Procrastination is a way of sabotaging oneself by putting off activities and delaying success. This is an emotional and mental obstacle that many people face in varying degrees. So here is everything you need to know about procrastination.

It becomes a lifestyle: As per medical research, about 20% of the people who procrastinate, have been doing it on a chronic basis and can now safely say that this is a lifestyle and not just a habit that one has fallen prey to.
It is cultivated: Contrary to popular belief, procrastination is not something that anyone is born with. It is cultivated with constant inaction over a period of years, which also includes the act of making excuses to put off a task.
Excessive alcohol consumption: In many cases, procrastinators will end up enjoying higher consumption of alcohol than their contemporaries. This may be done to alleviate boredom before the excessive consumption becomes a habit, which further dulls the senses.
Hiding from the truth: It has been seen that procrastinators often lie to themselves or hide the truth about their problem by making mindless excuses, which do not actually exist. They are chronic liars who come to believe their lies, which can give rise to even more severe behavioural issues.
Distractions: Most people who procrastinate will look for distractions that will keep them from doing their work properly. This may include watching television or eating, or even doing mindless chores that are not important.
Focus: Many of these procrastinators have problems when it comes to focusing and finding solutions for various tasks. They cannot prioritise and put their mind to a certain task, which also prevents them from understanding the requirements for completing that task.
Avoiders: These types of procrastinators usually avoid doing the tasks that will lead them to success. They do not make the effort to carry out the necessary tasks in a proper manner.
Decisional procrastinators: These kind of procrastinators simply cannot find the motivation to take a decision that will change the direction of their lives by putting one step in front of the other on a daily basis.
Cost of procrastination: There is a huge cost that is borne by these kinds of people in the long run. While missing deadlines, losing jobs and not graduating from college are just some of the consequences, many of them also come down with a plethora of health conditions including gastrointestinal diseases.
Therapy for procrastination: The best way to transform a procrastinator is with the help of cognitive behavioural therapy, which can help in reprogramming the brain with fruitful, guided discussions and internal dialogues. This kind of therapy works well in the long run.

10 Things You Must Know About Procrastination

Depression is often equated with isolation and brooding but this is not always the case. Many people may actually suffer from depression without showing the typical symptoms of this condition. Hence, this form of depression may go unnoticed for many years. Such cases are known as high-functioning depression. Some of the symptoms of this condition include:

Having difficulty expressing happiness: Though a person may be able to work normally, a person suffering from high-functioning depression will find it difficult to express emotions such as happiness. Thus he or she may not know how to act in the event of a promotion at work, the beginning of a new relationship or any other such happy events. In such cases, the happiness a person experiences from these events is temporary and muted.
Lowered energy levels: Unlike not being able to get out of bed when suffering from typical forms of depression, a person suffering from high-functioning depression can follow his or her usual routine. However, they often find themselves lacking the energy they would normally have and feel the need to put extra effort into their normal tasks. This reduces the amount of satisfaction derived from completing tasks.
Persistent self-doubt: While being self-critical is good to a certain extent, a person suffering from this form of depression is rarely satisfied with their work. Even when recognised by their peers or given an award for their work, they feel that this praise is misguided and have trouble accepting it. Thus, suffering from this condition is akin to swimming a race against the current and with additional unnecessary weights.
Substance abuse: Since this form of depression can go undiagnosed for many years, patients often turn to alcohol and other addictive substances in frustration. This can further delay diagnosis as many of the symptoms of this condition can also be attributed to substance abuse.
Feeling like a failure: Many people suffering from this condition feel as though they are constantly wasting time no matter how much they achieve in a day. This can make them feel hopeless and cause frequent changes in jobs.
The good news is that depression can be cured. Hence if someone around you or you, yourself experience such symptoms, talk to a doctor. Alternatively, you could make a few changes in your lifestyle to lift your mood. Try meditating in the morning or fit in some light exercise into your day. You could even take up a new hobby. However, this cannot replace cognitive therapy and psychological counselling.

High Functioning Depression & Anxiety!

For human beings, the body is considered the temple, one that they strive to keep fit and in shape. In fact, the plethora of ailments, which people complain of suffering from, almost always deal with their physical health. In this over engagement to restore the physical health, the well being of the mental health is never considered. However truth remains that the health of the mind is equally if not more important and must be given its share of priority. With the growing age and times, depression has emerged as a gnawing problem, one that is plaguing individuals indiscriminately and one that must be eradicated as soon as possible. 
Some of the ways to combat this fatal ailment are: 

1. Exercises 
Everyday a bit of exercise not only keeps the body fit and healthy, but also goes a long way in easing and calming the mind. You need not indulge in strenuous exercises, but must make it a conscientious habit to work out a bit daily.

2. Talk to people
Though depression makes one inexorably quiet and silent, the first thing that is prescribed as a remedial measure is talk to people. Engaging in conversations with people, telling them what exactly is troubling you are proven ways to combat depression.

3. Meditate 
There is no better way to treat mental ailment than meditating.  When you suffer from depression, your body undergoes severe conflict. Meditating not only calms the mind, but also soothes away the worries.

4. Develop a support system
Depression is almost always followed by an unfathomable sense of loneliness. Talking to others does help, but at the same time try to develop a support system. Find an individual, be it parents, relatives or friends and confide in him or her. Not sharing what you are going through is never a solution and only exacerbates the fatality of the situation.

5. Change the daily routine
Monotony is never exciting and it is only time, before the humdrum of life gets to you. Changing the daily routine and incorporating something new and exciting go a long way in recuperating you from the mental dullness and fatigue.

Tips to Combat Depression

HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

Alternating between being happy and sad as you go through life's ups and downs is normal, but if you're sad most of the time, it could be a sign of being depressed.  Depression takes the joy out of all your activities, and can make merely getting through a day feel overwhelming. The first step to overcoming this problem is to understand its symptoms and causes.  Not everyone experiences depression the same way, but here are a few questions that can help tell you if you are depressed or not.

Do you feel helpless?
It is common for depressed people to feel helpless and that everything around them is out of their control. As a result, the person may either stop participating in activities all together or try to control things they can't. Both situations are cyclic and lead to further depression.

Have you lost interest in daily activities?
The feeling of helplessness is one of the main reasons depressed people lose interest in activities. Another reason is that activities that were once enjoyed now do not seem interesting enough. In most cases, this leads to the person isolating himself and withdrawing from all his family and friends.

Do you often feel angry or irritated?
Depression is almost always accompanied by irritability and anger. Small annoyances that would usually be overlooked quickly, take on an inappropriate significance. This can lead to poor impulse control, substance abuse and anxiety disorder. In most cases, anger and depression are related by the person trying to take accountability for things that are out of his control and hence feeling helpless.

Is there a change in your sleep pattern?
Your sleep quality is very closely related to the way you feel. Depressed people often suffer either from insomnia or oversleeping. Depressed people can have trouble going to sleep as well as staying asleep. This can cause drowsiness and lethargy during the day. Sleep apnea is also linked with depression. As you can imagine, if this is left untreated, it will only worsen your depression.

Do you feel tired?
When the body does not get adequate sleep, you begin the day feeling tired. Thus, depressed people often feel fatigued and complain of a number of muscle and joint pains.  This is because the body has not had enough time to regenerate cells during the night. This is usually complemented by complains of persistent headache and stomach aches, both of which are emotionally connected to the way you feel.

The nature of depression is such that it lowers a person's self-esteem to the point of interfering with his ability to seek help. Hence, if you have a positive response to the above questions, it is time to address your problem before it worsens.

How To Recognize Depression In Adults

Depression is spreading at a fast pace in modern India due to many reasons like poor diet, lifestyles, poor social support system and having too many unrealistic expectations from themselves and other people in their lives. It can affect the rich and the poor and any age group also. According to World Health Organisation, 1 in every 10 people suffer from depression. Due to the social stigma attached to it, most people remain undiagnosed and hence suffer from it silently. This is a huge waste of human potential and capability. Some common symptoms of Depression include:

Appetite loss or an increased hunger,
Insomnia or Oversleeping,
Pervading feelings of worthlessness, helplessness and hopelessness,
Anger and Irritability,
Intense physical, emotional and mental fatigue,
Self hatred for making mistakes and not coming up to the expectations of self or other people
Risky Behaviour like rash driving, addictions, dangerous sports,
Problems in Concentration, Memorising and Focussing
Unexplained aches and pains, stomach-aches, Back pain or Headaches
Sudden loss of Interest in Daily Activities, Hobbies. Work
Suicidal Thoughts or Attempts

Here are some basic tips to beat the blues.

Recognising and Conquering Self Criticising Inner Voice:
You would have heard this harsh voice which often reprimands you for making mistakes, or doing something silly or taking any risks. Often this voice would have said, "Its always your fault"," You are capable of nothing"," You are always making mistakes", "Only bad things have happened in my life", " My life is Over". These are called self destructive negative thoughts which can interfere and distract you from your daily activities and a general sense of confidence, power, wellbeing and balance. Depressed people often associate themselves with a negative image of self and of the world, which is very incapacitating and makes the person feel guilty, angry, worthless, hopeless and helpless. The trick is to combat this inner thinking process with evidence to disprove it and support the evidence with logical and rational reasoning and seeing the whole picture with its positives rather than focussing on the negative parts only. For eg.."Good things have also happened in my marriage"," I can learn from my mistakes and do things differently next time"," I have achieved many things in life so I am capable and intelligent"," Life is not over yet, there is hope because I am still alive". such statements are compassionate and help in restoring lost confidence, faith and hope which is vital to beat depression blues.

Be Active:
During depression, physical energy takes a beating as a person goes through an emotionally low phase. People who don't exercise regularly are more prone to depression as the body and mind lacks in blood circulation and "feel good" neuro chemicals called Endorphins. When you are feeling down in the dumps, exercising, yoga, gym, cycling, aerobics, dance can help in elevating the heart rate and thus increasing the blood circulation and elevating the moods. Cycling to work, using the stairs, walking just a little bit as a  daily small goal can be beneficial as energy levels can be very low in depression. Getting the sun on the back bone which carries many nerves is also important and helps in chemical synthesis in combating depression.

Be Social:
Man is a social animal by evolutionary process. We tend to feel better in harmonious social communities for our social and psychological wellbeing. Identify people who are well meaning and supportive of your condition. Don't withdraw from the society, thought hat may be the easiest and logical thing to do in depression. Meeting people with similar interests as yours, people who value you for who you are and some people who are funny and can make you laugh will be of immense importance for boosting your self esteem and self worth. See if some one can benefit from your care..caring for others is a huge booster of self worth and self esteem. Having a pet and caring for it can be another activity that you can look into. Watching comedy shows, movies, laughing at your own mistakes or other people mistakes can be a wonderful way to look at life more objectively. Don't take yourself and other people too seriously..everyone makes mistakes and nobody is perfect.


By no means is this list complete. Please look around and find more tips that can help in beating the blues. If Depression is caught in its early stages then its completely curable. Please don't self diagnose and take medications. Get it diagnosed with a psychiatrist or a psychologist. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Stress management, Marital Counselling, Meditations and relaxation techniques, Spirituality are very powerful in dealing with depression too.

3 ways to combat depression

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