
7 CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTIONALLY STRONG PEOPLE

Emotionally strong people are better able to manage the stresses and distresses of daily life, and recover more quickly from challenges and crises when they arise. Is your emotional engine strong enough to take you through the ups and downs of life? Are you riding a bullock cart which can topple over anytime you pass through a broken road or are you driving a four wheel, all terrain vehicle, which will ensure you a safe trip through all the rocky terrains of your life?

A common cultural belief is that people who don’t cry and are unemotional, detached are the emotionally strong ones...and the ones who cry easily and exhibit emotional turmoil are the weaker ones. Well, this is just a myth and not an accurate indicator of one’s mental and emotional strength. A person’s internal coping mechanism will determine how strong he/she is emotionally and deal with challenges and bounce back from them. For eg. Two investors invest in a startup company and watch it fail after 5 years of hard work...one cries copious tears and falls apart, the other controls his emotions but feels defeated. Both were not emotionally strong as they couldn’t sustain the pressure and crumbled. It would have been fine if they felt sad and worried over the loss of time, resources and money and then bounced back with fresh ideas and renewed energy, which would have shown their capability to bounce back from difficult situations.

Unfortunately, too many of us judge ourselves incorrectly in exactly such moments. If we react emotionally or tearfully to emotionally challenging situations we scold ourselves for being weak, even when we have every intention of persisting and moving forward and even when we believe we will eventually succeed. Tears are usually a sign of frustration and disappointment, not defeat. What you believe about your future chances of success and how discouraged you feel in the long term is far more important than how often you cry in response to stresses and bad news.

The following list will help you decide how emotionally strong you are and where you need to work on yourself:

1) Emotionally strong people are less discouraged by setbacks and disappointments: they see each failure as an opportunity to learn and improvise over the last one. They compare themselves with themselves and define their own measures for failure and success. You could do an analysis of your strengths, limitations, opportunities and impediments in order to get over difficult situations. Geet, a student who didn’t get into his desired subject of IT, sat through 5 years of Law and did some extra courses in corporate law and worked towards fulfilling his dream of working in the Corporate. He felt confident, happy and satisfied with his efforts.

2) Emotionally strong people are more adaptable to change: they welcome and embrace changes in themselves and their environment simply because it brings newer opportunities and learning which can catapult them on their way to success. New boss, different stage of life, children going away are changes that will surely happen. Preparing for them in advance, can help people cope better with changes. When Surabhi got married, she took marital counselling to prepare for the differences that will crop up due to changes in the environment, thinking and attitudes of her inlaws family. She is a happy and successful wife and mother today.

3) Emotionally strong people are able to recognize and express their needs: ability to acknowledge and express your needs is being genuine to yourself and an expression of self care. People who are self aware move faster on the ladder of success as they are devoted and passionate towards their goals and needs. Taking care of your health and exercising along with a professional career makes for an emotionally strong person. You can become aware of your needs and values in counselling and experience contentment and power as you take charge of your life.

4) Emotionally strong people focus on getting around a hurdle rather than on the hurdle itself: focussing on the hurdle can be very emotionally draining and demotivating. Emotionally strong people invest their energies in working through a problem and looking for viable solutions, which ensures their victory over stresses and strains. If you have lost money in business, then working on your sales and marketing skills could get you better gains rather than feeling defeated. Counselling can help you look at problems objectively and from different perspectives. Get in touch with your problem solving skills and feel motivated and accomplished again.

5) Emotionally strong people can learn from mistakes and criticism: who hasn’t been subjected to criticism or made some mistakes? It’s human to err. Working towards excellence rather than perfection and looking for the golden piece of advice in the strong criticism helps emotionally strong people win over situations and important relationships. Sarita, an intelligent and smart woman ignored the critical remarks of her mother in law because she knew that there is a lot to learn from her. She knew which battles to fight and which ones to let go of.

6) Emotionally strong people tend to see the larger perspective in a challenging situation: They don’t get weighed down by smaller defeats when they have the larger picture in mind. An emotionally strong employee, Martin, who experienced office politics, kept his cool and focussed on his work.

7) Emotionally strong people are able to recover more quickly from emotional wounds such as failure or rejection: nobody can reject you unless you give them the permission. Seeing each failure as an opportunity to grow and learn helps. Staying with what you can do differently next time and having fall back plans helps to reduce the impact of failure. Thomas Edison didn’t get deterred by the number of times he could make his bulb glow. He kept looking at different permutations and combinations and kept learning from each mistake. Finally, his bulb glowed and now we all can benefit from the fruits of his hard labour.

If you don’t find yourself scoring high on this list, then there is no need to worry because in personal counselling, you can build emotional strength and capacity to bounce back by working on your mindset and learning more adaptable responses to stresses of daily living.

7 characteristics of emotionally strong people

Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

The number of people affected by hypertension is constantly on the rise. The most important concern with people developing hypertension is that it is not an isolated issue. It brings with it a host of problems, including higher chances of stroke, heart disease, diabetes, and kidney diseases. While there is no definite cure for hypertension, it is definitely possible to control it using the following measures.

Weight control: Greater the body mass index (BMI), higher is the chances of developing hypertension. Check with your doctor to know what the ideal weight is and try to maintain it. If overweight, losing even 10 pounds can make a big difference to your blood pressure.
Diet management: Excessive salt, calories, fat, and sugar are to be avoided. Sodium is one of the main culprits for increasing blood pressure and should be avoided. Include fruits and vegetables that are rich in potassium and magnesium. Reducing salt is another major way to control blood pressure. Fish oils with omega-3 fatty acids are extremely good for the health of the heart and so consult your doctor to include the right amounts in your diet. 
Exercise: A regular workout regimen can reduce the chances of developing blood pressure by up to 40% to 50%. This should not be misinterpreted as the need for vigorous workouts. Even small, regular physical activity daily goes a long way in controlling blood pressure.
Alcohol: While quitting alcohol is the best thing to do, for those finding it difficult to do so, cutting down on it plays a big role in controlling blood pressure. No more than a drink per day for women, and no more than two per day for men are recommended.
Stress management: Stress is one of the major causes for increasing blood pressure, and so managing stress is very important. Whether music or meditation, pick your stress buster and see your blood pressure lowered.
Medications: If you are already on a medication regimen, strictly adhere to the schedule. Consult your doctor before adding herbal supplements or dietary supplements. Taken individually, they may be good for health, but there are good chances of them interacting with your regular medications.
Monitor: Once you have been diagnosed with high blood pressure, have periodic check-ups with your doctor to ensure it is within the permissible limits. If beyond limits, immediately correct it.
As noted, hypertension is not an isolated issue and brings with it a whole lot of issues. Controlling it can help control the other issues that would follow and improve the quality of life.


Hypertension: 7 Best Ways to Control it

Depression is often equated with isolation and brooding but this is not always the case. Many people may actually suffer from depression without showing the typical symptoms of this condition. Hence, this form of depression may go unnoticed for many years. Such cases are known as high-functioning depression. Some of the symptoms of this condition include:

Having difficulty expressing happiness: Though a person may be able to work normally, a person suffering from high-functioning depression will find it difficult to express emotions such as happiness. Thus he or she may not know how to act in the event of a promotion at work, the beginning of a new relationship or any other such happy events. In such cases, the happiness a person experiences from these events is temporary and muted.
Lowered energy levels: Unlike not being able to get out of bed when suffering from typical forms of depression, a person suffering from high-functioning depression can follow his or her usual routine. However, they often find themselves lacking the energy they would normally have and feel the need to put extra effort into their normal tasks. This reduces the amount of satisfaction derived from completing tasks.
Persistent self-doubt: While being self-critical is good to a certain extent, a person suffering from this form of depression is rarely satisfied with their work. Even when recognised by their peers or given an award for their work, they feel that this praise is misguided and have trouble accepting it. Thus, suffering from this condition is akin to swimming a race against the current and with additional unnecessary weights.
Substance abuse: Since this form of depression can go undiagnosed for many years, patients often turn to alcohol and other addictive substances in frustration. This can further delay diagnosis as many of the symptoms of this condition can also be attributed to substance abuse.
Feeling like a failure: Many people suffering from this condition feel as though they are constantly wasting time no matter how much they achieve in a day. This can make them feel hopeless and cause frequent changes in jobs.
The good news is that depression can be cured. Hence if someone around you or you, yourself experience such symptoms, talk to a doctor. Alternatively, you could make a few changes in your lifestyle to lift your mood. Try meditating in the morning or fit in some light exercise into your day. You could even take up a new hobby. However, this cannot replace cognitive therapy and psychological counselling.

High Functioning Depression & Anxiety!

Depression is one of the complex physical and psychological disorders. The disease is characterized by loss of pleasure or interest, sadness, feelings of guilt, low self worth, disturbed sleep and appetite, poor concentration and feelings of tiredness. The common effect of this condition is leads to the decreased activity level in some parts of the brain. The disease is a mild one that causes little annoyance in daily life. But the extreme stages may lead to severe effects where the affected person may fail to participate in their social life. In rare cases severity of suicide is even possible.

Depression is diagnosed by these symptoms:

    Lack of interest or joy in activities
    Sadness or low mood levels
    Feel of guilt without any reason
    Pessimism
    Inferiority thoughts
    Slow thought process
    Irritability
    Slow in interpreting sensorial stimuli
    Slow physical reactions
    Slow physical processes or digestion.

Types of depression
It can be either be a single disease or the effect of other diseases. It can also be due to two or more factors. Based on the cause the disease, it has been divided into six types, which are

    Reactive depression: Caused due to psychological struggle and stress.
    Endogenous depression: Caused due to strain or lack of rest.
    Depression by physical disease: This is caused due to any physical disease such as Parkinson s disease, stroke, hypertension, heart disease, cushing s syndrome, mononucleosis, hypothyroidism neurotransmitters in the brain etc.
    Depressive consequence of unsound lifestyle: This is caused due to less exercise, too much alcohol, coffee or tea consumption, least intake of necessary nutrients, too much sugar intake and fat.
    Postnatal depression: This happens mostly in women after pregnancy and child birth.
    Seasonal affective disorder: This happen due to cold and dark seasons of the year. The lack of light is the factor for causing depression as well. 

Treatment of depression
Best way to treat depression is through Psychotherapy, also anti - depression medicines are usually prescribed to treat the effects of depression. But the intake of these types of medicines result in nervous disorder. However, the best way to treat is through environmental changes and positive and happy surrounds to the affected person along with psychological counseling.

6 Types of Depression! + How it Affects Us?

Depression: Why is this Silent Killer Taking Our Youth Away?

Recently most of us were shaken by the death of the well-known television actress, Pratyusha Banerjee. Her sudden death has brought to light the very common yet under-addressed problem - Depression -  that a number of youths are living with.

Most mental and emotional health issues are inconspicuous in nature and, therefore, cause more harm than they otherwise should, most people still live with a number of symptoms of depression without even realizing it or do little to address it. When the depressive symptoms last for more than 2 weeks and affect the individual's personal, social or occupational life, it is known as clinical depression or major depression. There is often a delay in opting for the treatment because of the social taboo associated with depression.

Although cases of depression can vary from an individual to the other, there are signs that one can look out for, to identify a depressed person:

- Low mood most of the time of day along with frequent crying spells

- Feeling of unworthiness and low self-respect are very common in a depressed person. Due to these feelings, the affected person may become very critical and disapproving about himself or herself.

- Lack of enjoyment and loss of interest in a depressed person makes them no longer derive pleasure from things that once gave him or her happiness.

- Exhaustion and insomnia are signs that one should look out for in a depressed individual. These are usually due to changes in sleep patterns, from sleeping a lot because of feelings of constant fatigue or due to instances of wakefulness.

- From indulging in comfort eating to losing the will to eat, predominantly loss of appetite characterizes a depressed person.

- Difficulty in recalling details and tendency to over generalize as also problem-solving issues can point to the presence of depression

- Unexplained bodily pains and aches are another characteristics of the condition.  

What are the different types of depression?

Regarding the different forms of this mental health issue, it comes in several forms along with their distinct symptoms, effects, and causes. These are:

- Major depression

- Dysthymia

- Recurrent depressive disorder

- Seasonal affective disorder

- Bipolar disorder

How can it affect your life?

More than 90% people who commit suicide suffer from some form of psychiatric illness and depression is the most common reason. The despair that usually accompanies depression makes the thought of taking one's life as the only means available to escape the pain. In addition to suicidal thoughts, it can also affect one's functioning in day to day life if help is not sought in time.

Depression is as curable as any other illness. Both medical management and psychotherapy are helpful in treatment. Type of treatment depends on patient's condition, the severity of illness as well as availability.



Depression: Why is this SILENT KILLER taking our YOUTH away?

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