Smartphone Addiction is a Sign of Depression

There are some people who just never seem to get off the phone. They would be looking at their phones all the time, messaging, using social networking sites or simply clicking their pictures or playing games. A study suggests that addiction to the smartphone is linked to and serves as a sign of depression.

The study reveals that individuals who have been diagnosed with some form or degree of depression tend to use their phones more. In fact, smartphone addiction is correlated to clinical depression. So, if your teenage son or daughter or someone you know have been using their phones too often, then this might be a red signal towards depression.

Smartphone addiction can be seen as a compulsive behavior and is typically noticed among depressed people. At the same time, it can result in depression as well. People who are prone to developing depression symptoms may also use their phone more often. Their excessive usage and smartphone addiction may actually make them irritable and sad, looking at photos of others, noticing other people’s lives may make them feel that their lives aren’t perfect. This can in turn lead to feelings of extreme sadness, cause depression or even suicidal thoughts.

So, make sure that you keep a tab of how often people use smartphone in your family. If you suspect behavioral changes with smartphone addiction, consider getting a consultation with a psychologist or counsellor.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Your Addiction To Smart Phone Reveals Something Shocking About You!

Neurological disorders are an enigmatic bunch. There are various ongoing researches to identify the exact cause and how to treat them. While some argue that schizophrenia is a chronic brain disorder, others do not agree with it and debate that the origin is yet to be identified and the factors which produce it are yet to be identified.

Factors supporting it to be a brain disease are listed below.

Scan images (MRI and PET scans) of people who have had schizophrenia are different and have a reduced volume of grey matter, especially in the frontal and temporal lobes. In some people, this loss could be as high as 25%. Serial images have shown that the loss begins in the outer (parietal) region and gradually spreads to the rest of the brain. There is a strong correlation between the extent of this grey matter loss and the severity of the symptoms more the loss, worse the symptoms. Severe symptoms include hearing voices, psychotic thoughts, delusions, hallucinations and severe depression. This grey matter reduction does not depend on whether the person has undergone treatment or not for the condition. 

The counter argument is that grey matter loss is not seen in patients with schizophrenia alone. A number of neurological disorders, including normal ageing, manifest as grey matter loss on the scan images. Also, another consoling news is that this grey matter loss is completely reversible.

The way neurotransmitters respond to stimuli in people with schizophrenia is also slightly different. There are two variations to this debate: that schizophrenia is caused by excessive amounts of dopamine or increased sensitivity to dopamine. There are two proofs for this hypothesis first, dopamine suppressants are useful as antipsychotic drugs and secondly drugs which produce the same effect as dopamine can cause hallucinations similar to those seen in schizophrenics. There could be other neurotransmitters involved too, but the dopamine connection is more strongly established.

The electrical activity of the brain as seen in EEG is very different and abnormal in schizophrenic people. This reduced brain activity is another indication of the fact that schizophrenia is another brain disorder. There is also a strong genetic component to schizophrenia. Family history correlation is also very strong. The correlation extends to the point that where there is a neurologic disorder in the first-degree relatives, the chances of developing schizophrenia is increased.

There are specific genes, mutations of which are also attributed to schizophrenia. While the risk factors are in place (as mentioned above), the environmental conditions (brain infections, head trauma, family/social stressors and toxins can all lead to the manifestation of the symptoms. With medications and support therapy, both prevention and symptom management are possible.

Schizophrenia - Is It Really a Brain Disease?

Language disorder is commonly known as language impairment, it is a common childhood disorder, which makes it difficult for kids to understand what the people around them are saying to them and to face difficulty in following simple directions, it also includes difficulty in expressing the thoughts and feeling through speech.

Language disorder can be classified as:

Receptive language disorder: This disorder makes it difficult to understand what the other person is saying to the one suffering from it.
Expressive language disorder: Kids suffering from it are not able to express themselves and their thoughts.
Mixed receptive expressive disorder: These kids have combined symptoms of receptive language disorder and expressive language disorder, making it difficult to understand and to make someone else understand.
Symptoms of language disorder:

Difficulty in understanding: The ones suffering from language disorder, finds it difficult to understand what the people around them are saying.
Limited vocabulary: It is one of the prominent symptoms, in which the vocabulary of the kids is very limited as compared to other kids of that age.
Trouble learning new things: Learning new things is a difficult task for the kid suffering from language disorder
Repeat usage of certain phrases: Kids tend to use the same phrase again and again, which is one of the basic symptoms.
Frustration: As the kid is either not able to understand or to make other understand or both, kids with this disorder tend to remain more frustrated in comparison to other kids, as they are unable to do things. 
Sentences which do not make sense: Making incomplete or senseless sentences is a key indicator of language disorder.
What you should do?

Speech therapist: The treatment may include speech therapy, in which the speech therapist will work towards building the vocabulary and improving the grammar of the kids suffering, making the kids more confident and feel good about themselves.
Psychotherapy: If the kid is also suffering from emotional issues because of the language disorder, then one should also undergo Psychotherapy, as it not only improves the morale of the patient, but also provides the guidance on how to keep improving further from the language disorder.
Positive Atmosphere: The kids suffering from such a disorder should be made comfortable enough to enjoy their being, giving plenty of time to your young ones is the best way to cure such disorder, so one should always communicate well with his kids and make them learn new things, sing to them, listen to various sounds, show different pictures, colours, shapes to make them learn.
Parental Support: The parents should also understand the issue well, be patient, and should support the kid to work out on the disorder. Parents should also interact with other parents, who have been there, to learn more about the language disorders and how their kids overcome the disorder.
As language disorder is one of common issue in kids, this can be managed and cured well to improve after all the required knowledge and best practices to follow.

Language Disorder - How to Diagnose it?	


A new relationship involves a lot of weighing from both the sides. Learn what really matters to win people over in this post. When you want to build a new relationship, whether it is for work, business, personal, marriage, friendship etc there are several factors that help take off and bloom the relationship. These factors are broadly the same in different age groups as far as psychological impact matters. Some of the most important influential factors from a psychological point of view have been highlighted here. 

1. Presentation- When you want to draw someone into relationship with you for any reason, it is important that you present yourself at you best levels be it physical or mental. Like they say that the first impression is the best impression, your display of you strengths creates an impression that helps people decide what they want to do with you. This doesn't mean you should hide all your weaknesses but highlighting your strengths is as important as making your weaknesses clear. Always learn to put your best foot forward as sometimes that itself may not be enough. You can't really send your neighbour for your job interview!! There are many instances when people send different photographs in their applications and different ones appear for the exams. This is mere cheating and not winning.

2. Plan – Let people know what you want to do with them and what they can they can do with you. No one can say they don’t have a plan. There is always some plan. Knowing it strengthens why you want to have that relationship in the first place. Otherwise it's like something which is there but you can never want to do anything with! When you are honest with your plans and they workout as you described it, it creates confidence in relationship or else it is destroyed forever. You can cheat a person with your plans once, not forever.

3. Possibilities- Will this relationship bring me trouble? Obviously nobody wants to get into a relationship with anybody that brings them trouble be it physical or mental. Next question is whether it will benefit me? Small or big depends on person's needs. Some relationships neither bring us trouble nor benefits us, such relationships are better than the ones which can cause harm.

4. Potential – Question. Does this relationship you are trying to develop have any possibilities of growth a few or many years down the line. Obviously we have a lot of friends who wither by passing of time. Does this relationship have an expiry date irrespective of how well or bad it goes? Like when we join college we know for sure that the friends will be with us till the duration of the course and that's it. We will know that if we study together it will help us achieve great grades in college and hence a great life later. These kind of growth possibilities or possibilities of deterioration are important to be well aware of and will naturally decide the course of relationships.

5. Progress – No matter what our initial assessments are, how the relationships helps us fare in the outside world will ultimately decide the future of any relationship. Loss, sorrow, tragedy, degradation in any aspect of life, insults, injury, loss of health etc will never help any relationship continue or last.

6. Partnerships – When we want to build a relationship with someone, the best way to do it is to obviously partner with that person in as many activities as possible. The more interested a person is the more activities that person will involve you in and try to do it with you. This type of partnership activities, be it spending a few hours in the evening, or a few minutes on phone, or an association of months or years are a foolproof way to show you are interested. Conversely a person who doesn't partner with you in anything is extremely unlikely to ever have any sort of relationship with you. Partnership in activities is the only way to show and know that you are interested or the other person is interested respectively. After all chasing the moon, stars and rainbow are activities of people who don’t realize its out of their reach. Sensible people are busy with what their eyes see, hands feel, ears listen, tongue tastes and thinking perceives as appropriate.

7. Positioning attitudes- As a tree bends with the winds to prevent from cracking, we all have to be flexible with our attitudes towards each other. Being too rigid about our protocol on how relationships should run irrespective of the reality and circumstances of the person we are having a relationship with is naturally going to break relationships. After all a doctor who heals and prevents all illnesses is better than a doctor who abuses his patients for falling ill but never does anything for them. Eg: You get bed and good food in a hotel as well as at your home. A hotel will provide food only on payment of money, but family will provide it whenever your hungry. Hence hotels can never expect the same emotions as family can, and this is as natural as it should be. Hence be careful what you want from a relationship. Whether you want to be treated as a hotel or family is entirely how you play yourself with others. After all only families can expect loyalty not hotels.

8. Politeness- In any relationship, many years down the line, what our long term memory retains is how comfortable we were in that relationship. Even if we profit from a particular relationship, the fact that it shook us mentally and emotionally will never allow us to go back or retain that relationship. Life is short and the only thing that matters is to spend it comfortably. Not destroy our peace for some benefit that destroys our peace of mind.

9. Personation- While sending a representative of your organization for a client meeting may work in business, you cant really send a representative to meet you wife or kids at home. In personal relationship, lack of your physical presence obviously means that you don’t have time for them. In any relationship, individuality matters a lot. Just imagine, if all actors acted exactly the same in movies, why would you prefer any particular one over the other as your favourite? The nuances and differences in our personalities are what makes us all unique. We are not robots from a particular brand to behave exactly the same way. If a person in a relationship doesn't sense your individuality you are wasting their time by trying to have a relationship with them, especially a personal one.

10. Positive reinforcement- When we get into a relationship, it is important that we feel good about ourselves and what we are doing. If you feel like a shoplifter entering a shop, you will not feel good about that relationship. When a shopkeeper welcomes us, shows us his products, tells us their details and provides all the explanations on how we will be well off with the product, provides his guarantee for it, confirms its essence, many people buy it even if they don’t compulsively need it. It’s the same in relationships. On the same side if a shopkeeper is arrogant, avoidant, abusive, insulting etc you are very unlikely to buy anything in that shop because you are not sure that the shopkeeper means any good and will be happy with the shopkeeper s product. The experience of buying is as important as the product we buy. Nobody is happy about something they got when they weren't treated the right way or is interested in retaining it when they don’t get good service for it.

11. Persistence on all Ps – Obviously when we want relationships to last, we need to be persistent on all the above P's. Otherwise it wont take long for a relationship to be counted in “once upon a time”!! A simple conversation even if for a few minutes every now and then when you need it may make it seem that you are still there for a person. Without even that people may even find it hard to remember that they even had something to do with you sometime before keeping in mind the the numerous activities we involve daily to maintain our lifestyles.

“KNOWING IS DOING AND NOT KNOWING IS UNDOING EVEN IF DOING!”

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How To Win Over New Relationships

MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND ARGUMENTS? CHANGE THEM INTO FLOWING CONVERSATION
Conflicts and misunderstandings occur at all levels of interaction – at work, among friends, within families and between relationship partners. When conflict occurs, the relationship may be weakened or strengthened. Thus, conflict is a critical event in the course of a relationship. Arguments  and misunderstandings  can cause resentment, hostility and perhaps the ending of the relationship. If it is handled well, however, it can be productive – leading to deeper understanding, mutual respect and closeness. The health of any relationship is gauged by how the conflicts are resolved, rather than the number of conflicts between the participants. 
Conflicts run all the way from minor, unimportant differences to disputes which can threaten the existence of a relationship. Conflicts with a loved one or a long-term friend are, of course, different from negotiating with someone who does not care about your needs, like a stranger or a salesperson. 

 Principles that underscores all successful conflict resolution. 
1. Both parties must view their conflict as a problem to be solved together so that both parties have the feeling of winning.
2. Each person must participate actively in the resolution and make an effort and commitment to find answers which are as fair as possible to both. 

We may get so caught up with our own immediate interests that we damage our relationships. If we disregard the position of the other person, if fear and power are used to win, or if we always have to get our own way, the other person will feel hurt and the relationship may be wounded. Similarly, if we always surrender just to avoid conflict, we give the message to the other person that it is acceptable to be bullied and our needs don’t matter. Our feeling of self-worth suffers, resentment surfaces, and we feel frustrated in the relationship. Instead, it is healthier if both parties can remain open, honest, assertive and respectful of the other position. Mutual trust and respect, as well as a positive, constructive attitude, are fundamental necessities in relationships that matter.

SOME EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES TO HOLD EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS:
1. INITIAL AGREEMENT: The other person may be very angry with you and may be having loads of evidence to prove himself right. At that time, instead of arguing your position, simply agree at that time because there will be a grain of truth if nothing else. This doesn’t mean that you are giving up your values and principles. Sometimes its important to diffuse the emotional charge before working out on the differences. Sometimes its ok to “lose” individually in order to “win” together in the end.
2. EMPATHY: Sometimes putting yourself  in the other persons shoes and seeing the problem from their perspective helps build bridges. You could say,” I feel that you must be very upset with me for behaving like that with you, I should have been more considerate”. Half the battle is won and the other participant feels validated and will be more willing to listen to your tale of woes more amicably.
3. ASK QUESTIONS: When you ask questions, it shows that you care and are interested to resolve the problem at hand. Please note that while asking questions, be watchful of your words and tone. Asking exploratory  questions about the other persons thoughts and feelings rather than probing and insulting questions can take you miles on the way to effective resolution. For eg. “Is there anything that you would like me to know about this problem”?
4. USING “I” STATEMENTS: Take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings rather than blaming the other person for making you feel like that. This decreases the chance that the other person will become defensive. For example, “I feel pretty upset that this thing has come between us.” This statement is much more effective than saying, “You have made me feel very upset.” 
5. COMPLIMENTS: Find something nice and genuine to say about the other person, even if the other is angry with you. Show a respectful attitude. For example, “I genuinely respect you for having the courage to bring this problem to me. I admire your strength and your caring attitude.” 

A RATIONAL APPROACH TO RESOLVING CONFLICTS:
Here is a model that may help in resolving interpersonal conflicts. 
1. Identify the Problem. Have a discussion to understand both sides of the problem. The goal at this initial stage is to say what you want and to listen to what the other person wants. Define the things that you both agree on, as well as the ideas that have caused the disagreement. It is important to listen actively to what the other is saying, use “I” statements and avoid blame. 
2. Come Up With Several Possible Solutions. This is the brainstorming phase. Drawing on the points that you both agree on and your shared goals, generate a list of as many ideas as you can for solving the problem, regardless of how feasible they might be. Aim toward quantity of ideas rather than quality during this phase, and let creativity be your guide.
3. Evaluate These Alternative Solutions. Now go through the list of alternative solutions to the problem, one by one. Consider the pros and cons of the remaining solutions until the list is narrowed down to one or two of the best ways of handling the problem. It is important for each person to be honest in this phase. The solutions might not be ideal for either person and may involve compromise. 
4. Decide on the Best Solution. Select the solution that seems mutually acceptable, even if it is not perfect for either party. As long as it seems fair and there is a mutual commitment to work with the decision, the conflict has a chance for resolution. 
5. Implement the Solution. It is important to agree on the details of what each party must do, who is responsible for implementing various parts of the agreement, and what to do in case the agreement starts to break down. 
6. Continue to Evaluate the Solution. Conflict resolutions should be seen as works in progress. Make it a point to ask the other person from time to time how things are going. Something unexpected might have come up or some aspect of the problem may have been overlooked. Your decisions should be seen as open to revision, as long as the revisions are agreed upon mutually. 

Keep in mind that differences will come up in any relationship just because you two are different individuals with different perspectives, ideologies, attitudes and perceptions. Too much similarity in personality and working styles may be comforting but can be very boring and uninspiring overtime. On the other hand, differences can bring change, novelty and an added spice to the relationship. Two very different people can pool their different strengths and work together as a stronger team. Though, extreme differences may overtime sour the relationship and make living or working together difficult. You also need to look out for an emotionally or physically abusive relationship, which is based on power differential rather than respect and trust. A person may then choose to opt out after an amicable “goodbye” or "agree to disagree".























OCD or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is an anxiety disorder, which can be indicated through obsession, having pervasive thoughts or thoughts, which may upset you, having certain compulsions, and practicing certain rituals, which may help to control or manage your obsessions. It is a disorder, which cannot be cured, but can be controlled with the help of treatment. Mostly, OCD is considered to be a lifelong disorder. It often circulates around the fear of germs or sickness and around keeping order and maintaining patterns. A person suffering from OCD can often be extremely annoying. Hence here are a few tips you can use to deal with OCD:

1. Understand OCD: The first step towards dealing with OCD is to know what you have to deal with. Gather as much information as you can about OCD and also read up about how you can overcome it. You need to know the symptoms of OCD so you can identify the disorder. Almost everyone suffers from OCD at one point of their lives. Hence, it is extremely important to understand OCD in order to treat it.

2. Work with your compulsions: Do not get petrified about your compulsions if you are planning to overcome your OCD, instead work with them. Try not to encourage their development. If you are worrying about whether you have switched of the lights, try and develop a mental picture of you doing it. If you are able to get a clear picture, then you have, otherwise you can go and switch it off. Another option is to maintain a list where you tick off the activity once you have done it so that you don't have to worry about it later on. 

3. Maintain a journal: Maintaining a journal will help you curb your fears and negative thoughts. Write down all your obsessive thought and reflect on how they are affecting you and whether they are worth your worry or time. Gradually you will see that you are able to control these thoughts and will be able to push away any negativity which comes along with them.

4. Remind yourself about the good in you: Make this your regular practice. Do not undermine yourself, instead make yourself feel good. This will help you to get over the fact that you have done something wrong in your daily activities (like not turning the gas off when you actually have) and that wrong is going to harm people.

Chronic OCD will require therapy and medical assistance. Hence if you are able to detect the signs at an early level and are able to adopt the above measures to control it, then going to a doctor might not be necessary.

Tips to Deal With Ocd

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