostly psychological, although a few can be physical. Certain habits and ways of living also lead to depression.

Here are few habits you must avoid.

1) Lack of Exercise: Being inactive affects your state of mind and can lead to a feeling of being depressed. If you are inactive, you also become lazy or tend to eat more, due to lack of anything better to do. This may be even more depressing.

SOLUTION: Exercise ensures your physical and mental well-being. Whenever you feel depressed, remember to exercise. Even a 20 minute brisk walking makes your brain produce the 'feel-good' chemicals, which keeps you active and in high spirits. If this not possible then just use the stairs instead of the lift, or take a few rounds of your block at whatever pace you can do. Remember to be regular in your efforts.

2) Improper Diet: Eating foods regularly which are loaded with hydrogenated fats, refined sugars and processed foods increase blood sugar levels suddenly and then dip suddenly. Our bodies and minds become lethargic with such foods. These chemicals affect the limbic brain( emotional centre) directly, making us feel blue, irritated and fatigued.

SOLUTION: Eating healthy is not only good for your body but also your brain. Food stuffs that contain omega-3 fats are referred to as brain foods and lack of such foods makes you vulnerable to depression. Eat crap and you feel like crap! Since our bodies cannot manufacture omega-3 fats, it has to be sourced from foods such as coldwater fish and seafood. Eating whole grains, fibre, vegetables, fruits rich in carbs and plenty of water Eat healthy for a healthy mind.

3) Poor Sleeping Habits and Stress: If you constantly deprive yourself of sleep or oversleep, you create a situation that risks depression. Not getting the recommended 7-9 hours of sleep leaves you irritable, agitated or hyper vigilant. A person who hasn't slept enough cannot perform daily functions properly and may feel frustrated or begin to feel trapped. A sense of loss of control makes one feel depressed. Most people don't understand that just getting enough sleep can help in keeping depression at bay.

SOLUTION: Sleeping well has a restorative and rejuvenative action on the body and mind. The body repairs itself while sleeping, dreams are a way of expelling unwanted thoughts and emotions, people develop higher immunity when they sleep well, you have better cognitive functions. You will make sound decisions with fewer errors, concentrating and focussing will be easier. Tasks will seem easier and effortless. A good sleep leaves people feeling energised, happier and alert.

4) Isolation: the experience of being separated from others - may result from being physically removed from others, as when a person lives in a remote area, or it can result from the perception of being removed from a community, such as when a person feels socially or emotionally isolated from others. Social isolation is distinct from the experience of solitude, which is simply the state of being alone, usually by choice. Taking time to be alone can be a healthy, rejuvenating experience that allows us to reconnect with our own needs, goals, beliefs, values, and feelings. But when a person experiences too much solitude or feels socially isolated from others, he or she may develop feelings of loneliness, social anxiety, helplessness, or depression, among others. 

SOLUTION: Having an active social life with real and genuine people whom you gel with and have common interests is like an elixir of life. It infuses a person with a sense of wellbeing, safety, security and belonging, which is necessary for us humans. It forms social support not only in good times but also in tough times when we need help, support, suggestions and encouragement. A shared smile, a nod, a wink, laughter or story can go on a long way to make you feel uplifted.

5) Ruminating Constantly: Dwelling on negative thoughts each day, sets you up for depression. Constantly thinking of failure, loss, rejection or past events is harmful. Ruminating about something you cannot change not only makes you depressed but also drives you insane. It fosters feelings of helplessness, worthlessness and hopelessness, which are so common in depression.

SOLUTION:There are practical ways of fighting this problem, like keeping yourself busy and distracted, or just using an outlet to channel the feelings out of your system. Have a satisfying hobby to fill up your free time. Taking care of a pet, social work also helps people feel good about themselves. Use logic and rational reasoning to combat negative thinking patterns. Seeing meaning in a loss is very helpful too. Look at the positive and brighter side of each situation. Using humour to lighten some tough situations help keep the mental and emotional balance from tipping.

Have any further questions on depression or mental health? Click on consult privately to ask me.

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You Need to Read This To Stay Away From Depression!

Depression is a very common emotion you might have experienced at least once during your lifetime. Depression refers to a state of mind when you are feeling low due to persistent sadness and loss of interest. But if the depression is chronic and long lasting for you, then it indicates that you are suffering from clinical depression. Under clinical depression, it is preferable that you go through a proper treatment course by a certified therapist. The Most common types of depressions are:

-Major depression

Under this type of a depression you will be depressed for most days of the week and if this condition extends for a period greater than 2 weeks, then it is a case of major depression. The most common method to treat a major depression is to talk to a mental health specialist and take medications called antidepressants (only after a prescription by a certified doctor).

-Persistent depressive disorder

This is a more severe and long lasting type of depression which is identified if you are depressed over a period longer than 2 hours. The most common symptoms of this type of a disorder are - change in your appetite, too much or too little sleep, lack of energy or fatigue, low self-esteem, trouble concentrating or making decisions, feeling hopeless among others.

-Bipolar disorder

If you are experiencing extreme ups and downs of mood abruptly and without any apparent reason, then you might be suffering from this disorder. This disorder is commonly known as a maniac depression, because during an up phase you will be extremely happy, joyful outgoing and talkative but during the low phase you will be sad, tired and depressed.

-Seasonal affective disorder

This type of a depression might bother you only during the winter season. This happens whenever the days are shorter and your body is not able to get enough of sunlight. This mostly happens in the case of people who are very fond of sunlight, and they prefer the sunshine over dark periods of the night. This disorder is treated by SAD antidepressants and everyday light therapy of 15 to 20 minutes.

-Psychotic depression

Under this type of a depression, you will have a major depression along with some psychotic symptoms like - hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia. Hallucinations mean viewing things that are not there, in reality, delusions are false beliefs or misconceptions and paranoia is the constant fear that somebody is going to harm you.



5 Types of Common Depression

When it comes to the brain, simple yet easy to make juices can make a lot of difference. These juices not only improve your memory, but are of great help to the cognitive functions as well. While green tea is a known component of increased brain function, there are other drinks too, which can charge your brain over the long term if consumed daily:

Beet juice: Apart from being a nutritional powerhouse, beet juice is a great source of nitric acid. The latter helps with blood flow in the body. A smooth blood flow, on the other hand, helps the brain in functioning properly. A study has found that people who consume beet juice have an increased circulation in the white matter resulting from an increased brain activity. This juice is sweet in taste and can be consumed every alternate day.
Berry Smoothies: Acai is a fruit which has a South African origin and hits the top of the list when it comes to brain assisting food. It increases the flow of the blood and dilates the blood vessels. However, this is extremely expensive. Berries also have a similar effect on the brain, but they are less powerful in nature. What can be done is to mix a little ingredient of Acai in frozen berries juice and drink the same every day. Frozen berries retain the freshness and the nutritional benefits. This drink will improvise your brain and increase blood flow in the body.
Pomegranate juice: Pomegranate is a great antioxidant and it very aptly limits the free radicals from damaging the brain cells. Antioxidants are also credited with increased blood flow and protection of the heart. A healthy cardiovascular system is synonymous to an increased brain function. What is surprising is the fact that Pomegranate has more antioxidant content compared to red wine and green tea. Pomegranate juice can be consumed daily during the morning or afternoon.
Carrot juice: Carrot is known for its healthy components that are beneficial for the eyes. Recent studies have revealed that they are great for the brain too. Like other colored vegetables, they are a great source of antioxidant and have a high content of beta-carotene. Carrot juice can reduce the inflammation of the brain cells and improve memory. Carrot juice is not at all bitter and the same can be consumed every alternate day after your meal.
Cocoa: A Harvard study revealed that two cups of cocoa on a daily basis greatly helps a person in improving memory. Cocoa contains flavanols that keep the blood pressure normal and relaxes the blood vessel linings. Cocoa is also known to be a great antioxidant agent that limits the free radical to affect the brain cells. Cocoa should not be overloaded with sugar and should be consumed hot before starting your day.

5 Super Brain Drinks that Boost Your Memory

Do you believe that the world is a hostile place and you are a victim? Are you the one who often doubts his or her abilities? If so, you might be showing signs of low self-esteem. Interestingly, self-esteem has nothing do with your actual ability or talent. Your looks, weight or skills are not responsible for your low self esteem. It largely depends upon the fact that how you value yourself.

It has been observed in most cases that self-esteem is often affected by a number of reasons, including ill-health, unpleasant memories from the past, and termination of relationships. Low self-esteem is generally marked in survivors of physical or sexual abuse, victims of racial discrimination or people who have had a traumatic past life.

If you don t pay attention towards this issue, you might end up developing certain serious mental disorders. Low self-esteem is also the root cause behind the occurrence of mental disorders like borderline personality disorder, depression, etc. However, there is nothing to worry about it. There are certain simple things that are useful in building up your self-esteem.

Here s all that you need to do to start believing in yourself and be confident about your capabilities:

1. Remember your strong points: Make three separate lists of your strengths; achievements and your qualities that you admire. Take help from your friends, parents and other well-wishers for preparing these lists. These lists will help you in understanding your abilities and goodness. You will be able to believe in your strengths. You must read through these lists at least once daily.

2. Be positive: Optimism and a positive approach towards life are the key to success. Your self-esteem is influenced by the fact that how you look at life. Life is not a bed of roses. It is unavoidable that you will have to face critical situations or problems in life. But, what is important is to face them with courage and a faith in your own abilities. Be positive and stop developing negative thoughts about yourself. Get rid of thoughts like  I am a loser ;  I can t get rid of this problem ; etc.

3. Take care of your body: Your outward appearance sometimes works wonders in lifting up your inner-self and spirits. Keep yourself clean, trim your beard or hairs; cut your nails; don t forget to floss your teeth and maintain overall personal hygiene to develop a feeling of goodness.

4. Sleep well: A good night s sleep is essential for boosting up your self - esteem.

5. Eat right: A balanced diet is a key to good health. Eating the right food in the right way keeps your mental and physical health all right. Include minerals and vitamins in your regular meals. Avoid distractions like television or radio while taking meals.

6. Exercise: Regular workouts keep you away from mental-ill health.

7. Be cool and comfortable first: When it comes to your dressing, try to put on attires that you can carry well. Wear stuffs that you love the most.

How to Build your Self Esteem?

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