Marriages very well might be bonds made in heaven, but for all practical reasons, they remain enacted on earth. When two different people meet, it s the union of two different mind-cultures too. It contains two diverse goals, two different habits of living, dissimilar aspirations & overall different priorities, that needs to be fused to restart a new common journey.

"To know themselves in order to discover the other  is the key here. Most relationships will get strained at some time, resulting in a failure to function optimally and produce self-reinforcing, maladaptive patterns. These patterns may be called "negative interaction cycles".

There are many possible reasons for this, including insecure attachment, ego, arrogance, jealousy, anger, greed, poor communication/understanding or problem-solving, ill health, third parties and so on. Changes in situations like financial state, physical health, and the influence of other family members can have a profound influence on the conduct, responses, and actions of the individuals in a relationship. Marriages require the maximum efforts from both the individuals.

Given the growing concept of individualism and personal independence, people fail to put in or sometimes understand the requirement of working towards their marriage, leaving them searching for an escape route as soon as the going gets tough. Marital issues may lead to major individual psychological problems with each partner trying to hurt the other emotionally as the relationship gets bitter.

Consequently, divorce rates in this country have shown a considerable increase in the past decade. This article should help you figure out some of the ways to save and improve the bond that is marriage while keeping the importance of individualism and personal space in mind-

Teamwork: It is essential for both the individuals to work towards their marriage and show equal commitment. With only one person trying to build a better relationship while the other one shows minimal effort and goes astray reduces the sense of belongingness; eventually leading to estrangement.

Take Responsibility: Apologize when it s your mistake and take responsibility for your actions, instead of going around in a continuous loop of the blame game.

Keep the Spark Alive: Take out time for each other whenever possible. A simple date night once in a while or a weekend getaway with undivided attention to the partner helps to keep the romance alive in long term relationships which more often than not fades away with time, without effort from the partners.

Appreciate: Appreciating the partner s efforts are probably the most important factor in any marriage. It avoids the individual feeling as though he/she has been taken for granted; which is the root cause of most marital problems.

Therapy: Marital therapy is usually beneficial when people are unable to deal with their differences within the marriage. Through marital counselling, you can make thoughtful decisions about rebuilding and strengthening your relationship or going your separate ways. The therapist can help with many specific issues, including communication problems, sexual difficulties, conflicts about child rearing, intrusion from extended family, substance abuse, anger, and infidelity.

Marriage counselling might also be helpful in cases of domestic abuse. In a collectivist society like ours, family therapy is usually used because the families of both partners play a major role in their lives. Family therapy is a type of psychological counselling (psychotherapy) that can help family members improve communication and resolve conflicts.

Marriage - How To Strengthen It?

Grief is a complex emotion that may give you side effects like guilt and make you struggle as you try to get through your everyday life. It is usually caused by some loss in life which may have to do with relationships, work or any other reason like a chronic physical ailment or disability. Complicated grief disorder is a condition where the extreme level of grief impairs a person and how he or she behaves in his or her daily life. It can have a debilitating effect and make a person helpless when it comes to dealing with everyday functions. It may continue for more than six months after the loss, and may even lead to depression and anxiety, among other complications.

Let us cast a glance of how this may be dealt with.

Psychotherapy: Cognitive-behavioral therapy and other forms of therapy can often help people who are suffering from this form of prolonged grief. With this kind of therapy, a patient can actually find an outlet to discuss the various emotions that the bereavement has brought on, and how he or she is not able to cope. The therapist, in this case, is usually a psychiatrist or a psychologist, who can then help in reprogramming the attitude of the patient so as to curb the grief and move on with life by embracing daily functions.
Group Therapy: In many cases, group therapy may also work. It is a natural human tendency to be grateful for what we have when we get to hear of higher and greater adversities. And when we see people suffering from those adversities actually taking steps to get over it, we can also get hugely motivated to do the same with our own lives. This is why group therapy is a powerful mechanism that many doctors and psychiatrists recommend for dealing with complicated grief therapy. This does not even need to be a formal therapy session. It can even be a club or a get together of people who have been through a similar problem.
Medication: In some extreme cases, the patients may be prescribed some antidepressants as well as beta blockers that can put their emotions right until they can deal with them in a better manner. Such medicines also help in numbing that part of the brain so that the patient may function in a more normal manner. Yet, care must be taken that the patient does not get addicted to such kind of medication.
Change of Focus: Travelling or picking up a new hobby can also have a positive effect on the person suffering from this condition. It can help in triggering the production of dormant hormones in a more normal way so that the patient may function in a more normal way, without the debilitating grief.


How To Deal With Complicated Grief Disorder?

We all have mood swings, but not all mood swings have the same intensity. People who have extreme mood swings ranging from depression to manic highs are said to be suffering from bipolar disorder. These extreme moods are known as episodes and usually last for a few days of even a few weeks at a time. A person suffering from bipolar disorder could have an episode several times a year. This is a very common psychological problem and can affect both children and adults. Though it cannot be cured, this disease can be managed with medication.

There are no known causes for bipolar disorder but genetics may play an important role in triggering this disorder. Hence, if a parent or sibling suffers from this condition, you have a risk of developing it as well. An imbalance in the neurotransmitters in the brain may also play a part in the development of this condition. Stress or traumatic events like the loss of a loved one can also increase your risk of suffering from this condition.
Given that mood swings affect almost each one of us, bipolar disorder can be difficult to diagnose. Some of the things to look out for are:

Change in self-esteem
Unusual talkativeness or quietness
Being increasingly prone to distractions
Decreased need for sleep
Agitation
Recklessness in terms of spending decisions, relationships etc
It must be kept in mind that a person must display at least 4 of the above symptoms simultaneously to be diagnosed as bipolar. Also, none of these symptoms should be a result or side effect of any kind of medication, drugs, alcohol or other intoxicants.

There are four main types of bipolar disorder.

Bipolar I: In such cases, the person has at least one episode of elevated moods and associated abnormal behaviour in his or her life. This may be preceded or followed by depressive episodes.
Bipolar II: In these cases, the person must have suffered from at least one depressive episode. It is very similar to bipolar I except that in bipolar II the highs never reach the manic stage.
Rapid Cycling: Some people can have 4 or more manic and depressive episodes a year. In such cases, they are said to be rapid cycling. This condition affects 10-20% of bipolar cases.
Mixed Bipolar: Usually, bipolar patients show mood swings that alternate between manic and depressive moods. However, sometimes a person may experience both elation and depression simultaneously or in rapid succession of each other. These cases are known as mixed bipolar.
Once diagnosed, bipolar disorder can be managed with a combination of medication and psychotherapy. In some cases, electroconvulsive therapy may also be needed. 

Bipolar Disorder - Things You Must Know!


7 CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTIONALLY STRONG PEOPLE

Emotionally strong people are better able to manage the stresses and distresses of daily life, and recover more quickly from challenges and crises when they arise. Is your emotional engine strong enough to take you through the ups and downs of life? Are you riding a bullock cart which can topple over anytime you pass through a broken road or are you driving a four wheel, all terrain vehicle, which will ensure you a safe trip through all the rocky terrains of your life?

A common cultural belief is that people who don’t cry and are unemotional, detached are the emotionally strong ones...and the ones who cry easily and exhibit emotional turmoil are the weaker ones. Well, this is just a myth and not an accurate indicator of one’s mental and emotional strength. A person’s internal coping mechanism will determine how strong he/she is emotionally and deal with challenges and bounce back from them. For eg. Two investors invest in a startup company and watch it fail after 5 years of hard work...one cries copious tears and falls apart, the other controls his emotions but feels defeated. Both were not emotionally strong as they couldn’t sustain the pressure and crumbled. It would have been fine if they felt sad and worried over the loss of time, resources and money and then bounced back with fresh ideas and renewed energy, which would have shown their capability to bounce back from difficult situations.

Unfortunately, too many of us judge ourselves incorrectly in exactly such moments. If we react emotionally or tearfully to emotionally challenging situations we scold ourselves for being weak, even when we have every intention of persisting and moving forward and even when we believe we will eventually succeed. Tears are usually a sign of frustration and disappointment, not defeat. What you believe about your future chances of success and how discouraged you feel in the long term is far more important than how often you cry in response to stresses and bad news.

The following list will help you decide how emotionally strong you are and where you need to work on yourself:

1) Emotionally strong people are less discouraged by setbacks and disappointments: they see each failure as an opportunity to learn and improvise over the last one. They compare themselves with themselves and define their own measures for failure and success. You could do an analysis of your strengths, limitations, opportunities and impediments in order to get over difficult situations. Geet, a student who didn’t get into his desired subject of IT, sat through 5 years of Law and did some extra courses in corporate law and worked towards fulfilling his dream of working in the Corporate. He felt confident, happy and satisfied with his efforts.

2) Emotionally strong people are more adaptable to change: they welcome and embrace changes in themselves and their environment simply because it brings newer opportunities and learning which can catapult them on their way to success. New boss, different stage of life, children going away are changes that will surely happen. Preparing for them in advance, can help people cope better with changes. When Surabhi got married, she took marital counselling to prepare for the differences that will crop up due to changes in the environment, thinking and attitudes of her inlaws family. She is a happy and successful wife and mother today.

3) Emotionally strong people are able to recognize and express their needs: ability to acknowledge and express your needs is being genuine to yourself and an expression of self care. People who are self aware move faster on the ladder of success as they are devoted and passionate towards their goals and needs. Taking care of your health and exercising along with a professional career makes for an emotionally strong person. You can become aware of your needs and values in counselling and experience contentment and power as you take charge of your life.

4) Emotionally strong people focus on getting around a hurdle rather than on the hurdle itself: focussing on the hurdle can be very emotionally draining and demotivating. Emotionally strong people invest their energies in working through a problem and looking for viable solutions, which ensures their victory over stresses and strains. If you have lost money in business, then working on your sales and marketing skills could get you better gains rather than feeling defeated. Counselling can help you look at problems objectively and from different perspectives. Get in touch with your problem solving skills and feel motivated and accomplished again.

5) Emotionally strong people can learn from mistakes and criticism: who hasn’t been subjected to criticism or made some mistakes? It’s human to err. Working towards excellence rather than perfection and looking for the golden piece of advice in the strong criticism helps emotionally strong people win over situations and important relationships. Sarita, an intelligent and smart woman ignored the critical remarks of her mother in law because she knew that there is a lot to learn from her. She knew which battles to fight and which ones to let go of.

6) Emotionally strong people tend to see the larger perspective in a challenging situation: They don’t get weighed down by smaller defeats when they have the larger picture in mind. An emotionally strong employee, Martin, who experienced office politics, kept his cool and focussed on his work.

7) Emotionally strong people are able to recover more quickly from emotional wounds such as failure or rejection: nobody can reject you unless you give them the permission. Seeing each failure as an opportunity to grow and learn helps. Staying with what you can do differently next time and having fall back plans helps to reduce the impact of failure. Thomas Edison didn’t get deterred by the number of times he could make his bulb glow. He kept looking at different permutations and combinations and kept learning from each mistake. Finally, his bulb glowed and now we all can benefit from the fruits of his hard labour.

If you don’t find yourself scoring high on this list, then there is no need to worry because in personal counselling, you can build emotional strength and capacity to bounce back by working on your mindset and learning more adaptable responses to stresses of daily living.

7 characteristics of emotionally strong people

Asperger's syndrome has recently come under the umbrella of autism spectrum disorder. This syndrome usually affects the social skills of the patient, most heavily. The patient may seem normal and even intelligent at first glance. But on closer interaction, several social skill problems will come to the fore including an obsessive focus on certain topics and issues. Repetitive behaviour is also a part of this disease. Let us find out more about asperger's syndrome.

Symptoms: the symptoms usually begin to show up early on in one's childhood. The patient will not be able to make eye contact while speaking with others. Also, a perfectly normal person may seem inordinately shy and reserved during social interactions. This awkwardness may come to the fore in the form of looking for expression cues on other people's faces and even the body language. The patient may not be a very happy and lively soul, with hardly a smile to crack at the funniest of jokes. The lack of emotions or the emotionally numb state is also a major giveaway of the condition. Other symptoms may include a strong aversion towards change in food habits and routine.

Diagnosis: the diagnosis is usually done by mental health specialists like a developmental paediatrician, a psychiatrist, a psychologist or even a paediatric neurologist. These specialists can put the child through a variety of tests that will study the neurological health as well as the speech and emotional behaviour of the child.

Educating the parent: once the diagnosis has been done, the parents of the patient will have to appraised of the condition and its implications. The symptoms and treatment will have to be duly discussed even as the parents are put through training and therapy to learn techniques with which they can help the child in progressing along more normal lines. The therapy will also help the parents deal with the challenge of living with someone suffering from this condition.

Treatment: there are varied forms of treatment that aim at fixing the specific areas and symptoms that the patient is learning to live with. Social skills training, speech and language therapy, cbt or cognitive behavioural therapy and other forms of treatment can help the child overcome many symptoms that come from this condition.

In the course of the treatment, it is important for the child, parent and therapist concerned to realise that there is no single approach that can be applied to all patients suffering from asperger's syndrome. Individual care and therapy will be required for individual cases. At the same time, most of the skills will need to be repeated at home so that the child takes them more seriously.

What Is Asperger's Syndrome?

The human brain is a unique and intricate organ, which performs many functions both consciously and subconsciously. However, during the formation of the brain within the mother's womb, the slightest of changes can cause damage to it, which manifest in many forms after birth. One of the forms it may manifest in is Autism.

What is Autism?
Autism, sometimes also classified as part of the Autism Spectrum disorder or ASD is a disorder of brain development, which will affect a child's capability to interact socially, in communicating through verbal and nonverbal means as well as exhibit repetitive behaviors. Some severe cases of these behaviors may also result in self-harm as well. 

Other than this some other characteristics may be:
1. Major to minor difficulties in motor coordination
2. Intellectual disabilities
3. Attention problems
4. Gastrointestinal problems
5. Sleep related problems among others

How homeopathy can help
Conventional medicine is mostly used to treat some of the symptoms but is never used to cure or provide remedies for autism. A proper professional homeopath will be able to guide you to get the best results for your child and reduce all the problems of autism, if not outright cure it. Some of the medications that could be used to treat autism are as follows:

1. Carcinosin - This is very helpful in children affected by autism who are talented, but are obsessive, compulsive, stubborn and also have sleep related issues. These children may also have addictive disorders.

2. Agaricus - This medication is very good for children who may be mentally and physically awkward and show symptoms like indifference, muttering, talking, shouting or singing but not answering to direct calls or questions. Agaricus is very effective for children who suffer from involuntary jerking when they are awake.

3. Cuprum Metallicum - This works wonders when the child is being very obsessive, angry and is inflexible, tense and is very aggressive towards their parents. Some of these children may even exhibit malicious behaviors and are usually averse to touch or being approached. 

4. Androctonus - A child or a patient who tends to swing wildly from a stable good mood to a destructive mode can be calmed down or evened out by Androctonus. These children also exhibit behaviors of suspiciousness and quickness to act on their compulsion. 

5. Helleborus - This is a very effective medication when the child is slow and under active and seems to be depressed most of the time. Some of these children may also have muscular weakness and helleborus is very effective in treating them.

These are only a few examples of how homeopathy can provide remedies for your autistic child and thus is an effective solution. However, you may need to consult a homeopathic doctor who can tailor make doses and medications after diagnosing the specific symptoms that you child may be having.

Homeopathic Medicine for Autism in Child

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