Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding and not a binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on how you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And, failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticise and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn't! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don't happen your way but have you tried to 'express' your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships results in frustration, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the 'progress' in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not up to it. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A 'No' from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don't want to do that right now! Feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you're taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C's : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using 'I feel' statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you're taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Have an open mind. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that...) 'Gunnysacking; (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in 'Summarizing self-syndrome' where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other's perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on 'Catastrophizing' i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
Get rid of 'Stereotyping'; (generalizing - all men are like..) and 'Gunnysacking' (cropping up issues from the past having no relevance to current problem).
Don't send double messages- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it is open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner's perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to well-being as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

Are You Happily (n)Ever After?

The Mind of a Smoker 

There are a few instances when our body and mind refuse to acknowledge rationality, and quickly give in to carvings. Alcohol abuse, junk foods, depressant medications are a few of them. Among these, the most harmful is undoubtedly, smoking. In today's time, almost everyone knows about the ill-effects of tobacco. But despite our knowledge, we continue to give in and smoke. Let us have a look in depth about the usage, and the various steps one can use to come out of this dangerous habit. 

Ill-Effects of Smoking 

Smoking is dangerous for your health, and quitting can vastly reduce your risk of getting a disease related to the heart or lung. There is also a 50% chance that your life expectancy will be less due to smoking. On an average, a smoker has 10 - 12 years of lesser life expectancy than that of the nonsmoker. Also, quitting tobacco products can greatly reduce your chances of getting cancer. A smoker is always in the higher risk group of getting a tumor in the voice box (larynx), mouth, throat, intestines, kidney, and pancreas. Smoking can also hamper your sexual urge and erectile strength. Pregnant women who smoke carry a greater risk of having babies with many complications. 

How to Curb Smoking 

Quit smoking, and you can see visible differences right away. Your breathing will improve, and your asthma symptoms will likely to get better once you quit. Apart from a healthier you, you can also avoid health complications for your family members. Passive smoking is as harmful as active smoking, and a passive smoker is also easily susceptible to the complications of that of a smoker. Do not opt for lighter nicotine content cigarettes, as they have advertised that they contain less tar and nicotine. They simply do not, and they are equally harmful to you. Once the decision has been made, quit it altogether. Also stay away from chewing tobacco products. There are many ways by which you can quit smoking. Consult with your doctor in case you need medications for staying away. 

There are safe non-nicotine gums and chewing tablets for curbing the smoking feel and sensation. There are also self-help groups and treatment centers that can rehabilitate you from your habits. Indulge yourself in activities that keep you happy and passionate. Try signing up for your favorite sports and keep yourself occupied at all times. Always be positive, and do not give into temptation. Believe in yourself and always remember that you are also spoiling the health and wealth of your near and dear ones. Your children follow you, and they can easily be misguided. Be a role model to them and quit smoking, and inculcate the healthy habit now and forever.

Strategies and Medications to Stop Smoking, and Benefits of Stopping Tobacco Use!

Schizophrenia is a psychiatric disorder in which a person s mood, knowledge, thought and several other characteristics gets disturbed. We can notice most of the adults and old people with few symptoms of schizophrenia, which are most commonly left unidentified. The exact cause of schizophrenia is not yet known. The person feels that they are being constantly watched, they feel the presence of someone or something, which is not actually there. They are always suspicious and think that other people are gossiping and thinking about them.

Possible causes of Schizophrenia
Though the exact cause of schizophrenia is not known there are few factors, which contribute to the cause of schizophrenia.

    Genetic factors: People with a family history of schizophrenia are at higher risk of getting schizophrenia.
    Environmental factors: Environmental factors include excessive stress during pregnancy or later stages of life. Several other factors during pregnancy and childhood are responsible for causing schizophrenia. These factors are:
        Decreased oxygen level during delivery due to premature birth or prolonged labour
        Parental loss or separation in early stages of life
        Parental exposure to virus or during infancy
        Childhood physical or sexual abuse
        Abnormal brain structures and brain chemistry

Sings and symptoms of schizophrenia

    Hallucination: To see, feel or hear anything that really does not exist is known as hallucination.
    Delusion: A thought or belief of a person, which is either false or impossible in reality is known as delusion.
    Thought and speech disturbances: The thought process and speech of a schizophrenic will be disorganized, due to which he or she  will fumble or is distracted as they are unable to align their thoughts.
    Difficulty in concentrating: It is difficult for people suffering from schizophrenia to concentrate on the task at hand.
    Erratic behaviour: People suffering from schizophrenia tend to behave erratically, either they will be too jumpy or will be perfectly still for hours at a stretch. Most people belief that those who are suffering from schizophrenia are often violent in nature, which actually is not the case.

Treatment for schizophrenia
Schizophrenia can be treated, if identified at an early stage. . It is best advised to consult a psychiatrist the moment you spot the symptoms. Anti psychotic drugs, self help behaviour change, counselling and rehabilitation are few treatment modalities available for schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia: Can Genetics be the Reason Behind it?

When you hear the word  schizophrenia , the first thing that comes to mind are those serial killers shown on the TV or you call it split personality. But that is not the true meaning of it. It is not split personality or some kind of violent illness. Schizophrenia is a severe chronic mental illness which makes it difficult to differentiate between what is real and what is false.

As this is a mental illness, you will not be able to see any changes physically. You need to understand the symptoms of schizophrenia in order to know if a person is suffering from this problem. There are different kinds of symptoms that are used for diagnosing schizophrenia, but they all differ from person to person. Also, the symptoms that you see now, may not be seen later as the disease progresses. There are different types of schizophrenia and each has different symptoms.

Here is a list of the different types of schizophrenia and the most predominant and significant symptoms of each type.

Paranoid Schizophrenia: People suffering from paranoid schizophrenia are characterized by strong auditory hallucinations and of being persecuted. However, they are very normal and function normally. But they are not ready to discuss their feelings openly and the symptoms are not observable. Other symptoms include anger, hostility and disorganized speech.
Disorganized Schizophrenia: As the name suggests, people with disorganized schizophrenia exhibit disorganized thoughts. Delusions and hallucination may not be seen in this type of schizophrenia. The behavior of the affected person is quite disorganized or it is difficult to understand what they are saying. In fact, some emotions exhibited by the affected person are hard to understand or they are not at all relevant to the current situation. Their daily routine and activities will also be affected.
Catatonic Schizophrenia: People with catatonic schizophrenia are characterized by increased or decreased movement. This symptom actually varies from person to person. Some people stay at a place for a long time without any kind of movement and some people keep moving for hours and do not stop. They do not speak for hours and sometimes they keep repeating the same thing over and over again. This has to be treated immediately as they will not be able to manage even their daily routine with this kind of behavior.
Undifferentiated Schizophrenia: Undifferentiated schizophrenia is a condition where the symptoms do not fall into any of the above three types. You will also be able to observe hallucinations, delusions, anger, disorganized speech or catatonic behavior.
Residual Schizophrenia: As the name suggests, it is the residue of schizophrenia behavior, but it is less severe as compared to the past. Delusions, hallucination and disorganized speech may still be present but compared to the past, the patient would be doing better. 

Schizophrenia - 5 Types & Their Signs!

Schizophrenia is a neurological disorder that affects an individual s ability to feel, think, or behave properly. Schizophrenia makes it hard for a person to tell reality from fantasy.

The symptoms of schizophrenia are:

  Hearing voices in the head
  Hallucinations
  Fearfulness
  The urge to withdraw from society and social activities
  Difficulty concentrating

Although one can control the symptoms of schizophrenia with antipsychotic drugs, therapy can drastically improve their quality of life. The therapy combines both counselling and medication. Several types of therapy can help a schizophrenic. The most commonly practised are:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

This is a kind of interactive therapy session, which works only if a collective relation between the therapist and the individual suffering from schizophrenia is established. It is about analyzing the problem and setting goals to overcome it.

  The therapist focuses on the psychotic elements of schizophrenia (illusions and hallucinations) and helps the schizophrenic separate delusions and reality. It starts simply with learning to de-stress. CBT includes behavioural experiments, reality tests, cognitive restructuring.

  The schizophrenic is taught to avoid being confrontational and not to fear the psychotic experiences. Therapy helps strike a balance between the two extremes of psychotic and non-psychotic experiences.



Art Therapy

Art Therapy acts as a unique medium of expression for a schizophrenic.

  A person suffering from schizophrenia often finds it difficult to express himself/herself. With the patient guidance of a therapist, the individual uses paint, clay or other materials to voice their thoughts, feelings and fears.

  Art therapy also incorporates music, poetry, drama (any art form that the schizophrenic is comfortable with). Art Therapy works in groups as well. Interacting in a group teaches social skills. Communicating with people suffering from similar problems helps them get a better perspective and reduces the symptoms associated with the condition.

Family Therapy

Families are often confused about how to deal with the symptoms of schizophrenia. Family therapy is about establishing a bond between the schizophrenic and his/her family.

  Most importantly, bonding with the family helps gives an emotional boost to the individual. Knowing that she/he has the family s love and support brings down hallucinatory episodes. Surveys suggest that family therapy helps improve the quality of life for a schizophrenic.

Therapy can help suppress the terrifying hallucinations and illusions and help a schizophrenic cope with his/her condition. However, at the end of the day, what a schizophrenic needs more than therapy and anti-psychotic drugs are your understanding and support.

Schizophrenia - Symptoms And Therapeutic Treatments Of It!

If you are living with bipolar disorder then you will need a combination of skills to successfully combat each day of your life. Educating yourself about the disorder is the first step, however, there are certain tips that can come in handy on numerous occasions. 

Here are 5 tips that will really help you out:

Educate yourself about the disorder: The first thing you need to do is educate yourself about the details of bipolar disorder. Find out about the symptoms, read about the causes and the diagnosis procedure and ultimately find out everything about the treatment. Your doctor will provide you all the information and suggest you all the required treatment procedures. However, don t try to self-diagnose and self-treat your disorder without an expert opinion.
Stay connected with your friends and loved ones: Isolation is not the best way to handle bipolar disorder. The more you isolate yourself the higher the risk of mood swings. This lack of connection will lead to depression and that should be avoided at all cost. So try to be as connected to the world as possible. Talk to your family members, hangout with your friends, spend time with people around you; and you will feel a lot better.
Track the symptoms: Keep a daily log of your moods, thoughts and behaviors. This is a fantastic way to track the symptoms of the disorder. This will be revealing in the end, as when you present them before the doctor, he/she will be able to easily diagnose your condition. Try to keep track of particular incidents that may trigger any stress and change in behavior and log the mood episodes that you may have experienced pertaining to those triggers.
Employ coping mechanisms: It is not always possible to call on your doctor or counselor, so try to develop your own coping mechanism with the help of your doctor or counselor. Your mood episodes are going to be spontaneous so the coping mechanisms should be kept in mind. It can be anything that induces calmness in you such as staying connected, happy thoughts, music and any other healthy habits that captures your interest and engages you in something else.
Create a crisis plan: Create a contact list that will include the people, serially, who should be contacted in case of an emergency or a crisis attack. If you feel like you are experiencing any symptoms then contact them for help. When you are out of control, you will not have much time, so it is also advised to keep emergency numbers on speed dial to get yourself hospitalized without any time loss. Add your loved ones to the emergency contact list.


Suffering from Bipolar Disorder - 5 Things That Can Really Help!

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