Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

Schizophrenia is a brain disorder that affects how a person sees the world. Schizophrenia makes it difficult for you to distinguish between what is real or unreal. It can stop you from thinking clearly, handling your emotions properly or functioning in a normal way. However, one can manage schizophrenia effectively. The best way is to recognise the signs and symptoms that one might be having. Here is how you can recognise the symptoms of schizophrenia:

Delusions: A delusion is an idea that a person might have despite there being obvious evidence that it is not true or does not exist. These are extremely common in schizophrenia and occur in ninety percent of the people with this disorder. These delusions can be of many types:
Delusion of persecution: When a person believes that someone is out to get them.
Delusion of reference: a very neutral environmental event tends to have a personal meaning to them. They might think that a person on the TV or a billboard is trying to send a message specifically for them.
Delusion of control: In this, a person believes that his or her actions are being controlled from the outside.
Hallucinations: These are sensations or sounds that a person experiences as real when they only exist in that person s mind. Visual hallucinations are relatively more common. These are only meaningful to the person who is experiencing them. These voices or visuals are usually horrific, vulgar, abusive or critical. They tend to increase in intensity when the person is alone.
Disorganized speech: People who suffer from this order have a hard time maintaining or concentrating on certain thoughts. They may start sentences and forget what they were talking about. They might even go off track in the middle of conversations. People with this disorder usually say illogical things and speak incoherently. A patient may also make up words or phrases that only have a meaning to them.
Disorganized symptoms: A person is unable to take care of himself or herself or their work. They face a decline in their overall daily functioning and their behaviours are bizarre and may have no purpose. People with this disorder cannot control their impulses.
Negative symptoms: This refers to the absence of behaviours that usually appear normal to other people. These include lack of expressing oneself emotionally, lack of interest or enthusiasm. These also include speech difficulties or abnormalities as well as their lack of interest in the world.
Schizophrenia can be caused due to many reasons. These include lack of oxygen during birth, exposure to a virus during infancy, physical or sexual abuse, depression, hereditary components or enlarged brain ventricles. This disorder can affect a patient s mental as well as physical health and can endanger the people around them as well as their relationships. Hence, the signs and symptoms should be recognised as early as possible in order to get the right kind of treatment.

Schizophrenia - How To Recognize The Signs?

Depression is a clinical, mental, and emotional condition that may give rise to feelings of hopelessness and chronic sadness. It slows down the way people process everyday activities and leads the patient to a sense of constant gloom and doom. It is a disabling mental condition as per who, and may be caused due to reasons like genetics, changes in the balance of hormones, stress, grief, trauma and prolonged, chronic physical ailments. Depression is also connected with food and nutrition. Do you want to know how? 
Read on to see the three ways in which food and depression are connected. 

1. Severity and duration: depression is a mental illness that signifies an imbalance in the hormones and the emotional faculties in the brain. Nutrition is the fuel that keeps the brain and body in prime working condition. When a depressive state sets in or becomes emotionally rooted, then nutritious eating and a proper diet take a back seat as the patient succumbs to a state where he or she is not concerned about the food intake. As a result, the brain and hormonal balance get further affected. This can have an adverse effect on the severity and the duration of the depressive mode, which makes it all a vicious cycle of sorts. Poor appetite, not having proper meals, skipping meals, eating junk, avoiding social settings where food will be served, and even emotional eating are all outcomes of depression too.

2. Eating disorders: many patients who have eating disorders often experience deep rooted and chronic depression. Since despondency and hopelessness are the main characteristics of depressive behaviour, the outcome is that the patient tries to behave in a way that seeks approval. And in all this, the patient usually thinks that he or she is not'good enough. In such a scenario, the patient may start trying out fad diets and eventually fall prey to eating disorders like bulimia that make the patient overeat and then vomit. These eating disorders usually come with phases of binge eating, throwing up, starving and then repeating the cycle again. Eating in secrecy is also a symptom of this condition.

3. Nutrition to fight depression: nutrition and proper food intake can build a sense of resilience by first of all improving the overall physical condition of the patient. This can take care of a lot of angst even as the minerals and vitamins travel to the brain for better functioning in the long run.

Ensure that you eat right as a part of your therapy for depression. This is as good as taking your medication on time!

Three Ways Depression Is Connected With Food

Asperger's syndrome has been found to affect people at a tender age. The augmented impacts of this syndrome are felt as you grow up. It is a neurological disorder falling under the scope of autistic spectrum disorders. However, it is a milder form of autism and has similarly unidentifiable causes. A person afflicted with asperger's syndrome will not exhibit stark signs of the disorder. These persons are usually smart and brilliant but face issues in communicating or interacting socially. 

Factors that may result in this disorder: 

A) genetic factors could also afflict you with such a syndrome. Thus, it is important to carry your family history while consulting a doctor.
B) certain changes in a person's brain could create trouble. 
C) your body could be susceptible to external toxins: many times bacteria and viruses from a polluted environment can lead you to such a serious neurological condition.

Ways to diagnose asperger's syndrome: 
1. A doctor would concentrate on your child's speech- language development can hint at many underlying health issues. Your child might fail to process speech around him or her which impairs its own speech.

2. Exchanges in a social setup could be indicative of something- children or adults could find social 
Gatherings challenging. They feel awkward to interact with friends, relatives and colleagues. It takes a lot of effort on their part to exchange basic pleasantries. A doctor will be able to deduce from such symptoms.

3. Facial expressions while conversing could help diagnosis- a person's facial expressions tell a lot about how they formulate or feel about things. Their words, at the same time, could be contrary. Counselors lay stress on frequent sittings to closely note the gestures made by a patient. 

4. Comprehension and coordination capabilities- your child or loved one might find it difficult to handle motor regulated appliances. Comprehending instructions could also be a test. People suffering from asperger's syndrome face problems in understanding simple things. 

5. Responding to change will also be taken into consideration- patients trying to cope with this syndrome are usually not open to change. They take a very long time to adapt to a given way of life; a sudden change will thwart their idea of normalcy.

Causes and Diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome

Can true love happen more than once?

The world revolves around love. Our movies, books, stories, ambitions, desires, anything and everything, is guided by the magical power of love. Shahrukh khan famously said in his movie kuch kuch hota hai, that 'love can only happen once'. Is that true or, can true love happen more than once?

The question occurs more often than not when someone is going through a breakup, or when people wait and stay single, guided by the belief that there is only one perfect person for everyone, who would give them a happily ever after.

Let's see what truth really is.

There is no set algorithm or formula to say how many partners one can actually sustain in a lifetime. That depends on the idea of love individually for different people. Some people after a failed relationship give up the fight, and give up on the idea of love too, thinking that they had gotten once chance, and they blew it. While on the other hand, some people move on from one relationship to another, investing equally in every relationship, and never losing hope on finding their happiness.

The notion of just one love per lifetime may have been imbibed in us by the society that promotes monogamy. Insisting that it is morally correct for a couple to always stand by each other, no matter how incompatible they may be.

But the more pressing reason for the above notion is fear. The fear of falling in love again, and losing at it again, stops many people from even considering that as an option. There is a comfort in thinking that you tried your hand at love, but failed, and thus, never trying again will never let you suffer from the inexplicable pain that the failed love left you with.

However, we as humans, having the ability to connect with our family and friends, are designed to love more than one person in our lives. So it is clear that we are capable of falling in love again. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and truly so.

There are many people out there who you will be able to connect with, feel immensely happy around, and feel at home with. The thought that there is only one perfect person for everyone is not just restrictive, but also unhealthy. If you feel too damaged to love again or too scared to love even for the first time, try to look at the feeling logically than emotionally. Try to assess your compatibility with the person; see if your interests match, see what differentiates you both that'll help you both grow; see if you are able to picture a future with them, and so on.

Sometimes our past baggage or our fears clog our judgment. We all deserve second chances in life, and hence, we deserve a second, or even a third or fourth chance at love. So, do not stop at one failed relationship. Go out and seek love again in a person who is able to provide you with a more fulfilling and emotionally satisfying relationship.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.

Is Shahrukh correct when he says 'Love can happen only once'?

Schizophrenia has been recognized as a mental disorder that combines symptoms like hallucinations with distorted thinking and others like fright and severe paranoia. This condition is one that gets progressively worse over time and leads to delusional thinking. Oversleeping and complaining of fatigue are usually the earliest signs of this condition's onset. Eventually, it becomes a debilitating factor in the life of the patient, who will not be able to function in a normal way due to the severe symptoms.

Read on to know more about the types and causes of this condition:

Genetic Causes: Schizophrenia may be caused due to genetic factors and it may be a learned or inherited disorder. It is known to affect patients who have a parent or a sibling who may have suffered from this condition. Yet, one must also remember that Schizophrenia can only be influenced by genetics, and not determined by the same.
Environmental Causes: When there has been an exposure to a viral infection during the pre natal stage, the patient is susceptible to this condition. Also, it may affect children who have been subject to the loss of a parent or separation at an early age. Physical and emotional abuse in one's childhood may also bring on this condition. Low level of oxygen at the time of birth is one of the causes of this condition in many patients.
Anomalies in Brain Structure: When the brain ventricles of the patient are enlarged, he or she may be prone to this condition. Also, anomalies in the temporal lobes and amygdala have links with the onset of this condition.
Types: A wide variety of mental and medical conditions can manifest with psychotic symptoms that must be considered in the differential diagnosis of schizophreniform disorder. These include psychotic disorder due to another medical condition or its treatment; delirium or major neurocognitive disorder; substance/medication-induced psychotic disorder or delirium; depressive or bipolar disorder with psychotic features; schizoaffective disorder; other specified or unspecified bipolar and related disorder; depressive or bipolar disorder with catatonic features; schizophrenia; brief psychotic disorder; delusional disorder; other specified or unspecified schizophrenia spectrum and other psychotic disorder; schizotypal, schizoid, or paranoid personality disorders; autism spectrum disorder; disorders presenting in childhood with disorganized speech; attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder; obsessive-compulsive disorder; posttraumatic stress disorder; and traumatic brain injury.
Since the diagnostic criteria for schizophreniform disorder and schizophrenia differ primarily in duration of illness, the discussion of the differential diagnosis of schizophrenia also applies to schizophreniform disorder. 

Brief psychotic disorder. Schizophreniform disorder differs in duration from brief psychotic disorder, which has a duration of less than 1 month.

Residual Schizophrenia is a condition where the patient does not experience the various debilitating symptoms of the condition, and is on the road to recovery. Yet, even in this type of Schizophrenia, the patient will not really show any interest in life and the activities around him or her. Finally, the last type of Schizophrenia is Schizoaffective Disorder which is characterised by the symptoms of Schizophrenia as well as the symptoms of major mood disorders. When combined, this condition can lead to major complications and complex behavior.

A patient suffering from this condition will need to see a mental health specialist like a psychiatrist or a psychologist on an immediate basis. The treatment will be carried out on a long term basis for the results to start appearing.

Schizophrenia - Know the Causes Behind it

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