
A new relationship involves a lot of weighing from both the sides. Learn what really matters to win people over in this post. When you want to build a new relationship, whether it is for work, business, personal, marriage, friendship etc there are several factors that help take off and bloom the relationship. These factors are broadly the same in different age groups as far as psychological impact matters. Some of the most important influential factors from a psychological point of view have been highlighted here. 

1. Presentation- When you want to draw someone into relationship with you for any reason, it is important that you present yourself at you best levels be it physical or mental. Like they say that the first impression is the best impression, your display of you strengths creates an impression that helps people decide what they want to do with you. This doesn't mean you should hide all your weaknesses but highlighting your strengths is as important as making your weaknesses clear. Always learn to put your best foot forward as sometimes that itself may not be enough. You can't really send your neighbour for your job interview!! There are many instances when people send different photographs in their applications and different ones appear for the exams. This is mere cheating and not winning.

2. Plan – Let people know what you want to do with them and what they can they can do with you. No one can say they don’t have a plan. There is always some plan. Knowing it strengthens why you want to have that relationship in the first place. Otherwise it's like something which is there but you can never want to do anything with! When you are honest with your plans and they workout as you described it, it creates confidence in relationship or else it is destroyed forever. You can cheat a person with your plans once, not forever.

3. Possibilities- Will this relationship bring me trouble? Obviously nobody wants to get into a relationship with anybody that brings them trouble be it physical or mental. Next question is whether it will benefit me? Small or big depends on person's needs. Some relationships neither bring us trouble nor benefits us, such relationships are better than the ones which can cause harm.

4. Potential – Question. Does this relationship you are trying to develop have any possibilities of growth a few or many years down the line. Obviously we have a lot of friends who wither by passing of time. Does this relationship have an expiry date irrespective of how well or bad it goes? Like when we join college we know for sure that the friends will be with us till the duration of the course and that's it. We will know that if we study together it will help us achieve great grades in college and hence a great life later. These kind of growth possibilities or possibilities of deterioration are important to be well aware of and will naturally decide the course of relationships.

5. Progress – No matter what our initial assessments are, how the relationships helps us fare in the outside world will ultimately decide the future of any relationship. Loss, sorrow, tragedy, degradation in any aspect of life, insults, injury, loss of health etc will never help any relationship continue or last.

6. Partnerships – When we want to build a relationship with someone, the best way to do it is to obviously partner with that person in as many activities as possible. The more interested a person is the more activities that person will involve you in and try to do it with you. This type of partnership activities, be it spending a few hours in the evening, or a few minutes on phone, or an association of months or years are a foolproof way to show you are interested. Conversely a person who doesn't partner with you in anything is extremely unlikely to ever have any sort of relationship with you. Partnership in activities is the only way to show and know that you are interested or the other person is interested respectively. After all chasing the moon, stars and rainbow are activities of people who don’t realize its out of their reach. Sensible people are busy with what their eyes see, hands feel, ears listen, tongue tastes and thinking perceives as appropriate.

7. Positioning attitudes- As a tree bends with the winds to prevent from cracking, we all have to be flexible with our attitudes towards each other. Being too rigid about our protocol on how relationships should run irrespective of the reality and circumstances of the person we are having a relationship with is naturally going to break relationships. After all a doctor who heals and prevents all illnesses is better than a doctor who abuses his patients for falling ill but never does anything for them. Eg: You get bed and good food in a hotel as well as at your home. A hotel will provide food only on payment of money, but family will provide it whenever your hungry. Hence hotels can never expect the same emotions as family can, and this is as natural as it should be. Hence be careful what you want from a relationship. Whether you want to be treated as a hotel or family is entirely how you play yourself with others. After all only families can expect loyalty not hotels.

8. Politeness- In any relationship, many years down the line, what our long term memory retains is how comfortable we were in that relationship. Even if we profit from a particular relationship, the fact that it shook us mentally and emotionally will never allow us to go back or retain that relationship. Life is short and the only thing that matters is to spend it comfortably. Not destroy our peace for some benefit that destroys our peace of mind.

9. Personation- While sending a representative of your organization for a client meeting may work in business, you cant really send a representative to meet you wife or kids at home. In personal relationship, lack of your physical presence obviously means that you don’t have time for them. In any relationship, individuality matters a lot. Just imagine, if all actors acted exactly the same in movies, why would you prefer any particular one over the other as your favourite? The nuances and differences in our personalities are what makes us all unique. We are not robots from a particular brand to behave exactly the same way. If a person in a relationship doesn't sense your individuality you are wasting their time by trying to have a relationship with them, especially a personal one.

10. Positive reinforcement- When we get into a relationship, it is important that we feel good about ourselves and what we are doing. If you feel like a shoplifter entering a shop, you will not feel good about that relationship. When a shopkeeper welcomes us, shows us his products, tells us their details and provides all the explanations on how we will be well off with the product, provides his guarantee for it, confirms its essence, many people buy it even if they don’t compulsively need it. It’s the same in relationships. On the same side if a shopkeeper is arrogant, avoidant, abusive, insulting etc you are very unlikely to buy anything in that shop because you are not sure that the shopkeeper means any good and will be happy with the shopkeeper s product. The experience of buying is as important as the product we buy. Nobody is happy about something they got when they weren't treated the right way or is interested in retaining it when they don’t get good service for it.

11. Persistence on all Ps – Obviously when we want relationships to last, we need to be persistent on all the above P's. Otherwise it wont take long for a relationship to be counted in “once upon a time”!! A simple conversation even if for a few minutes every now and then when you need it may make it seem that you are still there for a person. Without even that people may even find it hard to remember that they even had something to do with you sometime before keeping in mind the the numerous activities we involve daily to maintain our lifestyles.

“KNOWING IS DOING AND NOT KNOWING IS UNDOING EVEN IF DOING!”

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

From Lybrate: If you found this tip useful, please thank the doctor by clicking on the heart icon below. Also, spread good health by sharing this tip with your loved ones over WhatsApp, Facebook and other media.


How To Win Over New Relationships

In order to determine whether a person is having a drug problem, there are several signs, which can be interpreted to know about the exact drug abuse state of a person. Drug abuse requires immediate attention before it becomes more problematic. There are several patterns and stages of drug use that have been listed below:

1. Hard drug use: Heroin, cocaine and methamphetamine fall under the category of hard drugs and are the most dangerous drugs. There are severe effects on the health and behavior of a user of hard drugs. Some people use these kinds of drugs for recreational purposes, but some can get addicted just after using them once. Such people usually isolate themselves from society and possess a high-risk behavior.

2. Frequent drug use: Frequency alone cannot determine whether a person is addicted to a certain drug. Some people may take drugs only once and twice a week, but still suffer from acute addiction. Frequency of drug use may indicate tolerance and a person may require more with each day. Frequent drug users usually keep on continuing the habit and it is hard for them to quit.

3. Early drug use: Some people start taking drugs at an early age during adolescence, and they are likely to develop severe drug problems later in life. People who take drugs before the age of fifteen turn out to be addicts as they grow up. The earlier a person uses drugs, the earlier he becomes addicted. Early drug use is a common phenomenon in today's world.

4. Solitary drug use: Using drugs and addictive substances while a person is alone may result in fatal addiction and various problems in life. Teenagers using alcohol, marijuana and cigarettes are prone to serious drug problems during adulthood. Solitary drug users are usually poor in studies and have a violent or abusive behavior.

5. Escapist drug use: Many people use drugs for dealing with stress, several problems in life or for building self esteem. These are used as a substitute for escapism, which allows a person to escape from reality to a place where nothing bothers them and they can be at peace. Such people are likely to develop drug problems. Some people may experiment with drugs just for the sake of trying, but slowly they may like it and get addicted. This causes several problems in life, and a drug problem arises. Such drug problems may affect the health in many severe ways.

Drugs are used in several patterns. All people do not use drugs in the same pattern and frequency. The pattern of drug use by a person lets the doctor determine the level of drug abuse he is on, or if he is addicted.

Patterns of Drug Abuse

Is there anybody you know who uses internet excessively in a day, like for playing video games, visiting porn sites, for online shopping, using Facebook or visiting different chatting sites again and again? Is his or her excessive internet usage interfering with daily life, interpersonal relationships, work, school, etc.? If the answer is yes, then maybe he or she is suffering from internet addiction.

Internet addiction is a growing social issue which is being debated worldwide. Internet has become an inseparable part of our daily living. Problematic use of internet can lead us to various mental and physical problems. Surveys in the United States and Europe have indicated alarming prevalence rates between 1.5 and8.2percentages respectively.There are some criteria to classify and diagnose internet addiction disorder. 

The following 5 criteria are required to diagnose internet addiction:

The individual remain preoccupied with the internet (thinks about previous online activity or anticipate next online session)

Needs to use internet with increased amounts of time in order to achieve satisfaction.

Has made unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back, or stop internet use.

Is restless, moody, depressed, or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop internet use.

Has stayed online longer than originally intended.

Additionally, at least one of the following must be present:

Risked the loss of a significant relationship, job, educational or career opportunity because of the internet.

Lying to conceal the extent of involvement with the internet.

Use internet as a way of escaping from problems or of relieving a dysphoric mood (like; feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, depression)

There are different models available to explain the causal factor of internet addiction disorder. A comprehensive model of the development and maintenance of internet addiction by Winkler & Dorsing which takes into account socio-cultural factors, biological vulnerabilities like genetic factors, abnormalities in neurochemical processes, psychological predispositions and specific attributes of the internet to explain excessive engagement in internet activities.

Apart from the above discussed points, there are two significant psychological issues commonly seen in this group; one is a strong tendency to escape from the reality is there among internet addicts. These individuals find difficulty in facing the real world may be due to certain conflict issues which evoke stress and anxiety in them. Involvement with technology and internet becomes a way out to get rid of the discomfort. Another psychological issue is the tendency to control the environment. Humans have a tendency to get a control over everything and it is a fact that we can't control other persons and situations. Internet addicts are involved in this compulsive behaviour may be because it is easy to get a control of technology and internet than the real world which is more threatening for them.

Impact of problematic usage of internet on social relationships has become alarming nowadays. The habit of surfing the internet continuously can be destructive indirectly. Even it has been seen that people drift away to the point that he/she cannot interact with people. Constant preoccupation with internet is damaging one s social skills. People are losing touch with their life and their self-identity. Nowadays people don t take effort to establish face to face conversations, as many easy ways are available over internet, like chat messengers, email, etc. The constant effects of addiction to internet can lead an individual to such situations that involve various mental and behavioural problems like. Depression, anxiety, substance abuse, etc. The absence of social interaction also can lead to various physical effects on individual s brain chemistry and the general physical health.

There has been lots of debate on which treatment modality is effective for the treatment of Internet Addiction Disorder. In many cases, multimodal treatments have been employed. It has been seen that there are lots of underlying psychological problems found in internet addicts, like anxiety, depression, etc. In such cases medications are also considered to be effective.

Apart from pharmacological interventions, different psychotherapeutic models are found to be very helpful in treating internet addiction like cognitive therapy, behaviour therapy, art therapy, family therapy, skill building training, etc. Studies have found cognitive behavioural therapy, in particular, is very effective and can bring better outcome among this group.

Internet Addiction - A Thriving Issue!

Cell phones have become a compulsory device for our times, as they give us access to voice and data services in almost every part of the world. Hazardous effects of cell phones are significant because they are kept on our bodies, in our pockets, or held in our hands. In a recent publication, it was seen that 56% of children between the ages of 10 13 have a smartphone. Also, it is seen that 25% of children between the ages of 2 and 5 have a smartphone. School-grade students today beg for smartphones more than even new dresses or shoes.

Effect of Using Mobile Phones on Speech and Communication

In today s era, children using handheld devices are more likely to have delays in expressive speech. These children start talking much later than their peers. Since the cell phone does not respond back to their communication, children cannot develop a communication channel with it. Soon, they get accustomed to using signs and symbols for things rather than asking for the same. They just get used to the mechanical model of handling cell phones by following few simple steps. In human beings, speech is mastered gradually and progressively. If the child skips on the fundamentals of speech, which requires constant repetition of letters, consonants, syllables, and words, his speech tends to get delayed.

As per famous research conducted in Toronto, it was found that with every 30 minutes of screen time, the risk of delayed speech increased by 49%. Usually, infants should be able to communicate in sentences between three and four words, by the age of 2-3 years. However, those who spent the most time on handheld devices were found to struggle with communication skills. As per another popular study conducted in the UK, electronic gadgets may be blamed for 70% rise in speech problems in 6 years. Another famous study conducted in University College London found that screen time also had an impact on sleep of infants, which affected their brains.

As per the opinion of education leaders and speech specialists, many children are deprived of conversation with their family since they spend a lot of time on electronic devices. The noise and activity on a screen can distract a small child and cause a disconnect between them and their parents. Screen time is slowly replacing parent-child interactions which are critical for healthy development.

How to address this issue?

The best way to teach language to children is by interacting with them, talking with them, using different vocabulary, playing with them, being creative, and pointing things out to them. However, if you feel that owing to negligence your child already has issues with his speech and communication, then visiting a professional speech therapist and counselor can make a huge difference.

Effects Of Using Mobile Phones On Speech & Communication!

Speech therapy helps in improving the speech, understanding the language skills, and also help in communicating in non-verbal ways such as listening and taking turns. Speech therapy treats various kinds of communication and swallowing problems.

Children with Cleft Palate are diagnosed with an opening in the upper tissue palate in the mouth. This condition causes Velopharyngeal dysfunction (VPD) which results in excessive airflow from the nose while speaking. Although it can be corrected with surgery, the patient will still be affected by VPD.

Speech therapists help in this condition by assisting the patient with speech and language skills. The speech therapy for such a patient can be categorized as auditory feedback and articulation practice.

Auditory Feedback

Before involving the patient with any speech therapy, it is essential for the patient to understand the difference between normal voice and nasal voice output.

For this purpose, the child is instructed to use a tube to listen to the voice of the normal person. To understand the difference, one end of the tube is then held near the ear of the child and the other is held near his nasal and then he is instructed to make sounds so that he understands the nasal voice.

After this understanding, the different approaches to speech therapy starts.

Articulation Practice

This is usually where speech therapy begins. In this practice, the different type of condition is understood that relates to different speech organs. The understanding of different vowels, consonants and related sounds is taught to the child for making the speaking sound less nasal.

Some of the methods for achieving these sounds are:

Pharyngeal Plosives: This sound is produced when the tongue is moving backward. The practice of making  ng  sound, and dropping the tongue and producing  k  sound.

Pharyngeal fricatives: When the tongue retracts but is not able to make contact with the pharyngeal wall is when this sound is produced. The speech therapists make the child learn the techniques of making sounds of  t ,  ts ,  ch , or  sh , and provide feedback for learning the proper positioning of the tongue.

Nasal Plosives: This sound usually occurs when the tongue is positioned improperly and it obstructs the vocal tract. A speech therapist may make the child yawn so that the back of the tongue is pushed down, and feel as the mouth stretches.

Palatal-Dorsal Productions: It occurs due to the malocclusion of the teeth. Practicing sounds like  t ,  d ,  n ,  k ,  g , and  ng  often helps in such condition.

Take Away
Cleft Palate is generally developed due to improper growth while the child was in the womb. The difficulty of producing proper sounds when there is excessive airflow in the mouth can be overcome by training and practicing certain sounds, as instructed by a speech therapist.

 Cleft Palate - How Efficient Is Speech Therapy?

If you are living with bipolar disorder then you will need a combination of skills to successfully combat each day of your life. Educating yourself about the disorder is the first step, however, there are certain tips that can come in handy on numerous occasions. 

Here are 5 tips that will really help you out:

Educate yourself about the disorder: The first thing you need to do is educate yourself about the details of bipolar disorder. Find out about the symptoms, read about the causes and the diagnosis procedure and ultimately find out everything about the treatment. Your doctor will provide you all the information and suggest you all the required treatment procedures. However, don t try to self-diagnose and self-treat your disorder without an expert opinion.
Stay connected with your friends and loved ones: Isolation is not the best way to handle bipolar disorder. The more you isolate yourself the higher the risk of mood swings. This lack of connection will lead to depression and that should be avoided at all cost. So try to be as connected to the world as possible. Talk to your family members, hangout with your friends, spend time with people around you; and you will feel a lot better.
Track the symptoms: Keep a daily log of your moods, thoughts and behaviors. This is a fantastic way to track the symptoms of the disorder. This will be revealing in the end, as when you present them before the doctor, he/she will be able to easily diagnose your condition. Try to keep track of particular incidents that may trigger any stress and change in behavior and log the mood episodes that you may have experienced pertaining to those triggers.
Employ coping mechanisms: It is not always possible to call on your doctor or counselor, so try to develop your own coping mechanism with the help of your doctor or counselor. Your mood episodes are going to be spontaneous so the coping mechanisms should be kept in mind. It can be anything that induces calmness in you such as staying connected, happy thoughts, music and any other healthy habits that captures your interest and engages you in something else.
Create a crisis plan: Create a contact list that will include the people, serially, who should be contacted in case of an emergency or a crisis attack. If you feel like you are experiencing any symptoms then contact them for help. When you are out of control, you will not have much time, so it is also advised to keep emergency numbers on speed dial to get yourself hospitalized without any time loss. Add your loved ones to the emergency contact list.


Suffering from Bipolar Disorder - 5 Things That Can Really Help!

Don't wait any longer, manage your Counselling Psychologist online with a Lybrate doctor today

Consult for Counselling Psychologist - Online and Easy!

FilterClear All

COMMON SPECIALITIES

COMMON ISSUES