HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

Coughing of blood is a serious problem in comparison to normal coghing. The coughing up of blood that originates from below the level of the larynx is known as hemoptysis. This can vary in terms of severity depending on the amount of blood being expelled. This disease is a common condition, but on an average, less than 5% of hemoptysis cases are life-threatening.

Oral antibiotics are usually the first stage of treatment for this condition. Smokers will also be urged to quit cigarettes as this can worsen their condition. Treatment for minor hemoptysis may also include:

Oral hemostatics
Cough suppressants
Anticoagulants
Radiation of laser treatment
Therapeutic bronchoscopy
In its later stages, hemoptysis can be treated with a minimally invasive procedure known as endovascular embolization or with surgery. In some cases, endovascular embolization may also be sued to stabilise the patient before surgery. This procedure reduces the pressure in the hypertrophic arterial blood vessels and decreases the risk of perioperative bleeding.

Hemoptysis is also one of the most common complaints of lung cancer patients. Depending on the stage of cancer and the amount of blood expectorated, treatment in some cases may not be possible. In such cases, a parenteral opioid and fast-acting benzodiazepine may be administered.

Hemoptysis rarely affects children. The symptoms of this condition include:
Sudden onset of a cough with bloody phlegm

Fever
Anorexia and weight loss
Dyspnoea
Paroxysmal nocturnal dyspnoea
Fatigue
What should you follow in following situations?

Chest pain: Medical attention should be sought in cases where this condition recurs often, if it lasts for longer than a fortnight or if the volume of blood expectorated is more than 30ml per day. The various tools that help in the diagnosis of this condition are:
Chest radiography: This imaging modality helps lateralize bleeding and understand the amount of lung involvement. It is quick, inexpensive and can also help detect other underlying abnormalities.
Bronchoscopy: This involves the insertions of a rigid or flexible endoscope into the bronchial passages to check the airways and determines active bleeding sites.
MDCT: A multidetector CT is a non-invasive imaging tool that provides a comprehensive evaluation of airways, lung parenchyma, and thoracic vessels. It can also be used to uncover potential causes of bleeding such as bronchiectasis, pulmonary infections and lung cancer. In some cases, a multidetector CT angiography may also be used.
In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

Coughing Up Blood: Know The Causes Of It! 

Doctors keep learning from research conducted on different types of diseases and their treatments. In the case of lactose tolerance, the conventional wisdom has been that the condition may actually start setting in by the time the baby turns 2 years, but it may not manifest itself till the child reaches adulthood. However, later research has revealed that not only does lactose intolerance occur as one ages, but there are other considerations besides the age of the person, which determine lactose intolerance and its intensity.

Production of Lactase: There is no difference of opinion that the basic cause of this condition is directly related to the production of an enzyme, lactase within the body. This enzyme is produced in the small intestine, and once its production tapers off or stops completely, lactose intolerance surfaces. Lactose intolerance refers to the manner in which the body reacts to the consumption of milk and some foods made with milk. Chemically, milk is described as a combination of one portion galactose and one portion glucose. When milk is consumed, these two are broken down with the help of the lactase enzyme.

Age Does Matter: When researchers started studying cases of lactose intolerance reported at different locations or parts of the world, the patterns that emerged showed a slightly different picture. It is true that the age of the person diagnosed with lactose intolerance does matter. As mentioned, it can start in kids as young as 2 years, but definitely, many symptoms may appear only later in the adolescence period. But some people may develop the condition much later. This means, they might not have faced lactose intolerance to begin with, but as they grow older, their body s ability to produce lactase may dwindle and even disappear and that is when the condition could be noticed and if left untreated, it can become serious too.

Other Factors Relating to Lactose Intolerance: While remaining with the same conviction that age is in important factor in the onset of lactose intolerance, there are other significant indicators which have relation to the genetic composition of the person. For example, in a mixed race population or country such as the US, among whites, the condition may not occur before 5 years of age, while among African-Americans, it occurs by the age of 2 years. Among the Asian population also the occurrence of lactose intolerance is very common, whereas in some European races, the condition is rarely noticed.

How to Manage with the Condition?
It can be easily diagnosed by Lactose Hydrogen breath test (LHBT). If you have already been diagnosed with lactose intolerance, there is not much you can do to improve or induce lactase secretion. The only way is to avoid milk. But there are some products such as butter and some specific types of cheese that can be consumed. Many manufacturers mark the packaging of their products to indicate if they can be consumed by people who are lactose intolerant.

Lactose Intolerance & Age - Understanding The Relation!

5 natural ways to control your blood pressure

Blood pressure rises with each heartbeat and falls as your heart relaxes. The normal blood pressure should be less than 120/80 mm hg. An increase or decrease on either end can cause various problems.

Here are some of the natural ways to control your blood pressure.

1. Having a diet low in sodium

In the event of a high blood pressure, curtail the consumption of foods that are rich in sodium. However, research reveals that sometimes it is not just enough to cut down on sodium in your diet. A person suffering from high bp should consume foods rich in minerals like calcium, magnesium and potassium as well to keep his/her bp in check.

2. Drink plenty of water and curtail the consumption of alcohol

In case a person suffers from low blood pressure, it is advisable to drink plenty of water as low blood pressure is usually accompanied by bouts of dehydration, and consumption of water can help increase your blood pressure. Also, health drinks, which are rich in electrolytes, help your raise blood pressure. But one should avoid drinks that are high in sugar, and abating your alcohol consumption also helps to quite an extent.

3. Burn extra calories and exercise regularly

Blood pressure usually increases with weight. Being overweight can lead to sleep apnea, which is marked by disruptive breathing while you sleep, which in turn condition can lead to increased blood pressure. Studies have found that weight loss is one of the most effective ways to control high bp. Regular physical activity is also advised to maintain a stable blood pressure.

4. Avoid long, hot showers

The hot water in showers and spas can expand your blood vessels, which can often lead to a drop in blood pressure. A common sign of this would be dizziness and fainting while taking a bath. Therefore, for people suffering from this condition, using warm water rather than hot water is advisable.

5. Completely avoid stress

One of the contributing factors of high blood pressure is chronic stress. Stress tends to affect blood pressure in indirect ways. Many react to stress by overeating, consumption of alcohol and smoking, all of which can increase your blood pressure. Try to know what triggers your stress and take steps to avoid it.


If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Got High Blood Pressure? Eat These 5 Foods!



5 Tricks that Control Your Blood Pressure, Naturally

When you get a compliment'smart thinking or you are intelligent or that was intelligent of you, you definitely feel good. These comments fill us with confidence, admiration and pride and we want it to happen to us again and again. But owing to a busy schedule and long working hours it might not be possible. Having said this, it does not mean that a person cannot stay intelligent throughout. This can be easily achieved by regular meditation. Regular meditation and yoga helps the mind to be more reflective and efficient.

Here are reasons how yoga and meditation lead to an intellectual learning and growth:

 Utilizes the brain: almost everyone uses one half of their brain more and this leads to imbalance. Meditation is believed to sync the left and the right hemispheres, thereby allowing neural connection and great processing power. When logical left and creative right brains start working in harmony, then solving problems becomes easy; and it also increases creativity, deep thinking comes to be known of and concentration and focus magnifies. Highly successful people usually display whole brain synchronization.
 Functional capabilities of brain enhance due to meditation: research backs it that meditation increases the gray matter thickness of the brain regions, thus making the brain smarter, bigger and faster. This is very similar to doing physical exercise which makes the muscles denser and stronger. The increase in functional capabilities of brain is based on the concept of neuroplasticity, which states that our intelligence is not based on genetics and there are some things which can be done to improve the way our brain works. Meditation is a good brain enhancer with an ability to increase intelligence.
 Beneficial brainwave patterns can be seen: meditation can help to guide the brainwaves into beneficial frequencies. The frequencies: alpha, theta and delta when guided can show case a myriad of benefits including idea generation, creativity, cognitive functioning, and intellectual capacity. Meditation helps to transform these beneficial states of mind and help boost the iq.
 Develops intuition and insights: these are generally obtained through listening and developing to the inner voice. Thus meditation forms to be the basic key to tap these latent abilities. The intelligence can be mapped through tests and quizzes and is valuable at each level to stimulate insights and creativity. As per some people, inner intelligence, is considered to be the most important and best success in the world. Successful people including steve jobs have stated that their super revolutionary ideas and business acumen came through their intuition.
 Meditation helps in improving both short and long term memory: the key memory areas hippocampus and frontal lobe show increase in activity during meditation. By stimulating these areas, the short and long term memories are improved.

Can Yoga Improve Your IQ?

6 Unexpectedly easy ways to give your sex life a whole new dimension

New Year is a good the time for new beginnings. At times our sex lives needs to be revived too. After a few years together, a couple’s sex life may begin to stagnate. A boring sex life can negatively impact your relationship as well. But by employing some very easy tricks in the bedroom, you can bring back the passion and add spark to your life. 
Can’t figure out where to start? Here are 6 tips and tricks to help you out. 

1. Be spontaneous: One of the main reasons a couple’s sex life dwindles is because they fall into a routine. Whether it’s the position you choose, or the sequence of events- right from foreplay to the actual intercourse- every couple has their own set routine. Break this monotony and try out new positions that can greatly enhance your pleasure. Also, try having sex somewhere else in the house that you haven’t before to spice things up.

2. Don’t be shy: Sex is one of the most intimate acts you can share with someone. However, sometimes you may find yourself being unable to open up to your partner about what gets you in the mood. This can make sex an unfulfilling experience. Try telling your partner what you’d like him/her to do. You might end up discovering that both of you share a common fantasy you hadn’t spoken about before.

3. Explore all erogenous zones: There are a lot of erogenous zones on a man and woman’s body. Take your time and get to know every single one of them. If you don’t know where they are, explore your partner’s body and see what turns him/her on and where. This is a great exercise that also sets the foundation for more fulfilling sex in the future. 

4. Experiment with your lingerie: Clothes can be a turn on or a turn off depending on what you wear. Try experimenting with your lingerie. A host of options are available out there for both men and women. These days you can even buy edible lingerie on leading online shopping sites. Choose bright shades like red, as they’ve been proven to increase arousal.

5. Play around with sex toys: Introducing sex toys in your bedroom can prove to be very stimulating as well as exciting for both you and your partner. Sex toys come in all shapes and sizes, for both men and women. You can take your pick from vibrators and vibrating rings, handcuffs, etc; even lubricants and gels can be used to enhance pleasure and make sex more exciting.

6. Shave your pubic hair: Another way to give your sex life a whole new dimension, shaving off your pubic hair can increase the sensitivity in your genitals making sex a more pleasurable experience. Besides, for many shaved genitals have a visual appeal and cause intense arousal, which is very important when it comes to having a satisfying sex life. 

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

6 Easy Ways to Give Your Sex Life a New Dimension in 2016

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