Most mental and emotional health issues are inconspicuous in nature and, therefore, cause more harm than they otherwise should, most people still live with a number of symptoms of depression without even realizing it or do little to address it. When the depressive symptoms last for more than 2 weeks and affect the individual's personal, social or occupational life, it is known as clinical depression or major depression. There is often a delay in opting for the treatment because of the social taboo associated with depression.

Depression makes a person miserable, disappointed, restless or numb for long and tedious timeframes, and is debilitating, particularly when they can't demonstrate their feelings and worries to anybody. It can meddle with their productivity and can become a concern not only in workplaces, but also in social circles.

So here's how to deal with a friend or family member in a depressed state of mind:

Be considerate: Do understand that depression doesn't mean" trouble". Melancholy is a condition with an assortment of side effects like exhaustion, confused mind state and rest issues. These are all side effects of melancholy. Crabbiness is an exceptionally basic side effect, which once in a while is encountered by many individuals, and can lead to an expanded sensitivity. Normally, it's difficult to be sympathetic with someone who is behaving grumpily. But you need to make a conscious effort to still see the positive in depressed individuals and lead them to hope.
Encourage and support: Try not to shame people for being negative. Dejection changes the world into a scene of pessimism. Discouraged individuals don't just focus on the negatives, but they also disregard the positives.
Do validate: Approval can help manage a depressed state, and can wean a friend or family member out of depression. Remember that someone with dejection is not living in the same universe as you. The laws that oversee your universe don't exist in theirs.Depressed individuals require your understanding, your empathy, and your affection, considerably more when they are having a troublesome day, week or month. It is hard, but possible. Discouraged individuals value a positive backing in particular.
Never say 'you're too much': When someone with depression is told "you're too much" particularly by somebody near them, it can send them spiralling into blame and nervousness and bitterness. Being encouraging and empowering is likewise useful.
Be patient with the treatment process: A certain amount of trial and error in treatment is to be expected, Baer said. But the good news is that doctors can often help people with depression feel better and function better with a combination of medication and talk therapy, he added. With time and treatment, depression can lift.


Tips for Dealing with a Depressed Family Member

It's International Women s Day yet again. A time to celebrate women s accomplishments- both those of legendary creators including Mother Teresa, Kiran Bedi, Anuradha Koirala   the anti-sex-trafficking activist & Mary Kom to name a few and the women in our lives who mentor and inspire us every day. It s a day to celebrate our journey towards gender equality and women empowerment.

This year s International Women s Day theme is  Time is Now: Rural and urban activists transforming women's lives.  It comes on the heels of unprecedented global movement for women s rights, equality, and justice. The theme has taken the global campaigns and marches on issues ranging from sexual harassment and femicide to equal pay and women s political representation.

Women still have a long way to go to attain equality and non-discrimination from her male counterparts. 2018 International Women s day is an 'iron in the fire opportunity' to bring a call to action to entrust women with what they actually deserve, not only in a particular sector but to every woman who resides in urban as well as rural areas. It is a step to respect and appreciate the women who step out every day for the livelihood of their families and kids - a step to stop casual sexism faced by urban women in the workplace.

Women, experiencing sexual harassment in the workplace, not only bear strained relationships with their counterparts but also are at risk of numerous health problems. Let us know about the health effects of sexual harassment:

Depression: Self-doubt and criticism can lead to depression and loss of interest in work or other activities. Women also experience loss of self-confidence and feelings of failure & powerlessness.
Anxiety: Many women feel anxious about going to work, communicating with co-workers or being involved in social situations.
Insomnia: Sexual harassment trauma can cause nightmares and may lessen the woman's ability to sleep properly.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): Studies say that sexual harassment meets the Criteria A1 and A2 of PTSD. The stress of sexual harassment may cause a woman to relive the trauma even when it is not happening, or avoid things or people that remind her of the sexual harassment.
The International Women s Day echoes a word for transforming the lives of women with a bold determination not just on papers but in reality to support the women all around the globe. Many working women have sad tales to tell as they are exploited at a very high level, and they actually lead a stressful life in comparison to their male counterparts.

So, the spotlight this year is to fight against the injustice that most women face every day and to bring about a change that will be remembered for years and will outshine the lives of such women who devote themselves for the livelihood of their families.

Join a campaign, embrace your inner activist and empower the women in your life...

The #TimeisNow To-

Raise your voice
Support each other
Share the workload
Get involved
Educate the next generation
Know your rights

#TimeIsNow - This International Women's Day, Empower The Woman In Your Life! 

What is depression?

It is a state of mind when a person feels very low, loses interest in routine daily activities, feels hopeless and helpless. Many times the person starts thinking about suicide. It is a very dangerous state and needs immediate intervention from mental health professionals.

Assessment of depression:

Anyone feeling very sad cannot be called as a" depressed" person. To confirm the depression, the person needs to undergo assessment tests by either a psychologist or a psychiatrist. A" depression test" is carried out to see the exact intensity of depression.

Symptoms of depression:

Feeling very sad all the time, continuously for more than 15 days: feeling very sad continuously for a period of 15 days or more confirms depression. But just feeling sad sometimes is not depression.

 Crying for no specific reason: a depressed person may cry without any specific reason or provocation. The internal feeling of sadness is so intense, that the person cries without a good reason.
 Feeling worthless and hopeless: a depressed person has very low self esteem. The person thinks that he/she is useless, has no value and respect in the society. A depressed person feels hopeless. He/she thinks that'this is the end of the world' and things cannot improve. The person does not have any hopes about future and may start thinking about committing suicide or may attempt suicide.
 Loss of interest in life: the person loses interest in life. Does not feel like taking part in any activities which she/he were interested in doing earlier. There is nothing to look forward to, in their life.
 Ignoring personal hygiene: the person is so disinterested in life that she/he becomes careless about personal hygiene. They may not take bath for days together, may not even change their clothes or comb their hair or brush their teeth and are least bothered about the general cleanliness.
 Sleep disorders: the depressed person may sleep all the time or may not be able to sleep at all, which affects their overall health.
 Eating disorders: the person with depressive symptoms may stop eating or eat very little or in some cases eat a lot.
 Lack of sexual desire: the person may lose interest in sex and stop interacting with the sexual partner or start avoiding them.
 Feeling like a loser all the time, not wanting to fight back: the person has no self confidence and hence loses all the faith in his/her own abilities. Does not believe that he/she can face difficult situations and also can fight back.
 Becoming antisocial: the person avoids meeting other people and does not interact with people at home.

Causes of depression:

There are various factors, which may cause depression:

Family history: a person who has a family history of depression is more likely to have depression. If any of the parents or grandparents were diagnosed with depression then the person is more susceptible to depression.

Trauma: if a person has gone through a'life changing' experience, it can cause depression. Situations, such as a sudden death of a loved one or in case of witnessing devastating natural disasters like earthquake or tsunami or a war survivor, someone who has experienced terrorist attack or when someone has suffered sexual or physical abuse etc. May cause depression.

Health issues: if a person is having terminal illness, that can cause depression as the person has to endure lot of pain and has no hopes about recovery.

Relationship problems: if a person is dissatisfied with his/her close relationships like relation with the spouse, parents, siblings or offsprings, then the person may feel like a failure and feels worthless, unwanted or betrayed.

Financial issues: a person having any financial issue like not able to get a job or loss of job, incurring heavy losses in business or unable to earn enough money to satisfy the basic needs etc. Might get depressed.

Failures in life: failure to pass an examination, failure to achieve targets/goals, failure in love affair etc. May result in depression.

Treatment for depression:

Depression may fall in the category of mild, moderate and severe. But it is very important that the person gets assessed for the severity of depression.

Assessment by a psychiatrist/psychologist/counsellor: a person needs to be assessed by either a psychiatrist or a psychologist or a counsellor, to understand the intensity of depression. These mental health professionals may assess a person by talking to him/her and if required by applying certain'depression assessment' tests.

Medication and counselling: in case of moderate to severe depression, a psychiatrist will prescribe certain medication. Along with the medicines, counselling sessions work very well. In case of mild depression, only counselling also can be helpful.

Depression is treatable: if you come across someone with depressive symptoms, kindly advise them to seek help from a counsellor, psychologist or a psychiatrist.

Depression What You Need to Know About It

Is depression eating you up from within? are you facing severe emotional meltdown? emotional disturbances can ruin your life and this is why you have to look for the best preventive ways. You can have a consultation with any counsellor so that you can share your problems. Your counsellor will definitely help you to get some potential way out. 

Best ways for preventing emotional meltdown:

 Detecting the signs: the actual signs of emotional meltdown need to be detected and then only you can get rid of the same. Both your facial expressions and behavioural changes are to be observed carefully as these will help you to detect the signs. If you are remaining silent for most of the times, then there is something going on in your mind for sure. 
 Early intervention: you should rely on your intuition or sixth sense so that you can sense the troubles you are going to face. You should have a good observation power so that you can sense things easily. Remain quiet and calm so that you can take the right decisions. 
 Living well: you need to choose a completely healthy way of living, otherwise you will never get freedom from emotional troubles. Do not think much about past incidents, rather you should look forward so that you can go ahead. You should develop only positive mentality in order to discharge your duties in a perfect manner. Remain happy and keep everybody happy and then only you will be able to get the actual essence of life. Healthy eating and good habits are also needed so that your life can become more lively and refreshing. 
 Have proper communication: if you think that your friends or family members are pretty reliable, then you can openly communicate with them. This would help you to get mental relief and relaxation. If you open up your emotions and share them with anybody, then you will feel relaxed and your mind will be calm at all times. 
 Have counselling: it is not always possible to share all your secrets with your loved ones and this is the reason you have to look for the most reliable option. You can go for thorough counselling, and this can help you to get rid of depressing thoughts and other mental troubles. In this case, you have to look for the best counsellor in your locality so that you can disclose all your hidden secrets.

How to Prevent an Emotional Meltdown?

HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

Smartphone Addiction is a Sign of Depression

There are some people who just never seem to get off the phone. They would be looking at their phones all the time, messaging, using social networking sites or simply clicking their pictures or playing games. A study suggests that addiction to the smartphone is linked to and serves as a sign of depression.

The study reveals that individuals who have been diagnosed with some form or degree of depression tend to use their phones more. In fact, smartphone addiction is correlated to clinical depression. So, if your teenage son or daughter or someone you know have been using their phones too often, then this might be a red signal towards depression.

Smartphone addiction can be seen as a compulsive behavior and is typically noticed among depressed people. At the same time, it can result in depression as well. People who are prone to developing depression symptoms may also use their phone more often. Their excessive usage and smartphone addiction may actually make them irritable and sad, looking at photos of others, noticing other people’s lives may make them feel that their lives aren’t perfect. This can in turn lead to feelings of extreme sadness, cause depression or even suicidal thoughts.

So, make sure that you keep a tab of how often people use smartphone in your family. If you suspect behavioral changes with smartphone addiction, consider getting a consultation with a psychologist or counsellor.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Your Addiction To Smart Phone Reveals Something Shocking About You!

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