Management of Abortion
Caesarean Section Procedure
Treatment Of Female Sexual Problems
Termination Of Pregnancy Procedure
Treatment Of Pregnancy Problems
Well Woman Healthcheck
Treatment Of Female Sexual Problems
Treatment Of Medical Diseases In Pregnancy
Treatment Of Menstrual Problems
Intra-Uterine Insemination (IUI) Treatment
Medical Termination Of Pregnancy (Mtp) Procedure
Gynecology Laparoscopy Procedures
Pap Smear Procedure
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Although a vegetable, garlic is primarily classified as a spice and is used in many dishes across cultures. However, apart from the pungent smell which is the most known characteristic of garlic, it also has medicinal properties and thus, was even used by healers for various ailments before the advent of modern medicine.
Some of the reasons garlic is considered healthy:
Garlic is considered healthy for a multitude of reasons. Let's look at some of the ailments that garlic can prevent as well as help in healing.
- Great Against Common Cold: Garlic and garlic based homemade treatments are great ways to ward off the common cold. Garlic contains the chemical "allicin" which is known to aid health within the body. Having a few cloves or garlic can help you fight the common cold infection.
- It is Known to Improve Bone Health: Garlic is known to be very beneficial for bone health, especially in menopausal women. Women may encounter bone loss during menopause as the production of estrogen is lowered. Garlic encourages estrogen production which can stop bone loss and even protect against bone problems such as osteoarthritis.
- Is an effective agent in Lowering Blood Pressure: Hypertension is a known killer all across the world. Garlic contains polysulfides which are effective in vasodilation or the widening of the blood vessels and also relaxation of the muscles. This helps blood pressure being lowered within the body and is an effective home remedy if consumed in controlled amounts.
- Reduces Fatigue and is a Performance Enhancer: Garlic is known to reduce fatigue within people as it controls the heart rate by lowering blood pressure. Whether it is an athletic performance or other physical work related performance requirements, this spice tends to give an extra boost.
- Controls LDL Cholesterol, thereby reducing chances of Heart Disease: LDL cholesterol, also known as bad cholesterol, is controlled by allicin as it improves liver functions. The liver can then break down LDL cholesterol easily and thus also helps in preventing arteriosclerosis. Garlic is also known to prevent blood clots that lead to heart attacks.
- Garlic has anti-parasitic and anti-bacterial properties: Garlic has been known throughout the ages to be an effective anti-bacterial and anti-parasitic agent. Garlic extracts or small amounts of garlic in your diet can help you build up immunity and also kill infections within your system effectively. It is also known to be very effective against tapeworm infestations within the gut.
Marriages in our country usually last a lifetimeand and require effort from both parties involved to make them work. Often, marriages end because of boredom, as the partners begin to believe that the spark is gone. But there are many ways couples can perk up their marriage.
While it is true that many people are short on precious time in today’s day and age, what is also true is that a marriage is well worth some prioritisation.
Leaving dirty dishes in the sink for a little while longer does make good sense, if it means that the time is well-used to bond with one’s significant other. Leisure time spent between couples is crucial for the success of a marriage. Many couples do not make it a habit of listening to each other and this really does work to their detriment. Paying close attention to what the other one says and providing a response may not need a lot of effort but the dividends are rich in the form of the partner feeling good.
Intimacy is a valued feeling of being wanted and it has a big part to play in the success of a marriage. Over the long term, many couples do not make the required effort and the overall quality of their bond is reduced, as a result. While reinitiating contact may be as simple as holding the other’s hand, many people do not do this as they feel their partner should be the one to do so. Intimacy does not only equate to sexual intimacy, but can even simply be looking into one’s partners eyes with love.
Laughter is said to be the best medicine, and this happens to be true in the case of a marriage, as well. It has been found that couples who laugh about their past experiences are happier and get along a lot more amicably than those who do not. Recalling together where the couple first met and started seeing each other also has a positive impact as it makes both partners feel valued and thankful about what they have.
Below, are tips that don’t require much—if any—money, time or even hard work!
Engage in a new activity with your partner. Doing novel activities with your partner enables you to re-experience the original emotional state at the beginning of your marriage. In other words, trying something new sparks excitement, producing passion. You can do anything from deep-sea fishing to salsa dancing to hiking a mountain to eating at a different restaurant.
Add the element of mystery or surprise. Both mystery and surprise also mimic the emotional state of a new romance. But it doesn’t mean whisking your wife away to the Mediterranean or surprising your husband with expensive dinners. Here, little gestures also go a long way. Examples include, surprising your wife at work and whisking her away for lunch, or sending a greeting card in the mail.
Do something that kicks up your adrenaline and arousal. Young marriages start out with an adrenaline rush. Your heart races, you get giddy, you’re alert, awake and excited. Arousal-generating activities can include exercising, going on a vigorous hike, and even watching a scary movie. So it’s almost like fooling your brain that the arousal produced to this scary movie (or any other arousing activity) is really due to your marriage, and this helps to perk up the passion.
Take a mini-vacation — just the two of you. Get out of the house for at least one night and two days, somewhere that interests both of you and creates new memories together. You don’t have to go far from home or spend a lot of money. The key is to spend quality time together away from home. Studies show that for women, in particular, getting away is important. They feel more passionate when they’re away from the pressures of their lives. At home, women have a tough time compartmentalizing things. They’re thinking about the laundry, lunch, paying the bills, cleaning the house, and checking things off their mental to-do list.
Touch more often. Touch produces arousal, comfort and support both physiologically and psychologically, and it doesn’t have to be much of a touch. Holding hands on a walk, making sure you give a hug or kiss or embrace daily reminds you that you’re physiologically bonded. When reigniting your relationship, the key is to shake things up consistently. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a psychiatrist. Good luck!
The shoulder is one of the most important joints in the body that uses a ball and socket to join the arm to the rest of the body. Any pain can make it difficult to carry out motion in a comfortable manner. The shoulder consists of the long arm bone called the humerus, the collarbone or the clavicle, as well as the shoulder blade called the scapula. A layer of cartilage provides essential padding to the bones in this area and its two main joints. There are a number of issues that can cause shoulder pain.
Let us get to know the six most common ones.
- Rotator Cuff Injury: This is the most common cause of shoulder pain and it occurs when the four muscles or the tendons are injured. These muscles and tendons usually control the movement of the arm. This injury can involve strains and tears which may also be caused by constant lifting of heavy objects.
- Rotator Cuff Tendonitis: This condition affects the tendons and muscles that help in moving the arm freely. This usually happens due to inflammation in the tendons. It is commonly experienced by patients who are actively involved in sports and other heavy physical pursuits in their line of work.
- Frozen Shoulder: This is a debilitating condition that restricts the free movement of the arm and is also known as adhesive capsulitis. When the shoulder tissues become too thick, it leads to the growth of scar tissue that hinders proper movement and causes pain.
- Osteoarthritis: Osteoarthritis is a condition that comes as part of aging bones that also become hollow and brittle over the passage of time, which leads to joint and bone pains in various parts of the body. It is a degenerative disease that is caused due to prolonged wear and tear as well as other factors including family history and sports injury.
- Bursitis: This condition is known to affect the fluid-filled sacs that lie in between the joints. These are known as bursae. When the bursae suffers from swelling, the effect usually shows up as pain in the joints.
- Tendon Sheath Inflammation: The fibrous tissue that connects the bones and the muscles is called a tendon. The presence of the tendon makes it possible to pursue activities like running, jumping, lifting, gripping and more. It is protected by a sheath known as synovium, which also lubricates the same. Any injury or tear to this sheath can cause shoulder pain.
Acute and persistent pain that does not abate and gets even worse should be treated with immediate medical intervention. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult an orthopedist.
How I will be sure that I am pregnant or not? I have 28 day cycle. Now I am 30 days .and white discharge leaking from vagina. Is it time to check pregnancy test.
Dear doctor I have periods problem it doesn't come month to month and when its come I suffers fever too much pain in stomach and waist. I am too depressed about it. Please suggest me any solution.
My wife has a cyst in left overy. I consulted the doctor and went for an ultrasound. The cyst was 41* 30 mm. The doctor said it will vanish by itself ,no need for medication. It is painful sometimes and slight bleeding from vagina every day.
My wife she is pregnant of one n a half month. .but she can't eat any thing not even milk. .if she eats or drink milk she started vomiting .n due to this she always feel weak. .kindly suggest what shall I do n also suggest me proper diet for Her please. .because this is our first baby n I don't want to take any chances .so kindly guide me..
Heavy menstrual bleeding, technically called menorrhagia, is one of the most common types of abnormal bleeding from the uterus. Menstrual bleeding is said to be heavy if there is so much blood that a tampon or pad remains soaked for several hours.
Here are all the possible causes of heavy menstrual bleeding:
1. Hormonal imbalance
Estrogen and progesterone levels are the primary control mechanism for periods. If the ovaries have a problem in functioning, hormonal imbalances may occur. Heavy menstrual bleeding is most common in females who are at the start of menopause. Puberty menorrhagia can occur in adolescents who are experiencing their first menstrual period.
These most commonly occur around the age when women can get pregnant. Uterine fibroids are non-cancerous growths on the uterus.
3. Ectopic pregnancy
An ectopic pregnancy is when a fertilized egg stays in the fallopian tube but does not reach the uterus.
4. Blood thinners
These are medicines which are usually anticoagulant or anti-platelet drugs.
5. Problems with IUD
A non-hormonal intrauterine device is a T-shaped device used for birth control which is inserted into the uterus.
This is a condition in which the muscular wall of the uterus also gets the lining of the uterus intermingled with it. However, this condition is rare and only happens in middle aged women with several children.
PID stands for pelvic inflammatory disease and refers to any infection within the organs of the reproductive system.
Uterine, ovarian and cervical cancer are just some of the cancers which may cause heavy menstrual bleeding.
9. Other diseases
Liver, kidney and thyroid diseases are all included. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Gynaecologist.
In a normal pregnancy, the egg that the ovaries release enters the fallopian tube. If a sperm fertilises it, the fertilised egg attaches itself inside the uterus. However, sometimes the fertilised egg can attach itself outside the uterus. This condition is called ectopic pregnancy.
Ectopic pregnancy can be detected in the first few weeks of the pregnancy itself. If your doctor does discover ectopic pregnancy, you would need immediate medical attention. Ectopic pregnancies can be sad and scary. The survival rate of the baby is extremely low, and you may need some time to get over your loss. Fortunately, one ectopic pregnancy doesn't mean you can never conceive again. Many women who lost their first baby to ectopic pregnancy have been able to have a healthy and normal pregnancy the second time around.
The causes of ectopic pregnancy include:
- An inflammation or infection of the fallopian tube can lead it to become entirely or partially blocked.
- Scar tissue from a surgery or an infection of the fallopian tube may also hinder the movement of the fertilised egg.
- Surgery in the tubes or pelvic areas in the past might cause adhesions.
- Birth defects or abnormal growths can cause anomalies in the shape of the tube.
These causes are usually followed by certain risk factors, such as:
- Age (The age group of 35-44 especially)
- An ectopic pregnancy in the past
- Previous abdominal or pelvic surgery
- Pelvic inflammatory disease
- Several prompted abortions
- Conceiving with an intrauterine device in place
- Endometriosis (growth of uterus lining tissues outside the uterus).
- Fertility treatments.
The signs and symptoms of ectopic pregnancy include:
- Minimal vaginal bleeding
- Vomiting and nausea with pain
- Pain in the lower abdomen
- Sharp cramps in the abdomen
- Localised pain (Pain concentrated on one side of your body)
- Pain in your neck, rectum or shoulder
- Rupture of the fallopian tubes can cause fainting due to the bleeding and pain
The treatment of ectopic pregnancy can be any one of the following:
- If the pregnancy has not progressed too far, methotrexate will be administered. This absorbs the pregnancy tissue and can save the fallopian tubes.
- The tubes may be removed if they have ruptured or stretched, and have started bleeding.
- Laparoscopic surgery (operations performed by making minor incisions) may be performed to remove or repair the tubes and recover the ectopic pregnancy. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Gynaecologist.
30-40% of alcoholic women have difficulties in sexual arousal while 15% have problems being orgasmic even on consuming alcohol in moderate doses. Alcohol directly affects the production of oestrogen in women resulting in amenorrhoea, decrease in ovarian size, absence of corpora lutea associated with infertility and spontaneous abortions. Alcohol consumed by the pregnant mother can cause foetal alcohol syndrome which ischaracterized by facial changes with epicanthal eye folds, poorly formed concha, small teeth with faulty enamel, ventricular septal defects, limitations in joint movement, microcephaly with mental retardation.
- A person having weight below the range that is considered normal as per his/her height and age is believed to be underweight. Many persons may be underweight simply because of their genetic makeup. Others may be underweight because of other factors such as eating less or taking a diet insufficient in nutrients. There are a few medical conditions that make a person lose weight and fall in the underweight category. These medical conditions include ibs (irritable bowel syndrome), hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid), tuberculosis, crohn’s disease, and liver problems. A person who is stressed or depressed may also lose weight.
- Homeopathic medicines are extremely helpful for persons looking to gain weight. Homeopathy offers a wide range of medicines that can help underweight persons gain weight in a healthy way. The selection of homeopathic medicines for gaining weight is based on individual case presentation. The medicines help gain weight while at the same time building immunity. In fact, homeopathic medicines work by correcting the underlying medical condition that has caused the weight loss in the first place, thereby improving the overall health condition of the person concerned.
13 real benefits of vinegar:
1. It reduces bloating. Vinegar increases the acidity in the stomach, which allows it to digest the food you've eaten and helps propel it into the small intestine, a because slow digestion can cause acid reflux, a burning sensation that occurs when food in your stomach backs up all the way into your esophagus.
2. It increases the benefits of the vitamins and minerals in your food" when your stomach isn't producing enough acid, this impairs the absorption of nutrients as well as b6, folate, calcium, and iron" Dr. Kellman explains. Help your body by ingesting a bit more acid in the form of vinegar, and you'll actually be able to use all the good stuff you consumed by ordering the side salad instead of fries.
3. It cancels out some of the carbs you eat. The acetic acid found in vinegar interferes with the enzymes in your stomach responsible for digesting starch so you can't absorb the calories from carbs you've eaten.
4. It softens your energy crash after eating lots of sugar or carbs. Consuming vinegar before a meal can help by slowing the rush of sugar to your blood stream, so your blood sugar spike resembles a hill instead of a mountain and you don't crash quite as hard.
5. It keeps you full longer. In a small but thorough study, researchers found that people who consumed vinegar before eating a breakfast of white bread felt more satisfied 90 minutes after eating compared to people who only ate the bread.
6. It can help your muscles produce energy more efficiently before a major push. Endurance athletes sometimes drink diluted vinegar before they carb-load the night before competing because acetic acid can helps the muscles turn carbs into energy to fuel intense exercise, according to well-regarded research conducted on animals.
7. It could lower your blood pressure. Animal studies suggest that drinking vinegar can lower your blood pressure by a few points. Researchers don't understand exactly how this works or whether it is equally effective among humans, but johnston is pretty confident it can make at least a modest difference.
8. It cleans fruits and veggies. The best way to clean produce, according to johnston, is with diluted vinegar: research suggests its antibacterial properties can significantly reduce pathogens such as salmonella. Just fill an empty spray bottle with diluted vinegar and spritz your produce (salad stuff, fruits, etc.) then rinse in regular water before serving.
And don't rely on a vinegar-based salad dressing to redeem a dirty deli's salad bar fare: johnston worries that mixing vinegar with ingredients found in salad dressings (like salt or olive oil) or with actual salad could render acetic acid inactive, and says that more research is needed on the topic.
9. It kills bad breath. You might have heard that the antibacterial properties of vinegar can kill microorganisms responsible for bad breath — and in theory, this is true. However, johnston warns" it's no more effective than any other antibacterial agents, and there are better products designed for this purpose"
10. It deodorizes smelly feet. Just wipe down your clompers with a paper towel dipped in diluted vinegar. The antibacterial properties of vinegar will kill the smelly stuff.
11. It relieves jellyfish stings. In case you're ever stung by a jellyfish and just so happen to have diluted vinegar on hand, you'll be awfully lucky: vinegar deactivates the jellyfish's sting better than many other remedies even though hot water still works best, according to a study that compared both techniques.
12. It balances your body's ph levels, which could mean better bone health. Although vinegar is obviously acidic, it actually has a neutralizing effect once it's inside of you. Meaning: it makes your body's ph more basic.
13. It alleviates heartburn — vinegar's effectiveness depends on the source of your heartburn: if you have erosive heartburn caused by lesions in your esophagus or stomach ulcers, a dose of vinegar will only aggravate the problem. But if your heartburn stems from something you ate, adding acetic acid to your stomach can help neutralize the acid in there and help fix the problem, providing you with at least a little bit of comfort.
6 unhealthy habits that are harmful for your back:
You may not be aware, but there are many ways by which you are harming your back on a daily basis. These habits can lead to disc problems and spine problems in the coming years and impact the quality of your life. So, correct these mistakes before your back suffers irreparable damage.
Here are ways by which you are hurting your back:
1. You sit at your desk for too long
- Sitting puts 40% more pressure on your spine than standing. Also, not maintaining the right posture and slouching damages the spine in the long run.
- Try and stretch at a 135-degree angle to reduce compression of the discs in the spine.
- You can do this by leaning back slightly every now and then and also while making phone calls.
- Ensure that you use an office chair that supports the curve of your spine. Your lower back should be supported and your head should be straight.
- Get up and walk around for a couple of minutes every half hour: take trips to get water, use the bathroom, or grab papers off the printer.
2. You watch too much tv
- Staying glued to your television set for hours is not good for your back.
- Studies show that young adults who watch tv or use the computer for 15 hours a week or more are 3 times three times as likely to have lower-back pain as their more active counterparts.
- Limit tv to shows you really want to watch. In the spare time opt for some stretches or strength moves which will prevent muscle strain.
3. You wear high heels or flip flops too often
- Wearing both high heels as well as flip flops too often can lead to foot instability, which in turn can affect your back.
- High heels force you to arch your back, making your spinal muscles work harder.
- Backless shoes like flip flops cause your feet to move from side to side, which distributes your body weight unevenly and can cause pain.
- You do not have to abandon your high heels or flip flops for good. Just avoid walking long distances in them.
- Choose comfortable flats or sneakers when you plan on walking long distances.
4. Your mattress is too old
- According to experts, a good mattress lasts 9 to 10 years. But it is always a good idea to replace one every 5-7 years.
- Studies show that people who switch to new bedding after 5 years sleep significantly better and experience less back pain.
- When you do replace your mattress, pick one that’s not too soft nor too hard. Very firm mattresses can increase pressure on the spine and worsen pain.
5. You do not eat right
- Studies suggest that eating habits that are good for your heart, weight, and blood sugar are also good for your back.
- Make sure to include back healthy foods in your diet.
- These are foods that reduce inflammation and include whole grains, soy, nuts and seeds, protein (chicken, fish, lean meat), vegetables, and fruits.
- Limit intake of caffeine and processed foods.
6. You drive in the wrong posture
- Just like at your desk, hunching over a steering wheel can tighten chest muscles and cause your shoulders to round.
- Make sure you sit at a 90-degree angle, close to the wheel so you don’t have to stretch.
We all believe that consuming fruit is an uncomplicated task that involves buying, cutting and eating the pieces. But in reality, to reap the benefits, you need to consume it at the right time. By consuming fruits at the right time, it can contribute to boost the detoxification process and help in weight loss and kick-start the metabolism process.
When is the best time to eat fruits?
Fruits comprise of different types of nutrients which offer protection against different types of diseases and infections, lower the chances of heart diseases and hypertension. If you eat fruits without proper knowledge of how to consume it, it can create problems rather than offer benefits. You should, therefore, try to eat fruits at the following timings.
- Empty stomach in the morning: Experts always recommend consumption of fruits on an empty stomach and in between meals. This is because digestion takes place at a fast pace during these times and the enzymes required for digestion of fruits are released easily when you are on an empty stomach. Fruits are high in simple sugars which need long hours to be completely digested by the body. Thus, if you eat fruits on an empty stomach, all the nutrients, sugar and dietary fibers are processed properly in the body. This ensures that your body gets the right quantity of nutrition from the consumption of fruits.
- Before and after workout: Another viable time of eating fruits is before or after exercising. You are free to eat your choicest fruits right before or immediately after working out. The body would easily utilize the sugars derived from the fruits for extracting energy before a workout. It also helps in filling back the energy content of the body if you consume fruits right after workout sessions.
Eating fruits is a simple process which is known for offering a host of benefits. But there are also numerous myths regarding the timing of consumption of fruits which need to be debunked. One such myth is that if you are suffering from high blood sugar, you should consume fruits at least one to two hours before meals. The idea behind the myth is that people with diabetes have digestive issues and eating fruits separately can improve digestion to some degree. But there is no supportive evidence for the statement.
So, it is advised to eat the fruit as a snack together with protein-packed meals which can aid in digestion. This is also beneficial as smaller amounts of sugar gets absorbed at a time which leads to the meagre amount of rising in blood sugar levels. With these few factors in mind, you can get the most out of your daily fruits consumption.
After 4 years of marriage I got conceived and within 2 months doctor did dnc as there is no heart beat for baby now 5 months has gone and still I am not getting conceived no sugar for me doctor is suggesting me to do IUI double times. Before getting conceived I did 3 times IUI which resulted in failure. Doctor is saying that before you did IUI you dint get pregnant. Now after abortion there is chances of getting conceiving. I am taking ovashield ecosprin -75 mg folic acid and metformin 500 mg for two times as there was pcod before but now no pcod now. And also labetalol tablet for bp since I am having slight bp. My age is 34. I did tube test before getting conceiving and that time everything was clear. please advice can I do IUI for double times. Already 3 times failure that too before getting pregnant. Now 5 months has completed post abortion or should I have to do tube test again please advice.
The signs and symptoms of reactive attachment disorder will vary based on the child suffering from the disorder, as well as on how long the child was exposed to the unhealthy environment that led to the onset of the disorder. The following are some examples of behavioral, physical, cognitive, and psychosocial symptoms that children suffering from RAD may exhibit:
- Participating in self-soothing behaviors (such as rocking back and forth or stroking arms)
- Presenting as calmer when alone as opposed to when someone else is present
- Little or no eye contact
- Refusing to interact with peers
- Turning or leaning away when someone tries to show affection
- Failure to gain weight
- Failure to smile
- Looking joyless
- Appearing listless
- Developmental delays
- Cognitive delays
- Language delays
- Delayed responsiveness to stimuli
- Low self-esteem
- Feelings of worthlessness
- Feeling “empty” inside
- Chronic feelings of sadness
- Chronic feelings of anxiety
- Lacking a sense of belonging
- Lacking trust
- Chronic feelings of being unsafe
- Feeling unwanted
If you feel that you are in crisis, or are having thoughts about hurting yourself or others, please call 9-1-1 or go to the nearest emergency room immediately.
Effects of Reactive Attachment Disorder
Getting your loved one into the right treatment program is of vital importance as the effects of reactive attachment disorder can be long-lasting, and in some cases, may never go away without treatment. The following are some examples of the effects that untreated RAD can have on a child as they continue to grow into adults:
- Control issues
- Anger problems
- Inability to show genuine affection
- Underdeveloped conscience
- Inability to genuinely care about another person
- Aversion to any kind of touch
- Inability to develop or maintain significant relationships
- Autism spectrum disorder
- Depressive disorders
- Anxiety disorders
- Pica disorder
- Rumination disorder
- Pervasive developmental disorder
There is no dearth of people out there who operate with other people with negative and bad behaviour. You may find them within your family, neighbour, workplace, associates and friends too. When you have to deal with the negative behaviour of the people every day or you when you cannot avoid them, then they will possibly make your life miserable. Today Psychologist & Relationship Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some important tips to deal with people's unpleasant behaviour effectively.
Psychologist Sadhoo shares that when someone exhibits destructive, mean or otherwise non-caring behaviour, they are usually acting out from something going on with them, not with you. They may say it is about you – “Oh, you make me SO mad!” – but the reality is that people who manifest these negative behaviours are showing an outward display of inward pain or hurt.
It is true that it is not easy to remember that the other person is in pain when he/she is yelling at you, trying to undermine you, being unnecessarily nasty, and/or ignoring you. However, if you don’t recognise that they are in pain, you will be at the biggest loss, their pain actually becomes your pain, you will keep thinking as to how to deal with them next time, you will think about saying just the right thing to knock them off.
In other words, your mind and your attention will be drawn to the person’s negative behaviour. The problem here is that the other person behaiour doesn’t change. Your attempts to say “just the right thing” won’t shift their unhappiness within themselves (unless you are a trained therapist). So the cycle continues. They act badly, you react and feel bad, and nothing changes.
Next time you encounter someone’s bad behaviour, realise that you can own your reactions and actions, and can actually shift the dynamic and lessen the sting inflicted by the negative person. It takes work and it isn’t easy, but if you are game, try these five steps next time you encounter the difficult ones:
1. Seek to understand. When you first time experience a bad behaviour, instead of wasting your mental energy on pain , anger and emotions, ask yourself: “Is there something else at work here?” You typically react to the bad behaviour; instead, simply pause to ask what’s underneath the bad behaviour. Some negative actions require compassion, which mostly are loathed to give when they have been injured somehow.
2. Do Analysis. Instead of just reacting and then trying to find a pal with whom you can share what has happened and tell all the bad words about the person’s bad behaviour, take a moment to act like a detective and analyse the situation with facts and data: “My boss always yells, he seems to like to yell about everything, perhaps that’s what he thinks is the desired way of talking to juniors and delegate or assign work. I am not here to change him nor I have the time to do so, so let me just finish my work instead of focusing on the behaviour.
3. Identify the impact. If your sister in law is just an unhappy and a rude person, but it doesn’t really affect anything in your life? If someone is negative toward you, and it doesn’t really impact you, just let it go. Let her stay happy in her world and you in yours.– just walk away, and get on with your day.
4. Giving up the desire to win: Yes, this one is extremely difficult, especially in personal relationships when you know you are “right”. Fighting to win doesn’t actually benefit anyone. It just leaves negative feelings in its wake and makes things worst for the future. So the intelligence is not in repeatedly trying to prove your point and wasting your time and energy, just learn to walk away.