For years I have been practicing as a psychotherapist in different parts of the world and what I have noticed is that no matter what kind of relationship or marriage a couple are in, when they end up in my office it's always for the same reason: they want to be happier, healthier and more-connected even though the issues can vary - money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc.

Despite this each relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it, yet following certain guidelines may help proceeding happily in a relationship.

If you are struggling in your relationship (and if you are reading this article there is a big chance you are unless you are one of my friends..or both) you might find it helpful to follow some of these ideas:

1. Love yourself

You must love yourself before you can love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortcomings.

2. Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise... just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things repeatedly.

3. Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without any regard for others. It is what makes compromise in a relationship possible. If I realize that something I've done has hurt you (because I can empathize with your pain or unhappiness) I will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected.). And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way.

Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship. In Daring Greatly, Dr. Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Given this definition, the act of loving someone and allowing them to love you may be the ultimate risk. Love is uncertain. It's risky because there are no guarantees and your partner could stop loving you. Exposing your true feelings may mean that you are at a greater risk for being hurt or criticized.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love.

Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Dr Perel, in her popular TED talk explains that neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships - which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability - damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

If after trying the above you are still struggling with your relationship, make sure you go and see a couple therapist.

Two couples talking in one couple's living room...

One says to the other, 'The work being done on your marriage.. are you having it done or are you doing it yourselves?'



8 Tips To Rev Up Your Relationship With Your Partner

Schizophrenia is a very serious psychological disorder which influences how a person feels, thinks, acts and reacts. A patient suffering from schizophrenia may experience issues recognising what is real and what is nonexistent; might be lethargic or unresponsive, and may experience issues communicating ordinary feelings in social situations.

The reason for schizophrenia is still hazy. A few theories and speculations about the reason for this disorder include genes (hereditary qualities), biology of the body (the unevenness in the brain s functioning); or persistent viral infections and immune disorders. Some of the problems faced by schizophrenics are as follows:

Delusions: People may feel that somebody is keeping an eye on him or her, or that they are somebody well known and famous.
Development and movement problems: These include behaving in a strange manner, pacing around, posturing or shaking forward and backwards for no reason.
Thought issue: Jumping from one topic to another in an unreasonable manner is also one of the symptoms or challenges of this condition. People may make up their own particular words or sounds.
Hallucinating: Seeing, smelling, tasting, hearing or feeling something that does not generally exist. The most widely recognised symptom is listening to nonexistent voices that give orders or commands to the patients.
Absence of feelings and emotions: An irregular feeling or expression may be experienced. For instance, crying at a joke when a typical reaction would be to laugh at it.
Despite these, some of the other very common problems faced by schizophrenic patients are as follows:

Social withdrawal from family and friends
Problems affecting in the ordinary exercises of life, for example, at work or school
Poor hygiene and lack of cleanliness
Mental shock
Loss of proper sentence formation
Issues deciding
Overlooking or losing things
Issues understanding ordinary sights, sounds, and sentiments.
Moving rapidly starting with one thought then onto the next.
Pacing and strolling in circles
Unreasonable written work, yet without any meaning.
A person with schizophrenia is twice as likely to end up diabetic or experience the ill effects of the chronic obstructive pneumonia disease (COPD) than the general population. Individuals with schizophrenia regularly commit the normal error of attempting to overlook the sickness thinking that it does not exist.

Schizophrenia has crushed a considerable amount of lives throughout the years. The indications of schizophrenia can be exceptionally scary and unnerving. There are different treatment techniques that one can access to improve the lives of the people who experience the ill effects of schizophrenia. Treatment of schizophrenia has, however essentially enhanced throughout the years, and there is no motivation to trust that it will not keep on doing so. In case that you or someone close to you has schizophrenia, look for treatment in light of the fact that your odds of recovery are good and your odds of change are great.

Schizophrenia - Common Problems Faced By A Person Suffering From It!

One of the most common personality disorders, BPD or borderline personality disorder often remains undiagnosed or repressed and gets passed off as mood swings or a volatile disposition. However this disorder is much more than just mood swings as it can seriously affect the quality of a person s life. The primary manifestation of this disorder is in the way you think about yourself and others which result in the work that you need to do on a daily basis.

How does BPD manifest in your life?
The most common ways Borderline personality disorder can manifest in your life is with extreme mood swings or emotions, a discernable pattern in relationships becoming unstable after sometime, impulsive behavior, and a self image which is distorted. BPD thus affects how you view yourself, how you feel about others and you resultant behavior in general. Some of the typical signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder are mentioned below.

Persistent feelings of emptiness

Anger in inappropriate or unnecessary places, losing your temper very frequently, resulting in physical fights
Fearing abandonment intensely, whether it is real or imagined and thus going huge lengths to stop it from happening
Extreme instability in relationships which may cause a partner to be liked one moment and then hated the next
People with BPD also tend to be suicidal which is often caused by the fear of rejection or separation
Engaging in risky and impulsive behaviors such as
Engaging in unsafe sex despite being aware of the implications
Splurging money on gambling
Leaving a good job suddenly
A tendency to indulge in drugs
Binge eating
Reckless driving
Suddenly terminating a healthy and positive relationship
Sudden changes in values and self-identity and goals and feeling low about yourself as a result
Causes of Borderline personality disorder
In most cases borderline personality disorder can t be exactly attributed to a single cause and in most cases, is a combination of factors. While genetic or hereditary predisposition can cause BPD it may also be triggered by other factors. Also, not curbing mal-traits in young children or encouraging such behaviors may lead to BPD as they grow up. Some of the factors that contribute to BPD are

Genetics
Abnormalities in the brain
Childhood incidents which were stressful
Personality traits which have worsened
If you think you have been displaying some of the symptoms for a fairly prolonged period, it is advisable that you visit a mental health professional for counseling and start with therapy as advised by them.

Borderline Personality Disorder - How It Manifests In Your Life?

Do you have a family member or a close friend who is suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder? Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a disorder, which causes anxiety, and is also known as anxiety disorder. The disorder is featured by continuous, uncontrollable and unpleasant thoughts. OCD causes a patient s mind to get stuck on a certain inclination. Obsessive thoughts and compulsive behavior patterns indicate OCD.
Dealing with an OCD patient

After the initial diagnosis, a patient with OCD enters the stage of acute treatment. The treatment aims at coping with and overcoming the symptoms of OCD.

Education: Patients with OCD should get to know as much as possible about the disorder they are suffering from. You should help an OCD affected patient by providing them the opportunity to read about the disease, and talk to other patients, along with regular appointments with a clinician. A treatment plan has to be developed. OCD patients in an acute treatment stage should be taken to a doctor every week, in order to discuss their progress.
Therapy: Therapy helps them cope with the symptoms of OCD. Cognitive behavioral psychotherapy is undertaken for treating patients with OCD. This mode of treatment gives the patients psychological tools, which help them resist the ill effects of the condition.
Medication: Medicines are not required for all OCD patients. Some patients diagnosed with the condition are prescribed selective serotonin re uptake inhibitor or SSIs for dealing with the symptoms of OCD. The medicines should be taken for a period of three to four weeks before any results are experienced. 12 weeks are required for a patient to know whether the medicines are working or not. An SRI is ineffective in some cases, and you may be prescribed a non-selective serotonin re uptake inhibitor like Clomipramine. This affects the serotonin, but has positive impacts on other neurotransmitters in your brain.
Family support: Family members play an important part in helping OCD patients manage their condition by providing constant support, staying calm, and being educated about the condition. OCD patients should be treated with affection and should be complimented often. The observations of the patient by family members help a doctor in determining the patient s condition. As a family member or close friend, you must never be critical about the patient or state negative comments about his condition. Such feedback causes the patient s condition to worsen. Family members should discuss all problems they face regarding the patient to a doctor.
Patients who have completed OCD treatment require monthly check ups with a doctor for six months. A year of cognitive therapy is required to be carried out, along with the intake of prescribed medicines.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - How To Handle It?

Are you aware of the schizophrenia and the adverse effects it inflicts on a person? Schizophrenia is a chronic and extremely severe mental disorder that affects how a person thinks, behaves, and feels. Schizophrenia patients seem like they are not aware of reality. The condition requires lifelong treatment, even after the symptoms leave. There are various types of treatments, which are used for schizophrenic patients. The treatment is usually guided by an experienced psychiatrist. 

The various modes of treatments are as follows:
Medications: Medications are very important for the treatment of schizophrenia, and antipsychotic drugs are most commonly used. They help in managing the symptoms by affecting dopamine. Treatment using antipsychotic drugs aims at managing the symptoms effectively. Antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs are also used for treatment. Several weeks are required for these medicines to show results. Most of the medications used for schizophrenia treatment are associated with severe side effects and are thus avoided by many people. The patient s cooperation with treatment determines the choice of drug.

First generation antipsychotics: These medicines are associated with adverse neurological side effects, such as the possibility of developing tardive dyskinesia, which is an irreversible movement disorder.
Second generation antipsychotics: These medicines are preferred because of the lower risk of adverse side effects on the body than first generation medicines.
Psychological interventions: When the patient s psychosis decreases, psychological and psychosocial interventions are required. They include the following:

Individual therapy: Psychotherapy is important for normalizing a patient s regular thought patterns. Learning about ways to deal with stress, and identifying warning signs can help patients manage their condition better.
Social skills training: This aims at improving a schizophrenic person s social interactions, communication and his/her ability to take part in daily activities.
Family therapy: Family therapy is important for educating the families of schizophrenic patients about the disorder, and let them know about the ways to deal with it.
Vocational rehabilitation and supported employments: Most people with schizophrenia need some kind of daily living support. Programs are offered by several communities and self-help groups for helping schizophrenic people with housing, jobs, crisis situations. With proper treatment, most schizophrenic people manage to deal with their symptoms and illness.

Hospitalization: During emergency or crisis periods of extreme symptoms, a patient may need to be hospitalized to get proper nutrition, basic hygiene, sufficient sleep, and safety.
Electroconvulsive therapy or ECT is carried out for schizophrenic patients who do not respond to drug treatment. This therapy is also beneficial for patients who have got depression. It is recommended for you to consult a doctor on experiencing any symptom of schizophrenia.


Schizophrenia - Different Modes Of Treatment That Are Followed!

Speech therapy is a very distinct form of science that is often misunderstood by people in general. While the benefits of such a therapy is countless, people misinterpret what the therapy actually involves and what it does not. If you are avoiding speech therapy due to the following reasons, you should stop doing so as these are nothing but fabricated myths.

Speech therapy is all about talking: Do not think that speech therapy only involves talking with the therapist. The therapy focuses on the overall communication skills of a person, which definitely involves the speech but also the intricacies of articulation and body language. Sign aids and comprehension skills are also paid attention to in such a therapy session. So, if you feel that you have a problem regarding any one of these aspects, you need to visit a speech therapist.
Speech therapy is uninteresting: Nothing can be further from the truth than this. In fact, a visit to a dentist can be boring, but a visit to a speech therapist will always involve interesting activities such as tongue twisters. The therapists often treat children, which means that their offices, house toys, and other games designed to indulge the minds of infants as well.
A qualified speech therapist is needed for the therapy: Another myth, which needs to be dispelled, is that only a qualified speech therapist can help improve the speech of a person. In fact, any person who has a vast knowledge of diction, linguistic insight, and knowledge of grammar can help people with speech impairment. So, before visiting the doctor, the adults in the family should try and clear out the impairment themselves.
Speech therapy fixes issues in the snap of a finger: As with any kind of treatment, speech therapy does not work like magic. It is a continuous and long process that needs to be followed through. The pace of this treatment depends on the patient. Some patients are more receptive to this therapy than others. So, there is no guideline for the treatment of all speech-impaired individuals and one needs to be treated and allowed to get better at their own pace.
Your child will automatically learn perfect speech: If your child suffers from a speech impairment, do not delay a therapy session by thinking that he/she will automatically learn to speak better as they grow up. This way of thinking is not beneficial and hinders the eventual treatment for the impairment. The speech therapist can help you better if you bring your child to him/her as soon as you detect an issue. 

Don't Let These Myths Turn You Off From Speech Therapy

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