Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding and not a binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on how you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And, failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticise and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn't! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don't happen your way but have you tried to 'express' your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships results in frustration, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the 'progress' in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not up to it. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A 'No' from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don't want to do that right now! Feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you're taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C's : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using 'I feel' statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you're taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Have an open mind. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that...) 'Gunnysacking; (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in 'Summarizing self-syndrome' where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other's perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on 'Catastrophizing' i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
Get rid of 'Stereotyping'; (generalizing - all men are like..) and 'Gunnysacking' (cropping up issues from the past having no relevance to current problem).
Don't send double messages- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it is open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner's perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to well-being as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

Are You Happily (n)Ever After?

Depression is a mental health disorder where one experiences lack of interest in activities and has a continuously depressed mood which can lead to serious impairments in that person s daily life.

Day by day, the number of patients suffering from depression is increasing. More than the facts, it is various myths people hear that makes them more vulnerable when suffering from this mental health disorder. Below are the 5 common myths and facts regarding depression.

Myth #1: Lazy people suffer from depression
People who have a lethargic life suffer from depression and hardworking people never experience it. This is probably one of the most widely believed myths about depression. However, in reality, it is excessive work pressure and overworking and the feeling that they are bound with responsibilities and are being exploited at the workplace that causes depression. Anyone can develop this mental condition, and workload and lifestyle do not always have something to do with depression.

Myth #2: Women are the main victims of depression
Another popular myth regarding depression is that it is women who mainly suffer from it. Yes, it is true that women are more sensitive than men, but developing depression has nothing to do with gender. Anyone, at any age, at any time, can suffer from depression.

Myth #3: Talking can never help in easing depression
There are some people who believe that depression is a mental health disorder, is only treated with psychiatric medicines that can help in dealing with this condition. However, what they don't understand is that doing something constructive and having positive conversations with their loved ones can actually benefit their mental health. Even, psychiatrists believe that talking sessions are one of the ways of treating depression.

Myth #4: Depression is the same as sadness
Consistently unhappy and sad people are often considered as being depressed. However, the fact is that both sadness and depression are two different things. While one can get over the former condition of feeling low and sad; suffering from depression leads to chemical changes inside the brain, causing changes in the behaviour, thinking, etc. of the affected person, thereby persistently damaging the daily life.

Myth #5: There s no link between depression and Physical exercise
Many people assume that physical exercise isn't helpful in dealing with depression since it is a mental illness and not a physical condition. However, the fact is that moderate amount of physical exercise not only helps in improving mental aspects but also boosts the concentration power of the person.

No matter how mild or serious the form of depression one suffers from, opting for psychiatric help becomes crucial to avoid risks of deterioration of the condition in any way. After all, a professional psychiatrist can not only help one suffering from depression by treating them with necessary medications and therapies but also help in differentiating the facts from the myths thoroughly.

5 Myths About Depression Debunked!

Anger is a type of feeling whereas aggression is a type of behaviour. However, the two are frequently confused with each other. At different times individuals use their anger as a reason to act in an aggressive way. Here are a few differences between anger and aggression:

Anger is an acceptable feeling simply like bliss or sadness. Everybody feels angry once in a while. However, numerous individuals deny that they ever feel angry. For others, they have a tendency to wind up being angry to conceal different sentiments and emotions, for example, hurt and sadness. Angry sentiments can discharge endorphins, which are very powerful chemicals inside the body. This rush of energy can help individuals to alleviate themselves from feeling sad or hurt. Nonetheless, covering these very basic and fundamental feelings with anger is not a sound and healthy coping mechanism. Feeling angry is all right, however, the practice that people show when they feel angry may fall into the category of aggression. Anger is a very normal and typical feeling.

Aggression, on the other hand, is a decision. Just because you feel angry and furious does not give you the authorization to treat others poorly. Forceful practices tend to scare the other individual into doing something whether they need to or not. At the point when individuals carry on forcefully, they do not recognise the other individual's sentiments or necessities. Rather, they want the other individual to give in. There are a bunch of approaches to carry on aggressively and it might turn out to be physically injurious. Verbal types of aggression involve making threats or demands. It might incorporate verbally abusing or putting the other individual down. Physical types of aggression may incorporate tossing things, breaking things, hammering things, or physical assaults.

Aggressive conduct can be separated into different classes. These include instrumental aggression and receptive aggression. Instrumental aggression is objective guided aggression in which harm to another is not the essential objective, despite the fact that it can be an optional consequence of the activity. Another sort of aggression is called responsive aggression. Once in a while, it is referred to as hostile aggression. Responsive aggression is conduct that has harm as its primary and in some cases secondary objective. As a rule, this activity is because of an apparent unfairness, insult, or wrongdoing.

Anger is an impermanent emotional state brought on by disappointment and frustration. Aggression, on the other hand, is a regular attempt to hurt a person or to destroy property. In evaluating the conduct, try to make out the difference between anger and aggression that demonstrates emotional issues so as to lead a more normal and well-adjusted life. One can also take the help of anger management or therapy for better evaluation of the source of anger and its surrounding feelings. 

How to Differentiate Between Anger and Aggression?

You may think that it is just a harmless drink or two at the end of the day to help you relax. it's just a few drinks when you get together with friends. or it's just that you need to get rid of the office stress. We all need to catch a break sometimes, which makes our favorite brand of drink our best friend. Trouble starts when 'a drink or two' moves to a level where you can't hold the drink anymore. It affects your ability to think straight and take decisions that you may regret in retrospect. Alcoholism not only has serious health consequences but also can ruin your life and relationships. Don't tread down the path of self destruction, or this is what you'll find:
1.        Conflict: It is not a coincidence that fights are common when one or both partners are caught up with alcohol abuse. It is said that if there is too much alcohol in your system, it hampers with your ability to make rational decisions. It allows you to become inconsiderate about others, and give more importance your addiction over their requirements. It, to an extent, numbs you to what others feel, and makes you drink even more.
2.        Financial loss: Alcohol costs money. And the more you spend to keep up with your addiction, the more money flows out of your monthly household expenses, monthly savings and retirement plans. And this money literally goes down the drain. Like any other addiction, once you start alcohol abuse, you need it everyday. Drinking may go on to impact your ability to hold on to your job as no one will eventually want to hire someone who has alcohol on their breath at 9 am during client meetings. Alcohol is a strict restriction in certain professions where you may put other people at risk. At the very best, you'll be left with a warning. At the worst, you'll lose your job and end up with no work and no money to support your addiction.
3.        Accident prone: In 2014, 9,967 people died in drunk driving crashes - one every 53 minutes. This may sound only like a statistic to you - until you speak to the families who lost their loved ones or have to see them suffer through loss of limbs or brain function to bear lifelong suffering. And as far as you are concerned, you may end up seeing the wrong end of a prison. Such things have a profound impact on your relationship - many of which fail to last through the ordeal. 
4.        Infidelity: You've seen it a thousand times in movies - which actually might get reflected in reality, if you wake up next to someone whose name you don't know. 
5.        Infertility: Alcohols and babies don't mix. Too much alcohol intake can stop women from making and keeping a baby. 
6.        Divorce: An alcoholic husband or wife is a valid ground of mental trauma applicable in a divorce. 

6 Ways How Alcohol Abuse Can Ruin Your Relationship

When it comes to the brain and IQ, is bigger better? Does size really matter? Is there really a connection between the size of your brain and intelligence? With the help of findings by neurologists and scientists, we seek to find out!

Ailments and the brain: Scientists have found that children with autism have a brain that has grown in a disproportionate manner in the very first year of their life. This prevents the child from making connection in a normal manner. On the other hand, children and adolescents who suffer from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD show sign of having a much smaller brain size. Many scientists have shown that the size of the brain shrinks as we age and this does not have any visible effect on our cognitive abilities.
It s all relative: The size of the brain does not really have a bearing on the way a person s cognition gets shaped. Even large mammals like elephants and whales are finally hunted and tamed by humans who have smaller brains in comparison. The brain is made up of billions of neurons, which need to function properly. It may be seen that scientists consider the brain mass in relation with the rest of the body so as to speculate about the cognitive abilities of the person. Why is this required? Large animals need a well functioning and proportionate brain size to control and run their organs with proper cognition for satisfactory results, which is what we humans seem to have done.
Neanderthal brain: Historically, the earliest man or the Neanderthals are said to have had larger brains than we do. These people are believed to have brains that are at least 10% larger than the brains that we have in our modern times. The shape of their brain was different too. They were also heavily muscled people which had a bearing on the size and shape of the brain and bodies as well as the lean tissue within the brain. They also survived very successfully for a period of over 200,000 years, which obviously points to some form of elevated cognition, as per many scientists.
Animals: While animals with small brains like lizards and reptiles do not perform too well on IQ tests, the animals with bigger brains like elephants and dolphins perform much better. But the medium sized brain of monkeys, lemurs and other animals are said to perform in the best manner. The correlation between the body size and the brain does not seem to hold good here, as per various researches.
So the verdict as per medical science and research stands divided!

Brain Size and Intelligence - Are the Two Related?

Sound travels through different parts of the hearing system to produce the ultimate sense of sound in the brain. People can hear when a sound wave stimulates the neurological component of the inner ear and takes the sound signals to the brain.

When there is a problem with the ear, human beings cannot hear, or hear garbled sounds. Hearing loss may have different reasons. There may be a tumor in the ear, a problem with the eardrum, the inner ear or the neurological structure. Different conditions can plague the hearing system and cause hearing loss. Some of these conditions can be serious and require medical intervention.

Let us discuss 3 such conditions where the intervention of an audiologist is a must.

Tinnitus and Vertigo

 Tinnitus is a medical term for a sense of ringing in the ears. It s annoying, to say the least. But more importantly, it could be a sign of hearing loss. This is why people need to see an audiologist if they have a sense of Tinnitus for a prolonged time. An audiologist can first diagnose the condition, and can then treat this problem with the help of specialized hearing aids.

 Vertigo and dizziness are the other two problems that result from a hearing system problem. It may create balance disorders. It is said that vertigo originates in the inner ear. Vertigo can also be treated with the help of physical therapy and medicine.

 Sudden Hearing Loss

 The human ear cannot hear sounds greater than 85 dB in intensity and 20,000 Hertz in tone. If the sound tone is less than 20 Hertz, then too the human ear is not able to hear anything. Between these two polarities, the human ear is able to catch all types of sounds. If human beings are exposed to sound waves of more than 85 dB in intensity, the ears may get damaged. In that case one may suffer from hearing loss. If a person has recently experienced huge changes in air pressure, exposed to blaring music or noise at close quarters, or had an accident causing loss of hearing, one needs to see an audiologist. The ears need to be assessed for trauma, if any, and treated quickly. However, hearing loss may have other reasons too such as reactions to medicines, head injury or some kind of illness that affects the hearing system. An audiologist would be able to make the right determination.

 Recurrent Ear Infections

This is common in children, but that does not mean that adults are immune to it. If there is chronic ear pain, difficulty in hearing along with drainage and fever or a feeling of pressure, an ear infection is most likely. Any doctor can detect an ear infection, however, if it is a recurrent one needs to see an audiologist. He has the wherewithal to evaluate the middle ear with different tests. A person may need treatment that only an audiologist can do.

There can be many situations in which a visit to an Audiologist is warranted; the above 3 are just a tip of the iceberg.

Audiologist - Why To Visit One?

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