HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

Depression is recognized as a mood disorder characterized by the prolonged feeling of sadness and loss of interest in otherwise regular activities. The symptoms include loss of sleep and appetite, loss of interest, persistent feeling of sadness and lowered self-esteem. These symptoms should last for a minimum of 4 weeks for the individual to be diagnosed with depression. Sometimes, at its later stages, depression can also be accompanied by suicidal tendencies.

How it can be treated?

Role of anti-depressants: Depression has become rather common in the present day scenario. The treatment varies from prescription drugs to therapy. People who have depression are usually given mood enhancers and anti-depressants. Antidepressants are medicines used to help people who have depression. With the help of these depression medications, most people can achieve significant recovery from depression. Most antidepressants are believed to work by slowing the removal of certain chemicals from the brain. These chemicals are called neurotransmitters (such as serotonin and norepinephrine). Neurotransmitters are needed for normal brain function and are involved in the control of mood and in other responses and functions, such as eating, sleep, pain, and thinking. Antidepressants help people with depression by making these natural chemicals more available to the brain. By restoring the brain s chemical balance, antidepressants help relieve the symptoms of depression. Specifically, antidepressant drugs help reduce the extreme sadness, hopelessness, and lack of interest in life that are typical in people with depression. However, these are but short-term solutions to depression and don t necessarily cure the individual completely. For the treatment to be effective, the drug intake must be combined with therapeutic techniques to solve the problem at the root level.
Therapy: Different therapeutic techniques are used to treat depression depending majorly on the individual, the cause of depression and general history and state of mind. Research suggests that client centered therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy are a good start with an average case of depression. The therapists usually incorporate several other methods based on the client s need to get maximum effect. Adlerian techniques, where individuals are made to comprehend the thoughts and emotions which influence their lifestyles and adopt a more productive and positive way of life, are rather helpful with most clients who suffer from depression.
Note
Depression is a fairly common mental health disorder today, affecting a large population. Depression must be acknowledged as a proper mood disorder and not just a passing phase. It is completely curable with proper medicine and therapeutic sessions. The individual is able to move over the feelings of unhappiness and lack of interest with proper care and acceptance from loved ones in addition to therapy and the drugs, of course.

Depression - Is it Curable?

Anger is an ordinary and is an expressed reaction to an attack, perceived danger or fear. It has been very useful in our struggle for survival. The brain distinguishes the danger and the body is provoked and energized to respond with battle or fight. Once in a while, obviously, it gets out of hand. A few people, unmistakably, see dangers where there are none or where the risk is negligible. Their bodies get provoked improperly. They could use some assistance in understanding the signs that trigger their reactions and discover approaches to improve control.

Health problems: There are some individuals who encounter so much anger that they cannot control their drive to strike out at other people. This is isolated and separated from the issue of alcohol and medication misuse. It is imperative to recall that in case that you are a person who effectively gets angry and has outbursts, you can hurt your health.

Aerobics: Many of us are aware of the advantageous impacts that workout has on one s well-being and health. Various studies exhibit that every day exercise, particularly a program that includes aerobic exercise, can counteract or lessen feelings of anger or depression. Aerobic exercises, much like cardio activities, such as running, brisk walking, swimming and bike riding gets a person out of breath while expanding the pulse and heart rate.

Muscle relaxation: Muscle relaxation requires you to concentrate on straining and unwinding specific muscle groups in your body, so that it can divert you from your sentiments of anger. Moreover, it is great for mitigating nervousness and pressure, which can likewise ease angry emotions. This activity additionally attempts to help you rest when your emotions are running high. Concentrate on a specific muscle group, for example, the muscles in one hand. While breathing in profoundly and gradually, crush the muscles as hard as you can and keep up that pressure for five seconds. For instance, straining your hand muscles would include shaping a tight clench hand. Concentrate on that gathering of muscles and make an effort not to unintentionally tense the surrounding muscles.

30 minutes: There is a lot to be gained even from a 30 minute routine at the gym, in the recreation center or at home. If you have any sort of medical condition, or if you are not sure about the condition of your health, you must consult your doctor. When you get medicinal freedom for activities, it helps arranging and using a work out timetable of no less than thrice each week.

All things considered, you do not have anything to lose except excess weight, depression and now, perhaps even anger. Along these lines, in case that you need to better deal with your anger as it emerges, a great workout might be the correct approach.

How Workout is the Best Way to Get Over Your Anger?

For human beings, the body is considered the temple, one that they strive to keep fit and in shape. In fact, the plethora of ailments, which people complain of suffering from, almost always deal with their physical health. In this over engagement to restore the physical health, the well being of the mental health is never considered. However truth remains that the health of the mind is equally if not more important and must be given its share of priority. With the growing age and times, depression has emerged as a gnawing problem, one that is plaguing individuals indiscriminately and one that must be eradicated as soon as possible. 
Some of the ways to combat this fatal ailment are: 

1. Exercises 
Everyday a bit of exercise not only keeps the body fit and healthy, but also goes a long way in easing and calming the mind. You need not indulge in strenuous exercises, but must make it a conscientious habit to work out a bit daily.

2. Talk to people
Though depression makes one inexorably quiet and silent, the first thing that is prescribed as a remedial measure is talk to people. Engaging in conversations with people, telling them what exactly is troubling you are proven ways to combat depression.

3. Meditate 
There is no better way to treat mental ailment than meditating.  When you suffer from depression, your body undergoes severe conflict. Meditating not only calms the mind, but also soothes away the worries.

4. Develop a support system
Depression is almost always followed by an unfathomable sense of loneliness. Talking to others does help, but at the same time try to develop a support system. Find an individual, be it parents, relatives or friends and confide in him or her. Not sharing what you are going through is never a solution and only exacerbates the fatality of the situation.

5. Change the daily routine
Monotony is never exciting and it is only time, before the humdrum of life gets to you. Changing the daily routine and incorporating something new and exciting go a long way in recuperating you from the mental dullness and fatigue.

Tips to Combat Depression

4 Life Lessons to Learn from Kangana Ranaut

Despite being an outsider in the industry, Kangana Ranaut has made her mark in Bollywood. The 'Queen of Bollywood' bagged the National Award in the best actress category for the third time for her double act in the commercial hit Tanu Weds Manu Returns. Ranaut is one of the highest paid actresses in India and is known for playing emotionally intense roles in films like Gangster and Woh Lamhe. But behind the fame and the glory, lies a story of struggle and constant perseverance. Kangana's rise to fame did not happen overnight, and her travails and triumphs have quite a few important lessons stored for all of us.

Here are 4 inspiring life lessons to take away from Kangana's real life story.

1. Be Yourself

Accept yourself and embrace the person you are. Making desperate attempts to fit in a social circle or trying to make people like you could turn depressing. Be yourself and don't compromise on your identity and be afraid to have a mind of your own. Kangana has constantly inspired us to be rebellious and to question stereotypes and sexism.

'People in the industry treated me like I didn't deserve to be spoken to and I was some unwanted object. I couldn't speak English fluently and people made fun of me for that. So dealing with rejection became a part of life...Today, when people say that I have made it and made it on my own.'

She said on an interview with Daily News and Analysis

2. Deal with your relationship problems

Stop tolerating abuse. Your partner is supposed to love and support you and not hurt you physically or emotionally. Don't be afraid of getting out of a relationship. It might be difficult and hard to deal with but it's best to get over with and start afresh. Ranaut was in a relationship with Aditya Pancholi, which turned sour after he assaulted her. Later she was also in a relationship with Adhyayan Suman and Nicholas Lafferty, an English doctor, which did not last either, but she always moved on with her head held high, personifying dignity.

3. Beat the odds

There might situations when your family does not support your career choices but don't let that stop you from going ahead with it. Believe in yourself and work hard on your goals. Kangana Ranaut inspires us to not give up easily. In spite of being an industry outsider, Ranaut made her mark with remarkable performances in Fashion, Queen, Woh Lamhe and Tanu Weds Manu. She quit pursuing medical and went for modeling instead and refused to take financial aid from her father. In short, don't give up on your dreams no matter how difficult it gets.

4. There is no end to learning

You can always continue with your interests even if you have a very busy professional life. Make time for your hobbies and interests as they expand your outlook. Ranaut learns Kathak as she enjoys dancing and considers it as a form of therapy. She also did a course on the technical aspects of filmmaking from New York Film Academy. She did not let her stardom affect her personal interests and wants to have a normal life.

'I don't want to lose my rights as a common person to learn and grow'

She said on an interview with Filmfare.



4 Life Lessons to Learn from Kangana Ranaut

Depression is a very common emotion you might have experienced at least once during your lifetime. Depression refers to a state of mind when you are feeling low due to persistent sadness and loss of interest. But if the depression is chronic and long lasting for you, then it indicates that you are suffering from clinical depression. Under clinical depression, it is preferable that you go through a proper treatment course by a certified therapist. The Most common types of depressions are:

-Major depression

Under this type of a depression you will be depressed for most days of the week and if this condition extends for a period greater than 2 weeks, then it is a case of major depression. The most common method to treat a major depression is to talk to a mental health specialist and take medications called antidepressants (only after a prescription by a certified doctor).

-Persistent depressive disorder

This is a more severe and long lasting type of depression which is identified if you are depressed over a period longer than 2 hours. The most common symptoms of this type of a disorder are - change in your appetite, too much or too little sleep, lack of energy or fatigue, low self-esteem, trouble concentrating or making decisions, feeling hopeless among others.

-Bipolar disorder

If you are experiencing extreme ups and downs of mood abruptly and without any apparent reason, then you might be suffering from this disorder. This disorder is commonly known as a maniac depression, because during an up phase you will be extremely happy, joyful outgoing and talkative but during the low phase you will be sad, tired and depressed.

-Seasonal affective disorder

This type of a depression might bother you only during the winter season. This happens whenever the days are shorter and your body is not able to get enough of sunlight. This mostly happens in the case of people who are very fond of sunlight, and they prefer the sunshine over dark periods of the night. This disorder is treated by SAD antidepressants and everyday light therapy of 15 to 20 minutes.

-Psychotic depression

Under this type of a depression, you will have a major depression along with some psychotic symptoms like - hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia. Hallucinations mean viewing things that are not there, in reality, delusions are false beliefs or misconceptions and paranoia is the constant fear that somebody is going to harm you.



5 Types of Common Depression

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