HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

Depression is recognized as a mood disorder characterized by the prolonged feeling of sadness and loss of interest in otherwise regular activities. The symptoms include loss of sleep and appetite, loss of interest, persistent feeling of sadness and lowered self-esteem. These symptoms should last for a minimum of 4 weeks for the individual to be diagnosed with depression. Sometimes, at its later stages, depression can also be accompanied by suicidal tendencies.

How it can be treated?

Role of anti-depressants: Depression has become rather common in the present day scenario. The treatment varies from prescription drugs to therapy. People who have depression are usually given mood enhancers and anti-depressants. Antidepressants are medicines used to help people who have depression. With the help of these depression medications, most people can achieve significant recovery from depression. Most antidepressants are believed to work by slowing the removal of certain chemicals from the brain. These chemicals are called neurotransmitters (such as serotonin and norepinephrine). Neurotransmitters are needed for normal brain function and are involved in the control of mood and in other responses and functions, such as eating, sleep, pain, and thinking. Antidepressants help people with depression by making these natural chemicals more available to the brain. By restoring the brain s chemical balance, antidepressants help relieve the symptoms of depression. Specifically, antidepressant drugs help reduce the extreme sadness, hopelessness, and lack of interest in life that are typical in people with depression. However, these are but short-term solutions to depression and don t necessarily cure the individual completely. For the treatment to be effective, the drug intake must be combined with therapeutic techniques to solve the problem at the root level.
Therapy: Different therapeutic techniques are used to treat depression depending majorly on the individual, the cause of depression and general history and state of mind. Research suggests that client centered therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy are a good start with an average case of depression. The therapists usually incorporate several other methods based on the client s need to get maximum effect. Adlerian techniques, where individuals are made to comprehend the thoughts and emotions which influence their lifestyles and adopt a more productive and positive way of life, are rather helpful with most clients who suffer from depression.
Note
Depression is a fairly common mental health disorder today, affecting a large population. Depression must be acknowledged as a proper mood disorder and not just a passing phase. It is completely curable with proper medicine and therapeutic sessions. The individual is able to move over the feelings of unhappiness and lack of interest with proper care and acceptance from loved ones in addition to therapy and the drugs, of course.

Depression - Is it Curable?

Is depression eating you up from within? are you facing severe emotional meltdown? emotional disturbances can ruin your life and this is why you have to look for the best preventive ways. You can have a consultation with any counsellor so that you can share your problems. Your counsellor will definitely help you to get some potential way out. 

Best ways for preventing emotional meltdown:

 Detecting the signs: the actual signs of emotional meltdown need to be detected and then only you can get rid of the same. Both your facial expressions and behavioural changes are to be observed carefully as these will help you to detect the signs. If you are remaining silent for most of the times, then there is something going on in your mind for sure. 
 Early intervention: you should rely on your intuition or sixth sense so that you can sense the troubles you are going to face. You should have a good observation power so that you can sense things easily. Remain quiet and calm so that you can take the right decisions. 
 Living well: you need to choose a completely healthy way of living, otherwise you will never get freedom from emotional troubles. Do not think much about past incidents, rather you should look forward so that you can go ahead. You should develop only positive mentality in order to discharge your duties in a perfect manner. Remain happy and keep everybody happy and then only you will be able to get the actual essence of life. Healthy eating and good habits are also needed so that your life can become more lively and refreshing. 
 Have proper communication: if you think that your friends or family members are pretty reliable, then you can openly communicate with them. This would help you to get mental relief and relaxation. If you open up your emotions and share them with anybody, then you will feel relaxed and your mind will be calm at all times. 
 Have counselling: it is not always possible to share all your secrets with your loved ones and this is the reason you have to look for the most reliable option. You can go for thorough counselling, and this can help you to get rid of depressing thoughts and other mental troubles. In this case, you have to look for the best counsellor in your locality so that you can disclose all your hidden secrets.

How to Prevent an Emotional Meltdown?

Top 4 Ways You Can Increase Your Willpower

There are days when you wake up but you don’t want to move out of the bed. When your alarm goes off and you open your eyes feeling groggy and disoriented.Times when you accept defeat and stop moving towards what you want to achieve in life. These are just indicators of being low on motivation and lacking will power to chnage things. It’s more psychological than physical. Follow these simple tips, to come out of your cocoon and boost your willpower. 

Try these four ways to up your willpower.

1) Meditate - Meditation is the key to unleashing your powers, especially willpower. Practicing mindfulness, even for few minutes a day can help in boosting your willpower.

2) Exercise - The magic pill of exercise is another best way to boost your willpower. It is recommended that you exercise for 30 minutes, at least three times a week to ensure that you feel fitter, reduce your anxiety levels and boost your overall willpower to achieve bigger and better things in life.

3) Hold yourself accountable - That’s one of the best ways to boost your willpower. If you hold yourself accountable in your own life, if you know that those reasons of not getting out of the bed are mere excuses, then you would certainly increase your willpower.

4) Set Goals - One of the reasons why people experience a faltering in their will power is the fact that they don’t set their goals. Setting definitive targets is a must.You must ensure that the goal is set with measurable quantities, is specific, attainable, relevant and timely. All of this will certainly help you in enhancing your willpower.

If you have any further questions, ask me by clicking on 'consult'.

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Top 4 Ways You Can Increase Your Willpower

Depression can be caused because of many reasons. However, it can get worse or be triggered due to nutritional deficiency. However nutritional deficiencies and depression act in a vicious cycle. Depressed people often receive less or improper food which leads to malnutrition which again aggravate depression. Thus, both conditions should be treated simultaneously. Read further to know how:

Omega-3 fatty acids: An Omega-3 unsaturated fat deficiency can cause depression. That shows exactly how much fish, salmon, halibut or flaxseeds and walnuts we have to expend to be at an ideal level. These basic minerals lessen aggravation and take up a basic part in our mental health, particularly memory and disposition.
Vitamin D: Vitamin D deficiency is a noteworthy problem that specialists and general physicians perceive to be dangerous. This lack has been connected to depression, dementia and mental imbalance. The majority of our Vitamin D levels drop off during the fall and winter months, since daylight is the best source of vitamin D.
Magnesium: Odds are great that you are magnesium inadequate since a lot of people are. Sugar, phosphoric acid, perpetual anxiety, anti-infection agents and diuretics contain magnesium. Magnesium is infrequently alluded to as the anxiety counteracting agent.
Vitamin B complex: B vitamins like vitamin B6 and vitamin B12 have some great medical advantages, including decreased heart diseases and healthy skin and nails. Again, a vitamin B deficiency may affect your emotional wellness. Every one in four depressed or stressed woman suffers from vitamin B12 deficiency.
Folate: Individuals with a low folate level have just a seven percent reaction to treatment with antidepressants. Those with high folate levels have a reaction of 44 percent. That is the reason a lot of specialists are currently endorsing a folate called Deplin to treat dejection.
Amino acids: Amino acids are the building blocks of protein that help your mind work efficiently. An amino acid deficiency may make you feel slow, foggy, unfocused, and discouraged. Great sources of amino acids include meat, eggs, beans, seeds, and nuts.
Iron: Iron deficiency is truly common in women. Around 20 percent of the women and 50 percent of pregnant women are iron deficient. Just 3 percent of men are iron deficient. The most widely recognized type of side effect is the decreasing number of red platelets brought on by the lack of iron. The side effects include weakness, concentration issues and a foggy mind.
Zinc: Zinc is used by more proteins (a person has more than 300) than some other minerals. It is important to most of the body s systems. It also helps our stomach to determine what food items or nutrients to keep and what to dispose off.
Therefore, it is very important for a person to consume the right amount of nutrients that a human needs. Their deficiency not only causes depression, but also many other diseases and illnesses.

Nutritional Deficiency - Can it Cause Depression?

The risk of developing depression is found by the means of various researches to be two to three times higher in individuals suffering from a chronic disease than in normal individuals. Type 1 and type 2 Diabetes are chronic diseases that can prove to be very challenging to manage due to various setbacks and complications that can come in the way. Regular monitoring of the blood sugar levels is essential in managing the blood sugar. Navigation of the health care facilities, side effects caused by medications, and other related health conditions or even diabetic complications can cause an increased risk of developing depression. If left undiagnosed and untreated, depression can give way to a poor lifestyle choice that can further deteriorate the physical health of a person. 

Various risk factors that are associated with diabetes and depression are as follows- 

lack of physical activity
poor social environment
poverty
stress during pregnancy
Depression in diabetes can occur simultaneously due to a variety of factors. These include the psychological and psychosocial impact of the disease on an individual, a potential common genetic susceptibility and certain common pathophysiological abnormalities that involve neuro-immunological and neuro-endocrinal pathways, as well as microvascular brain lesions due to diabetes mellitus. However, issues concerning pathogenesis and causality of this high co-occurrence are not fully determined yet. Still, the presence of depression in patients with diabetes mellitus is of vast importance, as it is usually associated with poor disease control, adverse health outcomes and quality of life impairment.

When an individual is suffering from diabetes, the awareness of risks of developing depression is essential. It has been widely researched and found that these two conditions can occur simultaneously, where depression is usually undiagnosed. Diabetes, specifically type 2, and depression affect each other in a bi-directional manner, which means that each of the disease can prove as a risk factor for the other. In a state of depression, it is common for a person to consume high calorie foods and also to lead a sedentary lifestyle. This tendency can prove to be a risk factor for developing type 2 diabetes. 

If an individual already has type 2 diabetes, the stress experienced during the management of disease can cause depression. Type 1 diabetes develops as result of the defect of pancreas in production of insulin. 

People with type 1 diabetes can also develop depressive symptoms due to difficulties in the management of the disease. If the symptoms of depression develop in the patient already suffering from diabetes, management of diabetes also becomes difficult. This can lead to cause various diabetes related complications and also decrease the life expectancy. 

Various signs that can be observed in a state of depression are as follows: 

Complete lack of interest in doing any activity
Irritation or mood swings
Depressed mood
Disturbed sleep pattern
Changes in the appetite
Constant feeling of despair
Guilt Fatigue, weakness
Difficulty in concentration, transient memory loss
Suicidal tendency
There is a certain risk observed between the consumption of antidepressant medicines and development of diabetes. It has been researched and concluded that consuming antidepressants should always be on physician recommendation, with a prior advice on the risks of developing diabetes. It has also been found that the people with type 2 diabetes, who are using insulin regularly, are at higher risk for developing depression as compared to the people on non-insulin medications or following only diet or lifestyle modification habits. An additional stress experienced in managing diabetes and accessing the health care services can cause such complication in insulin users. 

Common treatment protocol for depression includes psychotherapy or the cognitive behavioral therapy. It helps people to correct destructive thought patterns and behaviors that tend to increase the depressive symptoms. Other interventions like a structured problem solving approach, motivational interviewing, and interpersonal approach towards the patient is also effective in management. Certain medications can also help in mood-lifting and the management of symptoms of depression.

In diabetics, the treatment options that are available in addition to the standard medical healthcare provision includes self-management training sessions that help the people to increase healthy habits and improve control on their blood sugar levels. Diabetes as well as depression can improve with complete focus on lifestyle changes, like proper diet management and exercising regularly.

How Diabetes Can Lead To Depression?

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