Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

Depression is recognized as a mood disorder characterized by the prolonged feeling of sadness and loss of interest in otherwise regular activities. The symptoms include loss of sleep and appetite, loss of interest, persistent feeling of sadness and lowered self-esteem. These symptoms should last for a minimum of 4 weeks for the individual to be diagnosed with depression. Sometimes, at its later stages, depression can also be accompanied by suicidal tendencies.

How it can be treated?

Role of anti-depressants: Depression has become rather common in the present day scenario. The treatment varies from prescription drugs to therapy. People who have depression are usually given mood enhancers and anti-depressants. Antidepressants are medicines used to help people who have depression. With the help of these depression medications, most people can achieve significant recovery from depression. Most antidepressants are believed to work by slowing the removal of certain chemicals from the brain. These chemicals are called neurotransmitters (such as serotonin and norepinephrine). Neurotransmitters are needed for normal brain function and are involved in the control of mood and in other responses and functions, such as eating, sleep, pain, and thinking. Antidepressants help people with depression by making these natural chemicals more available to the brain. By restoring the brain s chemical balance, antidepressants help relieve the symptoms of depression. Specifically, antidepressant drugs help reduce the extreme sadness, hopelessness, and lack of interest in life that are typical in people with depression. However, these are but short-term solutions to depression and don t necessarily cure the individual completely. For the treatment to be effective, the drug intake must be combined with therapeutic techniques to solve the problem at the root level.
Therapy: Different therapeutic techniques are used to treat depression depending majorly on the individual, the cause of depression and general history and state of mind. Research suggests that client centered therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy are a good start with an average case of depression. The therapists usually incorporate several other methods based on the client s need to get maximum effect. Adlerian techniques, where individuals are made to comprehend the thoughts and emotions which influence their lifestyles and adopt a more productive and positive way of life, are rather helpful with most clients who suffer from depression.
Note
Depression is a fairly common mental health disorder today, affecting a large population. Depression must be acknowledged as a proper mood disorder and not just a passing phase. It is completely curable with proper medicine and therapeutic sessions. The individual is able to move over the feelings of unhappiness and lack of interest with proper care and acceptance from loved ones in addition to therapy and the drugs, of course.

Depression - Is it Curable?

What is depression?

It is a state of mind when a person feels very low, loses interest in routine daily activities, feels hopeless and helpless. Many times the person starts thinking about suicide. It is a very dangerous state and needs immediate intervention from mental health professionals.

Assessment of depression:

Anyone feeling very sad cannot be called as a" depressed" person. To confirm the depression, the person needs to undergo assessment tests by either a psychologist or a psychiatrist. A" depression test" is carried out to see the exact intensity of depression.

Symptoms of depression:

Feeling very sad all the time, continuously for more than 15 days: feeling very sad continuously for a period of 15 days or more confirms depression. But just feeling sad sometimes is not depression.

 Crying for no specific reason: a depressed person may cry without any specific reason or provocation. The internal feeling of sadness is so intense, that the person cries without a good reason.
 Feeling worthless and hopeless: a depressed person has very low self esteem. The person thinks that he/she is useless, has no value and respect in the society. A depressed person feels hopeless. He/she thinks that'this is the end of the world' and things cannot improve. The person does not have any hopes about future and may start thinking about committing suicide or may attempt suicide.
 Loss of interest in life: the person loses interest in life. Does not feel like taking part in any activities which she/he were interested in doing earlier. There is nothing to look forward to, in their life.
 Ignoring personal hygiene: the person is so disinterested in life that she/he becomes careless about personal hygiene. They may not take bath for days together, may not even change their clothes or comb their hair or brush their teeth and are least bothered about the general cleanliness.
 Sleep disorders: the depressed person may sleep all the time or may not be able to sleep at all, which affects their overall health.
 Eating disorders: the person with depressive symptoms may stop eating or eat very little or in some cases eat a lot.
 Lack of sexual desire: the person may lose interest in sex and stop interacting with the sexual partner or start avoiding them.
 Feeling like a loser all the time, not wanting to fight back: the person has no self confidence and hence loses all the faith in his/her own abilities. Does not believe that he/she can face difficult situations and also can fight back.
 Becoming antisocial: the person avoids meeting other people and does not interact with people at home.

Causes of depression:

There are various factors, which may cause depression:

Family history: a person who has a family history of depression is more likely to have depression. If any of the parents or grandparents were diagnosed with depression then the person is more susceptible to depression.

Trauma: if a person has gone through a'life changing' experience, it can cause depression. Situations, such as a sudden death of a loved one or in case of witnessing devastating natural disasters like earthquake or tsunami or a war survivor, someone who has experienced terrorist attack or when someone has suffered sexual or physical abuse etc. May cause depression.

Health issues: if a person is having terminal illness, that can cause depression as the person has to endure lot of pain and has no hopes about recovery.

Relationship problems: if a person is dissatisfied with his/her close relationships like relation with the spouse, parents, siblings or offsprings, then the person may feel like a failure and feels worthless, unwanted or betrayed.

Financial issues: a person having any financial issue like not able to get a job or loss of job, incurring heavy losses in business or unable to earn enough money to satisfy the basic needs etc. Might get depressed.

Failures in life: failure to pass an examination, failure to achieve targets/goals, failure in love affair etc. May result in depression.

Treatment for depression:

Depression may fall in the category of mild, moderate and severe. But it is very important that the person gets assessed for the severity of depression.

Assessment by a psychiatrist/psychologist/counsellor: a person needs to be assessed by either a psychiatrist or a psychologist or a counsellor, to understand the intensity of depression. These mental health professionals may assess a person by talking to him/her and if required by applying certain'depression assessment' tests.

Medication and counselling: in case of moderate to severe depression, a psychiatrist will prescribe certain medication. Along with the medicines, counselling sessions work very well. In case of mild depression, only counselling also can be helpful.

Depression is treatable: if you come across someone with depressive symptoms, kindly advise them to seek help from a counsellor, psychologist or a psychiatrist.

Depression What You Need to Know About It

The Power Of Passion

Passion is the energy that can fuel a project, or a task. It gives you the energy to jump out of bed every morning or go to bed late after you have worked out the last block that was stopping your passion from flowing. It has a similar role to inspiration. When we engage in something we are passionate about, we feel free from external and internal blocks and in control. Time recedes into the background, and we feel empowered to engage in flow. 
Research has shown that passion has brought people back to life and start thriving again, making them more emotionally stable and a strong mental equilibrium. Abraham Maslow, a US psychologist said that without passion, nobody would reach their  self actualised  state.

Passion can make or break you. Passion can make you feel invigorated, committed, focussed, connected, courageous, creative, satisfied and productive. A man can be passionate about sports and take out time every week to indulge in his passion, while keeping his boss and family happy. 

On the other hand, it can also ruin your life by being obsessed and possessed by the fire of passion. A workaholic, who doesn t go back home till 2 am and reports to office again at 10 am, he who doesn t see his children nor relaxes or does any physical activity is ensuring a quick burnout in the guise of following a passion. A harmful passion can be diagnosed easily by gauging whether it controls you or you feel in control of your life, which is about harmonious passion.

WHY  YOU MUST NEVER GIVE UP YOUR PASSION

1. Helps you unwind and relax - Zafar liked to do puzzles, crosswords and Sudoku when he started his day. It freshened him up and his mind became sharper as he looked at various permutations and combinations for the words and numbers. Daily new neural pathways were getting stronger in his brain. This exercised his left brain adequately every day. He slept well. Do remember not to do such exercises before sleeping.   

2. Expands your life - Some hobbies like travelling, cooking, collecting trivia has its own benefits. This involves physical activity and meeting up with other people. This helps a person to remain connected with society and keep active. Ram liked travelling so much that he gave up his job to become a globe trotter and tied up with a TV channel to commentate on tourist locations. He earns handsomely from his hobby. His self esteem has doubled since then.

3. Keeps your mind productively channelized - Nandini s problem was that she didn t have anything to do while the kids were away at school. She had started feeling depressed and got headaches often. She knew that she connected well with the children in the neighbourhood and had a flair for painting. She started teaching them painting in the evenings. Soon she became very busy and had no time to get bored.  She not only made new friends, she also earned the respect and awe of her community. She feels energised, happy and motivated to work while looking forward to life.

4. Success at work - Often passion has been linked to success at work. It is seen that people who are passionate, committed and hardworking often excel in their work as they have a goal to achieve. They look forward to their day and any hurdles or failures don t deter them from trying again. Neela was always passionate about becoming an IT professional. She had grown up playing with computers. Despite her family not agreeing with her choice of profession, she went ahead and burnt the midnight oil to score high in school and college. She got picked up in campus placements and today she holds a coveted position in the company. She has motivated many girls from her conservative community to study and get work.

5. Keep away illness - Having a hobby or working passionately has its own share of health benefits. People have reported higher physical and emotional immunity. They had deep and strong bonding with their community. They didn t suffer from insomnia, depression, dementia and anxiety and hope was alive in them till the end. They knew that success and failure are two sides of the same coin. 




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5 Logical Reasons You Must Never Give Up On Your Passion

Alternating between being happy and sad as you go through life's ups and downs is normal, but if you're sad most of the time, it could be a sign of being depressed.  Depression takes the joy out of all your activities, and can make merely getting through a day feel overwhelming. The first step to overcoming this problem is to understand its symptoms and causes.  Not everyone experiences depression the same way, but here are a few questions that can help tell you if you are depressed or not.

Do you feel helpless?
It is common for depressed people to feel helpless and that everything around them is out of their control. As a result, the person may either stop participating in activities all together or try to control things they can't. Both situations are cyclic and lead to further depression.

Have you lost interest in daily activities?
The feeling of helplessness is one of the main reasons depressed people lose interest in activities. Another reason is that activities that were once enjoyed now do not seem interesting enough. In most cases, this leads to the person isolating himself and withdrawing from all his family and friends.

Do you often feel angry or irritated?
Depression is almost always accompanied by irritability and anger. Small annoyances that would usually be overlooked quickly, take on an inappropriate significance. This can lead to poor impulse control, substance abuse and anxiety disorder. In most cases, anger and depression are related by the person trying to take accountability for things that are out of his control and hence feeling helpless.

Is there a change in your sleep pattern?
Your sleep quality is very closely related to the way you feel. Depressed people often suffer either from insomnia or oversleeping. Depressed people can have trouble going to sleep as well as staying asleep. This can cause drowsiness and lethargy during the day. Sleep apnea is also linked with depression. As you can imagine, if this is left untreated, it will only worsen your depression.

Do you feel tired?
When the body does not get adequate sleep, you begin the day feeling tired. Thus, depressed people often feel fatigued and complain of a number of muscle and joint pains.  This is because the body has not had enough time to regenerate cells during the night. This is usually complemented by complains of persistent headache and stomach aches, both of which are emotionally connected to the way you feel.

The nature of depression is such that it lowers a person's self-esteem to the point of interfering with his ability to seek help. Hence, if you have a positive response to the above questions, it is time to address your problem before it worsens.

How To Recognize Depression In Adults

While many of us may associate healthy food with a healthy body, it is also true that healthy food can support a healthy brain. As we start to grow old, there is something known as oxidative damage which can lead to memory impairment and general brain decline. A healthy brain is one where the brain function is at an appropriate level and the ageing process has been pushed back in terms of stellar memory and information processing. According to Ayurveda and other arms of medical science, there are a number of super food items that can help in this process. Here is a list of five food items that can lead to a healthier brain.

Brahmi: This is one of the most commonly used Ayurvedic herbs. It can be used for many ailments and it is also prescribed as a brain tonic for stronger memory. Besides making the memory clear and sharp, this ingredient can improve the brain s grasping power and the mental capacity of the brain. It is also an excellent anti-anxiety agent, as per Ayurvedic science.
Ginkgo Biloba: This herb promotes better blood circulation in the brain, which helps in improving the overall brain function. It is also a memory enhancer. This herb is used by Ayurvedic doctors for the treatment of Alzheimer s Disease and Amnesia. It is a good medicine that can repair the damaged cells of the brain.
Ashwagandha: This is also known as an Ayurvedic wonder herb. This herb contains many beneficial properties for the brain and the rest of the body. When it comes to the brain and its functioning, Ashwagandha is ideal for patients who are suffering from severe stress. Besides being a stress reliever, this herb can also be used to keep the brain in a calm state for better performance. It helps in improving the functioning of the brain and its complex nerves. This herb is also a good memory enhancer.
Gotu Kola: Gotu Kola is a well-known Ayurvedic herb that can be used for protecting the nerves from damage. It protects the brain cells as well. Also, it enhances the capacity of the brain and leads to improved performance thanks to the many vital elements that it carries.
Mulethi: This is a stress relieving herb used by Ayurvedic doctors. It improves the blood circulation in the nervous system, which gives rise to better brain function. This is a very good herb for children and students, as it is a memory booster which helps them in retaining and retrieving information. It is also a stress relieving medicine that can be used to keep the brain calm and cool even in the most challenging situation.
Adding the above discussed products to your daily diet can help you achieve your fitness goals in terms of body and brain.

Five Food Items For A Healthier Brain!

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