Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

Memory lapses aren t exclusive to old-age which is why it is necessary to keep your mind sharp across all ages. The cognitive skill, memory, can be affected by various factors such as lack of sleep, hypertension, substance abuse etc. Here are a few tips which will help you keep your mind sharp:

Take Frequent Breaks: If you work for long hours at a stretch without taking a break, you run a risk of putting excessive strain on your brain which slows down its reflexes. Giving the brain a break once a while is a good idea and during a  brain break , you could engage in mentally stimulating activities such as playing Sudoku or puzzles.

Repeat To Learn Better: If you want to remember a crucial piece of information, it is advisable that you repeat that particular piece of information more than twice for a more comprehensive understanding. This tip would be even more effective if you read out aloud the information which needs to be remembered for uninterrupted concentration and comprehension.

Learn To Play An Instrument: Learn to play a musical instrument and regularly practice it as music stimulates the cells in your brain. Studies have shown a strong connection between relaxing forms of music such as instrumental or Celtic music and the motor areas of the brain which are linked to the learning and cognitive spaces. This happens because music triggers the  feel good  neurotransmitter in your brain.

Dietary Changes: Incorporate more nutritious items to your diet such as fresh fruits and vegetables as they are rich in fibre and vitamins which keep the brain and body healthy. Adding fish oil or fatty fishes such as salmon and trout is a must because they are rich in Omega-3 acids which help your brain retain information for a longer period.

Over-indulging in junk food can cause your brain to slow down while extreme crash-diets can cause lethargy in the cognitive areas of your brain. Hence, you should aim to balance your meals.

Forgetting Things - Keep Your Mind Sharp With These Tips

Marriages very well might be bonds made in heaven, but for all practical reasons, they remain enacted on earth. When two different people meet, it s the union of two different mind-cultures too. It contains two diverse goals, two different habits of living, dissimilar aspirations & overall different priorities, that needs to be fused to restart a new common journey.

"To know themselves in order to discover the other  is the key here. Most relationships will get strained at some time, resulting in a failure to function optimally and produce self-reinforcing, maladaptive patterns. These patterns may be called "negative interaction cycles".

There are many possible reasons for this, including insecure attachment, ego, arrogance, jealousy, anger, greed, poor communication/understanding or problem-solving, ill health, third parties and so on. Changes in situations like financial state, physical health, and the influence of other family members can have a profound influence on the conduct, responses, and actions of the individuals in a relationship. Marriages require the maximum efforts from both the individuals.

Given the growing concept of individualism and personal independence, people fail to put in or sometimes understand the requirement of working towards their marriage, leaving them searching for an escape route as soon as the going gets tough. Marital issues may lead to major individual psychological problems with each partner trying to hurt the other emotionally as the relationship gets bitter.

Consequently, divorce rates in this country have shown a considerable increase in the past decade. This article should help you figure out some of the ways to save and improve the bond that is marriage while keeping the importance of individualism and personal space in mind-

Teamwork: It is essential for both the individuals to work towards their marriage and show equal commitment. With only one person trying to build a better relationship while the other one shows minimal effort and goes astray reduces the sense of belongingness; eventually leading to estrangement.

Take Responsibility: Apologize when it s your mistake and take responsibility for your actions, instead of going around in a continuous loop of the blame game.

Keep the Spark Alive: Take out time for each other whenever possible. A simple date night once in a while or a weekend getaway with undivided attention to the partner helps to keep the romance alive in long term relationships which more often than not fades away with time, without effort from the partners.

Appreciate: Appreciating the partner s efforts are probably the most important factor in any marriage. It avoids the individual feeling as though he/she has been taken for granted; which is the root cause of most marital problems.

Therapy: Marital therapy is usually beneficial when people are unable to deal with their differences within the marriage. Through marital counselling, you can make thoughtful decisions about rebuilding and strengthening your relationship or going your separate ways. The therapist can help with many specific issues, including communication problems, sexual difficulties, conflicts about child rearing, intrusion from extended family, substance abuse, anger, and infidelity.

Marriage counselling might also be helpful in cases of domestic abuse. In a collectivist society like ours, family therapy is usually used because the families of both partners play a major role in their lives. Family therapy is a type of psychological counselling (psychotherapy) that can help family members improve communication and resolve conflicts.

Marriage - How To Strengthen It?

One of the common ailments in the elderly people is the Parkinson s. A progressive disorder, when left untreated, results in worsening of the symptoms. Hence, it is essential to understand the treatment options available to manage the condition effectively. You may be suggested surgical therapies if medication is not effective enough to treat the symptoms.

Surgical treatment options can be beneficial for patients who are suffering from symptoms, but they do not help with treating the disease. In the past, surgical methods like Thalamotomy and Pallidotomy were used to destroy brain cells that contributed to the symptoms. While these methods are still used, they are very rare and situational.

Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS), an FDA-approved procedure, has become much more popular as it is much safer and does not involve invasive surgery. Instead of destroying brain cells like traditional methods, DBS involves sending electric pulses to the affected brain cells to reduce the symptoms. It is not a treatment procedure, but a means of bringing down the severity of Parkinson s to allow better and more comfortable treatment.

Deep Brain Simulation   Who are the right candidates?
Deep Brain Simulation is commonly used for Parkinson  s disease, but it is not recommended for everyone. It is a preferred method of treatment for people who have had Parkinson s for at least four years but have complications which include long periods of time where medications do not work, or symptoms return, uncontrolled and involuntary movements or the freezing/stiffness in the body.

Deep Brain Simulation is not recommended for those who have Dementia as it can lead to memory problems. The general rule of thumb that neurosurgeons follow is that Deep Brain Simulation can help with symptoms that do not get better with medication. DBS can help reduce medication requirements for patients as well as reduce the side effects that may occur due to medication.

Disorder specialists and neurosurgeons can conduct tests to determine if DBS is going to be effective for a patient before going ahead with such a procedure. An extensive assessment is necessary to understand the symptoms, the effect of Parkinson's drugs and also brain imaging is done. All of the expected benefits are then evaluated for the patients, and if the procedure can help alleviate the symptoms, DBS is given a green signal by neurosurgeons and patients can undergo the procedure.

How Does Deep Brain Simulation Work?
Deep Brain Simulation is a very complex procedure. Brain cells communicate with the rest of the body through electric signal, and these become irregular and do not work properly when affected by Parkinson's. DBS smoothens the functioning of these brain cells and reduces symptoms through electric pulses through the implantation of a medical device known as neurostimulator which is also referred as brain pacemaker.

But, as with any treatment procedure, DBS has potential risks and side effects, hence discuss with neurosurgeon thoroughly to access the suitability.

Adopting Deep Brain Stimulation For Parkinson's disease

We all have those days when we seem to have hit an all time low. We feel bad, sad, mad, and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. However, this is a temporary, passing phase for most of us. But for people with depression, this is not the case.

Chronic depression, which is more common in women than men, can arise due to different reasons. Major life changes, marital issues, relationship issues, financial problems, chronic medical problems, death of loved ones, life stressors, weather changes, etc. can lead to depression.

This leads to prolonged periods of sadness, feeling of emptiness, loss of interest in activities which were normally pleasurable, irritability, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, weight gain, worthless and hopeless feeling, and feeling of doom. This can result in dejection, social withdrawal, poor performance at work/school, and an overall declining quality of life.

In most cases, there is usually a past, unpleasant experience which leads to depression. This could be different for different people, depending on their tolerance. While some may go into depression over minor relationship issues, for others, it could be as severe as sexual abuse in the past.

Ayurveda recognizes  sadhaka agni  as a fire that helps a person to digest trauma. People with a strong sadhaka agni have a higher tolerance and take more time to get depressed compared to people who have a weak fire in them.

The following are some simple changes that can be very useful in overcoming depression.

Meditate for about 20 minutes every day.
Realize and practice detachment. Most people with depression have a loss of something they were closely attached to. Realizing that nothing in life is permanent and letting it go will play a major role in feeling better.
Get a sound, restful sleep. Stick to a routine by going to bed and getting up at the same time every day.
Walk out in the sun and get a good dose of sunlight. Add exercise to sun exposure to feel elated and upbeat about life in general.
Exercises such as yoga, walking, and cycling also are useful in improving overall balance and health. A healthy and fitter body definitely leaves one in a better mood.
Eat healthy food. Avoid packaged, canned, and processed food. Include a lot of nuts and seeds in your diet, be it roasted or soaked.
Try mood uplifting food items like black pepper, dry ginger, turmeric, amla, cloves, and cardamom.
Herbs like ashwagandha, shatavari, brahmi are highly useful in curing depression. They also treat fluid balance, govern energy and creativity in the body, improve metabolism, and clear toxins.
Ayurveda believes in not just making one feel better, but improving his/her overall well-being by getting to the root of the issue.

Depression - 8 Steps To Help You Get Rid Of It!

Many live with certain disorders without being aware of it. It is possible that someone close to you is living with OCD, and knowing the symptoms is crucial to diagnose the problem accurately and the treatment can be started as early as possible. 

OCD or the obsessive-compulsive disorder refers to excessive thoughts leading to repetitive behavior or erratic personal behavior. This long-lasting and chronic mental disorder induces recurring and uncontrollable thoughts in a person. These types of behavior are medically referred to as  obsessions' and  compulsions'.

Patients suffering from the disorder feel a strong urge to repeat certain actions over and over again. These actions may include compulsive cleaning of the immediate domestic environment, washing hands or clothes, checking on things, etc. These behavior patterns may lead to severe disruptions in the daily life of the affected individuals.

How do you know if you have OCD?
Some of the common symptoms of obsession are fear of dirt or physical  contamination , a constant urge to properly arrange or re-arrange domestic objects, having aggressive and sexual thoughts, harboring a desire to harm oneself or others, etc. Common examples of such thoughts include an irrational fear of physical  contamination , feeling depressed at the sight of a lack of symmetry, thinking about acting inappropriately, shouting obscenities, etc.

Some of the common symptoms of OCD include repeatedly washing hands, compulsive counting, checking again and again on certain things, etc. For instance, patients may frequently check whether doors and windows have been secured inside an apartment, or whether the oven is switched on or switched off, etc.

What can influence such behavior?
OCD is an outcome of imperfect brain structure or specific chemical abnormalities in the brain. Genetics is also a possible causative factor. No one single reason is found as the main cause of this psychological disorder. Therefore, the exact reason behind this mental disorder eludes science till date. Many studies indicate that environmental factors may trigger this mental condition. For example, sexual or physical abuse in childhood or infections like streptococcal can trigger the subsequent development of OCD.

How can OCD be managed?
OCD can be treated with psychotherapy, medication, and a combination of both. The ideal treatment is determined by the condition of the patient and to which mode of treatment he or she is most responsive. When opting for antipsychotic medication, one needs to discuss this with his or her doctor to understand the benefits and side effects before commencing the medication. When it comes to treating the children or the adults, psychotherapy offers the most effective results.

Patients and their caregivers must realize that OCD does not have a surefire cure. Therefore, it may last for years or sometimes even a lifetime. However, proper psychological evaluation, therapies, and treatment should prevent the condition from worsening. These interventions help in controlling and managing the symptoms to ensure a long normal life. Patients are advised to visit a psychologist in case they identify any signs of OCD because early detection is the first step to effective treatment.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - What Can Influence Such A Behaviour?

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