Marriages very well might be bonds made in heaven, but for all practical reasons, they remain enacted on earth. When two different people meet, it s the union of two different mind-cultures too. It contains two diverse goals, two different habits of living, dissimilar aspirations & overall different priorities, that needs to be fused to restart a new common journey.

"To know themselves in order to discover the other  is the key here. Most relationships will get strained at some time, resulting in a failure to function optimally and produce self-reinforcing, maladaptive patterns. These patterns may be called "negative interaction cycles".

There are many possible reasons for this, including insecure attachment, ego, arrogance, jealousy, anger, greed, poor communication/understanding or problem-solving, ill health, third parties and so on. Changes in situations like financial state, physical health, and the influence of other family members can have a profound influence on the conduct, responses, and actions of the individuals in a relationship. Marriages require the maximum efforts from both the individuals.

Given the growing concept of individualism and personal independence, people fail to put in or sometimes understand the requirement of working towards their marriage, leaving them searching for an escape route as soon as the going gets tough. Marital issues may lead to major individual psychological problems with each partner trying to hurt the other emotionally as the relationship gets bitter.

Consequently, divorce rates in this country have shown a considerable increase in the past decade. This article should help you figure out some of the ways to save and improve the bond that is marriage while keeping the importance of individualism and personal space in mind-

Teamwork: It is essential for both the individuals to work towards their marriage and show equal commitment. With only one person trying to build a better relationship while the other one shows minimal effort and goes astray reduces the sense of belongingness; eventually leading to estrangement.

Take Responsibility: Apologize when it s your mistake and take responsibility for your actions, instead of going around in a continuous loop of the blame game.

Keep the Spark Alive: Take out time for each other whenever possible. A simple date night once in a while or a weekend getaway with undivided attention to the partner helps to keep the romance alive in long term relationships which more often than not fades away with time, without effort from the partners.

Appreciate: Appreciating the partner s efforts are probably the most important factor in any marriage. It avoids the individual feeling as though he/she has been taken for granted; which is the root cause of most marital problems.

Therapy: Marital therapy is usually beneficial when people are unable to deal with their differences within the marriage. Through marital counselling, you can make thoughtful decisions about rebuilding and strengthening your relationship or going your separate ways. The therapist can help with many specific issues, including communication problems, sexual difficulties, conflicts about child rearing, intrusion from extended family, substance abuse, anger, and infidelity.

Marriage counselling might also be helpful in cases of domestic abuse. In a collectivist society like ours, family therapy is usually used because the families of both partners play a major role in their lives. Family therapy is a type of psychological counselling (psychotherapy) that can help family members improve communication and resolve conflicts.

Marriage - How To Strengthen It?

5 awesome Bill Gates personality traits you can help your child pick up

Do you want to know what makes Bill Gates not just a mega-successful businessman but also a great human being? Well apart from outstanding business chops and an IQ of 160 of course. It is his attitude to life in general. If you want to see your child touch the peak of success personally and professionally, the apple of your eye should have certain integral personality traits. Here’s how you can effectively imbibe them in him/her. And there’s no better day to get started than today, the Microsoft founder’s Birthday!

1. Make your child a fighter.
We’ve often heard Bill Gates exhorting people to not give up despite the odds against them. “Life is not fair, get used to it” is his golden mantra. When your child seems down and beaten, always be there to support and encourage him, just like Gates’ parents were there to nurture his dream of computer programming from their club’s funds.

2. Inculcate traits of sensitivity and warmth.
A life lesson Gates champions is that of giving back to the society through his notable charitable endeavours such as the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. So how do you teach your child to realise his dream in this highly competitive world without losing his compassion? The answer is simple; encourage your child to perform small, daily acts of kindness like donating part of his pocket money, helping an elderly to cross the road or feeding the poor.

3. ‘No’ to shortcuts. ‘yes’ to patience and honesty.
Bill Gates is a strong believer of hard work. He’ll tell you that you need to work hard to realise your dream with shortcuts being a no-go. If your child is tempted to indulge in shortcuts, do not hesitate to gently admonish him. To be patient and honest consistently is hard even for us adults. Nevertheless, make yourself a role model for your child.

4. Stay humble.
One of the reasons behind the immense success of Microsoft’s founder is that he sees great opportunities even in the smallest and lowliest of work. “Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity” He’s famously been quoted time and again. If you want your child to climb the ladders of success like this monumental man encourage him to get his hands dirty. You could begin with getting him to help out in household chores to get your point across.

5. Learn to learn from your mistakes.
The man of wisdom strongly advises to teach your child to learn from his mistakes. Whenever your child does something wrong, give him some time and space to understand his mistakes so that the lessons learnt remain with him for life. If the lesson turns out to be positive then the mistake made was worth it. In time, your little tyke will no longer depend on you or others to correct his mistakes. We’ll be looking at a self-sufficient person in his own right.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.


Happy Birthday, Bill Gates! Top 5 Gates’ personality traits your child can pick up

Addiction not only includes physical things we consume, such as drugs or alcohol, but also includes virtually anything, such abstract things as gambling to seemingly harmless products, such as chocolate, etc. In other words, addiction may refer to a substance dependence (e. G. Drug addiction) or behavioral addiction (e. G. Gambling addiction).

Causes

There is a link between the repeated uses of an addictive substance and how the human brain experience pleasure, its use has a nice reward, leading to further and more frequent use. The addictive substance, be it nicotine, alcohol or some drug actually causes physical changes in some nerve cells in the brain. After a while, the user of the potentially addictive substance does not get the same pleasure and has to increase the dose, as his/her body's tolerance to it increases. Eventually, the user no longer experiences pleasure from the substance and takes it simply to prevent withdrawal symptoms taking the substance just makes them feel normal. When tolerance increases, the risk of addiction is much greater.

Signs and symptoms

A person starts to show symptoms when a person takes the substance, such as nicotine, alcohol etc. And has given a serious attempt to stop, but is unable to do so because of the withdrawal symptoms. The body of an addict will go in withdrawal state when once the level of the substance abused is below a certain level. When a person goes in withdrawal state it will show signs, such as craving, bouts of moodiness, bad temper, poor focus, extreme temperament, poor focus, continuous feeling of depression, emptiness, frustration, anger, bitterness and resentment. Apart from these the addict will also display symptoms such as increased appetite, insomnia, constipation, and diarrhea. Withdrawal caused by some substances can also trigger signs like violence, seizures, hallucination, sweating and trembling, etc. However, the addiction continues despite health problem awareness. An addicted person commonly feels they need their drug in order to deal with their problems.

Investigation of addiction

Blood test is advised to determine whether the substance is still in the blood (whether the substance has been taken recently). Dsm criteria for substance dependence that is a patient diagnosed with substance dependence (an addiction) must meet criteria laid out in the dsm (diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders), a manual published by the american psychiatric association.

What you can do?

Acknowledge the problem and consult for help from an expert. Family members must be supportive in creating a congenial environment for the addicted person.

Role of homeopathy in management of addiction

The first step for the addicted person is to acknowledge that there is a substance dependency problem (addiction problem). The next step is to get help. In most of the world there are several support groups and professional services available. Treatment options for addiction depend on several factors, including what type of substance it is and how it affects the patients. Typically, treatment includes a combination of inpatient and outpatient programs, counselling (psychotherapy), self-help groups, pairing with individual sponsors, and medication.

Talking of medication, homoeopathy definitely has a major role to play in the de-addiction journey of a'patient. Over the years it has been seen that homeopathy has produced tremendous results in such cases. People have approached for quitting alcohol, smoking, drugs, etc. And majority of them have been wonderfully helped by homoeopathy. Those who haven't achieved desirable results have either lacked willingness or conviction on their own part, or have had a non-congenial and non-co-operative environment at home and work place. For any de-addiction plan to be successful for a patient these 2 factors are the most important. A willing person with a co-operative and supportive environment is much more receptive and responsive to the medical treatment.

The commonest attacking area for any addictive substance is the central nervous system (cns). The substance inhibits the release of neurotransmitters, which are responsible for carrying nerve impulses. Once these neurotransmitters are inhibited in their normal functioning, a person develops delayed nervous responses and irregular nerve impulses leading to addiction. It is a vicious circle. So, as the centre of attack is the cns, a medical system that boosts and strengthens the cns would automatically prove beneficial in such dreadful cases. Homoeopathy is that very medical science! the homoeopathic medicines are absorbed through the nerve root endings of the tongue and directly hit the cns. There are some very powerful homoeopathic medicines, which have the ability to shake up the cns and work in a normal manner as it is used to be. These homoeopathic medicines, thus have the ability to develop control and also the power to abstain from the substance in later stages of the treatment.

But the first and foremost attempt is made to manage the withdrawal symptoms. It is the fear of the withdrawal symptoms only that a patient may lose conviction and confidence in him and give in to the indulgence once again. This is where the role of family and friends also comes in. When the struggle of 1 man becomes fight for the whole team; chances are very high of coming out victorious. There are brilliant medicines in homoeopathic science, which can help the person in managing and fighting with the withdrawal symptoms with ease. Medicines like nux vomica, kali phos, arsenic album, coffea cruda, aconite, gelsemium, argentum nitricum, ipecac, acid sulphurosum, caladium, daphna indica, quercus, etc. Have proved to be extremely effective in helping a person wean off completely of the addictive substances.

Mind the mind

Over the past two issues, we took up the burning problem of addiction as a mental illness, explored its, nature and probable causes that go into the making of an addict. The current issue is aimed at spreading awareness about the available evidence based psychological treatments for de-addiction.

1. Psychotherapy: also called as'talk therapy, is aimed at helping the patient to understand the link between their thoughts, feelings and behaviour so that the maladaptive ones can be replaced with more adaptive and productive processes. Interventions in terms of cognitive behaviour therapy (cbt), motivation enhancement therapy (met) and behaviour therapy are efficient in the treatment of addiction behaviour.

2. Craving control: use of certain medicines and behavioural techniques can help a person deal with the intense feelings of craving when it seems too much to bear. It gives a sense of greater control to the person over the substance, which in turn motivates him/her to stay away from using the substance. Many people report that they tend to continue the abuse the substance since they are unable to handle the period of intense craving, which can come all of a sudden.

3. Relapse prevention: arguably it is the most important component of de-addiction program. Leaving the substance is not that hard, but staying away from it is the most difficult part as reported by many patients with addiction. To ensure that the person stays clean and healthy without the substance, they are taught some techniques like asking for help whenever they feel the need to do the substance or staying away from potentially, dangerous situations, like going to party where alcohol is available. With therapy, the individual gains more confidence in his/her own abilities rather than depending on the substance for facing life situations. In addition to this, they also start enjoying their life without the substance. Both the patient and his/her family play an important part in this process hence they are educated about it and are advised regarding appropriate ways of ensuring sobriety for the patient.

4. Alcoholics anonymous (aa): it is a self-hellp group in which ex-alcoholics come together and share their experiences, for instance how they got into drinking, how it affected their life and now how they are maintaining their sobriety. These are mostly weekly sessions and have been found to be very effective in supporting the recovery of alcoholics to stay motivated and be clean without the use of alcohol. Similar to aa, there is na (narcotics anonymous for drug addicts) and al-anon (for the family members and friends of problem drinkers).

5. Yoga and exercise: a healthy daily routine with yoga or regular exercise promotes feelings of general well-being and ensures healthy mind and body. It detoxifies the body faster and even helps in recovering from the damage caused due to excessive substance use.

6. Social skill training: an important aspect for being away from drugs/alcohol is the ability to say no to such offers from others. Assertive behaviour, healthy communication pattern and good problem solving ability are skills that are taught to assist the person to stay healthy without feeling the need to take the substance.

One of the simplest, yet very powerful principles of staying healthy is'one day at a time! instead of making any long-term plans for staying sober, which might seem over-whelming and extremely difficult, just plan for that very day and decide to be clean without the substance.

Addiction: Signs and Symptoms

Bipolar disorder:

Also known as manic-depressive disorder, bipolar disorder is the sudden change in mood, which might take a swing from depression to mania. It is a very severe disorder and can bring about unstable and precarious behavior. The risk of having suicidal tendencies is also quite high. Bipolar disorder is usually treated with medicines alongside therapy.

Symptoms:

1. Bipolar mania
2. Hypomania
3. Depression
4. Mood swings

The mood swings do not follow any particular pattern.

Schizophrenia Disorder

Schizophrenia is a chronic mental disorder which affects the general behavior and lifestyle of a person. Schizophrenics might face a difficulty in distinguishing between the real and the imaginary.
Contrary to public belief, schizophrenia is neither split personality nor multiple personalities. It is not an after effect of any previous traumatic experience. It might be genetic or a result of chemical imbalance in the brain chemicals.

Symptoms:

1. Paranoia
2. Senseless talking
3. Feeling apathetic
4. Insomnia
5. Personality change
6. Hallucinations
7. Delusions
8. Withdrawal from society
9. Attention deficit disorder or add

No specific medicine is available for schizophrenia. Usually, rehabilitation is advised to regain confidence and recover skills required for a productive life.

Psychosis

Similar to schizophrenia, psychosis is another mental disorder which is characterized by hallucinations and delusions. Psychosis is extremely dangerous and harmful as it might spur you to cause self-inflicted wounds and pain. It is of utmost importance to consult a doctor immediately after experiencing psychotic symptoms.

Symptoms:

1. Hallucinations
2. Delusions
3. Depression
4. Anxiety
5. Suspicion
6. Insomnia or hypersomnia
7. Withdrawal from society
8. Attention deficit disorder or add
9. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or ADHD

The only available diagnosis for psychosis is a psychiatric evaluation. Certain medical tests and x-rays may also be executed along with it to detect the underlying cause. Psychosis may be caused due to Parkinson's disease, Huntington's disease, brain tumors, Alzheimer's disease, epilepsy, etc.

Although there aren't any medical complications in psychosis, it should not be left untreated due to its harmful effects. Medication and therapy are the known cures of psychosis.

Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia Disorder and Psychosis

What is schizophrenia?
We all know it as a debilitating mental illness that plagues people across the globe. Schizophrenic patients often feel like they are being overtaken by situations and events that are beyond their control. They may complain of seeing people who are not there or hearing voices where there are none. This happens because the neurotransmitters in the brain of the patient do not function appropriately. There are various types, causes and symptoms of this disease. Read up to know more.

Symptoms: psychotic symptoms like delusion are common in patients suffering from this disease. Also, the patient may be severely blunted in the emotional sense, and may bear a lost look and wear a feeling of loss or absence at all times. The thought process or cognition of the patient may also suffer in such cases. Poor concentration and lack of coordination are some symptoms of this kind of suffering. Hallucinations and distorted thought processes also characterise the patient to a great extent. The patient may also display certain typical symptoms like social withdrawal, extreme apathy, and lack of motivation. The patient will also be in an emotionally numb state once the delusions have lessened.

Causes: so what causes schizophrenia, really? while no tests or conclusive examinations exist to pin point the exact diagnosis or cause of the disease, there are many factors that can contribute to the development and progression of the same. Hereditary factors play up in many cases while chemical imbalances in the brain also lead to this condition. The serotonin levels and the functioning of the neurotransmitters are the most significant causes of this disease, in such cases. Excessive abuse of drugs like lsd and cannabis can also contribute to this condition, while family relations and a dysfunctional environment can also lead to this disease.

Types: there are many different kinds of schizophrenia. One of them is paranoid schizophrenia, which makes the patient highly suspicious. Disorganised schizophrenia can lead to incoherence in speech and thought. Catatonic schizophrenia can cause social withdrawal while residual schizophrenia can lead to a complete lack of motivation. Finally, schizoaffective disorder can lead to major mood swings.

The various kinds of schizophrenia are characterised by varying degrees of mood swings, depression, paranoia and delusional thinking. The progression of the disease can be checked with the help of cognitive behavioural therapy, which can help in reprogramming the brain of the patient to a great degree. Rehabilitation programs as well as case management can help in the long run. But the key here is to recognise the symptoms early on and get the treatment or counselling started to reduce the symptoms and their spread.

Schizophrenia: Types, Causes and Symptoms

Neurological disorders are an enigmatic bunch. There are various ongoing researches to identify the exact cause and how to treat them. While some argue that schizophrenia is a chronic brain disorder, others do not agree with it and debate that the origin is yet to be identified and the factors which produce it are yet to be identified.

Factors supporting it to be a brain disease are listed below.

Scan images (MRI and PET scans) of people who have had schizophrenia are different and have a reduced volume of grey matter, especially in the frontal and temporal lobes. In some people, this loss could be as high as 25%. Serial images have shown that the loss begins in the outer (parietal) region and gradually spreads to the rest of the brain. There is a strong correlation between the extent of this grey matter loss and the severity of the symptoms more the loss, worse the symptoms. Severe symptoms include hearing voices, psychotic thoughts, delusions, hallucinations and severe depression. This grey matter reduction does not depend on whether the person has undergone treatment or not for the condition. 

The counter argument is that grey matter loss is not seen in patients with schizophrenia alone. A number of neurological disorders, including normal ageing, manifest as grey matter loss on the scan images. Also, another consoling news is that this grey matter loss is completely reversible.

The way neurotransmitters respond to stimuli in people with schizophrenia is also slightly different. There are two variations to this debate: that schizophrenia is caused by excessive amounts of dopamine or increased sensitivity to dopamine. There are two proofs for this hypothesis first, dopamine suppressants are useful as antipsychotic drugs and secondly drugs which produce the same effect as dopamine can cause hallucinations similar to those seen in schizophrenics. There could be other neurotransmitters involved too, but the dopamine connection is more strongly established.

The electrical activity of the brain as seen in EEG is very different and abnormal in schizophrenic people. This reduced brain activity is another indication of the fact that schizophrenia is another brain disorder. There is also a strong genetic component to schizophrenia. Family history correlation is also very strong. The correlation extends to the point that where there is a neurologic disorder in the first-degree relatives, the chances of developing schizophrenia is increased.

There are specific genes, mutations of which are also attributed to schizophrenia. While the risk factors are in place (as mentioned above), the environmental conditions (brain infections, head trauma, family/social stressors and toxins can all lead to the manifestation of the symptoms. With medications and support therapy, both prevention and symptom management are possible.

Schizophrenia - Is It Really a Brain Disease?

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