Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding and not a binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on how you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And, failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticise and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn't! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don't happen your way but have you tried to 'express' your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships results in frustration, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the 'progress' in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not up to it. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A 'No' from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don't want to do that right now! Feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you're taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C's : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using 'I feel' statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you're taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Have an open mind. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that...) 'Gunnysacking; (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in 'Summarizing self-syndrome' where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other's perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on 'Catastrophizing' i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
Get rid of 'Stereotyping'; (generalizing - all men are like..) and 'Gunnysacking' (cropping up issues from the past having no relevance to current problem).
Don't send double messages- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it is open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner's perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to well-being as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

Are You Happily (n)Ever After?

7 dangerous things that smoking does to your skin

Most people think that having a smoking habit adversely affects only the lungs and the heart. But apart from known links to lung cancer and heart disorders, smoking also causes skin damage. The intensity of damage is directly proportional to the number of cigarettes one smokes in a day and the number of years one has been smoking for.

Here are 7 of the horrible things that smoking does to your skin

1. Premature ageing: the process of skin ageing is accelerated by a smoking habit. The chemicals that are ingested through the smoke cause your skin to age much faster, making it look loose, dull and coarse, with uneven colouring. Most smokers have a muted orange or grey tinge to their complexions.

2. Wrinkles and lines: the nicotine from smoke constricts blood vessels in the outer layers of the skin, thereby cutting off the supply of oxygen and nutrients. This causes the skin to develop visible fine lines and wrinkles at a faster rate.

3. Scarring and pigmentation: since blood is not flowing properly to the outer layers of the skin, it is more susceptible to broken capillaries and veins, which can cause dark scarring and pigmentation on the face and other areas.

4. Darkening of the lips: constant exposure to heat from smoking causes stark darkening and pigmentation in the lips, which also become dry and coarse.

5. Delayed wound healing: the presence of nicotine, tar and other chemicals in the blood causes cuts and wounds on the skin to heal at a much slower pace with an increased risk of infection, blood clot formation and death of skin tissue.

6. Increased risk of skin disease: smoking makes the skin prone to various diseases and conditions like psoriasis, which happen as nicotine adversely affects the body's immune system.

7. High chances of skin cancer: skin cancer and oral cancer are the two lesser known variants of the diseases that can be caused by smoking. Skin cancer is far more common among smokers than among non-smokers.

The harmful effects of smoking on the skin are not entirely discernible until after 10 years of prolonged smoking. Fortunately, your skin starts to heal itself when you kick the habit.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: E-cigarettes : Good Or Bad?

7 Dangerous Changes that Smoking Causes to Your SKIN

Are you suffering from autism and looking for an effective treatment for the condition? Autism is a complex neurological disorder, which is commonly diagnosed in children within three years of age. It is a result of impaired brain functioning and it expresses itself in the form of disrupted social and communication skills in the patient. This condition affects the development of a child by a great extent.

Causes
Autism happens due to several structural and functional changes in the brain. The exact cause of the condition is yet to be determined. Genetic predisposition, metabolic imbalance, intake of certain drugs and the exposure to harmful environmental toxins may lead to autism in children.

Homeopathic treatment
Several protocols of homeopathic treatment are undertaken for treating autistic patients. The method to be used depends on the circumstances of the condition. A variety of homeopathic techniques are required for curing a person with autism. They include the following:

Isopathy is a treatment in which a substance is given to the patient, which cause the illness during homeopathic potency
Classical homeopathic medicines
CEASE Protocol
Homeopathic bowel nasodes, which are considered to be an important part of the recovery process from autism. They help in healing damaged bowels and the symptoms of anxiety and rage.
Biochemical tissue salts are used in autistic patients who face problems in the assimilation of nutrients because of a compromised gastrointestinal tract.
The methods work effectively, along with conventional medicines and other treatment measures like GAPS diet, osteopathy, biomedical intervention, cranial sacral therapy, chelation, and traditional Chinese medicine.

Homeopathic approach towards the treatment of autism
The homeopathic approach in the treatment of autism is holistic in nature, which aims at treating the genetic tendencies along with strategic management. Firstly, a homeopathic evaluation is undertaken for a child with autism, where all details regarding his family medical history, which may be associated with autism, are assessed. The analysis also considers the impaired functions of a child such as his behavior, communication, speech, tantrums and social skills. 

There are around 20 different types of common homeopathic medicines, which are prescribed for the treatment of autism. The exact medicine, its combination, dosage and other support medicines depend on the child s case history.

The homeopathic medicines used for the treatment of autism are completely natural and safe, devoid of any form of harmful toxin. Hence, no side effect is caused on the body while undertaking homeopathic treatment. Using homeopathic measures for about six months will lead to improvements in a child s autism symptoms.

Autism - Role of Homeopathy in Treating it

Symptoms for Bipolar disorder varies from patient to patient. Bipolar 1 and bipolar 2 can vary in terms of signs and symptoms. Both diseases have a different set of symptoms and they are diagnosed according to the merit of the symptoms.

Bipolar 1
Bipolar 1 is characterised by a manic episode. This may be followed by a hypomanic or depressive instance. Symptoms of mania can cause major impairment in life and extreme cases may require hospitalisation. Bipolar 1 patients can suffer from psychosis as well.

Bipolar 2
Bipolar 2 is characterised by a hypomanic instance that lasts for at least four days and one depressive instance lasting for a minimum of two weeks. Bipolar 2 doesn t involve a manic episode. Frequent mood swings and violent behaviour can be major challenge in a patient s life.

Warning signs of manic and hypomanic behaviour:
a. Quick passing thoughts
b. Unusual talkativeness
c. Distraction
d. Increased social activity
e. Inflated sense of self-esteem

Symptoms of bipolar disorder

    Anxious distress: Apprehensions about not finishing a task on time, feeling of restlessness, feeling of losing control, difficulty in concentrating due to distress, fearing an awful event will occur in the near future, etc., are key symptoms of anxiety distress.
    Melancholic features: Patients suffering from bipolar disorder like to be left alone. They may not seek pleasure in any activity and even good things may not have much effect on them.
    Catatonia: This is a condition wherein, a person stops reacting to the environment. Not speaking and holding unusual body positions are some signs of these symptoms. There might be a tendency of mimicking too.
    Psychosis: This is one of the classical symptoms of bipolar disease. It is characterised by hallucination, constant depression and delusions.
    Seasonal pattern: There is a pattern of manic, hypomanic and depressive episodes throughout the year. The pattern might change within a month or season.
    Rapid cycling: The number of mood swings can exceed four or more times in a single year.
    Peripartum onset: This is a condition where bipolar disorder symptoms are witnessed in a pregnant woman during pregnancy or within the four weeks following delivery.

Symptoms in children: It is difficult to find symptoms of bipolar disorder in children and teens. Along with bipolar disorder, kids are most often diagnosed with other mental health problems as well. The problems can result from stress, trauma or chemical imbalance of the brain. Perhaps the biggest symptoms of bipolar disorder in children and teens are their frequent mood swings, chronic depression and feeling of despair. There might be a tendency of oversleeping as well. Reaching out to a doctor or professional help is very necessary for cases related to children and teens.

Bipolar Disorder - 7 Signs You Should Be Aware of 

A traumatic injury refers to a serious brain injury that affects all the aspects of a person including his or her personality. This may be the result of a severe fall, a car accident, firearms etc. Unlike an injury to the arm or leg, no two traumatic injuries have the same effect. These injuries also do not heal like other injuries.

There are many different kinds of treatment options available for traumatic injuries. Initially, treatment aims at stabilizing the individual and assessing the scope of the injury. Acute treatment is used to minimize secondary injuries. In many cases, surgery is also required to prevent secondary injuries and to help maintain a steady flow of oxygenated blood to the brain. This relieves the internal swelling and pressure. It also minimized additional damage to brain tissue. Most patients also need rehabilitative care to get back to their normal life.

Surgical treatment is usually advised in the case of a traumatic head injury. However, in the case of internal brain injuries, this may not be the first preference. In such cases, an intracranial pressure monitoring device or a bolt is implanted to monitor pressure levels in the brain. Only then surgery may be required to drain bleeding in the skull cavity and to repair the torn tissues. Blood clots or hematomas will also need to be removed surgically. Sometimes, surgery may also be required to create a window in the skull so as to relieve internal pressure.

In severe cases, if there is extensive tissue damage, the damaged portion of the brain may be surgically removed. This creates space for the healthy brain tissue to heal. In the case of an open brain injury, surgery is the first course of treatment. In such cases, the doctor s first sim is usually to repair the fractured skull and remove damaged tissue. This minimizes pressure on the brain and also helps prevent secondary infections and injuries.

These surgeries are generally performed while the patient is under general anaesthesia. Recovering from a traumatic brain injury takes time and hospitalization is usually required for a few weeks. Once the injury has healed considerably, rehabilitation is then required to relearn basic skills. This may begin as an inpatient procedure and later be transferred to an outpatient exercise. The duration and type of rehabilitation required vary from case to case and depends on the type and severity of the injury. 

Does Surgery Help In Treating A Traumatic Injury?

Role of relationship problems in depression and suicides - 
Almost everyday we read about people ending their lives by committing suicides from celebrities to common man to even children . Although this is not permitted in any religion and there is a legal debate on whether it should be legalized, the fact remains that people are driven towards this unfortunate step. Let's take a look at the common reasons for suicides to become so very common.

1) Lack of intimacy- We see that although we are surrounded by people most of people are having friends only on Facebook. Even among the people we interact everyday nobody wants to open up with anyone or allow you to open up with them.The fact that you are surrounded by people who don't share themselves with you intimately starts pulling your mind downwards. Work colleagues are bothered only about work, family is only bothered about the income you are generating, partners are obsessed with how much you can spend on them, friends are occupied with what benefits you can share with them. Therefore all in all, despite having all relationships, people feel left out and alone like as if their inner self has been left unwanted and uncared of. The monotony of mechanical life hastens the culmination of this abuse into drastic steps like suicide.

2) High demands- People are often left to fend with high demands from them from their social circle. Many people cannot attempt this and some who attempt are not able to make it. This leaves them with a feeling of failure which is often frowned and looked down upon whether it is a student or a professional. It is no surprise that today even below 10 years olds are successfully attempting suicides.

3) Inappropriate planning- Planning is a key necessity for successful results whether it is financial or relationships. but unfortunately many people are unable to obtain the correct know how which will enable to implement their plans successfully.

4) Inability to cope- Many people plan to do things but are unable to cope with the harsh realities that come with the plans. To some it may be unseen to some unbearable. So although they set out on doing something the journey is not what they had expected.

5) Lack of results- Sometimes although everything is planned well, executed well and completed well it does not fetch us the rewards that may seem appropriate to the level of efforts. This is something that is very difficult to deal for most people and is a result of many unfortunate casualties.

6) Lack of desire-It is very important to have something to look forward to in life. But unfortunately in an age where drinking water and using the toilet cost s money many people cannot think of having something to look forward to and hence this unfortunate step.

Therefore, you have to be very prudent in what we are doing today because we can never predict which way our lives may go and even importantly which way you may yourself go based purely on circumstances beyond our control dependent on the choices we make today or others make for us. Although suicide is not a sensible solution to any problem it does remain a common reality. If you are feeling suicidal please remember to seek help.

Please feel free to consult me privately for further assistance.

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Health Tip - Role of Relationship Problems in Depression and Suicides

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