
A new relationship involves a lot of weighing from both the sides. Learn what really matters to win people over in this post. When you want to build a new relationship, whether it is for work, business, personal, marriage, friendship etc there are several factors that help take off and bloom the relationship. These factors are broadly the same in different age groups as far as psychological impact matters. Some of the most important influential factors from a psychological point of view have been highlighted here. 

1. Presentation- When you want to draw someone into relationship with you for any reason, it is important that you present yourself at you best levels be it physical or mental. Like they say that the first impression is the best impression, your display of you strengths creates an impression that helps people decide what they want to do with you. This doesn't mean you should hide all your weaknesses but highlighting your strengths is as important as making your weaknesses clear. Always learn to put your best foot forward as sometimes that itself may not be enough. You can't really send your neighbour for your job interview!! There are many instances when people send different photographs in their applications and different ones appear for the exams. This is mere cheating and not winning.

2. Plan – Let people know what you want to do with them and what they can they can do with you. No one can say they don’t have a plan. There is always some plan. Knowing it strengthens why you want to have that relationship in the first place. Otherwise it's like something which is there but you can never want to do anything with! When you are honest with your plans and they workout as you described it, it creates confidence in relationship or else it is destroyed forever. You can cheat a person with your plans once, not forever.

3. Possibilities- Will this relationship bring me trouble? Obviously nobody wants to get into a relationship with anybody that brings them trouble be it physical or mental. Next question is whether it will benefit me? Small or big depends on person's needs. Some relationships neither bring us trouble nor benefits us, such relationships are better than the ones which can cause harm.

4. Potential – Question. Does this relationship you are trying to develop have any possibilities of growth a few or many years down the line. Obviously we have a lot of friends who wither by passing of time. Does this relationship have an expiry date irrespective of how well or bad it goes? Like when we join college we know for sure that the friends will be with us till the duration of the course and that's it. We will know that if we study together it will help us achieve great grades in college and hence a great life later. These kind of growth possibilities or possibilities of deterioration are important to be well aware of and will naturally decide the course of relationships.

5. Progress – No matter what our initial assessments are, how the relationships helps us fare in the outside world will ultimately decide the future of any relationship. Loss, sorrow, tragedy, degradation in any aspect of life, insults, injury, loss of health etc will never help any relationship continue or last.

6. Partnerships – When we want to build a relationship with someone, the best way to do it is to obviously partner with that person in as many activities as possible. The more interested a person is the more activities that person will involve you in and try to do it with you. This type of partnership activities, be it spending a few hours in the evening, or a few minutes on phone, or an association of months or years are a foolproof way to show you are interested. Conversely a person who doesn't partner with you in anything is extremely unlikely to ever have any sort of relationship with you. Partnership in activities is the only way to show and know that you are interested or the other person is interested respectively. After all chasing the moon, stars and rainbow are activities of people who don’t realize its out of their reach. Sensible people are busy with what their eyes see, hands feel, ears listen, tongue tastes and thinking perceives as appropriate.

7. Positioning attitudes- As a tree bends with the winds to prevent from cracking, we all have to be flexible with our attitudes towards each other. Being too rigid about our protocol on how relationships should run irrespective of the reality and circumstances of the person we are having a relationship with is naturally going to break relationships. After all a doctor who heals and prevents all illnesses is better than a doctor who abuses his patients for falling ill but never does anything for them. Eg: You get bed and good food in a hotel as well as at your home. A hotel will provide food only on payment of money, but family will provide it whenever your hungry. Hence hotels can never expect the same emotions as family can, and this is as natural as it should be. Hence be careful what you want from a relationship. Whether you want to be treated as a hotel or family is entirely how you play yourself with others. After all only families can expect loyalty not hotels.

8. Politeness- In any relationship, many years down the line, what our long term memory retains is how comfortable we were in that relationship. Even if we profit from a particular relationship, the fact that it shook us mentally and emotionally will never allow us to go back or retain that relationship. Life is short and the only thing that matters is to spend it comfortably. Not destroy our peace for some benefit that destroys our peace of mind.

9. Personation- While sending a representative of your organization for a client meeting may work in business, you cant really send a representative to meet you wife or kids at home. In personal relationship, lack of your physical presence obviously means that you don’t have time for them. In any relationship, individuality matters a lot. Just imagine, if all actors acted exactly the same in movies, why would you prefer any particular one over the other as your favourite? The nuances and differences in our personalities are what makes us all unique. We are not robots from a particular brand to behave exactly the same way. If a person in a relationship doesn't sense your individuality you are wasting their time by trying to have a relationship with them, especially a personal one.

10. Positive reinforcement- When we get into a relationship, it is important that we feel good about ourselves and what we are doing. If you feel like a shoplifter entering a shop, you will not feel good about that relationship. When a shopkeeper welcomes us, shows us his products, tells us their details and provides all the explanations on how we will be well off with the product, provides his guarantee for it, confirms its essence, many people buy it even if they don’t compulsively need it. It’s the same in relationships. On the same side if a shopkeeper is arrogant, avoidant, abusive, insulting etc you are very unlikely to buy anything in that shop because you are not sure that the shopkeeper means any good and will be happy with the shopkeeper s product. The experience of buying is as important as the product we buy. Nobody is happy about something they got when they weren't treated the right way or is interested in retaining it when they don’t get good service for it.

11. Persistence on all Ps – Obviously when we want relationships to last, we need to be persistent on all the above P's. Otherwise it wont take long for a relationship to be counted in “once upon a time”!! A simple conversation even if for a few minutes every now and then when you need it may make it seem that you are still there for a person. Without even that people may even find it hard to remember that they even had something to do with you sometime before keeping in mind the the numerous activities we involve daily to maintain our lifestyles.

“KNOWING IS DOING AND NOT KNOWING IS UNDOING EVEN IF DOING!”

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How To Win Over New Relationships

A large number of people in the world suffer or has suffered from speech disorders like stuttering or stammering at some point in their lives. Stuttering or stammering is the involuntary disruption or interruption in speech where certain sounds are prolonged or words are repeated. Speech disorder can cause a lot of problems in terms of personality build up and causes anxiety in people. Every activity of the body is dealt or controlled by the nervous system and the brain. Thus the proper functioning of the body is the sole responsibility of the brain and any glitch can affect the functions to a certain extent.

What are the symptoms of speech disorders?

Words are repeated
Prolongation of words or silent blocks
Hesitation while speaking
Difficulty while starting a word or a phrase
What causes speech disorders?

Genetic problems
Impatience
Stress, Shame and Anxiety
Embarrassment and nervousness
Loss of control while speaking
Ayurvedic remedies to overcome speech disorders:

Brahmi Oil: It is a stimulant that is known to calm your mind and boost the function of the brain. Take 10 ml of the oil and warm it. Cool it down to a suitable temperature and apply to your head when it is lukewarm, half an hour before going for a shower. You can also apply it before going to bed and shampoo the morning after. This is more effective.
Black pepper, almond and sugar candy: Take black pepper, and make a paste out of it. To the paste, add 7 ground almonds and mix it with sugar candy. Consume this paste every day for at least a month.
Amla: It is an effective remedy, especially in children to stop stammering. Also known as Indian Gooseberry, it should be chewed on to slowly every day.
Cow's Butter: Also called as ghee, it is responsible for brain development and is known to increase memory. Add this ingredient to your food.

Speech Disorders - How Ayurveda Can Help You?

Autism is a kind of developmental disability, which usually crops up before a child attains the age of 3. It is just part of a group of neurological disorders, which involve impaired communication along with impairment in social interaction and cognitive skills. It is better known as Autism spectrum disorder, it might well be linked with a wide variety of traits.

The traits include:

Activities done on a repetitive basis.

Extreme level of resistance to changes brought about in daily routines.

Very unusual reactions to things like touch.

Problem having interactions with the environment.

Children suffering from Autism Spectrum Disorder can have some of the major problems with regard to both speech and carry out communications in a non-verbal manner. Social interactions might also become very difficult propostions for them.

This is where, speech therapy comes to the rescue of these patients. It is the central part of treatment for autistic children. The speech therapy can help take care of a wide variety of communication problems occurring among people with autism.

Common Speech and Communication Problems Associated With Autism

Social communication, development of language and speech can get adversely affected by autism in more than one way.

A person with autism can have the speech problems, wherein they may:

Not communicate at all.

Tend to utter cries, grunts, shrieks, harsh or throaty sounds.

Talk or just hum in a musical manner.

Utter words, might can sound to be alien or robotic.

Often look to repeat whatever another person says.

Around 30% of people, suffering from autism has problem in producing speech sounds to ensure effective communication with others. The language, even if it is present, can be too difficult to be understood by others.

Communication problems can occur in various ways, for people who suffer from autism. The challenges faced by them while communicating are as follows:

Communication requires a person to make eye contact with another person or even make certain gestures. People with autism will have serious trouble in meeting up with the conversational skills.

They would have difficulty in understanding the meaning of words, which are out of context from what they have actually learned.

They would have very little understanding of the meaning of words and symbols.

Treatment through Speech Therapy

Speech therapy can help children get rid of the problems in speaking, as well as those related to communicating and interacting with others. This involves non-verbal skills such as making direct eye contact, taking initiative in conversations and understanding of different kinds of gestures.

This therapy can also teach children the art of expressing themselves by using picture symbols, computers or through sign language.

Five Principles of Speech Therapy

There are basically five principles used as a framework, to work upon in speech therapy with children, suffering from autism. They include:

Establishing Functional Communication In A Spontaneous Manner  

Providing Social Instruction in Different Settings throughout the Day

Target Peer Interactions

Even Provide Training and Support to Other Adults

Look to Fine Tune Communication Skills as Other Areas Improve.

How Speech Therapy Can Help Autistic Children?

Can true love happen more than once?

The world revolves around love. Our movies, books, stories, ambitions, desires, anything and everything, is guided by the magical power of love. Shahrukh khan famously said in his movie kuch kuch hota hai, that 'love can only happen once'. Is that true or, can true love happen more than once?

The question occurs more often than not when someone is going through a breakup, or when people wait and stay single, guided by the belief that there is only one perfect person for everyone, who would give them a happily ever after.

Let's see what truth really is.

There is no set algorithm or formula to say how many partners one can actually sustain in a lifetime. That depends on the idea of love individually for different people. Some people after a failed relationship give up the fight, and give up on the idea of love too, thinking that they had gotten once chance, and they blew it. While on the other hand, some people move on from one relationship to another, investing equally in every relationship, and never losing hope on finding their happiness.

The notion of just one love per lifetime may have been imbibed in us by the society that promotes monogamy. Insisting that it is morally correct for a couple to always stand by each other, no matter how incompatible they may be.

But the more pressing reason for the above notion is fear. The fear of falling in love again, and losing at it again, stops many people from even considering that as an option. There is a comfort in thinking that you tried your hand at love, but failed, and thus, never trying again will never let you suffer from the inexplicable pain that the failed love left you with.

However, we as humans, having the ability to connect with our family and friends, are designed to love more than one person in our lives. So it is clear that we are capable of falling in love again. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and truly so.

There are many people out there who you will be able to connect with, feel immensely happy around, and feel at home with. The thought that there is only one perfect person for everyone is not just restrictive, but also unhealthy. If you feel too damaged to love again or too scared to love even for the first time, try to look at the feeling logically than emotionally. Try to assess your compatibility with the person; see if your interests match, see what differentiates you both that'll help you both grow; see if you are able to picture a future with them, and so on.

Sometimes our past baggage or our fears clog our judgment. We all deserve second chances in life, and hence, we deserve a second, or even a third or fourth chance at love. So, do not stop at one failed relationship. Go out and seek love again in a person who is able to provide you with a more fulfilling and emotionally satisfying relationship.

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Is Shahrukh correct when he says 'Love can happen only once'?

Stuttering is a type of speech disorder wherein, a person speaks slower than normal. It is quite  common in the age group of 3 to 8. The relationship between stress and stuttering has been pondered over for decades now. A lot of people seem to believe that stress and stuttering are co-related. On the contrary, recent studies show that stress is more of a consequence rather than a cause of stuttering. If you take the first theory into consideration, then according to that, children would be the greatest victims of anxiety and stress. But it is seen that the level of stress increases proportionately with the increase in age.

Social anxiety in teenagers increases due to stuttering, when they come across individuals who can speak in a normal pace. This in turn can crush their self confidence and lead them to isolate themselves from social groups and people in general. Hence, it is important to deal with stuttering in the early ages or as and when it occurs. 

Sometimes stuttering can develop due to physical or mental trauma.  Most people with stuttering do not seek therapy for it because they might not think of it to be too severe. Little do they realise that a simple process of speech therapy can help them overcome this disability and rejuvenate their level of self-confidence.

It has also come to light, that people with relapse in stuttering post therapy has shown a three-fold increase in anxiety levels than normal. Hence we cannot ignore the strong relationship between stress and stuttering. So from the above evidence, it is safe to conclude that social anxiety or stress develops as a result of chronic stuttering.

How to deal with stress related to stuttering?

Seeking help is a great start to tackle your disability. If your stuttering is prominent enough to warrant therapy, you must seek professional help for the same. You must also learn to control your anxiety by dismissing any anxious thought or make sincere efforts in controlling physical anxiety.

You can also try to increase your social skills by participating in events, such as public speaking that can reduce your stress levels and make yourself more confident about yourself. One must also remember that a person is defined by what he does rather than what he says. So never let a minor disability come in the way of your self worth!

Stress and Stuttering - How to Deal with It?

While most of us consume alcohol on a social basis, or during certain special and momentous events of our life, there are some people who may be classified as heavy drinkers. There is a certain alcohol limit as per the sex, age and climate that a person can have on a daily basis. When a person overshoots that limit on a daily basis and that too by a large margin, he or she may be known as a heavy drinker. 

If you fall in this heavy drinking category, then you may want to go through the following tips in order to bring down and curb your habit so that you can drink in moderation, without causing undue problems for your mental and physical health.

Use bitters: Using bitters, especially digestive bitters, with your drinks can help in bringing down the amount of alcohol that you consume in one go. This can also help your body in digesting the alcohol in a better manner so that you do not wake up with a hangover. Also, the use of digestive bitters can help in detoxification of the liver and prevent it from getting coated with toxins released by alcohol.
Water: It is a well-known fact that one must stay hydrated while drinking so that he/she does not get carried away and drink too much. You can easily have a glass of water between each drink so that you keep the buzz at a stable level rather than letting it get to your head, to a point where you start to ask for even more alcohol. Moreover, before a big party or event, it is best to first have plenty of water so that you do not end up going overboard.
Cleansing juices: The latest diet and fitness fad includes a dose of juices churned from various kinds of fruit and vegetables. You can also try this cleansing juice menu every time you feel like reaching out for a drink. This will help you in keeping things in perspective and then drinking moderately, if and when the need arises.
Set a drink deadline: If you want to cut back on your drinks significantly, then one of the best things to do is to set yourself a drink deadline. As per this deadline, you will set a number where you will stop. For instance, once you have reached 2 to 3 drinks, you will automatically stop so that you do not binge.
Find a support group: It is best to find a support group of friends or even an alcoholic anonymous group so that you can share your experiences and find motivation at the same time. This is especially important for those going through withdrawal symptoms.

Are You A Heavy Drinker? 5 Tips to Help You Drink in Moderation!

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