Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding and not a binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on how you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And, failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticise and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn't! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don't happen your way but have you tried to 'express' your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships results in frustration, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the 'progress' in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not up to it. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A 'No' from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don't want to do that right now! Feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you're taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C's : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using 'I feel' statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you're taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Have an open mind. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that...) 'Gunnysacking; (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in 'Summarizing self-syndrome' where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other's perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on 'Catastrophizing' i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
Get rid of 'Stereotyping'; (generalizing - all men are like..) and 'Gunnysacking' (cropping up issues from the past having no relevance to current problem).
Don't send double messages- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it is open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner's perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to well-being as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

Are You Happily (n)Ever After?

According to most experts, depression and diabetes have been intricately connected in a vicious cycle. While the prolonged and sustaining nature of diabetes directly makes one vulnerable to the bouts of depression, doctors tend to locate traces of depression in the family history of an individual in order to diagnose the roots of diabetes. It won't be too far-fetched to state that both causes as well as affects the other.

If you have diabetes, either type 1 or type 2, you have an increased risk of developing depression. And if you're depressed, you may have a greater chance of developing type 2 diabetes. The good news is that diabetes and depression can be treated together. And effectively managing one can have a positive effect on the other.

How diabetes and depression correlated? 
There are myriad ways in which diabetes affects depression and vice versa. 

Firstly, tackling such a long drawn disease and its various pitfalls might cause a lot of anxiety to one and lead to depression. Whereas on the other hand, depression reduces the zeal to live and thus results in poor lifestyle choices which in turn causes weight gain, unhealthy food habits, physical inactivity. As we are well aware, all these have the potential to wreak havoc for any patient of diabetes. 

Similarly, diabetes ushers in various other health complications, adversely impacting one's productivity. This may cause depression in a lot of people. 

On the flipside, depression impedes one's ability and enthusiasm to work or communicate, this in turn intervenes with one's monitoring of diabetes. Since these two extremely malevolent diseases have such close connections, medical science recommends ways to grapple with both. The rigors of managing diabetes can be stressful and lead to symptoms of depression.

Diabetes can cause complications and health problems that may worsen symptoms of depression.

Depression affects your ability to perform tasks, communicate and think clearly. This can interfere with your ability to successfully manage diabetes.

Treatment

Depression is just like any other illness, it can be treated. Treatment can lift the depression and improve diabetes control.

Looking after your diabetes will help decrease the risk of getting depression. If you already have depression, good diabetes management will help lessen the negative impacts it can have. Depression is no different to any of the other complication of diabetes. It is a genuine illness for which you need to seek help and support from health professionals.

The treatment for depression and diabetes involves a coordinated approach that monitors both diabetes control and the symptoms of depression. It is about finding the treatment that works best for each person. For example, people with diabetes and mild depression may find that regular physical activity improves depressed moods and also helps control blood glucose levels.

Helping yourself.

If you suspect you might have depression, take control of your health by:

Going to a doctor or other health professional
Getting involved in social activities
Engaging in regular moderate physical activity
Learning about depression and diabetes
Very particular about medicines prescribed for diabetes
Eating healthily and including a wide variety of nutritious foods
Achieving and maintaining healthy weight
Limiting your alcohol intake
Getting help, support and encouragement from family and friends
Asking your doctor to check your blood pressure, cholesterol and blood glucose levels.

Diabetes and Depression

Causes and symptoms of anorexia

Anorexia is a common eating disorder which is identified by abnormally low body weight, intense fear of gaining weight and a distorted perception of body weight. The problem is not only related to your dietary patterns but it also related to your mental state. People with this disorder are generally self-conscious, have a low self-esteem and are overly concerned about their external appearance.

Causes of anorexia

Biological factors - These factors represent that anorexia can be congenital or it may have developed over time. Congenital means that disorder is hereditary in nature and is passed on from the parents to the offspring. On the other hand, it may develop in people who are more sensitive and have an inclination towards perfection.
Psychological factors - Anorexia can also be caused due to certain specific personality traits and emotions that might be possessed by you. For instance, anorexia is more likely to happen to young women who are really worried and conscious out the way they look externally. Additionally, people who are either emotionally not too strong or suffer from anxiety issues can develop this disorder easily.
Environmental factors - The type of a cultural set up you are living in also plays an important role in developing this disorder. For instance, the western culture is all about slim and fit people, whereas the oriental countries are not so bothered about the same.

Symptoms of Anorexia

Emotional symptoms - This category of symptoms includes behaviors and a thought process aimed towards losing weight and minimizing your food intake. Some of the symptoms belonging to this type include:

Forceful vomiting to lose calories
Staying hungry
Excessive physical activity or exercise
Denial of hunger
Social withdrawal
Irritability
Depressed moods

Physical symptoms - These symptoms are self-explanatory and are clearly visible on the human body. These include:

Extreme weight loss
Thin appearance
Abnormal blood count
Fatigue
Insomnia
Dizziness or fainting
Discoloration of the fingers
Hair that thins, breaks or falls out
Soft, downy hair covering the body
Constipation
Low blood pressure



Causes and Symptoms of Anorexia

If someone in your family or your partner is suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, your mental health is at stake too. You will have to take care of yourself and your emotional needs first. Life can be frustrating for you all the time. But, you need to identify your  feel good  activities and take some time out of your daily life to relax and calm down. Remember, you can succeed in the critical task of appeasing or pleasing your dear one with BPD, only when you are at peace with yourself first. Destress yourself to fight back the depression or emotional drainage caused by handling a BPD patient.

Here are few things that can help you have a better life while being in a relationship with a person suffering from BPD:

1. Don t isolate yourself: You must be in touch with people you like to be with. You need emotional support from friends and family to deal with life. Spending some quality time with friends and family members can add little happiness to your life. It will boost up your energy level to fight back the dark side of life. You must remember that you have a life as well.

2. Take care of your health: Sometimes, relatives of BPD patients forget to take care of their physical health. They forget basic stuffs like having proper meals, exercising, etc just because they are caught-up in a stressful relationship. But, remember you can help your loved one better only when you are physically fit.

3. Manage stress: Don t get anxious or depressed with the ongoing stress in your life. It will only add to your existing problems. Keep your nerves cool to have a better life for yourself as well as your sweetheart with BPD.

4. Believe in the 3c s formula: Well, it is a formula recommended by most of the mental health practitioners. Don t blame yourself for the irrational behaviour of your friend or dear one. The patient with BPD is solely responsible for his or her destructive behaviour or abnormal outburst. You will have to remember these 3c s: I didn't cause it; I can't cure it; and I can't control it.

5. Careful communication: You have to be very careful while communicating with BPD patients. Don t argue or try to convince them, when they are already in a disturbed frame of mind or agitated. They might end up getting destructive. Listen to their words carefully and patiently. Occasional nodding in between a conversation is advisable to let them feel assured about the fact that they are being heard and understood.

Don t forget to acknowledge their feelings. It is also important that you stay calm when the patient is angry and has turned destructive.

How to Deal with a Person Suffering from Borderline Personality?

Autism spectrum disorders are a group of severe neurological and developmental disorders which begin in early childhood and can last throughout a person s life. It affects the ability to interact with others and also hinders communication and well as learning ability. A proper health center can diagnose the presence of autism spectrum disorder early on. Many tests are available for evaluation and diagnosis as it is a range of disorders which can have a variety of symptoms. The environment and genetics also play a role in the development of autism spectrum disorder but the exact cause of autism spectrum disorder is not yet known.

Symptoms of autism spectrum disorder:

Your child may not be able to respond when called by his or her name by 12 months age.
Will avoid eye contact and also have the desire to stay alone.
Have trouble understanding or relating to other people or talk about their own feelings.
Delayed speech and language skills which would affect the ability to speak.
Show unusual reaction to sound, smell, taste or feelings.
Answering questions with unrelated answers that have no meaning or link.
Prefer to play alone and would avoid physical contact.

Diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder:

Comprehensive Diagnostic Evaluation   The behavior of your child and development is first studied by the doctor in detail. The tests include genetic testing, neurological testing, hearing and vision testing among others. Doctors may also suggest other specialized tests in certain cases.
Developmental Screening   The development of your child s basic learning skills with respect to the age is checked. The doctor checks for some delays in the progress and will also monitor movement, behavior and speaking progress of the child. Some additional checks are also done for low birth weight, premature birth among other things.
Treatment:

Applied behavioral analysis   This is a notable treatment and widely accepted by doctors all over the world. ABA is known to encourage positive behaviors and improves a variety of skills in a child.
Occupational Therapy   Teaches the skills to live independently like eating, dressing and social skills. This can help people afflicted by autism spectrum disorders to lead a normal life within the society and thus relate to as well as interact with other people.
Speech therapy   It improves and focuses primarily on communication skills and also uses picture boards and gestures to improve the abilities and induce learning skills.

Autism Spectrum Disorder - How To Diagnose It?

Schizophrenia is a neurological disorder that affects an individual s ability to feel, think, or behave properly. Schizophrenia makes it hard for a person to tell reality from fantasy.

The symptoms of schizophrenia are:

  Hearing voices in the head
  Hallucinations
  Fearfulness
  The urge to withdraw from society and social activities
  Difficulty concentrating

Although one can control the symptoms of schizophrenia with antipsychotic drugs, therapy can drastically improve their quality of life. The therapy combines both counselling and medication. Several types of therapy can help a schizophrenic. The most commonly practised are:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

This is a kind of interactive therapy session, which works only if a collective relation between the therapist and the individual suffering from schizophrenia is established. It is about analyzing the problem and setting goals to overcome it.

  The therapist focuses on the psychotic elements of schizophrenia (illusions and hallucinations) and helps the schizophrenic separate delusions and reality. It starts simply with learning to de-stress. CBT includes behavioural experiments, reality tests, cognitive restructuring.

  The schizophrenic is taught to avoid being confrontational and not to fear the psychotic experiences. Therapy helps strike a balance between the two extremes of psychotic and non-psychotic experiences.



Art Therapy

Art Therapy acts as a unique medium of expression for a schizophrenic.

  A person suffering from schizophrenia often finds it difficult to express himself/herself. With the patient guidance of a therapist, the individual uses paint, clay or other materials to voice their thoughts, feelings and fears.

  Art therapy also incorporates music, poetry, drama (any art form that the schizophrenic is comfortable with). Art Therapy works in groups as well. Interacting in a group teaches social skills. Communicating with people suffering from similar problems helps them get a better perspective and reduces the symptoms associated with the condition.

Family Therapy

Families are often confused about how to deal with the symptoms of schizophrenia. Family therapy is about establishing a bond between the schizophrenic and his/her family.

  Most importantly, bonding with the family helps gives an emotional boost to the individual. Knowing that she/he has the family s love and support brings down hallucinatory episodes. Surveys suggest that family therapy helps improve the quality of life for a schizophrenic.

Therapy can help suppress the terrifying hallucinations and illusions and help a schizophrenic cope with his/her condition. However, at the end of the day, what a schizophrenic needs more than therapy and anti-psychotic drugs are your understanding and support.

Schizophrenia - Symptoms And Therapeutic Treatments Of It!

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