Deepika and Ranbir show you how to manage relationships against all odds

Relationships may or may not always pan out the way you expect them to. Be it with a friend, family member or your partner, certain relationships may end up getting bitter over time. The reasons for this may be tensions in the relationship, break-ups, lack of compatibility, infidelity, lack of attention to details, over familiarity and so on. Although such incidents may scar you forever, it is always possible to mend your relationships, if you intend to.

The first thing you can do is to try to build a new friendship, whether it’s with your ex-lover or anyone else  you may have had a fall-out with. Take for example, the former couple- Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone. These Bollywood celebrities have flawlessly transitioned from being ex-lovers to being good friends.

So how did they do it?
Through 3 simple ways Ranbir and Deepika were able to heal the past and forge a new and meaningful relationship:

1. They kept it formal while setting boundaries

Ranbir and Deepika comfortably worked with each other in several movies as on-screen lovers with no insecurities. The reason they were able to do this was because they had set clear emotional boundaries.
Being secure is essential for you to stop yourself from reliving the past. Setting clear boundaries may help you in accepting that things are different now and the relationship has changed. Both the concerned people must respect each other’s decisions in order to have cordial relations and not be uncomfortable in the other’s presence.

2. They accepted the differences between them

Ranbir and Deepika were only successful in maintaining a cordial relationship because they had embraced each other’s differences rather than attempting to change each other.
You can only do this by giving yourself a little time. You can personally try to accept how every individual has a set of distinct characteristics and then try to respect and accept them for it.

3. They were polite and lived in the present

Even after having a checkered history together Ranbir and Deepika chose to remain courteous and amicable towards one another. They only focused on the present scenario, instead of mulling over past grievances - The biggest reason why they are on such good terms.
You should try to forget the past and hope for an improved future. Whether you meet at a social or an official gathering, you must hold your ground, be professional and courteous towards the concerned person. Participating in loose gossip about the individual or acting petty doesn’t reflect well on your personality.
Also, living in the past is a sign of an unhealthy state of mind. Learn to let go, and move on.

By learning from the real-life example of Deepika and Ranbir, you too can balance all your relationships well, no matter what happens.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Lessons from Deepika and Ranbir on How to Manage Relationships Against All Odds

It is good to meditate as it gives solutions of many problems & stress is released, but sometimes it becomes compulsion with no or less results.  The aim of meditation is achieved with mind management and after this the mind gets the solution to all the stress and unfulfilled desires. The solutions that you get with mind management are permanent & not available anywhere else.

And, once it is done the mind is left with no reason for the production of stress again in future at all and it stops permanently in case of that perticular topic and for all aspects of life.

Benefits of Mind Managemnt

It is a scenario where once the mind gets all the solutions it is in meditaion, in syn with work, and thinks about useful thoughts. 
It is an acquired practice and with time our mind can be trained. Once you start practicing it and master it is then a permanent solution for all your worries. The mind management is a simple, easy  and is very less time consuming thing. 
It can help you find explanations and implementations that are not available anywhere.
Mind management is a perfect way to guide on the path of love, respect. progress and most importantly happiness
It can cure problems such as diagnosed, undiagnosed, autoimmune diseases and other number of problems with efficient and powerful techniques


Mind Management - A Perfect Way To Resolve Your Problems!

Anger is among the gamut of emotions we exhibit as a reaction to a situation, and it is a'normal' emotion too as long as it is kept under control. Some people have the propensity to explode when pushed to the extreme. They keep swallowing their emotions until they can finally do it no more, and erupt like a volcano. Others dealing with extreme anger are like a ticking time bomb. You'll never know what you unwittingly say or do can trigger an explosion. In either case, anger that cannot be controlled comes with a physical reaction.

Your heart beats faster preparing you for both action and reaction. Your breathing quickens. You may clench your fist, tighten your shoulders and go into a defensive position. The problem arises out of the fact that it is almost impossible to feel anger and empathy at the same time. An angry person is seldom sensitive to the well being of his victim, and hence may lash out verbally and sometimes physically. Such things done in the heat of the moment mostly leaves us with regrets. So here are a few ways to deal with extreme anger.


	Acknowledge it: the first step in solving a problem is recognizing that you have one. The fundamental problem here is that people believe they are on the right track and refuse to budge from their views. It is essential to realize that this step is not about deciding whether you are right or wrong, but acknowledging the fact that your reaction to the situation can be channeled in a better way. When getting someone to acknowledge their anger problem, be careful as to not use negative words like wrong, false and shouldn't. Instead, influence with positive words like can and should. Instead of saying'you are wrong to react like this, you can say'i understand what you are feeling. Is there a way we can resolve this situation'
	Recognize the signs: once you know that your problems exist, you can try devising ways that will work for you in dealing with the situation. You can count to 10 to calm yourself or simply decide to not speak until you can calm yourself. Knowing that you may enter into an argument in a situation, you can list down the points that you feel strongly about and discuss each of them one by one. Working your way through a finite list gives a better opportunity to reach closure at the end.
	Find ways to let it go: not all arguments end in closure. A lot of unsaid justifications cloud our mind repeatedly leaving us seething from the inside. Research has shown that the neurological anger response lasts less than two seconds. Beyond that it takes a strong will to stay angry. Once you realize how much your anger is consuming your mind, decide to free your mind with meditation and other calming exercises. Tell yourself that some people and issues simply don't deserve your anger, emotion, reaction or time.


If you or someone you know is suffering from anger management issues, consult a doctor today.


How To Control Extreme Anger

Smoking can affect your health in all respects, and it is no different when it comes to your heart. Smokers are almost twice as likely to have heart problems compared to individuals who do not smoke.

How does smoking cast an impact on your cardiac health?
Smoking increases the risk of developing various kinds of cardiovascular issues such as stroke and coronary heart disease. It damages the lining of the arteries which, in turn, paves the way for building up of fatty substances called atheroma which narrows down the artery. This may lead to heart attack, stroke, and angina.

Tobacco contains carbon monoxide which reduces the amount of oxygen in the blood. This indicates that the heart has to work harder for supplying the required amount of oxygen. Cigarettes also contain nicotine which stimulates the production of adrenaline. This instigates the heart to beat at a faster pace and raises the blood pressure.

The chemicals present in the smoke of tobacco can harm your blood cells and retard the normal functioning of the heart. When not inhibited, it can lead to atherosclerosis. Atherosclerosis is an ailment in which a waxy material, termed as plaque builds up in the arteries and limits the flow of blood to different parts of the body.

When plaque builds up for a long span of time, it causes coronary heart disease, and you are likely to experience symptoms such as heart failure, chest pain, heart attack, arrhythmia and heart failure and even death.

Smoking is a major risk factor for another fatal ailment called the peripheral artery disease or PAD. PAD is a clinical condition where the accumulation of plaque in the arteries inhibits carriage of oxygen-rich blood to the head, different organs, and limbs.

With regular smoking, the blood is more susceptible to clotting which surges the risk of having a stroke or heart attack.

Is there any effect of second-hand smoking?
Second-hand smoking, also referred to as passive smoking means inhaling the smoke ejected while smoking. When a person is regularly exposed to smoke, he or she is likely to have low levels of good cholesterol, damaged heart tissues, and high blood pressure. Various researchers are of the opinion that second-hand smoke of tobacco is a viable cause of heart ailments in nonsmokers. This means, if you are a smoker, you are definite to harm the members of your surroundings.

Why should you quit smoking?
One of the best ways to decrease the risk of having cardiac ailments is to stop smoking. In case you have never smoked, you should never think of starting it for the same reason. You should also try to avoid second-hand smoke by avoiding going to a smoking zone. It would be a great idea to avoid the company of smokers for the periods when they are smoking.
Stay away from smoking for your heart health.

Can Smoking Affect Your Heart?

When it comes to speech, every child has a different pace of learning. In the first year, they should be able to recognize and respond to their own names and simple directions like  come , etc. By a child s second birthday, he or she should be able to use a single word or two-word phrases and understand simple questions. If a child s speech development seems atypical for his or her age, you may need to consult a speech therapist. Some of the things you should look out for are:

Mispronouncing vowels: Many children have problems with pronunciation. Pronouncing  bath  as  baf  or  animal  as  amal  is normal. However, if they cannot pronounce vowels correctly, they may be having problems with articulation. For example, your child might say  coo  instead of  cow .
Using only single words: Part of a speech therapist s job is to teach a child to join words together to create phrases and sentences. If even after your child s second birthday, they still prefer using single words instead of phrases, you should consult a speech therapist. For example, they may just say  water  instead of  i want water .
Stuttering: Many children are shy and hesitant of speaking especially in front of strangers. However, stuttering is a more serious problem. This could be in the form of repeating syllables or prolonging words. For example,  s-s-s-s-s-stop  or  mmmmmm me . If this is not nipped in the bud, it could continue into the child s adult life as well.
Answering a question by repeating part of it: By the age of three years, a child should be able to understand and answer simple questions. If the child answers a question by repeating part of it, such as answering  do you want food  with  you want food , it could be a sign of a bigger problem. This is known as echolalia and might be an early symptom of autism.
Limited vocabulary: Each child s vocabulary grows at a different rate but it is important to be able to notice an increase in the child s vocabulary from month to month. If the child uses only a finite set of words and does not catch on to new words, you may need a speech therapist. They can help the child expand their vocabulary and become more receptive to new words.
Other factors you should watch out for include difficulty with pronouns, not being able to follow instructions and understand prepositions and confusion with gender.

When Does My Child Need Speech Therapy?

Anger is one of the most common negative emotions, in that when a person is upset or frustrated over somebody or something, it manifests as anger. Though we may not notice on a routine basis, there are various forms of anger and it has a lot of negative effect on the overall physical and emotional health. Some people also are more prone to feel angry and manifest it openly, who is known as  short-tempered.  Read on to know more about anger and how to manage anger effectively.

In today s world though, you cannot throw a fit of rage and say it is because of your short-tempered nature. There are extreme instances of violence triggered by anger, so it is necessary to learn to conquer your anger. 

DIFFERENT PEOPLE RESPOND TO ANGER IN DIFFERENT WAYS, COMMONLY AS:

Verbal anger: The person who is angry, abuses the other person or sometimes throws rage at a totally different person to vent out the anger. 
Passive anger: Though these people are less expressive when angry, they show their anger through sarcasm directed at the person who induced anger. 
Self-inflicted Anger: These people inflict anger on themselves through self-harm acts like minor cuts, bruises, beating oneself, digging nails into their flesh or burns to release their anger.
SYMPTOMS OF ANGER AND AGGRESSION 
We may respond to anger in physical and psychological ways such as those listed below:

Anger   physical responses: increased heart rate and blood pressure, sweating, muscle tension, clenched jaw 
Anger   psychological responses: feelings of frustration, feelings of rejection, feelings of mistreatment, hostility towards some people 
Aggression: shouting at people (e.g. family, colleagues, strangers, physical violence (e.g. hitting, punching people or slamming doors), ignoring or socially excluding others (passive aggression)
WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE SHORT-TEMPERED
Some people really are more impetuous than others. They get aggressive more easily and more intensely as compared to others. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. People who are easily angered don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they get off socially, sulk, drink/smoke or get physically ill.

Easily angered people generally have what we call as "A low tolerance for frustration, aggravations and hassles of daily living" and sometimes overreact to the many common problems of daily living. They feel that they should not be subjected to frustration, annoyance, or inconvenience. They can't take things in stride, and are particularly infuriated if the situation in some way seems illogical: for example, such people might be miffed on being corrected for even a minor blunder. 

HOW ANGER AFFECTS OUR LIVES

Physical effects of anger: Anger triggers the body s  fight or flight  response. Other emotions that trigger this response include anxiety, fear and excitement. The adrenal glands flood the body with stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. The brain shunts blood away from the gut and towards the muscles, in preparation for physical exertion. Heart rate, blood pressure and respiration increase, the body temperature rises and the skin perspires. The mind is sharpened and focused.

Health problems with anger: The constant flood of stress chemicals and associated metabolic changes that go with recurrent unmanaged anger can eventually cause harm to many different systems of the body. Some of the short and long-term health problems that have been linked to unmanaged anger include: 

Headache 
Insomnia 
Digestion problems, such as abdominal pain 
Increased anxiety 
High blood pressure 
Depression 
Heart attack 
Stroke 
Skin problems, such as eczema
IMPACT OF ANGER ON OUR RELATIONS

Anger at home: Anger is a normal emotion but not being able to control your anger at home can damage your personal relationships. When you get angry, it stresses your partner out and breaks the trust in your relationship. When it comes to children, shouting at them can confuse them and make them afraid of you. In the long run, this can affect their social skills.
Anger at the workplace: Getting angry at your workplace can reduce your productivity and harm your relationships with your colleagues. The angrier you get in the office, the more your colleagues and clients will avoid you. Thus, you may risk missing out on crucial teamwork projects that can affect your career growth. A reputation for anger can also make you a target for revenge and lawsuits.
Anger in society: Nobody wants to interact with a person who has a reputation for getting easily offended and angered. Thus the angrier you get, the more your friends will keep away from you. This can be quite frustrating and can make you an even angrier person. Uncontrolled anger can also lead to physical outbursts that can put you in trouble with the law.
Anger is a strong and powerful emotion. If it isn t handled appropriately, it may have destructive results for you and those closest to you. Uncontrolled anger can lead to arguments, physical abuse, physical fights, self-harm and assault. On the other hand, well-managed anger can be a useful emotion that motivates you to make positive changes

ANGER MANAGEMENT - SUGGESTIONS FOR LONG-TERM ANGER MANAGMENT 
The way you typically express anger may take some time to modify. Suggestions include:

Keep a diary of your anger outbursts, to try and understand how and why you get mad. 
Learn relaxation techniques, such as meditation or yoga. 
Consider assertiveness training, or learning about techniques of conflict resolution. 
See a counsellor or psychologist if you still feel angry about events that occurred in your past. 
Exercise regularly.
BENEFITS OF REGULAR EXERCISE IN MOOD MANAGEMENT
People who are stressed are more likely to experience anger. Studies have documented that regular exercise can reduce stress levels and improve one's mood. This may be because physical exertion burns up stress chemicals, and it also boosts production of mood-regulating neurotransmitters in the brain, including endorphins and catecholamines.

TEACHING CHILDREN HOW TO EXPRESS ANGER
Expressing anger appropriately is a learned behaviour. Suggestions on helping your child to deal with strong feelings include:

Lead by example. 
Treat your child s feelings with respect. 
Let them know that anger is natural and should be expressed appropriately. 
Teach practical problem-solving skills. 
Encourage open and honest communication in the home. 
Explain the difference between aggression and anger. 
Teach your child different ways of calming and soothing themselves. 
Punish aggression or violence, but not appropriately expressed anger.

Kill The Anger Before It Kills You!

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