Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

Here is a list of 3 scientifically proven ways of increasing intimacy with your partner.

1. Look them in the eye and tell them all about yourself

Self-disclosure is an important part of relationships, especially during the initial phase. However, gradually as people feel that they've known enough about each other, communication seems to come to a standstill.

But the actual reason for this is not the lack of things to talk about but resistance which arises out of a feeling of vulnerability. It mostly happens in established relationships because both the partners do not wish to break past the certainty and assurance.

Therefore, the revealing part that may lead to some changes in perception is often skipped. However, not doing so and truly communicating with your partner can help you in increasing intimacy and having a deeper connection with your partner.

2. Share the laughter

Sharing the joy and the humorous experiences is a great way of increasing intimacy with your partner. Since every person's sense of humour is different, humour is a deeply personal aspect of your personality. Therefore, when you share genuine laughter with your partner that is when your sense of humour matches with each other, it improves your understanding and builds intimacy.

3. Tell them how you feel and know how they feel

It is extremely important for you to talk with your partner about how you feel - not just about the relationship, but about other important aspects of your life as well. If conflicts are dealt with by discussing how you feel about them and not on the lines of rationality, you end up feeling more intimate with your partner. Honestly discussing and exchanging your feelings is an amazing way of increasing your intimacy with your partner.



3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

Chromosomal abnormality happens when a cell has too many or too few chromosomes. The most common form of chromosomal anomaly is Down s syndrome. If a parent has a chromosomal anomaly, she/he will pass it on to the child. PGD or Pre-implantation Genetic Testing aims to select only the embryos with normal chromosomal count and only these embryos are implanted to achieve a healthy pregnancy and bring down the number of children affected with a chromosomal anomaly.

The risk of Aneuploid pregnancy:

The older a woman is when she tries to conceive (aged 35 or more), the higher the risk of Aneuploid pregnancy (carrying a baby with genetic or chromosomal abnormality). Most of these pregnancies end in miscarriages and the few that come to term produce babies with chromosomal abnormalities.

Causes of Chromosomal Abnormality:

Usually, chromosomal abnormalities occur due to an error in the cell division. Meiosis refers to the cell division, which the sperm and the egg undergo during the development procedure. Normally, meiosis breaks the chromosomal material into two equal halves, so that each of the parents contributes 23 chromosomes to the pregnancy. However, when the number of chromosomes in the cell goes up or down than the normal, it results in genetic/chromosomal anomalies.

PGD Procedure for a Chromosomal Anomaly:

If a couple elects to go for Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis, they have to undergo ICSI Cycle. ICSI cycle initiates a fertilization cycle to produce embryos. When the embryos reach upto day 5 and blastocyst are formed, they are biopsied and further sent to genetic lab for detecting the chromosomal abnormalities. The embryos are incubated for the entire duration of the genetic screening. Only the embryos that the genetic test clears are implanted. PGD never reveals the gender of the embryo.

PGD can help detect the single genetic disorders that may lead to the following ailments:

  Cystic fibrosis
  Muscular dystrophy
  Tay-Sachs
  Sickle cell anaemia
  Thalassemia
  Turner syndrome

PGD is a revolutionary science that can help root out incurable disorders linked to genetics. It ensures that pregnancy is sustained until term and a healthy baby is born.

Suffering From Genetic & Chromosomal Anomalies - Know About PGD!

You Need to Read This To Stay Away From Depression!

Depression robs people of their energy, ability to focus and pleasure. It makes them lose the joy of doing anything. In advanced cases, people may also lose their will to live. Depression is caused by factors that are mostly psychological, although a few can be physical. Certain habits and ways of living also lead to depression.

Here are few habits you must avoid.

1) Lack of Exercise: Being inactive affects your state of mind and can lead to a feeling of being depressed. If you are inactive, you also become lazy or tend to eat more, due to lack of anything better to do. This may be even more depressing.

SOLUTION: Exercise ensures your physical and mental well-being. Whenever you feel depressed, remember to exercise. Even a 20 minute brisk walking makes your brain produce the 'feel-good' chemicals, which keeps you active and in high spirits. If this not possible then just use the stairs instead of the lift, or take a few rounds of your block at whatever pace you can do. Remember to be regular in your efforts.

2) Improper Diet: Eating foods regularly which are loaded with hydrogenated fats, refined sugars and processed foods increase blood sugar levels suddenly and then dip suddenly. Our bodies and minds become lethargic with such foods. These chemicals affect the limbic brain( emotional centre) directly, making us feel blue, irritated and fatigued.

SOLUTION: Eating healthy is not only good for your body but also your brain. Food stuffs that contain omega-3 fats are referred to as brain foods and lack of such foods makes you vulnerable to depression. Eat crap and you feel like crap! Since our bodies cannot manufacture omega-3 fats, it has to be sourced from foods such as coldwater fish and seafood. Eating whole grains, fibre, vegetables, fruits rich in carbs and plenty of water Eat healthy for a healthy mind.

3) Poor Sleeping Habits and Stress: If you constantly deprive yourself of sleep or oversleep, you create a situation that risks depression. Not getting the recommended 7-9 hours of sleep leaves you irritable, agitated or hyper vigilant. A person who hasn't slept enough cannot perform daily functions properly and may feel frustrated or begin to feel trapped. A sense of loss of control makes one feel depressed. Most people don't understand that just getting enough sleep can help in keeping depression at bay.

SOLUTION: Sleeping well has a restorative and rejuvenative action on the body and mind. The body repairs itself while sleeping, dreams are a way of expelling unwanted thoughts and emotions, people develop higher immunity when they sleep well, you have better cognitive functions. You will make sound decisions with fewer errors, concentrating and focussing will be easier. Tasks will seem easier and effortless. A good sleep leaves people feeling energised, happier and alert.

4) Isolation: the experience of being separated from others - may result from being physically removed from others, as when a person lives in a remote area, or it can result from the perception of being removed from a community, such as when a person feels socially or emotionally isolated from others. Social isolation is distinct from the experience of solitude, which is simply the state of being alone, usually by choice. Taking time to be alone can be a healthy, rejuvenating experience that allows us to reconnect with our own needs, goals, beliefs, values, and feelings. But when a person experiences too much solitude or feels socially isolated from others, he or she may develop feelings of loneliness, social anxiety, helplessness, or depression, among others. 

SOLUTION: Having an active social life with real and genuine people whom you gel with and have common interests is like an elixir of life. It infuses a person with a sense of wellbeing, safety, security and belonging, which is necessary for us humans. It forms social support not only in good times but also in tough times when we need help, support, suggestions and encouragement. A shared smile, a nod, a wink, laughter or story can go on a long way to make you feel uplifted.

5) Ruminating Constantly: Dwelling on negative thoughts each day, sets you up for depression. Constantly thinking of failure, loss, rejection or past events is harmful. Ruminating about something you cannot change not only makes you depressed but also drives you insane. It fosters feelings of helplessness, worthlessness and hopelessness, which are so common in depression.

SOLUTION:There are practical ways of fighting this problem, like keeping yourself busy and distracted, or just using an outlet to channel the feelings out of your system. Have a satisfying hobby to fill up your free time. Taking care of a pet, social work also helps people feel good about themselves. Use logic and rational reasoning to combat negative thinking patterns. Seeing meaning in a loss is very helpful too. Look at the positive and brighter side of each situation. Using humour to lighten some tough situations help keep the mental and emotional balance from tipping.

Have any further questions on depression or mental health? Click on consult privately to ask me.

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You Need to Read This To Stay Away From Depression!

All or most of us have the habit of double checking if the house is locked before leaving home or cleaning the house extensively till it is spotlessly clean. But if such behavior becomes an obsession that you can't help doing it and go about it compulsively to the extent that it affects your normal life, it might be a case of OCD. OCD which is the acronym for obsessive-compulsive disorder, a chronic disorder in which a person has uncontrollable reoccurring thoughts and an unavoidable urge to perform a particular activity over and over.

How to know if it is OCD?

People affected with OCD have both, obsessional and compulsion symptoms. Obsessions are repeated thoughts, images and urges that create anxiety in human mind like fear of contamination or germs, expecting things to stay in perfect order, feeling taboo against caste, sex religion, and corresponding harm and so on.
Compulsions are repetitive actions performed by an OCD patient in response to his or her obsessional thoughts which may include excessive washing, cleaning, arranging things in a particular way, repeated checking out things or work done, counting things over and over again and more.
However, not all repetitive actions are signs of OCD. It's common to see a person checking a crucial work done by him twice. This becomes obsessive when a person is not able to control his thoughts and activities, gets distressed about not performing those activities and spends a significant amount of time in a day on these tasks.
Who are vulnerable to OCD?
The causes of OCD are not yet clearly known. However, people have higher chances of developing OCD when their first-degree relatives are affected by the problem. Moreover, the risk goes even higher when the first-degree relative was affected at his young or teenage. Researchers are still working to find the link between OCD and genes so that causes, diagnosis, and treatment of OCD get better in future.

Studies have also revealed that there might be some connection between OCD and abnormalities in some regions of the brain. People who experience traumatizing experiences in their childhood or during their life are highly susceptible to OCD. However, such ideas have not yet been proved.

How can the condition be managed?
OCD is treated with psychotherapy, meditation, or a combination of both. However, some medicines help to get over OCD and its symptoms. But the best way to help an OCD patient is if he can himself get his obsessions and compulsion under control. Medicines will always help OCD symptoms but might have some side effects.

The OCD symptoms may come and go, go easy over time or worsen. Patients might identify the problem themselves or might fail to understand the abnormalities in their lifestyle. If a person feels that he/she is being affected by OCD, there is a need to consult the doctor before it disturbs the normal life.

An Insight On Obsessive Compulsive Disorder!

Raising a child with dyslexia can stir up a lot of emotions. You may look ahead and wonder if this learning issue will affect your child's future. But dyslexia is not a prediction of failure. Dyslexia is quite common, and many successful individuals have dyslexia.

Research has proven that there are different ways of teaching that can help people with dyslexia succeed. There's a lot you can do as a parent too.

What are the symptoms of dyslexia?

Because dyslexia affects some people more severely than others, your child's symptoms may look different from those in another child. Some kids with dyslexia have trouble with reading and spelling. Others may struggle to write or to tell left from right.

Dyslexia can also make it difficult for people to express themselves clearly. It can be hard for them to structure their thoughts during conversation. They may have trouble finding the right words to say.

Others struggle to understand what they're hearing. This is especially true when someone uses nonliteral language such as jokes and sarcasm.

The signs you see may also look different at various ages. Some of the warning signs for dyslexia, such as a speech delay, appear before a child reaches kindergarten. More often, though, dyslexia is identified in grade school. As schoolwork gets more demanding, trouble processing language becomes more apparent.

Here are some signs to look out for:

Warning Signs in Preschool or Kindergarten

Has trouble recognizing the letters of the alphabet

Struggles to match letters to sounds, such as not knowing what sounds b or h make

Has difficulty blending sounds into words, such as connecting C-H-A-T to the word chat

Struggles to pronounce words correctly, such as saying 'mawn lower' instead of 'lawn mower'

Has difficulty learning new words

Has a smaller vocabulary than other kids the same age

Has trouble learning to count or say the days of the week and other common word sequences

Has trouble rhyming

Warning Signs in Grade School or Middle School

Struggles with reading and spelling

Confuses the order of letters, such as writing 'left' instead of 'felt'

Has trouble remembering facts and numbers

Has difficulty gripping a pencil

Has difficulty using proper grammar

Has trouble learning new skills and relies heavily on memorization

Gets tripped up by word problems in math

Has a tough time sounding out unfamiliar words

Has trouble following a sequence of directions

Warning Signs in High School

Struggles with reading out loud

Doesn't read at the expected grade level

Has trouble understanding jokes or idioms

Has difficulty organizing and managing time

Struggles to summarize a story

Has difficulty learning a foreign language

Skills that are affected by Dyslexia-

Dyslexia doesn't just affect reading and writing. Here are some everyday skills and activities your child may be struggling with because of this learning issue:

General

Appears bright, highly intelligent, and articulate but unable to read, write, or spell at grade level.

Labelled lazy, dumb, careless, immature, "not trying hard enough," or "behavior problem."

Isn't "behind enough" or "bad enough" to be helped in the school setting.

High in IQ, yet may not test well academically; tests well orally, but not written.

Feels dumb; has poor self-esteem; hides or covers up weaknesses with ingenious compensatory strategies; easily frustrated and emotional about school reading or testing.

Talented in art, drama, music, sports, mechanics, story-telling, sales, business, designing, building, or engineering.

Seems to "Zone out" or daydream often; gets lost easily or loses track of time.

Difficulty sustaining attention; seems "hyper" or "daydreamer."

Learns best through hands-on experience, demonstrations, experimentation, observation, and visual aids.

Vision, Reading, and Spelling Skills

Complains of dizziness, headaches or stomach aches while reading.

Confused by letters, numbers, words, sequences, or verbal explanations.

Reading or writing shows repetitions, additions, transpositions, omissions, substitutions, and reversals in letters, numbers and/or words.

Complains of feeling or seeing non-existent movement while reading, writing, or copying.

Seems to have difficulty with vision, yet eye exams don't reveal a problem.

Extremely keen sighted and observant, or lacks depth perception and peripheral vision.

Reads and rereads with little comprehension.

Spells phonetically and inconsistently.

Hearing and Speech Skills

Has extended hearing; hears things not said or apparent to others; easily distracted by sounds.

Difficulty putting thoughts into words; speaks in halting phrases; leaves sentences incomplete; stutters under stress; mispronounces long words, or transposes phrases, words, and syllables when speaking.

Writing and Motor Skills

Trouble with writing or copying; pencil grip is unusual; handwriting varies or is illegible.

Clumsy, uncoordinated, poor at ball or team sports; difficulties with fine and/or gross motor skills and tasks; prone to motion-sickness.

Can be ambidextrous, and often confuses left/right, over/under.

Math and Time Management Skills

Has difficulty telling time, managing time, learning sequenced information or tasks, or being on time.

Computing math shows dependence on finger counting and other tricks; knows answers, but can't do it on paper.

Can count, but has difficulty counting objects and dealing with money.

Can do arithmetic, but fails word problems; cannot grasp algebra or higher math.

Memory and Cognition

Excellent long-term memory for experiences, locations, and faces.

Poor memory for sequences, facts and information that has not been experienced.

Thinks primarily with images and feeling, not sounds or words (little internal dialogue).

Behavior, Health, Development and Personality

Extremely disorderly or compulsively orderly.

Can be class clown, trouble-maker, or too quiet.

Had unusually early or late developmental stages (talking, crawling, walking, tying shoes).

Prone to ear infections; sensitive to foods, additives, and chemical products.

Can be an extra deep or light sleeper; bedwetting beyond appropriate age.

Unusually high or low tolerance for pain.

Strong sense of justice; emotionally sensitive; strives for perfection.

What can be done at home for dyslexia?

Helping your child with dyslexia can be a challenge, particularly if you're never been confident in your own reading and writing skills. But you don't have to be an expert to help work on certain skills or strengthen your child's self-esteem.

Keep in mind that kids (and families) are all different, so not all options will work for you. Don't panic if the first strategies you try aren't effective. You may need to try several approaches to find what works best for your child. Here are some things you can try at home:

Read out loud every day

Tap into your child's interests

Use audiobooks

Look for apps and other high-tech help

Focus on effort, not outcome

Make your home reader-friendly

Boost confidence

What can make the journey easier?

Dyslexia can present challenges for your child and for you. But with the proper support, almost all people with dyslexia can become accurate readers. Your involvement will help tremendously.

Wherever you are in your journey, whether you're just starting out or are well on your way, this site can help you find more ways to support your child. Here are a few things that can help make the journey easier:

Connect with other parents. Remember that you're not alone. Use our safe online community to find parents like you.

Get behavior advice. Parenting Coach offers expert-approved strategies on a variety of issues that can affect children with dyslexia, including trouble with time management, anxiety and fear, frustration and low self-esteem.

Build a support plan. Come up with a game plan and anticipate what lies ahead.

Understanding dyslexia and looking for ways to help your child is an important first step. There's a lot you can do just don't feel you have to do everything all at once. Pace yourself. If you try a bunch of strategies at the same time, it might be hard to figure out which ones are working. And do your best to stay positive. Your love and support can make a big difference in your child's life.

9 Dyslexia Signs & Symptoms - Your Kid is Suffering from it!

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