5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

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Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

Are you experiencing reduced libido along with intense dryness in your genitals? Loss of libido is a tough thing to cope with in women. In spite of having a great sex life, your vaginal area can become nonresponsive because of several reasons. You might not even know what is happening and the reasons which are causing the condition. These conditions are common in the menopause stage in women.

Reasons for decreased libido and vaginal dryness: 

1. Several changes occur in a woman s body during the menopause stage. The sex hormones, which include estrogen and progesterone start decreasing. This may lower your libido, cause vaginal dryness and affect your sex life to a great extent.

2. Testosterone is the sex hormone which turns you on or gets you into the mood for having sex. When the production of this hormone is insufficient, the urge for having sex gets affected and reaching an orgasm gets even harder.

3. The decrease in estrogen production causes several physical changes in a woman. The blood circulation to your sexual organs gets reduced, making you less sensitive to any kind of sexual stimulation. It also leads to vaginal dryness. The walls of the vagina also become thin due to which penetration may get painful.

Remedies for decreased libido

1. You should start practicing breathing exercises and do meditation for at least thirty minutes every day. This will enable you to eliminate stress, which is a primary trigger for decreased libido.

2. For balancing the estrogen levels, you should consume phytoestrogenic tea and supplements. Some important herbs which you should take include black cohosh, red clover and dong quai.

3. You should also consume aphrodisiac food items. Garlic is such a food item, which contains allicin and increases the blood flow to the vagina. Dark chocolate can also be taken.

Remedies for vaginal dryness

Several conventional vaginal lubricants may lead to irritation, infection and dryness of the vagina.

1. You should always use a natural lubricant, which is not associated with side effects and works effectively. Natural lubricants such as tea tree oil, coconut oil and vitamin E based oils provide effective vaginal lubrication. They also moisturize and repair the vagina.

2. You must keep fit and active. Regular cardio or yoga sessions will help with enhanced blood flow to your sexual organs, making you feel wet.

3. You should drink plenty of water and always stay hydrated in order to prevent dryness in the vagina.

Most importantly, it is a good idea to continue having sex. If you shy away and do not make any effort, the problem of decrease in libido will continue. Therefore, sex is the best way of encouraging your body. Proper communication with your partner is also necessary.

Decreased Libido and Vaginal Lubrication. What can you Do?

Almost every man and woman craves to have a child they can call their own. This makes an inability to procreate one of the most dreaded situations. Infertility can be defined as the inability to conceive a child within 12 months of biologically appropriately timed intercourse. Infertility exacts a huge psychological toll on the person.

Infertility often triggers depression in a person. This may be acute and result from specific events such as the holidays, family celebrations of the news of a someone else having conceived a child or could be cyclic and coincide with phases of their fertility cycle. This depression could lead to problems at work and communication with the spouse.

Infertility can also make a person feel helpless and affect their self esteem. Infertility accompanied by depression can trigger the feeling of having lost control over one s life and can make people withdraw into themselves.

An infertile person may also often feel guilty and make them blame themselves and their prior actions for the condition. This leads them to question their worthiness of being a good spouse and potential parent. A woman who has suffered from an STD earlier or has undergone an abortion earlier can become obsessed with blaming herself for being infertile. 

This affects their daily lives and ability to work. An infertile person may also feel guilty for having robbed their partner of the chance to become a parent. This can put a strain on their relationship and in many cases lead to a broken marriage.

When they find themselves unable to conceive a child, a couple may try to time their intercourse with ovulation tools, such as an ovulation thermometer etc. and may try different positions, some of which may be fairly uncomfortable. They may also end up having intercourse more often than desired. In order to prevent sperm from leaking out of the vagina, a woman may also find herself lying in an awkward supine position after intercourse. A combination of all these factors makes the act a chore and with time can lead to a loss of libido.

Infertility can also trigger anger against life for having been treated unfairly or towards other parents. This may also be displaced towards their family and friends leading to situations where they feel ostracized and unsupported.

When dealing with infertility, it is important to understand that neither partner is to blame. Infertility is a physiological condition and can be treated in most cases. It is important for both partners to support each other during this process and if need be consult a counselor.

Infertility - Its Impact on a Person's Mental Health

Many people suffer from a low libido problem. This can be a problem for their partners as well as for themselves. A low sex drive can also reduce one's self esteem and confidence. In severe cases it also leads to depression.

Factors which cause low sex drive:
1. Sexual problems: Many sexual problems also lead to a low sex drive. An inability to experience orgasm even after a lot of attempts can make one indifferent to sex. Some people also experience pain because of a tight vagina. In such cases their desire to have sex reduces greatly.

2. Medical diseases: Many medical conditions also affects your libido, such as cancer, arthritis, blood sugar (diabetes), artery diseases, high blood pressure and neurological diseases.

3. Medications: Some people suffer from depression and anxiety disorders. To get over these disorders most doctors prescribe them antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills, these medications create a very low libido.

4. Habits: Many lifestyle habits such as over-consumption of alcohol can make your sex drive reduce a lot. Smoking also decreases the blood flow in your body which may make your libido fall.

5. Surgery: Reconstructive surgeries such as breast reconstruction surgery and genital tract surgery can also affect sexual desire and give your body signals to not engage in an intercourse.

6. Fatigue: Tiredness because of physical activities or caring for your old parents or young children can also make you uninterested in sex. Your body and brain might not have the energy to engage in an intercourse due to fatigue.

7. Menopause: The levels of estrogen reduce greatly during menopause. Low estrogen levels make your vagina dry hence sex can be uncomfortable and painful. Women also go through hormonal changes which make them suffer from a low libido.

8. Pregnancy: After pregnancy, breastfeeding your baby becomes an everyday activity. This can reduce sexual desire because of the pressure of caring for a new born baby.

Regular exercising complemented with enough sleep is known to reduce stress thus giving you a high sex drive. Avoid consuming alcohol. Testosterone replacement therapy (a therapy used for treating erectile dysfunction) also treats low desire.

Worrying Factors That Lead to a Low Sex Drive

Birth control is a method by which unwanted pregnancy is prevented. Partners can plan their childbearing in a better way using the increased levels of awareness about birth control.
 
Methods of birth control
1. Intrauterine devices (IDUs): These are most effective methods of birth control. The intrauterine device (IUD) is a long-acting and reversible form of contraception for women. It is of two types: Copper IUD (contains copper) and Hormone-releasing IUDs (progestin hormone is released into the womb slowly). It is a small device that is fitted inside the womb and it provides contraception by preventing fertilization of the egg.

2. Sterilization: This is a process of birth control that renders a woman incapable of conception or a man incapable of sperm delivery. The process is conducted with the consent of the individual and can be done using either surgical or non-surgical methods. In both the cases, tubes carrying sperms (in males) and fallopian tubes (females) are either cut or blocked.

3. Condoms: These are the most commonly used measures for birth control. Male and female condoms act as barriers and prevent the sperm from reaching the uterus.

4. Oral contraceptive pills: These pills are the most popular measures of birth control used by women across the world. This is the most convenient way of postponing pregnancy. However, it is very important that the side effects of the contraceptive pills be noted. The side effects cause changes in the body, such as irregular bleeding, increase in the breast's size increased levels of blood pressure as well as eventual infertility.

5. Contraceptive Injections: In this method, one hormone injection is administered, the effects of which last inside the body for a time period of 8 to 12 weeks i.e. 2-3 months. The contraceptive injection has the similar effects as that of contraceptive pills on birth control. Evidently, the shot is irreversible, which makes the woman infertile for a period of three months. However, similar to the pill, protection from STDs is not offered by contraceptive injections. But these injections can guarantee 99% safety and surety on being used.

6. Natural Family Planning: Even though it is not any external pill or device, Natural Family Planning is also a method of birth control. It relies on the knowledge of timings of the menstrual cycle (periods) so that the couple can avoid sex during the time period when the woman is fertile.

6 Sure Shot Ways of Birth Control

Chlamydia is caused by the bacteria Chlamydia trachomatis and doesn't have any defined symptoms and hence, most people who suffer from it are not even aware of their status. Of all the sexually transmitted diseases, Chlamydia is the most common.

And, since it doesn't have any defined symptoms, it is transmitted unknowingly from one person to another. Chlamydia can also be passed on from mother to child, if the mother suffers from Chlamydia while she is pregnant. Here are a few things you should know about this sexually transmitted disease. 
Symptoms
Symptoms of Chlamydia are noticeable within 1-3 weeks of unprotected intercourse. The symptoms of Chlamydia are different in men and women. 

Symptoms in men
-    Clear or cloudy discharge from the penis
-    Painful urination
-    Burning and itching around the penis head
-    Painful swelling of the testicles

Symptoms in women
-    Abnormal vaginal discharge
-    Painful menstruation
-    Bleeding between menstrual cycles
-    Abdominal pain and fever
-    Painful urination
-    Itching and burning around vagina
-    Pain during intercourse

A simple urine test or lab test can be used to diagnose Chlamydia. For the lab test, the doctor will take a sample swab from a man's urethra or a woman's cervix. 
Once diagnosed, Chlamydia can be easily treated. In most cases, oral antibiotics will cure the patient in a week or two. It is important to complete the antibiotic course even if the symptoms disappear early. In some cases, women with severe Chlamydia may need to be hospitalized for intravenous treatment. 
With Chlamydia, it is important not only for you to get yourself treated, but to also get your partner treated. This will eliminate the chances of the disease recurring. You must also test yourself after three months to ensure that the disease has been completely cured. 
Chlamydia can affect your health badly, if left untreated. It can cause pelvic inflammatory disease in women, which may make the woman infertile by affecting her fallopian tubes. It could also increase the risk of an ectopic pregnancy and premature birth. Further, remember that Chlamydia can also be passed on from mother to child if left untreated. This can cause the newborn to have an eye infection or pneumonia at the time of birth. If left untreated in men, Chlamydia can cause nongonococcal urethritis, epididymitis and proctitis. The first is an infection of the urethra; the second, an infection of the tube that carries the sperm from the testis and the third is an inflammation of the rectum. 
Like all STDs, Chlamydia can be prevented by the use of a condom and fidelity between sexual partners.

A Guide To Chlamydia

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