Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

Role of relationship problems in depression and suicides - 
Almost everyday we read about people ending their lives by committing suicides from celebrities to common man to even children . Although this is not permitted in any religion and there is a legal debate on whether it should be legalized, the fact remains that people are driven towards this unfortunate step. Let's take a look at the common reasons for suicides to become so very common.

1) Lack of intimacy- We see that although we are surrounded by people most of people are having friends only on Facebook. Even among the people we interact everyday nobody wants to open up with anyone or allow you to open up with them.The fact that you are surrounded by people who don't share themselves with you intimately starts pulling your mind downwards. Work colleagues are bothered only about work, family is only bothered about the income you are generating, partners are obsessed with how much you can spend on them, friends are occupied with what benefits you can share with them. Therefore all in all, despite having all relationships, people feel left out and alone like as if their inner self has been left unwanted and uncared of. The monotony of mechanical life hastens the culmination of this abuse into drastic steps like suicide.

2) High demands- People are often left to fend with high demands from them from their social circle. Many people cannot attempt this and some who attempt are not able to make it. This leaves them with a feeling of failure which is often frowned and looked down upon whether it is a student or a professional. It is no surprise that today even below 10 years olds are successfully attempting suicides.

3) Inappropriate planning- Planning is a key necessity for successful results whether it is financial or relationships. but unfortunately many people are unable to obtain the correct know how which will enable to implement their plans successfully.

4) Inability to cope- Many people plan to do things but are unable to cope with the harsh realities that come with the plans. To some it may be unseen to some unbearable. So although they set out on doing something the journey is not what they had expected.

5) Lack of results- Sometimes although everything is planned well, executed well and completed well it does not fetch us the rewards that may seem appropriate to the level of efforts. This is something that is very difficult to deal for most people and is a result of many unfortunate casualties.

6) Lack of desire-It is very important to have something to look forward to in life. But unfortunately in an age where drinking water and using the toilet cost s money many people cannot think of having something to look forward to and hence this unfortunate step.

Therefore, you have to be very prudent in what we are doing today because we can never predict which way our lives may go and even importantly which way you may yourself go based purely on circumstances beyond our control dependent on the choices we make today or others make for us. Although suicide is not a sensible solution to any problem it does remain a common reality. If you are feeling suicidal please remember to seek help.

Please feel free to consult me privately for further assistance.

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Health Tip - Role of Relationship Problems in Depression and Suicides

Did you know that almost all of your nerves converge in your feet and that your foot is the most sensitive part of the human body? Did you also know that if there are any complications to your body, then the feet can show the symptoms indirectly? Science has time and again proved this and it is high time that you give the adequate care for your feet.

This is nowhere explained better than in ancient Ayurveda, where it emphasises the importance of foot massage and the need to strengthen the nerves. Ayurveda has a long traditional foot massage therapy called as  Padabhyanga  which can be traced back to more than 5000 years. The foot massage with essential oils would improve blood and lymphatic circulation, nourishes the skin, and calms the restless mind.

Foot massaging can relax the muscles of the feet and legs, it can also help in relieving stress and anxiety. Just like how the tree gets their nourishment from their roots, channelling a proper foot massage can rejuvenate the entire mind and body.  Let us look at in detail.

What is Padabhyanga?

The word Padabhyanga comes from the two Sanskrit words  Pada+abhyanga   Pada  means foot and  Abhyanga  means massage. It is one of the most calming and soothing massage therapy and can keep your mind and soul revitalised if done in a proper way. Participating in this massage therapy daily can allow you to release the clogged energies.

3 Types of Padabhyanga Massage:

The massage can be segregated into three different types as detailed below.

Padabhyanga with hand: This type of massage is the fundamental form of massage and is basically done by your hand in the rubbing and stroking of foot. The heat is generated by it and the cardiovascular circulation gets activated. The massage uses sesame seed oil generally and in some cases even herbal infused oil is also used for a better cure.
Padabhyanga with kasa bowl: In this type of massage, a Kasa bowls with oil coating are wormed. Then the bowl s round surfaces are used to massage the foot and sole in a circular motion. The kasa bowls are generally made of copper and tin. Massaging in such a manner can eliminate toxins and it can also release negative energies from your body.
Padabhyanga marma therapy: This type of therapy is very similar to acupuncture, where the pressure points of your feet are activated. These are called as marma points and special care is taken to make sure that these marma points are activated by pressing them over a small period of time. The therapy releases negative energy and relaxes your mind with rejuvenation.

Foot Massage - How It Can Help Relieve Stress?

Aphasia is a communication disability that can result from damage or injury to those parts of the brain that process language. It can happen due to stroke, brain tumors, accidents, or brain infection. A brain injury which damages parts of the brain that deal with language can also bring on Aphasia. Aphasia can also be caused by dementia such as Alzheimer s disease. Aphasia is sometimes also a symptom of epilepsy or other neurological disorders.

It s more common in older adults, especially after a stroke. What happens in Aphasia is that the affected person is unable to understand or use words. He or she may also:

Have difficulty speaking and finding the "right" words to express themselves verbally
Have problems understanding conversation
Have problems reading and comprehending written words
Have problems writing words
Is unable to calculate or use numbers
Has a tendency to use gibberish words as a part of speech
There are various types of Aphasia, differing in certain important ways from each other.
Aphasia can also be mild or severe. With mild Aphasia, the patient is able to converse, though he may not be able to find the right word or may not understand complex conversations.
However, in severe Aphasia, a person may lose his ability to communicate completely which means he can t speak or understand any conversation and may also not be able to read or write.

Three things that aid Aphasia recovery are

Speech Therapy
Family Support
Persistence
Treatment for Aphasia depends on factors like:

Age
Cause of brain injury which causes Aphasia
Type of Aphasia
Position and size of the brain lesion causing Aphasia
If the Aphasia is due to a brain tumor, surgery to remove the tumor affecting the language centre can treat Aphasia.
For a person who s got Aphasia due to a stroke, sessions with a speech-language specialist are very effective. The therapist teaches the patient ways to communicate using stuff that doesn t involve speech.
He uses the following to help the patient communicate without words:

Props
Drawings and pictures
Teaching patient to speak slowly and be calm when talking.
Treatment techniques
The speech therapist uses these two main techniques to tackle Aphasia:

Substitute skill model: This uses a prop like a writing board to help with spoken language.
Direct treatment model: This approach uses specific exercises to help patients
Copy and recall therapy (CART): This approach uses repetition and recall of certain words during speech therapy.
Visual communication therapy (VIC): This involves the use of index cards to represent various components of speech.
In addition, Aphasia patients are also trained in the use of hand gestures to aid in communication as a part of  Visual Action Therapy (VAT) .

Aphasia - Factors That Put You At Risk!

Vertebroplasty means shaping the backbone i.e. vertebra for backbone and plasty is related to shape. This is an outpatient procedure done to treat compression fractures of the spinal cord. The backbone is made up of multiple small bones which are stacked one on top of the other with a filling material in between that is known as vertebrae. The stack of bones are held in place by the soft, elastic vertebral material. 

Vertebroplasty & similar procedure called kyphoplasty is a non-surgical procedure where collapsed vertebrae is brought back to shape by injecting medical bone cement under fluroscopy / image intensifier in OT, thereby relieving pressure on the spinal cord or spinal nerves with special canula directed to the core of vertebral body. Indicated in osteoporotic vertebrae, spinal fracture, metastatic tumour or primary tumour of spine. This technique has replaced major surgery done earlier to reshape & fix vertabrae.

Technique: Bone cement, in a semisolid state, is injected into the weakened or fractured bone space. Once this solidifies, it provides additional support to the spine, enabling normal movement. It also helps in reducing the pain significantly and improves the overall mobility.

Procedure:

In what takes about an hour, the following steps are done. Earlier, a few decades ago, this would be an open surgical procedure. However, with advance technology, now it is done using a small incision

Local anesthesia is given in the area that needs to be operated
A biopsy needle is inserted into the fractured space with the help of an X-ray
The acrylic bone cement is injected into the bone space with a needle to fill up the space, once it solidifies, it stabilizes the vertebral space
The needle is removed and the incision is covered with a bandage
Usually the patient is sent home in an hour s time unless the overall condition is really bad
There could be some soreness at the site where injection is given, but one can notice a significant reduction in pain from the day of the procedure
There is also improvement in mobility while doing daily chores
The pain relief can last up to 3 years after the procedure
Returning back to normal activities takes about 3 to 4 days after the procedure
When to use this procedure?

Vertebroplasty is usually done in case of non-radicular pain that is intractable. In most cases, they do not respond to traditional therapies including physiotherapy, pain medications and even surgery. The pain could be due to:

Osteoporosis
Cancer metastasis
Myeloma
Spinal hemangiomas
Traumatic fractures
Benefits of using vertebroplasty for managing pain 

Minimally invasive
Effective way to get relief
Improves mobility
Cost-effective
Reduces need for long-term use of painkillers
Stabilizes the spine and prevents further collapse

Vertebroplasty - How It Can Help Manage Pain?

Smoking is a die hard habit and many people eventually die of the same. It remains one of the most common causes of cancer and lung diseases, which eventually lead to death. The irony is that almost all smokers know the harmful effects, but find it hard to quit. With a firm determination, there are people who quit, but then the relapse rate is quite high too.
Many believe that quitting requires a behavioural change. From peer pressure to a lifestyle habit, smoking is a social phenomenon. There are various methods to help quit smoking like quitting cold turkey and nicotine substitutes. Hypnosis is also gaining popularity as a method to help quit smoking. Research has shown an encouraging success rate in the range of 30 to 40% in cases where the desire and commitment to quit are high. This of course is with people who have strong will and are able to be hypnotized.
Hypnosis or hypnotherapy is a psychological technique used as supplemental therapy in a lot of cases, such as weight loss, depression, speech disorders, pain management, de-addiction; the list can be quite long.  It puts the person undergoing therapy into a deep sleep or trance, where they get in touch with themselves and find answers to a lot of questions. It is believed that while hypnosis puts a person to sleep, it also induces a higher level of cognition and a higher level of neurological activity. 
'During the actual session, the smoker is asked to imagine the numerous ill effects of smoking and the need to reduce its harmful effects on the body. This improves the willpower to quit smoking and reduces the desire. They are also advised of the benefits of quitting smoking, including longevity of life and better quality of life. The person is told that quitting smoking before 50 years of age gives a 50% chance of increasing the lifespan by 15 years. Now that is quite motivating for a lot of smokers to give up the habit.
It generally takes about 4 full sessions of hypnotherapy to reach a level where the patient is ready to kick the habits. Also, self hypnosis can be taught where the person can go into hypnosis on his own and enforce smoking cessation. There are even self hypnosis tapes that are available for aid.
However, a word of caution here, hypnosis is not for everybody as not everybody can be hypnotized easily and there has to be a strong belief that it will benefit, only then can smoking cessation be tried with hypnosis. It is still in the testing phase and is to be medically proven as a way to quit smoking.

Hypnotherapy In Smoking Cessation

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