HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

Depression is a very unfortunate state to be in, in every sense of the word. It is a sickness of the mind and can only be felt by the person experiencing it. As a matter of fact, it is even worse when depression does not occur on its own, but is rather accompanied by another condition such as fatigue.

There are many cases where depression occurs along with chronic fatigue syndrome. The irony is that when a person is depressed, he or she is unlikely to be willing to get out of bed and when this is compounded by chronic fatigue syndrome, even if the depression alleviates, it would not make much of a difference as it would be a case of  mind willing, flesh weak !

Many of the people who are diagnosed with depression have extreme patterns when it comes to sleep. Either he or she would sleep for extended periods of time and feel lethargic to do anything else. Or, the other situation is generally when he or she is more or less an insomniac and does not get sleep even if he or she would really like to grab a bit of shut-eye!

What are the Symptoms?
When a person is going through depression, it can be said to be of the highest importance to be able to judge the symptoms of the condition soon, so that the person can go and seek treatment. The symptoms, which are being talked about include extreme eating habits, that is, either eating way too much or not enough at all, along with a continuous sense of anxiety which, depending on how severe the case of depression is, can cause a person to have his or her mind clouded by the anxiety which over sweeps all other thoughts. In addition to these symptoms, there are other signs which appear with the onset and continuance of depression. These include disinterest in hobbies, which once appeared enjoyable to take part in.

Chronic fatigue syndrome kills off any urge to partake in any activity, which is voluntary in nature. With the combination of these two conditions, it can be quite possible, rather unfortunately, for a person to find himself or herself to be stuck in a vicious cycle. Sleep disorders, such as sleep apnea can really kill a person s zing and as a result of the same, make it harder for him or her to get out of depression and more likely to fall into depression if he or she has not yet. Curing depression includes changes schedules, engaging in yoga and other similar activities. Dietary changes may also be warranted. However, the recovery should take effect soon!

Depression - It Can Cause You to Feel 100 Years Old

The number of people affected by hypertension is constantly on the rise. The most important concern with people developing hypertension is that it is not an isolated issue. It brings with it a host of problems, including higher chances of stroke, heart disease, diabetes, and kidney diseases. While there is no definite cure for hypertension, it is definitely possible to control it using the following measures.

Weight control: Greater the body mass index (BMI), higher is the chances of developing hypertension. Check with your doctor to know what the ideal weight is and try to maintain it. If overweight, losing even 10 pounds can make a big difference to your blood pressure.
Diet management: Excessive salt, calories, fat, and sugar are to be avoided. Sodium is one of the main culprits for increasing blood pressure and should be avoided. Include fruits and vegetables that are rich in potassium and magnesium. Reducing salt is another major way to control blood pressure. Fish oils with omega-3 fatty acids are extremely good for the health of the heart and so consult your doctor to include the right amounts in your diet. 
Exercise: A regular workout regimen can reduce the chances of developing blood pressure by up to 40% to 50%. This should not be misinterpreted as the need for vigorous workouts. Even small, regular physical activity daily goes a long way in controlling blood pressure.
Alcohol: While quitting alcohol is the best thing to do, for those finding it difficult to do so, cutting down on it plays a big role in controlling blood pressure. No more than a drink per day for women, and no more than two per day for men are recommended.
Stress management: Stress is one of the major causes for increasing blood pressure, and so managing stress is very important. Whether music or meditation, pick your stress buster and see your blood pressure lowered.
Medications: If you are already on a medication regimen, strictly adhere to the schedule. Consult your doctor before adding herbal supplements or dietary supplements. Taken individually, they may be good for health, but there are good chances of them interacting with your regular medications.
Monitor: Once you have been diagnosed with high blood pressure, have periodic check-ups with your doctor to ensure it is within the permissible limits. If beyond limits, immediately correct it.
As noted, hypertension is not an isolated issue and brings with it a whole lot of issues. Controlling it can help control the other issues that would follow and improve the quality of life.


Hypertension: 7 Best Ways to Control it

While many of us may associate healthy food with a healthy body, it is also true that healthy food can support a healthy brain. As we start to grow old, there is something known as oxidative damage which can lead to memory impairment and general brain decline. A healthy brain is one where the brain function is at an appropriate level and the ageing process has been pushed back in terms of stellar memory and information processing. According to Ayurveda and other arms of medical science, there are a number of super food items that can help in this process. Here is a list of five food items that can lead to a healthier brain.

Brahmi: This is one of the most commonly used Ayurvedic herbs. It can be used for many ailments and it is also prescribed as a brain tonic for stronger memory. Besides making the memory clear and sharp, this ingredient can improve the brain s grasping power and the mental capacity of the brain. It is also an excellent anti-anxiety agent, as per Ayurvedic science.
Ginkgo Biloba: This herb promotes better blood circulation in the brain, which helps in improving the overall brain function. It is also a memory enhancer. This herb is used by Ayurvedic doctors for the treatment of Alzheimer s Disease and Amnesia. It is a good medicine that can repair the damaged cells of the brain.
Ashwagandha: This is also known as an Ayurvedic wonder herb. This herb contains many beneficial properties for the brain and the rest of the body. When it comes to the brain and its functioning, Ashwagandha is ideal for patients who are suffering from severe stress. Besides being a stress reliever, this herb can also be used to keep the brain in a calm state for better performance. It helps in improving the functioning of the brain and its complex nerves. This herb is also a good memory enhancer.
Gotu Kola: Gotu Kola is a well-known Ayurvedic herb that can be used for protecting the nerves from damage. It protects the brain cells as well. Also, it enhances the capacity of the brain and leads to improved performance thanks to the many vital elements that it carries.
Mulethi: This is a stress relieving herb used by Ayurvedic doctors. It improves the blood circulation in the nervous system, which gives rise to better brain function. This is a very good herb for children and students, as it is a memory booster which helps them in retaining and retrieving information. It is also a stress relieving medicine that can be used to keep the brain calm and cool even in the most challenging situation.
Adding the above discussed products to your daily diet can help you achieve your fitness goals in terms of body and brain.

Five Food Items For A Healthier Brain!

Life has its ups and downs, but often we hold on to the downs for much longer than the actual event. While the trigger or anger, pain and hurt are beyond our control, the amount it can affect us is well within reach. Here are a few ways to cope better with emotional upsets.

Give yourself a window to be upset: Be realistic and give yourself a time frame to give in to your emotions. Whether, angry, sad or frustrated tell yourself that you have only 1 day to be upset. In a way, this will diffuse the anger and frustration and once this time is over, you can start planning ahead.
Take responsibility: Try analysing what you may have done to make the other person react in the way he or she did. Focus on what you could have done better and you will find yourself feeling more empowered.
Get physical: Exercise and other forms of physical activity decrease stress hormones and increases the productions of endorphins or happy hormones that elevate the mind. Exercising also gives you time to focus on yourself without distractions.
Express yourself: Whether it s through art or writing, find an outlet for your emotions. This keeps it from being bottled up inside and gets the pain and frustration out of your system.
Breathe: Breathing techniques like ujayii and anulom vilom can help calm the mind down when it is troubled and upset. These breathing techniques also keep your emotions from escalating.
Get company: It is never a good idea to isolate yourself when you re feeling blue. Instead, find people who you can open up to and share your thoughts with. This will give you a fresh perspective on what is going on.
Look at both sides: No event is ever completely bad. No matter what may be troubling you look at both the good and bad sides of it. This can help minimise your loss and make it easier to let go of the problem.
Do something different: The best way to get your mind off something is to give it something else to focus on. If you re troubled by something that happened at work, go for a drive or play a sport. Similarly, if you re having relationship trouble, go out with a few friends or read a book to take your mind off it.
Visualize: Imagine the person or the event that is upsetting you as an object in your mind and visualise it melting away. Remind yourself that the anger or frustration you are feeling is worse than the person or event itself.
Clean up: Organise your desk, your room or start cleaning up space around you. This will take attention away from whatever is troubling you and give you something to do.

Are You Emotionally Upset? 10 Ways to Get Over it!

Anxiety is something you face a lot due to different reasons. It also leads to mutiple problems, including low confidence, giving you an uneasy or uneasy feeling and more importantly affects your general well being and ability to work. If you feel you suffer from anxiety, here are some ways to reduce it.


	Accept the anxiety: anxiety is only a temporary phase which everyone faces. If you keep worrying and try to fight it, you will become even more anxious and your health will become even worse. The only way to deal with the anxiety mentally is to accept that this is a temporary phase and that it will pass away soon.
	Self-soothing techniques: there are many physiological things for you to do as well which will allow you to relieve anxiety. Diaphragmatic breathing is a very good way to achieve this. Sometimes reassuring yourself is more valuable than you think. Practice saying comforting things to yourself and the stress and anxiety will automatically reduce. Muscle relaxation is yet another method which will allow you to decrease your anxiety.
	Monitor your diet: your diet is crucial in reducing your anxiety as caffeine and alcohol are two of the leading causes of anxiety in your body. However, abruptly stopping your intake of caffeine and alcohol also leads to withdrawal symptoms. Therefore balancing out intake of alcohol and caffeine is crucial.
	Exercise regularly: you probably know that exercise is very important for maintaining good health. However, what you probably do not know is that exercise is perhaps more effective than even medication in relieving your anxiety. Therefore, it is imperative for you to get moving.
	Get adequate sleep: everyone feels bad when they do not sleep enough. However, did you know that lack of sleep is a major cause of anxiety. The more you sleep, the less anxious you will feel.



5 Tips To Reduce Your Anxiety Instantly

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