Borderline personality disorder is connected with the mental health of the patient and is usually seen in the way the patient perceives himself or herself. This has a deep impact on the brain and overall functioning of the patient. It leads to problems in the personal life and relationships of the patient. These problems are usually triggered by a fear of abandonment. Let us explore the signs and symptoms of this condition to understand it in a better manner:

1. Discouraging Attitude: One of the earliest signs of this disorder includes having an attitude that is very discouraging. This attitude may remain limited to the patient or may extend to the people around him or her.

2. Self-Identity: This disorder has a marked impact on the self-identity of the patient. There is usually a rapid decline in the way the patient may view himself or herself. A self-deprecating attitude will usually be seen among patients suffering from this condition, where the self-esteem hits an all-time low along with low self-confidence.

3. Relationships: Whether it the patient's personal relationships, family, friends or work based relationships, there will be a sharp decline in the quality of interactions that the patient indulges in, due to this disorder. The interactions and dynamics of all relationships will usually take on an intense turn as the patient will have varied unfounded concerns that come from the fear of abandonment. This usually stems from some form of childhood trauma triggered by parental separation or loss.

4. Impulsive Behavior: Patients suffering from this disorder will also display impulsive behavior that may lead to gambling, and other risky behavior. This kind of behavior can usually lead to accidents and losses as well as further lowering of the sense of self-esteem that the patient may experience. Also, abuse and binge eating are some of the symptoms of this kind of behavior.

5. Suicidal threats: There may be threats of suicide by patients who are suffering from this disorder. This usually happens because most of these patients end up feeling lost and empty, which makes them think that their life and all its activities are completely futile. If you happen to meet someone who consistently talks about how useless he or she is and how nothing in life seems to have a purpose, then you may want to recommend this person to a psychiatrist as these are the earliest signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder.

6. Mood swings: The patient will also suffer from intense mood swings. These could last up to several days and even weeks. These mood swings could go from happiness to severe anxiety and even shame.

Signs and Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder

We all have those days when we seem to have hit an all time low. We feel bad, sad, mad, and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. However, this is a temporary, passing phase for most of us. But for people with depression, this is not the case.

Chronic depression, which is more common in women than men, can arise due to different reasons. Major life changes, marital issues, relationship issues, financial problems, chronic medical problems, death of loved ones, life stressors, weather changes, etc. can lead to depression.

This leads to prolonged periods of sadness, feeling of emptiness, loss of interest in activities which were normally pleasurable, irritability, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, weight gain, worthless and hopeless feeling, and feeling of doom. This can result in dejection, social withdrawal, poor performance at work/school, and an overall declining quality of life.

In most cases, there is usually a past, unpleasant experience which leads to depression. This could be different for different people, depending on their tolerance. While some may go into depression over minor relationship issues, for others, it could be as severe as sexual abuse in the past.

Ayurveda recognizes  sadhaka agni  as a fire that helps a person to digest trauma. People with a strong sadhaka agni have a higher tolerance and take more time to get depressed compared to people who have a weak fire in them.

The following are some simple changes that can be very useful in overcoming depression.

Meditate for about 20 minutes every day.
Realize and practice detachment. Most people with depression have a loss of something they were closely attached to. Realizing that nothing in life is permanent and letting it go will play a major role in feeling better.
Get a sound, restful sleep. Stick to a routine by going to bed and getting up at the same time every day.
Walk out in the sun and get a good dose of sunlight. Add exercise to sun exposure to feel elated and upbeat about life in general.
Exercises such as yoga, walking, and cycling also are useful in improving overall balance and health. A healthy and fitter body definitely leaves one in a better mood.
Eat healthy food. Avoid packaged, canned, and processed food. Include a lot of nuts and seeds in your diet, be it roasted or soaked.
Try mood uplifting food items like black pepper, dry ginger, turmeric, amla, cloves, and cardamom.
Herbs like ashwagandha, shatavari, brahmi are highly useful in curing depression. They also treat fluid balance, govern energy and creativity in the body, improve metabolism, and clear toxins.
Ayurveda believes in not just making one feel better, but improving his/her overall well-being by getting to the root of the issue.

Depression - 8 Steps To Help You Get Rid Of It!

Ayurveda is a renowned life science that has been credited with changing lives since ancient times. Not only can it prevent diseases and ailments, but it can also cure them with its combination of herbal medication, everyday routine and yogic poses. Weight management is a field that also enjoys various Ayurvedic remedies. Some of them are as follows.

Herbs: Herbs are a way of healing used by Ayurveda, and the use of various herbs can help in hastening the metabolism for healthy weight management.

Taste: Ayurveda recognizes six distinct tastes that should be incorporated into one's daily diet. These tastes include salty, pungent, sour, sweet, bitter and finally, astringent. Each of these tastes has several properties that balance the various hormones and health factors in one's body. These tastes form the various counterpoints to alleviate all kinds of health problems, which finally help in effective weight management. Also, one must eat all the seasonal fruits and vegetables to keep the body and hormones in good balance.
 
Exercise: While a daily routine of exercise is a must in any life science, Ayurveda too propagates the devotion of at least 45 minutes to one hour towards some form of exercise. Walking is said to be the most important and effective forms of exercise, followed by several yoga poses that can help in better weight management. Also, as per Ayurveda, it is important to move after each and every meal, so that a routine of eating and activity is built into the system. 

Sleep: Ayurveda recognizes sleep or rest as one of the most important aspects of a healthy lifestyle. While good eating habits and exercise form one side of it, sleep or rest completes the triangle. One can also practice the Savasana or resting pose for a period of rest. And at least six to seven hours of sleep is a must as per Ayurveda.

Meditation: This practice helps in focusing on awareness which can instil the desired function like weight management in the body. Being mindful of what your body needs can also help in eating and exercising right.

Weight management is a lifelong process in Ayurveda.

Weight Management and Ayurveda

Smartphone Addiction is a Sign of Depression

There are some people who just never seem to get off the phone. They would be looking at their phones all the time, messaging, using social networking sites or simply clicking their pictures or playing games. A study suggests that addiction to the smartphone is linked to and serves as a sign of depression.

The study reveals that individuals who have been diagnosed with some form or degree of depression tend to use their phones more. In fact, smartphone addiction is correlated to clinical depression. So, if your teenage son or daughter or someone you know have been using their phones too often, then this might be a red signal towards depression.

Smartphone addiction can be seen as a compulsive behavior and is typically noticed among depressed people. At the same time, it can result in depression as well. People who are prone to developing depression symptoms may also use their phone more often. Their excessive usage and smartphone addiction may actually make them irritable and sad, looking at photos of others, noticing other people’s lives may make them feel that their lives aren’t perfect. This can in turn lead to feelings of extreme sadness, cause depression or even suicidal thoughts.

So, make sure that you keep a tab of how often people use smartphone in your family. If you suspect behavioral changes with smartphone addiction, consider getting a consultation with a psychologist or counsellor.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Your Addiction To Smart Phone Reveals Something Shocking About You!


A new relationship involves a lot of weighing from both the sides. Learn what really matters to win people over in this post. When you want to build a new relationship, whether it is for work, business, personal, marriage, friendship etc there are several factors that help take off and bloom the relationship. These factors are broadly the same in different age groups as far as psychological impact matters. Some of the most important influential factors from a psychological point of view have been highlighted here. 

1. Presentation- When you want to draw someone into relationship with you for any reason, it is important that you present yourself at you best levels be it physical or mental. Like they say that the first impression is the best impression, your display of you strengths creates an impression that helps people decide what they want to do with you. This doesn't mean you should hide all your weaknesses but highlighting your strengths is as important as making your weaknesses clear. Always learn to put your best foot forward as sometimes that itself may not be enough. You can't really send your neighbour for your job interview!! There are many instances when people send different photographs in their applications and different ones appear for the exams. This is mere cheating and not winning.

2. Plan – Let people know what you want to do with them and what they can they can do with you. No one can say they don’t have a plan. There is always some plan. Knowing it strengthens why you want to have that relationship in the first place. Otherwise it's like something which is there but you can never want to do anything with! When you are honest with your plans and they workout as you described it, it creates confidence in relationship or else it is destroyed forever. You can cheat a person with your plans once, not forever.

3. Possibilities- Will this relationship bring me trouble? Obviously nobody wants to get into a relationship with anybody that brings them trouble be it physical or mental. Next question is whether it will benefit me? Small or big depends on person's needs. Some relationships neither bring us trouble nor benefits us, such relationships are better than the ones which can cause harm.

4. Potential – Question. Does this relationship you are trying to develop have any possibilities of growth a few or many years down the line. Obviously we have a lot of friends who wither by passing of time. Does this relationship have an expiry date irrespective of how well or bad it goes? Like when we join college we know for sure that the friends will be with us till the duration of the course and that's it. We will know that if we study together it will help us achieve great grades in college and hence a great life later. These kind of growth possibilities or possibilities of deterioration are important to be well aware of and will naturally decide the course of relationships.

5. Progress – No matter what our initial assessments are, how the relationships helps us fare in the outside world will ultimately decide the future of any relationship. Loss, sorrow, tragedy, degradation in any aspect of life, insults, injury, loss of health etc will never help any relationship continue or last.

6. Partnerships – When we want to build a relationship with someone, the best way to do it is to obviously partner with that person in as many activities as possible. The more interested a person is the more activities that person will involve you in and try to do it with you. This type of partnership activities, be it spending a few hours in the evening, or a few minutes on phone, or an association of months or years are a foolproof way to show you are interested. Conversely a person who doesn't partner with you in anything is extremely unlikely to ever have any sort of relationship with you. Partnership in activities is the only way to show and know that you are interested or the other person is interested respectively. After all chasing the moon, stars and rainbow are activities of people who don’t realize its out of their reach. Sensible people are busy with what their eyes see, hands feel, ears listen, tongue tastes and thinking perceives as appropriate.

7. Positioning attitudes- As a tree bends with the winds to prevent from cracking, we all have to be flexible with our attitudes towards each other. Being too rigid about our protocol on how relationships should run irrespective of the reality and circumstances of the person we are having a relationship with is naturally going to break relationships. After all a doctor who heals and prevents all illnesses is better than a doctor who abuses his patients for falling ill but never does anything for them. Eg: You get bed and good food in a hotel as well as at your home. A hotel will provide food only on payment of money, but family will provide it whenever your hungry. Hence hotels can never expect the same emotions as family can, and this is as natural as it should be. Hence be careful what you want from a relationship. Whether you want to be treated as a hotel or family is entirely how you play yourself with others. After all only families can expect loyalty not hotels.

8. Politeness- In any relationship, many years down the line, what our long term memory retains is how comfortable we were in that relationship. Even if we profit from a particular relationship, the fact that it shook us mentally and emotionally will never allow us to go back or retain that relationship. Life is short and the only thing that matters is to spend it comfortably. Not destroy our peace for some benefit that destroys our peace of mind.

9. Personation- While sending a representative of your organization for a client meeting may work in business, you cant really send a representative to meet you wife or kids at home. In personal relationship, lack of your physical presence obviously means that you don’t have time for them. In any relationship, individuality matters a lot. Just imagine, if all actors acted exactly the same in movies, why would you prefer any particular one over the other as your favourite? The nuances and differences in our personalities are what makes us all unique. We are not robots from a particular brand to behave exactly the same way. If a person in a relationship doesn't sense your individuality you are wasting their time by trying to have a relationship with them, especially a personal one.

10. Positive reinforcement- When we get into a relationship, it is important that we feel good about ourselves and what we are doing. If you feel like a shoplifter entering a shop, you will not feel good about that relationship. When a shopkeeper welcomes us, shows us his products, tells us their details and provides all the explanations on how we will be well off with the product, provides his guarantee for it, confirms its essence, many people buy it even if they don’t compulsively need it. It’s the same in relationships. On the same side if a shopkeeper is arrogant, avoidant, abusive, insulting etc you are very unlikely to buy anything in that shop because you are not sure that the shopkeeper means any good and will be happy with the shopkeeper s product. The experience of buying is as important as the product we buy. Nobody is happy about something they got when they weren't treated the right way or is interested in retaining it when they don’t get good service for it.

11. Persistence on all Ps – Obviously when we want relationships to last, we need to be persistent on all the above P's. Otherwise it wont take long for a relationship to be counted in “once upon a time”!! A simple conversation even if for a few minutes every now and then when you need it may make it seem that you are still there for a person. Without even that people may even find it hard to remember that they even had something to do with you sometime before keeping in mind the the numerous activities we involve daily to maintain our lifestyles.

“KNOWING IS DOING AND NOT KNOWING IS UNDOING EVEN IF DOING!”

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

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How To Win Over New Relationships


5 Ways To Remove Stress Instantly

Feeling the blues once in a while is natural for the kind of hectic lives we lead. But feeling stressed and burned out deeply affects on our body, mind and soul. When you feel stressed, you need to take measures that can help you cope up. Something as simple as saying ‘I love you’ in the mirror once in a morning turns around the way you approach your day.

Try these stress reducing tips to rejuvenate yourselves immediately.

1) Meditate- Its the best way out. It eases anxiety, which is the culprit behind those stressed out moments. All you have to do is just close your eyes, focus your attention on positive thoughts or repeatedly chanting 'Om' which has a vibrational impact. Don’t let negative thoughts distract you.
2) Inhale Deeply- There are several occasions when you might not be able to mediate. In such a case, simply start to inhale through your nose, bring it to your abdomen and let it make way through your body slowly. Deep breathing can also reduce the instances of blood pressure.
3) Laugh Out Loud- Laughing can reduce cortisol, a hormone  responsible for stress. You can watch your favourite comedy show, a sitcom or simply look for a few videos online.
4) Listen To Music- Simple but effective. Listening to music can lower your blood pressure, heart rate as well as anxiety. Go ahead and create a playlist of your favourite songs or music. And if you fancy, try to sing on the top of your lungs too!
5) Exercise- Exercising has too many incredible benefits. One of them is easing depression and anxiety. Deal with stress by exercising a few minutes every day. Ideally, 30 minutes a day is what you should aim for.



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5 Ways To Remove Stress Instantly

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