If someone in your family or your partner is suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, your mental health is at stake too. You will have to take care of yourself and your emotional needs first. Life can be frustrating for you all the time. But, you need to identify your  feel good  activities and take some time out of your daily life to relax and calm down. Remember, you can succeed in the critical task of appeasing or pleasing your dear one with BPD, only when you are at peace with yourself first. Destress yourself to fight back the depression or emotional drainage caused by handling a BPD patient.

Here are few things that can help you have a better life while being in a relationship with a person suffering from BPD:

1. Don t isolate yourself: You must be in touch with people you like to be with. You need emotional support from friends and family to deal with life. Spending some quality time with friends and family members can add little happiness to your life. It will boost up your energy level to fight back the dark side of life. You must remember that you have a life as well.

2. Take care of your health: Sometimes, relatives of BPD patients forget to take care of their physical health. They forget basic stuffs like having proper meals, exercising, etc just because they are caught-up in a stressful relationship. But, remember you can help your loved one better only when you are physically fit.

3. Manage stress: Don t get anxious or depressed with the ongoing stress in your life. It will only add to your existing problems. Keep your nerves cool to have a better life for yourself as well as your sweetheart with BPD.

4. Believe in the 3c s formula: Well, it is a formula recommended by most of the mental health practitioners. Don t blame yourself for the irrational behaviour of your friend or dear one. The patient with BPD is solely responsible for his or her destructive behaviour or abnormal outburst. You will have to remember these 3c s: I didn't cause it; I can't cure it; and I can't control it.

5. Careful communication: You have to be very careful while communicating with BPD patients. Don t argue or try to convince them, when they are already in a disturbed frame of mind or agitated. They might end up getting destructive. Listen to their words carefully and patiently. Occasional nodding in between a conversation is advisable to let them feel assured about the fact that they are being heard and understood.

Don t forget to acknowledge their feelings. It is also important that you stay calm when the patient is angry and has turned destructive.

How to Deal with a Person Suffering from Borderline Personality?

Anger is among the gamut of emotions we exhibit as a reaction to a situation, and it is a'normal' emotion too as long as it is kept under control. Some people have the propensity to explode when pushed to the extreme. They keep swallowing their emotions until they can finally do it no more, and erupt like a volcano. Others dealing with extreme anger are like a ticking time bomb. You'll never know what you unwittingly say or do can trigger an explosion. In either case, anger that cannot be controlled comes with a physical reaction.

Your heart beats faster preparing you for both action and reaction. Your breathing quickens. You may clench your fist, tighten your shoulders and go into a defensive position. The problem arises out of the fact that it is almost impossible to feel anger and empathy at the same time. An angry person is seldom sensitive to the well being of his victim, and hence may lash out verbally and sometimes physically. Such things done in the heat of the moment mostly leaves us with regrets. So here are a few ways to deal with extreme anger.


	Acknowledge it: the first step in solving a problem is recognizing that you have one. The fundamental problem here is that people believe they are on the right track and refuse to budge from their views. It is essential to realize that this step is not about deciding whether you are right or wrong, but acknowledging the fact that your reaction to the situation can be channeled in a better way. When getting someone to acknowledge their anger problem, be careful as to not use negative words like wrong, false and shouldn't. Instead, influence with positive words like can and should. Instead of saying'you are wrong to react like this, you can say'i understand what you are feeling. Is there a way we can resolve this situation'
	Recognize the signs: once you know that your problems exist, you can try devising ways that will work for you in dealing with the situation. You can count to 10 to calm yourself or simply decide to not speak until you can calm yourself. Knowing that you may enter into an argument in a situation, you can list down the points that you feel strongly about and discuss each of them one by one. Working your way through a finite list gives a better opportunity to reach closure at the end.
	Find ways to let it go: not all arguments end in closure. A lot of unsaid justifications cloud our mind repeatedly leaving us seething from the inside. Research has shown that the neurological anger response lasts less than two seconds. Beyond that it takes a strong will to stay angry. Once you realize how much your anger is consuming your mind, decide to free your mind with meditation and other calming exercises. Tell yourself that some people and issues simply don't deserve your anger, emotion, reaction or time.


If you or someone you know is suffering from anger management issues, consult a doctor today.


How To Control Extreme Anger

Previously known as multiple personality disorder or simply split personality disorder, dissociative identity disorder is a very serious and unpleasant form of dissociation. It is based on the lack of connection, or rather a discontinuity in thought, action, feeling, memory or even a misplaced sense of identity. It is usually considered to be a result of severe traumatic experiences in early childhood, varying from extremely physical to repeated emotional or sexual abuse. It is thought to be a self-defense mechanism where the person dissociates himself from any such experience or situation that would deem to be harmful to his or her conscious self. It is, however, not to be confused with schizophrenia.

Symptoms

There are innumerable indicators that point towards dissociative identity disorder. Some of them include:

1. Severe depression
2. Sleeping problems such as insomnia or sleep apnea
3. Alcohol or drug abuse
4. Anxiety attacks and phobias
5. Suicidal tendencies
6. Abnormal rituals and compulsions
7. Visual or auditory hallucinations
8. Self-persecution and self-sabotage tendencies
9. Time-loss and amnesia
10. Mood swings
11. Headaches and migraines
12. Inability to remember important personal information
13. 'Switching' of identities

Causes

The main causes of split personality disorder are unfortunately still unclear and vague, although 99% of persons who suffer from this disorder have a severe traumatic history or background. The causes need not be physical or sexual abuse. It could also stem from emotional abuse like insistent neglect. Studies have also showed that children may become dissociative, if their parents are either too strict or unpredictable.

Symptoms and Causes of Split Personality Disorder

Borderline personality disorder (bpd) is a mental illness. A patient suffering from bpd maintains unstable relationships with other people, shows inappropriate emotional reactions and possesses suicidal or self-harm tendencies. It is purely a personality disorder caused due to multiple factors. Patients suffering from bpd may find it difficult to stay alone. They fear abandonment and loneliness. Yet they have a tendency of showing mood swings, sudden emotional outburst or anger and hostility. This prevents them from having a long lasting relationship in life.

It usually starts affecting the patient's life from early adulthood. It however seems to improve with age. The patient also has distorted self-image. He or she is unclear about what they want from life or what they are in reality. Even minor incidents can trigger intense reactions in people with bpd.

Symptoms of borderline personality disorder.

The signs of suffering from bpd are listed below:

Intense and frantic effort to avoid abandonment or loneliness
Unstable relationships with people and changing the attitude towards them drastically. It can change from being in immense love with each other to intense hatred.
Developing paranoid thoughts and having dissociative feelings-the patient often lacks the feeling of self and suffers from identity crisis.
Suicidal feelings and attempts
Tendency to cause self harm or destruction by drug abuse, driving irresponsibly or be having unprotected sex
Reflecting intense depression
Chronic boredom
Sudden anger and hostility
Causes for borderline personality disorder.

Borderline personality disorder can be caused due to multiple reasons. Usually it has been found by researchers that it occurs to patients who have had a disturbed childhood. Complex and unpleasant happenings in the childhood may leave a deep impact on the patient's personality, which comes back as a disorder in his or her early adulthood. From mental, physical to sexual abuse in the childhood can lead to this condition in adults.

Besides, researchers have discovered recently that this illness has hereditary links. Some genes may be responsible for bpd. Improper functioning of the brain is also another factor. Especially, the portion of brain that controls emotions might not be functioning properly in co-ordination with other parts of it.

Diagnosis.

There is no particular clinical test that can diagnose bpd. It can be diagnosed by a series of interactive session with the patient by a psychiatrist.

Treatment.

The treatment of bpd involves three steps- psychotherapy, medications and support from peer and family. Dialectical behavioral therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy and psychodynamic psychotherapy are used in treating the patient. There are no specific medicines to cure identity crisis, boredom and loneliness. However, other symptoms like mood swings, depression and anxiety can be treated with anti-depressants and mood stabilizers. Antipsychotic drugs are also helpful to a certain extent. In extreme cases, hospitalization may be needed.

A Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder

Anger is good. It protects you. But intense, uncontrolled anger may destroy valuable relationships. Anger is a result of anxiety and fear. When we assume that our expectations will not be met, we become anxious. When we feel unsure about our own capabilities we become anxious. This anxiety creates fear. Anxiety comes from our beliefs. All beliefs can be modified.

Anger has lots of energy. Avoid arguments/confrontations when you are very angry. When you are very angry you are likely to use rough language which may damage your relations and you are likely to behave impulsively. All this you might regret later on. Following are a few techniques which will help you to manage your anger in difficult situations :

Sit down and have a glass of water, slowly. This will help you to calm down a little.
Avoid or go away from that room or situation. Tell the people concerned, that you are angry and would like to discuss it some other time.
Deep breathing exercises help a lot. Close your eyes, take 10 deep breaths, turn your attention towards your body. See what is happening to your body. Tell your body muscles to relax. If your heart is beating fast, if you are breathing fast, continue deep breathing, till it normalises.
Now understand what is making you angry. Understand your own anxiety and fear related to the issue.
Let the other person know how you are  feeling . Start your statements, I feel hurt/insulted/let down/neglected etc. when you do this , instead of saying  You hurt/neglect me . When you express your feeling in this manner, the other person does not feel blamed, which makes the other person more receptive.
Focus on the current issue, don t bring in past situations.
Tell the other person, what you want or expect, instead of telling what you do not want. E.G. Instead of saying  I don t want you to go out now , say  I would like you to stay at home today .
Listen carefully what the other person wants to tell you. Give others a chance to voice their opinions.
Make an eye contact and be firm but polite while communicating your point of view.
Understand everyone s responsibility in the situation. Try to see, what is your share in the problematic situation? Work on that.
Understand what change you want.
Have realistic expectations from others and also from yourself.

Anger Management - 12 Tips To Help You!

You might think, as a parent, that if you behave strictly then your child will become well-behaved. But research and studies have shown that the opposite happens. Strict parenting leads to children who behave worse than others and they suffer from low self-esteem.

Some other reasons why being strict is harmful:

Never learning self-regulation: Responsibility and self-discipline have to be learned by the children themselves. When you put harsh limits on them, they never learn self-regulation. If they think the limits don t sound too harsh, they will learn to accept them. But the limits placed on them should never be controlling. If this happens, children see themselves as being controlled and no one enjoys being controlled.
Instilling fear: If you are being authoritarian (parenting in which there are high demands and low sympathy) instead of empathetic, then your children will become scared of you. You are instilling the power of fear in them. This triggers a vicious chain of events. When you yell, they will yell as well.
Anger and depression: Authoritarian parenting often leads to children believing a part of them is unacceptable. They feel that their parents would not understand. It makes them susceptible to anger management issues and depression.
Blindly obeying those in power: Children raised up in strict households start thinking power is always right. They learn to obey blindly. This makes them vulnerable to peer pressure. They also never learn to take responsibility for their actions.
Rebelling: Children tend to be angrier and become rebellious when they have strict parents. The need to break free and not conform to the non-empathetic limits that forces them to act out. They might even nurture thoughts about leaving home and running away.
Lying: Strict parenting creates excellent liars. Children learn to lie when they are in trouble. They think lies will placate their parents and they can get away with anything.
Damage to parent-child relationship: If you are strict and you don t change your authoritarian ways, then it damages your relationship with your children. Natural empathy is lacking in strict parents. You don t understand your child, and your child doesn t feel like sharing their lives with you. It creates a divide between the parent and child. Children never quite get over this as they grow older.

Being a Strict Parent Can be Harmful for Your Kids - 7 Reasons Prove it

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