Anger is good. It protects you. But intense, uncontrolled anger may destroy valuable relationships. Anger is a result of anxiety and fear. When we assume that our expectations will not be met, we become anxious. When we feel unsure about our own capabilities we become anxious. This anxiety creates fear. Anxiety comes from our beliefs. All beliefs can be modified.

Anger has lots of energy. Avoid arguments/confrontations when you are very angry. When you are very angry you are likely to use rough language which may damage your relations and you are likely to behave impulsively. All this you might regret later on. Following are a few techniques which will help you to manage your anger in difficult situations :

Sit down and have a glass of water, slowly. This will help you to calm down a little.
Avoid or go away from that room or situation. Tell the people concerned, that you are angry and would like to discuss it some other time.
Deep breathing exercises help a lot. Close your eyes, take 10 deep breaths, turn your attention towards your body. See what is happening to your body. Tell your body muscles to relax. If your heart is beating fast, if you are breathing fast, continue deep breathing, till it normalises.
Now understand what is making you angry. Understand your own anxiety and fear related to the issue.
Let the other person know how you are  feeling . Start your statements, I feel hurt/insulted/let down/neglected etc. when you do this , instead of saying  You hurt/neglect me . When you express your feeling in this manner, the other person does not feel blamed, which makes the other person more receptive.
Focus on the current issue, don t bring in past situations.
Tell the other person, what you want or expect, instead of telling what you do not want. E.G. Instead of saying  I don t want you to go out now , say  I would like you to stay at home today .
Listen carefully what the other person wants to tell you. Give others a chance to voice their opinions.
Make an eye contact and be firm but polite while communicating your point of view.
Understand everyone s responsibility in the situation. Try to see, what is your share in the problematic situation? Work on that.
Understand what change you want.
Have realistic expectations from others and also from yourself.

Anger Management - 12 Tips To Help You!

Do you get angry easily? Do you fume when something goes against your wish? Does your blood pressure rocket when someone tells you something that you don't like? Anger is a normal emotion of human psychology, but it is equally important to keep your anger under control. Just like any other emotion, anger too varies from person to person, and the circumstances. Uncontrolled anger can lead to mental and physical stress. It also causes stress on relationships and damages your health. Therefore, it is important to practice anger management exercises to control such extremes of emotions.

Here are some of the anger management tips that can help you control your anger:

1. Think before you speak: We often say something out of anger and then regret it later. This is a common condition that has been faced by almost everyone at some point of time. Do not say things abruptly without thinking. Always take your time and think over what you are about to say.

2. Express your anger once you are calm: Do not say things at the heat of the moment. Once you calm down, express your views on things that are bothering you. This will help you express better without hurting anyone.

3. Exercise: Regular exercise is one of the best tools to reduce stress. Light meditative exercises performed on a regular basis such as a morning jog or deep breathing can control your anger to a great extent.

4. Identify the specific cause: Instead of being grumpy about things that make you angry, try to find out the root cause of the issue and eliminate it, so that you don't have to face it again. Remind yourself that anger won't solve the problem and can only make situations worse.

5. Hold no grudge: Holding on to the negative feelings can only have a negative impact on your own health. Learn to forgive others. Forgiving not only keeps the relationship healthy, but also keeps you away from stress and negative emotions.

6. Practice relaxation tactics: When your temper reaches its height, put your relaxation tactics in action. A few tactics like deep breathing or repeating words to yourself like "Take it easy" or "Calm down" can actually calm you down during critical situations.

7.  Take a timeout: Take short breaks during stressful times of your day. This helps to release some of your stress and calm you down. You may also listen to music, take a light snack or do something that you like, to spend some time away from stressful conditions of your daily routine.

Best Ways To Control Anger

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a type of personality disorder characterized by an ongoing pattern of varying moods, self-image and behaviour. This often results in impulsive actions and problems in relationships and at work. You may experience intense episodes of various emotions like anger, depression and anxiety that may last for a few hours to a few days.

Diagnosis of BPD
If you experience the following 10 symptoms for a long time or if they have had a huge impact on your daily life, you may say that you are suffering from BPD:

Feeling of being abandoned. You feel that people may abandon you and are constantly worried about that. You would do anything to stop it.
Frequent mood swings. You experience intense emotions that last from a few hours to a few days. E.g. You suddenly start feeling low and depressed after feeling very happy and confident for a while.
Lack of identity. You don t know who you are and do not have a strong sense of your being.
Unable to sustain relationships. You find it very hard to retain relationships and make new ones.
You feel empty from within all the time.
Make impulsive decisions and show sudden reactions. You do things to harm yourself like binge eating, drug abuse or driving dangerously.
You inflict pain on yourself or have suicidal feelings.
You have anger issues which are very difficult to control.
You get paranoid or dissociate when you re stressed.
You experience all your emotions very intensely be it anger, happiness or sadness.
Self-Care - How can you help yourself?
If you start feeling overwhelmed, focus on one feeling at a time. It will help channelize your energy and thoughts into finding a solution for that emotion. Different therapies help different people at different times. You are the best judge to decide what benefits you the most.

Follow these tips to get through the various emotions that you may experience.

When you are angry and frustrated
Rip a newspaper
Hit a pillow
Listen to your favourite music
Go for a walk or do some vigorous exercise
When you are depressed and lonely
Wrap yourself in a blanket and watch your favourite movie or TV show.
Write all the negative feelings on a piece of paper and tear the paper.
Use positive affirmations to comfort yourself.
Cuddle a pillow/pet/soft toy
When you are tensed and anxious 
Try to shift your focus to something else like music, yoga or meditation.
Take a deep breath, use relaxation techniques and focus on your breaths.
Take a warm bath to help soothe your mood.
When you want to harm yourself
Rub ice over the parts where you want to hurt yourself.
Take a cold-water bath to cool yourself.



Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - Tips To Help You Diagnose The Problem!

Anger is an inherent part of human nature. Regardless of whether a person is consciously or subconsciously aware of the feeling, our emotions are often overpowered by violence, hatred, and aggression. Much has been studied and said about the primitive negative fantasies of a child that later stems itself in the form of anger and aggression. In a modern-day world, it is crucial to managing one s anger by allowing positivity to take control and purge out the negative emotion.

Why is anger management crucial?
If one is not able to manage their anger, it can affect one s mental health while directly hampering professional and personal relationships. Anger management is a must for people who are not able to exercise control over their temper and allow this emotion to take control over their lives. Lack of anger management is one of the root problems in most urban countries including India. Steps should be taken to reduce its effects for so that there is an overall benefit for an individual and society at large.

How to manage anger?
Anger management is meant to help people control their anger practically while boosting the physical and mental wellness of the affected person.

Here are six effective tips to manage anger-

One should not pressurize oneself to be perfect. You should expect others to do their job well while avoiding anger and frustration in case there is any underperformance or failure in living up to the specified standards.
If one has gone through a traumatic past, it is important to confide in someone rather than sulking or brooding over it.
It is important to provide quality time for oneself so that one can derive pleasure and happiness and therefore be surrounded by a positive emotion.
One must try to handle the situation diplomatically rather than getting angry and allowing the situation to go out of hand.
The age-old remedy of counting backwards plays a commendable role in this regard. You should allow yourself some time to regain the composure and not lose the temper completely. Developing a positive outlook towards people and situations offers a new perspective on life and can save the day.
Expression of anger need not always be violent; you can choose to be quiet or avoid a particular situation if possible. This can save your relationships as well.
Both anger and stress are co-related, and their management also works in similar ways. This may be attributed to the fact that both these emotions comprise of similar constituents and can affect any person in detrimental ways. Prolonged stress and anger can take a toll on both emotional and physical health and therefore, it is necessary to control them and reduce its impact.

6 Effective Tips For Better Anger Management!

Becoming a parent is one of the greatest joys in life. It is a magical feeling to hold your child in your arms for the first time. However, as your child grows up, you will notice certain behavioural changes that can be difficult to control or withstand. Temper tantrums are common in children. A child uses tantrums to vent frustration and anger, which he/she feels toward a person or a situation.

While such temper tantrums may lead you to lose your temper, remember that children do not have the same emotional maturity as that of an adult. Therefore, rather than being strict to your child, here are some ways to deal with temper tantrums.

1. Don t try to calm your child: Temper tantrums are often attention seeking in nature. Therefore, you will make it worse if you try too hard to calm your child while he/she is throwing such a tantrum. Instead, choose to ignore the behaviour and go about doing your job. However, keep an eye out to check that your child does not do anything to harm himself/herself or others during this time. You should also verbally clarify that such behaviour is not acceptable.

2. Speak softly but with resolve: Many parents seem to think that shouting at their kids helps against temper tantrums. It does not. In fact, the more your child shouts, the more softly you should interact with them. When you shout you give your child the opportunity to shout - they do this so that they can be heard. Instead, be stern. Sometimes offering a choice can help your child feel as if he/she is in control of the situation.

3. Empathize with your child: Seeing the world from your toddler s perspective is no easy task. This is why parents often think that a temper tantrum is meaningless. However, in most cases, a child s temper tantrum is rooted in the inability to perform a task or articulate his/her wishes. As a parent, you need to devise alternate forms of communication with your child, so that he/she can express feelings better.

4. Give them some space: Rather than scolding your child for throwing a tantrum, let him/her express their frustration. This is similar to the concept of adults venting undesirable feelings. However, tell your kids to express frustration in a non-destructive way. This approach helps your child become emotionally stronger, as they learn to deal with sadness and anger in their own way, without requiring support from elders.

You need to understand that all children throw temper tantrums at one time or another. How you handle the situation determines how your child will deal with frustration and sorrow in later parts of their life.

Parenting Tips To Tackle Temper Tantrums In Children!

Paranoid personality disorder (ppd) is a mental disorder which makes you feel fearful, nervous and suspicious about people or situations around. This disease usually starts to show its signs from early adulthood and is more common in men than women. People suffering from this disorder are unable to maintain close and long lasting relationships with people as they have the habit of blaming and not trusting other people. The most common symptoms of this disorder are:


	Doubting the loyalty of others
	Fear of revealing their own personal information
	A tendency of holding long lasting grudges
	Inability to handle criticisms
	Abrupt instances of anger and instant reaction
	Showing traits of coldness in a relationship
	Having a feeling of always being right
	Having problems in relaxing
	Being stubborn, argumentative and hostile



	Causes: the exact cause behind pdd is still unknown, but according to some medical researchers it happens due to a combination of biological and psychological conditions. Additionally, bad emotional experiences during childhood and having gone through a physical or mental trauma also leads to the development of the disease.
	Diagnosis:&nbsp;this condition cannot be diagnosed at home and is usually diagnosed by a specialist. The first step taken by a doctor in order to diagnose the disorder is an examination of the medical and psychiatric history of the person. Additionally, if the health records of a person do not indicate anything, then the doctors usually go for some expert opinions by a psychiatrist.
	Treatment:&nbsp;most of the people suffering from this disease are not even aware about it, until someone brings it to their notice. Doctors usually believe that psychotherapy, which is a form of counseling, is the best way to treat pdd.



All About Paranoid Personality Disorder

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