Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding and not a binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on how you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And, failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticise and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn't! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don't happen your way but have you tried to 'express' your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships results in frustration, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the 'progress' in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not up to it. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A 'No' from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don't want to do that right now! Feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you're taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C's : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using 'I feel' statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you're taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Have an open mind. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that...) 'Gunnysacking; (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in 'Summarizing self-syndrome' where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other's perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on 'Catastrophizing' i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
Get rid of 'Stereotyping'; (generalizing - all men are like..) and 'Gunnysacking' (cropping up issues from the past having no relevance to current problem).
Don't send double messages- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it is open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner's perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to well-being as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

Are You Happily (n)Ever After?

4 Life Lessons to Learn from Kangana Ranaut

Despite being an outsider in the industry, Kangana Ranaut has made her mark in Bollywood. The 'Queen of Bollywood' bagged the National Award in the best actress category for the third time for her double act in the commercial hit Tanu Weds Manu Returns. Ranaut is one of the highest paid actresses in India and is known for playing emotionally intense roles in films like Gangster and Woh Lamhe. But behind the fame and the glory, lies a story of struggle and constant perseverance. Kangana's rise to fame did not happen overnight, and her travails and triumphs have quite a few important lessons stored for all of us.

Here are 4 inspiring life lessons to take away from Kangana's real life story.

1. Be Yourself

Accept yourself and embrace the person you are. Making desperate attempts to fit in a social circle or trying to make people like you could turn depressing. Be yourself and don't compromise on your identity and be afraid to have a mind of your own. Kangana has constantly inspired us to be rebellious and to question stereotypes and sexism.

'People in the industry treated me like I didn't deserve to be spoken to and I was some unwanted object. I couldn't speak English fluently and people made fun of me for that. So dealing with rejection became a part of life...Today, when people say that I have made it and made it on my own.'

She said on an interview with Daily News and Analysis

2. Deal with your relationship problems

Stop tolerating abuse. Your partner is supposed to love and support you and not hurt you physically or emotionally. Don't be afraid of getting out of a relationship. It might be difficult and hard to deal with but it's best to get over with and start afresh. Ranaut was in a relationship with Aditya Pancholi, which turned sour after he assaulted her. Later she was also in a relationship with Adhyayan Suman and Nicholas Lafferty, an English doctor, which did not last either, but she always moved on with her head held high, personifying dignity.

3. Beat the odds

There might situations when your family does not support your career choices but don't let that stop you from going ahead with it. Believe in yourself and work hard on your goals. Kangana Ranaut inspires us to not give up easily. In spite of being an industry outsider, Ranaut made her mark with remarkable performances in Fashion, Queen, Woh Lamhe and Tanu Weds Manu. She quit pursuing medical and went for modeling instead and refused to take financial aid from her father. In short, don't give up on your dreams no matter how difficult it gets.

4. There is no end to learning

You can always continue with your interests even if you have a very busy professional life. Make time for your hobbies and interests as they expand your outlook. Ranaut learns Kathak as she enjoys dancing and considers it as a form of therapy. She also did a course on the technical aspects of filmmaking from New York Film Academy. She did not let her stardom affect her personal interests and wants to have a normal life.

'I don't want to lose my rights as a common person to learn and grow'

She said on an interview with Filmfare.



4 Life Lessons to Learn from Kangana Ranaut

Ayurveda is a renowned life science that has been credited with changing lives since ancient times. Not only can it prevent diseases and ailments, but it can also cure them with its combination of herbal medication, everyday routine and yogic poses. Weight management is a field that also enjoys various Ayurvedic remedies. Some of them are as follows.

Herbs: Herbs are a way of healing used by Ayurveda, and the use of various herbs can help in hastening the metabolism for healthy weight management.

Taste: Ayurveda recognizes six distinct tastes that should be incorporated into one's daily diet. These tastes include salty, pungent, sour, sweet, bitter and finally, astringent. Each of these tastes has several properties that balance the various hormones and health factors in one's body. These tastes form the various counterpoints to alleviate all kinds of health problems, which finally help in effective weight management. Also, one must eat all the seasonal fruits and vegetables to keep the body and hormones in good balance.
 
Exercise: While a daily routine of exercise is a must in any life science, Ayurveda too propagates the devotion of at least 45 minutes to one hour towards some form of exercise. Walking is said to be the most important and effective forms of exercise, followed by several yoga poses that can help in better weight management. Also, as per Ayurveda, it is important to move after each and every meal, so that a routine of eating and activity is built into the system. 

Sleep: Ayurveda recognizes sleep or rest as one of the most important aspects of a healthy lifestyle. While good eating habits and exercise form one side of it, sleep or rest completes the triangle. One can also practice the Savasana or resting pose for a period of rest. And at least six to seven hours of sleep is a must as per Ayurveda.

Meditation: This practice helps in focusing on awareness which can instil the desired function like weight management in the body. Being mindful of what your body needs can also help in eating and exercising right.

Weight management is a lifelong process in Ayurveda.

Weight Management and Ayurveda

Anger is an emotion found in every human being. There is nothing wrong with being angry. However, if it gets out of hand there might be serious consequences. Knowing a few things about anger management might help the next time you are struggling to manage anger. 

The Wrong Approach
Before knowing, what are the right things to do, it is necessary to know what doesn t work well. This will give a better insight on anger management. 

Often, we think suppressing anger might be the right thing to do. But, it is not. Trying not to react to a situation and keeping it under wraps, might affect your health and can even be the root cause of heart disease. However, suppressing it often lessens the intensity of the anger.
Just like suppressing it is not a good idea, venting it out completely is not the right approach as well. Venting might help you to cool down faster later on, but initially, it might hurt the other person and also have a negative impact on health. Venting anger occasionally will also make the person aggressive in nature.
Thinking or using words like always, never, should/shouldn t, must/mustn t do not usually help. Thinking about  he should never talk to me like that  or  they are always being unfair to me , brings about negativity and doesn t help in calming down.
The Right Approach

Counting to 10, the age old approach to anger management often helps in cooling down and giving a clear perspective. When we are angry, we end up saying and doing things we don t mean to. Counting gives us some time and helps us calm down a bit.
Breathe slowly when you are angry, say experts.  Instead of talking or reacting to the situation, just breathe in and out slowly. When you breathe out more, your body will calm down and make you relax.
Talk to someone who understands you when you are angry. Instead of venting out or suppressing it, talk it out with a friend or a family member. Tell them your feelings and why you are angry. This will help you a lot in relaxing. It works as a counselling session.
To manage anger, in the long run, one should always lead a healthy lifestyle. It means not just having a healthy diet, but also having proper sleep, not being stressed about anything, doing exercise, etc. 
Doing something creative often takes your mind away from angry feelings. Join a dance class, an art workshop, start keeping a journal, it will definitely help in the long run.
Leave the place immediately for few moments and drink water slowly when angry. Don't prolong the anger, come back and start conversation normally.

Anger Management - What Works and What Doesn't

Schizophrenia has been recognized as a mental disorder that combines symptoms like hallucinations with distorted thinking and others like fright and severe paranoia. This condition is one that gets progressively worse over time and leads to delusional thinking. Oversleeping and complaining of fatigue are usually the earliest signs of this condition's onset. Eventually, it becomes a debilitating factor in the life of the patient, who will not be able to function in a normal way due to the severe symptoms.

Read on to know more about the types and causes of this condition:

Genetic Causes: Schizophrenia may be caused due to genetic factors and it may be a learned or inherited disorder. It is known to affect patients who have a parent or a sibling who may have suffered from this condition. Yet, one must also remember that Schizophrenia can only be influenced by genetics, and not determined by the same.
Environmental Causes: When there has been an exposure to a viral infection during the pre natal stage, the patient is susceptible to this condition. Also, it may affect children who have been subject to the loss of a parent or separation at an early age. Physical and emotional abuse in one's childhood may also bring on this condition. Low level of oxygen at the time of birth is one of the causes of this condition in many patients.
Anomalies in Brain Structure: When the brain ventricles of the patient are enlarged, he or she may be prone to this condition. Also, anomalies in the temporal lobes and amygdala have links with the onset of this condition.
Types: A wide variety of mental and medical conditions can manifest with psychotic symptoms that must be considered in the differential diagnosis of schizophreniform disorder. These include psychotic disorder due to another medical condition or its treatment; delirium or major neurocognitive disorder; substance/medication-induced psychotic disorder or delirium; depressive or bipolar disorder with psychotic features; schizoaffective disorder; other specified or unspecified bipolar and related disorder; depressive or bipolar disorder with catatonic features; schizophrenia; brief psychotic disorder; delusional disorder; other specified or unspecified schizophrenia spectrum and other psychotic disorder; schizotypal, schizoid, or paranoid personality disorders; autism spectrum disorder; disorders presenting in childhood with disorganized speech; attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder; obsessive-compulsive disorder; posttraumatic stress disorder; and traumatic brain injury.
Since the diagnostic criteria for schizophreniform disorder and schizophrenia differ primarily in duration of illness, the discussion of the differential diagnosis of schizophrenia also applies to schizophreniform disorder. 

Brief psychotic disorder. Schizophreniform disorder differs in duration from brief psychotic disorder, which has a duration of less than 1 month.

Residual Schizophrenia is a condition where the patient does not experience the various debilitating symptoms of the condition, and is on the road to recovery. Yet, even in this type of Schizophrenia, the patient will not really show any interest in life and the activities around him or her. Finally, the last type of Schizophrenia is Schizoaffective Disorder which is characterised by the symptoms of Schizophrenia as well as the symptoms of major mood disorders. When combined, this condition can lead to major complications and complex behavior.

A patient suffering from this condition will need to see a mental health specialist like a psychiatrist or a psychologist on an immediate basis. The treatment will be carried out on a long term basis for the results to start appearing.

Schizophrenia - Know the Causes Behind it

A depressive disorder is not just a passing phase of the mind; it is a condition which involves your body, mind, and thoughts. It comes in the way of your daily life, thereby preventing you from carrying out your regular routine, even making it harder for you to concentrate or work properly. The exact causes are still not known, but as certain studies suggest, it might be hereditary, due to changes in the neuroendocrine functions, or due to other psychological and social factors.

Some of the depressive disorders are:

- Major depressive disorder
- Persistent depressive disorder
- Other specified or unspecified depressive disorders

Others are classified by their causes:

- Premenstrual Dysphoric disorder
- Another medical condition induced depressive disorder
- Substance/Medication-induced depressive disorder

Depressive disorders can set in at any point in time, but primarily, symptoms are visible in your late teens, 20's or your 30's.

Symptoms

For major depression the symptoms are:

1.Feelings of depression throughout the day
2.Significantly diminished interest in all your activities

All You Need to Know about Depressive Disorders

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