Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

Do people really suffer from mood disorders?

Mood disorders are common psychological problems that affect a vast portion of the human populace all over the world every year. These occur when there is a shift or imbalance in a person's psyche which affects his or her daily function and interpersonal relations in varying degrees. Each individual is affected by these conditions in a different capacity and responds to them in a distinct manner.

Mood disorders generally manifest themselves as fluctuations in a person's temperament. It is triggered by various factors. These mental illnesses range from mild to severe, the latter requiring urgent psychological counseling and treatment. A mild condition may even develop into a painful and chronic one without any form of remedial intervention.

What are the most common types of mood disorders?

There are many distinctive categories of mood disorders that can affect a person. The most commonly occurring ones are as follows:

- major depressive disorder

- bipolar disorder

- dysthymia

- cyclothymia

- seasonal affective disorder (sad)

Major depression is the most frequently occurring type of mood disorder. It causes mental and emotional turmoil, as well as physical anguish. Those affected by it may experience a single episode in isolation or multiple episodes over a period of time. The milder version of this condition is known as dysthymia.

Bipolar disorder is a comparatively rare condition that causes alternating states of extreme mania and depression. It is also known as manic-depressive illness. The mild version of this is called cyclothymia.

Seasonal affective disorder or sad is a depressive disorder that is known to affect those living in colder climes. It is caused generally by the lack of warmth and light, the onset of which begins in late autumn and lasts till the end of winter.

What causes a mood disorder?

Mood disorders are very difficult to diagnose as they can be caused by an assortment of triggers and the symptoms are not always apparent. This is particularly true in the case of dysthymia and cyclothymia.

Some of the usual factors that lead to mood disorders are:

- chronic stress and anxiety

- anomalies in the functioning of the nervous system

- prolonged periods of isolation

- genetics

- childhood abuse and trauma

- ineffectual coping mechanisms

- insufficient nourishment/malnutrition

In most cases, a combination of multiple factors usually leads to the development of mood disorders and other mental illnesses.

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Related Tip: 5 Mood Uplifting Foods You Must Keep Handy

Do People Really Suffer from Mood Disorders?

Do you believe that the world is a hostile place and you are a victim? Are you the one who often doubts his or her abilities? If so, you might be showing signs of low self-esteem. Interestingly, self-esteem has nothing do with your actual ability or talent. Your looks, weight or skills are not responsible for your low self esteem. It largely depends upon the fact that how you value yourself.

It has been observed in most cases that self-esteem is often affected by a number of reasons, including ill-health, unpleasant memories from the past, and termination of relationships. Low self-esteem is generally marked in survivors of physical or sexual abuse, victims of racial discrimination or people who have had a traumatic past life.

If you don t pay attention towards this issue, you might end up developing certain serious mental disorders. Low self-esteem is also the root cause behind the occurrence of mental disorders like borderline personality disorder, depression, etc. However, there is nothing to worry about it. There are certain simple things that are useful in building up your self-esteem.

Here s all that you need to do to start believing in yourself and be confident about your capabilities:

1. Remember your strong points: Make three separate lists of your strengths; achievements and your qualities that you admire. Take help from your friends, parents and other well-wishers for preparing these lists. These lists will help you in understanding your abilities and goodness. You will be able to believe in your strengths. You must read through these lists at least once daily.

2. Be positive: Optimism and a positive approach towards life are the key to success. Your self-esteem is influenced by the fact that how you look at life. Life is not a bed of roses. It is unavoidable that you will have to face critical situations or problems in life. But, what is important is to face them with courage and a faith in your own abilities. Be positive and stop developing negative thoughts about yourself. Get rid of thoughts like  I am a loser ;  I can t get rid of this problem ; etc.

3. Take care of your body: Your outward appearance sometimes works wonders in lifting up your inner-self and spirits. Keep yourself clean, trim your beard or hairs; cut your nails; don t forget to floss your teeth and maintain overall personal hygiene to develop a feeling of goodness.

4. Sleep well: A good night s sleep is essential for boosting up your self - esteem.

5. Eat right: A balanced diet is a key to good health. Eating the right food in the right way keeps your mental and physical health all right. Include minerals and vitamins in your regular meals. Avoid distractions like television or radio while taking meals.

6. Exercise: Regular workouts keep you away from mental-ill health.

7. Be cool and comfortable first: When it comes to your dressing, try to put on attires that you can carry well. Wear stuffs that you love the most.

How to Build your Self Esteem?

The Power Of Passion

Passion is the energy that can fuel a project, or a task. It gives you the energy to jump out of bed every morning or go to bed late after you have worked out the last block that was stopping your passion from flowing. It has a similar role to inspiration. When we engage in something we are passionate about, we feel free from external and internal blocks and in control. Time recedes into the background, and we feel empowered to engage in flow. 
Research has shown that passion has brought people back to life and start thriving again, making them more emotionally stable and a strong mental equilibrium. Abraham Maslow, a US psychologist said that without passion, nobody would reach their  self actualised  state.

Passion can make or break you. Passion can make you feel invigorated, committed, focussed, connected, courageous, creative, satisfied and productive. A man can be passionate about sports and take out time every week to indulge in his passion, while keeping his boss and family happy. 

On the other hand, it can also ruin your life by being obsessed and possessed by the fire of passion. A workaholic, who doesn t go back home till 2 am and reports to office again at 10 am, he who doesn t see his children nor relaxes or does any physical activity is ensuring a quick burnout in the guise of following a passion. A harmful passion can be diagnosed easily by gauging whether it controls you or you feel in control of your life, which is about harmonious passion.

WHY  YOU MUST NEVER GIVE UP YOUR PASSION

1. Helps you unwind and relax - Zafar liked to do puzzles, crosswords and Sudoku when he started his day. It freshened him up and his mind became sharper as he looked at various permutations and combinations for the words and numbers. Daily new neural pathways were getting stronger in his brain. This exercised his left brain adequately every day. He slept well. Do remember not to do such exercises before sleeping.   

2. Expands your life - Some hobbies like travelling, cooking, collecting trivia has its own benefits. This involves physical activity and meeting up with other people. This helps a person to remain connected with society and keep active. Ram liked travelling so much that he gave up his job to become a globe trotter and tied up with a TV channel to commentate on tourist locations. He earns handsomely from his hobby. His self esteem has doubled since then.

3. Keeps your mind productively channelized - Nandini s problem was that she didn t have anything to do while the kids were away at school. She had started feeling depressed and got headaches often. She knew that she connected well with the children in the neighbourhood and had a flair for painting. She started teaching them painting in the evenings. Soon she became very busy and had no time to get bored.  She not only made new friends, she also earned the respect and awe of her community. She feels energised, happy and motivated to work while looking forward to life.

4. Success at work - Often passion has been linked to success at work. It is seen that people who are passionate, committed and hardworking often excel in their work as they have a goal to achieve. They look forward to their day and any hurdles or failures don t deter them from trying again. Neela was always passionate about becoming an IT professional. She had grown up playing with computers. Despite her family not agreeing with her choice of profession, she went ahead and burnt the midnight oil to score high in school and college. She got picked up in campus placements and today she holds a coveted position in the company. She has motivated many girls from her conservative community to study and get work.

5. Keep away illness - Having a hobby or working passionately has its own share of health benefits. People have reported higher physical and emotional immunity. They had deep and strong bonding with their community. They didn t suffer from insomnia, depression, dementia and anxiety and hope was alive in them till the end. They knew that success and failure are two sides of the same coin. 




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5 Logical Reasons You Must Never Give Up On Your Passion

Top 4 Ways You Can Increase Your Willpower

There are days when you wake up but you don’t want to move out of the bed. When your alarm goes off and you open your eyes feeling groggy and disoriented.Times when you accept defeat and stop moving towards what you want to achieve in life. These are just indicators of being low on motivation and lacking will power to chnage things. It’s more psychological than physical. Follow these simple tips, to come out of your cocoon and boost your willpower. 

Try these four ways to up your willpower.

1) Meditate - Meditation is the key to unleashing your powers, especially willpower. Practicing mindfulness, even for few minutes a day can help in boosting your willpower.

2) Exercise - The magic pill of exercise is another best way to boost your willpower. It is recommended that you exercise for 30 minutes, at least three times a week to ensure that you feel fitter, reduce your anxiety levels and boost your overall willpower to achieve bigger and better things in life.

3) Hold yourself accountable - That’s one of the best ways to boost your willpower. If you hold yourself accountable in your own life, if you know that those reasons of not getting out of the bed are mere excuses, then you would certainly increase your willpower.

4) Set Goals - One of the reasons why people experience a faltering in their will power is the fact that they don’t set their goals. Setting definitive targets is a must.You must ensure that the goal is set with measurable quantities, is specific, attainable, relevant and timely. All of this will certainly help you in enhancing your willpower.

If you have any further questions, ask me by clicking on 'consult'.

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Top 4 Ways You Can Increase Your Willpower

Procrastination is a way of sabotaging oneself by putting off activities and delaying success. This is an emotional and mental obstacle that many people face in varying degrees. So here is everything you need to know about procrastination.

It becomes a lifestyle: As per medical research, about 20% of the people who procrastinate, have been doing it on a chronic basis and can now safely say that this is a lifestyle and not just a habit that one has fallen prey to.
It is cultivated: Contrary to popular belief, procrastination is not something that anyone is born with. It is cultivated with constant inaction over a period of years, which also includes the act of making excuses to put off a task.
Excessive alcohol consumption: In many cases, procrastinators will end up enjoying higher consumption of alcohol than their contemporaries. This may be done to alleviate boredom before the excessive consumption becomes a habit, which further dulls the senses.
Hiding from the truth: It has been seen that procrastinators often lie to themselves or hide the truth about their problem by making mindless excuses, which do not actually exist. They are chronic liars who come to believe their lies, which can give rise to even more severe behavioural issues.
Distractions: Most people who procrastinate will look for distractions that will keep them from doing their work properly. This may include watching television or eating, or even doing mindless chores that are not important.
Focus: Many of these procrastinators have problems when it comes to focusing and finding solutions for various tasks. They cannot prioritise and put their mind to a certain task, which also prevents them from understanding the requirements for completing that task.
Avoiders: These types of procrastinators usually avoid doing the tasks that will lead them to success. They do not make the effort to carry out the necessary tasks in a proper manner.
Decisional procrastinators: These kind of procrastinators simply cannot find the motivation to take a decision that will change the direction of their lives by putting one step in front of the other on a daily basis.
Cost of procrastination: There is a huge cost that is borne by these kinds of people in the long run. While missing deadlines, losing jobs and not graduating from college are just some of the consequences, many of them also come down with a plethora of health conditions including gastrointestinal diseases.
Therapy for procrastination: The best way to transform a procrastinator is with the help of cognitive behavioural therapy, which can help in reprogramming the brain with fruitful, guided discussions and internal dialogues. This kind of therapy works well in the long run.

10 Things You Must Know About Procrastination

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