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Stonewalling is a term that was developed by psychologist Dr John Gottman, who specializes in relationship research and therapy. Stonewalling means when a person “withdraws from the interaction, shutting down and closing themselves off from the speaker because they are feeling overwhelmed or physiologically flooded”.
Stonewalling is when a person withdraws from a conversation and refuses to deal with concerns. Stonewalling occurs when individuals tends to completely decline to communicate or cooperate. Stonewalling is different from rare timeout, stonewalling occurs when an individual is absolutely denies another partner’s perspective. Stone walling occurs in various situations. Both verbal and non-verbal behavior can be an indicator of stonewalling. Stonewalling is considered to be a manipulative technique and it can hamper the relationships.
Communication is considered to the essence of every relationship. When one or both partners engage in stone walling, this reflects that the couple refuses to communicate their feelings. Communication is considered to be the essence of every relationship. Thus stone walling tends to outweigh the positive effects of communication and leads to vicious cycle where couples avoid discussing about their concerns.
Stonewalling can be considered to have psychological as well as physiological effect. Stonewalling is considered to be a form of fight or flight responses. It is considered to be a controlling tactic that can lead to emotional abuse. Stonewalling is ineffective and can damage your relationship. The problem of stonewalling is seen not only between the couples but also exist in families.
Stonewalling is considered to closing stages to communication and can appear to be hurtful to the person who is at the receiving end. It can create feelings of abdondonment and detachment in the relationship.
Despite the fact whether stonewalling is intentional or not but the message it conveys can be still very hurtful as it tend to show that your partner is not worth responding to and their thoughts and feelings also don’t matter.
While stonewalling many times occurs in the form of coping mechanism, it can have catastrophic implications when it is used over period of time.
Stonewalling or Silent treatment can be most destructive pattern of communication that destroys relationship because it can create feeling of loneliness and rejection. Stonewalling can be frustrating, unbearable and isolating for individuals who are at receiving end.
When people engage in stonewalling is to avoid dealing with the situation, to get attention, to show power and to express anger. Every individual experiences conflict in their relationship and every couple should resolve the issue sooner rather than later. No couple can ever be conflict free. Happy couples are those who know how to deal with problems when they arrive. Showing love and affection can really help couple win the battle.
A relationship marked by recurrent stonewalling behavior can cause suffers tremendous rift between the two partners. Unless the couple, doesn’t learn how to communicate with each other more productively the problems will continue to persist. The partners become more distant from each other and the intimacy declines. They may continue to live their lives without sharing any activities or interests with each other.
Relationships can be tricky. They require a lot of patience and good communication. Many times the problem arises when the couple avoids dealing with the problem which can cause deterioration in the relationship. It is essential for the couple to learn and grow along side.
No matter what the reason is behind stonewalling it is important to communicate rather than shutting all the means of communication.
If you recognize that your partner is stonewalling you, it is also essential to understand that how you may be contributing to the problem and take steps in the desired action. When the problem seems to get out of control seek help from professional marriage counsellor or relationship expert in order to improve self-esteem and communication skills is essential.
Are you suffering from extreme depression? Does your depression episode continues for a long time and makes you feel too tired to get out of bed? Chronic depression is capable of turning your life upside down, causing turmoil with all your activities, thereby, spoiling your regular life totally. At times, a person can get so drained by depression that getting out of bed seems impossible because of fatigue. It is quite difficult to deal with such situations.
- Be depressed upright: It is likely to be driven by the voices in your head during your depression. You should respond by replying to the voices that you are depressed, but you are going to be depressed outside. This is important, as activity and depression do not go well together. You should try to stop your thinking totally and put yourself in an automatic mode. Preparing to deal with thoughts from before is beneficial. When your body is in motion, it is easier to deal with the thoughts.
- Try to make it to the shower: When you do not feel like leaving your bed at all, you should try making it to the shower somehow. Taking a shower makes you a bit relaxed and diverted and you can expect relief from your depressive episode. This is an effective way to get yourself up and running from bed, instead of isolating yourself under the blanket. Taking a shower might bring you some hope and encourage you to step out of bed and do something productive. Even if you decided to be in bed all day strictly, a refreshing shower is likely to change your mind.
- Bribe yourself: You can try bribing yourself as a reason for getting out of bed. You can remind yourself how good you will feel after having a cup of hot coffee, or how nice it would feel to listen to a certain song while going to work.
It is important to give yourself a purpose or reason to get out of bed. Many people believe that they might feel like leaving the bed in spite of being heavily depressed, if they had a worthy purpose. It is very important for you to get involved in something. You might hate a job, or hate working, but it will give you a reason to divert from your depressive thoughts.
At a young age, it is fairly common to be afraid of math. The rational nature of numbers, multiplication tables, addition, subtraction and all that in between can admittedly be a tough thing to get on with at a tender age. But in most of the cases, this difficulty tends to improve as one attains maturity. This can be attributed to a growing familiarity with the subject and a subsequent change in the way of understanding certain things. But if your child suffers from a problem with understanding math even at a grown age, chances are he/she might be suffering from Dyscalculia- a special type of learning disorder that is characterized by a person’s inability to grasp the concepts of math or the very concept of numbers itself.
Dyscalculia generally occurs due to genetic factors. However, it is also possible to encounter this disorder if your child had suffered from significant brain injury in the past or have problems with remembering things. It is also possible to have this disorder, if your child is already suffering from Dyslexia ( a learning disorder which makes your child unable to read or understand written words).
The symptoms of Dyscalculia are as follows:
- Inability to recognize numbers and significant trouble while counting.
- Significant problems while performing basic additions, subtractions or divisions.
- Facing problems with how to use money or telling time.
- The problem with memorizing mathematical formulae or tables.
- Your child might be unable to discern exactly how to approach a math problem.
- Your child will be increasingly reluctant to go to a math class or feel tensed before math examinations.
- Inability to understand the basic functionality of numbers.
It is extremely important to remember that having this disorder does not necessarily mean your child has a bad academic record on the whole. Since this disorder can cause significant problems in the future for your child in terms of dealing with things in the real world, you should be extremely sensitive regarding its treatment.
The treatment of Dyscalculia might include:
- You should encourage your child more and more if they tend to get immensely frustrated with their math problems. If possible, try to help your child with his/ her homework.
- Strike a healthy relationship with your child. Make him realize that not being able to grasp the concept of numbers is not the end of the world. Explore his other skills. That might boost his lost confidence and might encourage him to approach math in a more efficient manner.
- You should try to make your child learn how to tell time or use money with little home exercises. If possible, try to make him learn the basic of math with daily activities like counting the number of flowers while walking down the streets.
- You must consult a specialist who will make your child learn numbers by following different modes other than writing. For example, the specialist might read a math problem to your child in order to make him understand the problem.
Depression can be caused because of many reasons. However, it can get worse or be triggered due to nutritional deficiency. However nutritional deficiencies and depression act in a vicious cycle. Depressed people often receive less or improper food which leads to malnutrition which again aggravate depression. Thus, both conditions should be treated simultaneously. Read further to know how:
- Omega-3 fatty acids: An Omega-3 unsaturated fat deficiency can cause depression. That shows exactly how much fish, salmon, halibut or flaxseeds and walnuts we have to expend to be at an ideal level. These basic minerals lessen aggravation and take up a basic part in our mental health, particularly memory and disposition.
- Vitamin D: Vitamin D deficiency is a noteworthy problem that specialists and general physicians perceive to be dangerous. This lack has been connected to depression, dementia and mental imbalance. The majority of our Vitamin D levels drop off during the fall and winter months, since daylight is the best source of vitamin D.
- Magnesium: Odds are great that you are magnesium inadequate since a lot of people are. Sugar, phosphoric acid, perpetual anxiety, anti-infection agents and diuretics contain magnesium. Magnesium is infrequently alluded to as the anxiety counteracting agent.
- Vitamin B complex: B vitamins like vitamin B6 and vitamin B12 have some great medical advantages, including decreased heart diseases and healthy skin and nails. Again, a vitamin B deficiency may affect your emotional wellness. Every one in four depressed or stressed woman suffers from vitamin B12 deficiency.
- Folate: Individuals with a low folate level have just a seven percent reaction to treatment with antidepressants. Those with high folate levels have a reaction of 44 percent. That is the reason a lot of specialists are currently endorsing a folate called Deplin to treat dejection.
- Amino acids: Amino acids are the building blocks of protein that help your mind work efficiently. An amino acid deficiency may make you feel slow, foggy, unfocused, and discouraged. Great sources of amino acids include meat, eggs, beans, seeds, and nuts.
- Iron: Iron deficiency is truly common in women. Around 20 percent of the women and 50 percent of pregnant women are iron deficient. Just 3 percent of men are iron deficient. The most widely recognized type of side effect is the decreasing number of red platelets brought on by the lack of iron. The side effects include weakness, concentration issues and a foggy mind.
- Zinc: Zinc is used by more proteins (a person has more than 300) than some other minerals. It is important to most of the body’s systems. It also helps our stomach to determine what food items or nutrients to keep and what to dispose off.
Therefore, it is very important for a person to consume the right amount of nutrients that a human needs. Their deficiency not only causes depression, but also many other diseases and illnesses.
When you spend so much time with someone you are bound to have at least an occasional difference of opinion, to say the least, and it’s not always easy to keep objective and levelheaded when you enter into a disagreement with your partner. When this happens, remember to use these effective communication skills with your partner to improve the odds of reaching a solution that is in the relationship’s best interest.
This is because no matter how much you love and respect each other, it might not be possible to always keep cool and be levelheaded while entering into a disagreement with your significant other.
Use ‘I’ in the statement: Never blame your partner. This can make your partner feel that you are trying to attack your partner’s feelings, which often takes a negative turn. For example, if your partner is late, you can say “I would have appreciated if you had called me”. In this case, it’s all about how you feel and so it’s now up to the partner to appreciate, understand and consider your situation.
Don’t interrupt; listen first: Generally, in an argument, both the partners usually wait for their turn to talk and spurt out their anger and resentment. But this often makes things get worse. Most of the time, disagreements and petty discords, often, get resolved more easily, when someone pays more attention to the cause that might be making the other person upset. Also, watch out for the other person’s body language for getting a grip of his/her feelings. Try and pay undivided attention to what your partner has to say. Only when you have understood what might be the reason for all the hullaballoo, should you start explaining.
Don’t dig up the Past: Always stick to the discussion and the controversy at hand. Never dig up old corpses. Digging up past hatchet will only churn out further heated arguments, things you surely would want to avoid. Remember, resolving multiple conflicts could only get nastier and even more difficult.
Explain later, Acknowledge first: The most effective way of avoiding sudden escalation of disagreements is to first listen and acknowledge your partner’s feelings. Do it even if you think that the other person’s argument lacks reason. Take your time to hear out the other person.
Maintain a Positive and a Respectful Tone: Lastly, maintain a positive and a respectful tone. And never abuse. Abusing is derogatory and can invite further malice that will only keep on spiraling north. There never was and will never be any alternative to maintaining dignity and holding your ground no matter how much the malice is.
Marriages in our country usually last a lifetime and require effort from both parties involved to make them work. Often, marriages end because of boredom, as the partners begin to believe that the spark is gone. But there are many ways couples can perk up their marriage.
While it is true that many people are short on precious time in today’s day and age, what is also true is that a marriage is well worth some prioritisation.
Leaving dirty dishes in the sink for a little while longer does make good sense, if it means that the time is well-used to bond with one’s significant other. Leisure time spent between couples is crucial for the success of a marriage. Many couples do not make it a habit of listening to each other and this really does work to their detriment. Paying close attention to what the other one says and providing a response may not need a lot of effort but the dividends are rich in the form of the partner feeling good.
Intimacy is a valued feeling of being wanted and it has a big part to play in the success of a marriage. Over the long term, many couples do not make the required effort and the overall quality of their bond is reduced, as a result. While reinitiating contact may be as simple as holding the other’s hand, many people do not do this as they feel their partner should be the one to do so. Intimacy does not only equate to sexual intimacy, but can even simply be looking into one’s partners eyes with love.
Laughter is said to be the best medicine, and this happens to be true in the case of a marriage, as well. It has been found that couples who laugh about their past experiences are happier and get along a lot more amicably than those who do not. Recalling together where the couple first met and started seeing each other also has a positive impact as it makes both partners feel valued and thankful about what they have.
Below, are tips that don’t require much—if any—money, time or even hard work!
- Engage in a new activity with your partner. Doing novel activities with your partner enables you to re-experience the original emotional state at the beginning of your marriage. In other words, trying something new sparks excitement, producing passion. You can do anything from deep-sea fishing to salsa dancing to hiking a mountain to eating at a different restaurant.
- Add the element of mystery or surprise. Both mystery and surprise also mimic the emotional state of a new romance. But it doesn’t mean whisking your wife away to the Mediterranean or surprising your husband with expensive dinners. Here, little gestures also go a long way. Examples include, surprising your wife at work and whisking her away for lunch, or sending a greeting card in the mail.
- Do something that kicks up your adrenaline and arousal. Young marriages start out with an adrenaline rush. Your heart races, you get giddy, you’re alert, awake and excited. Arousal-generating activities can include exercising, going on a vigorous hike, and even watching a scary movie. So it’s almost like fooling your brain that the arousal produced to this scary movie (or any other arousing activity) is really due to your marriage, and this helps to perk up the passion.
- Take a mini-vacation — just the two of you. Get out of the house for at least one night and two days, somewhere that interests both of you and creates new memories together. You don’t have to go far from home or spend a lot of money. The key is to spend quality time together away from home. Studies show that for women, in particular, getting away is important. They feel more passionate when they’re away from the pressures of their lives. At home, women have a tough time compartmentalizing things. They’re thinking about the laundry, lunch, paying the bills, cleaning the house, and checking things off their mental to-do list.
- Touch more often. Touch produces arousal, comfort and support both physiologically and psychologically, and it doesn’t have to be much of a touch. Holding hands on a walk, making sure you give a hug or kiss or embrace daily reminds you that you’re physiologically bonded. When reigniting your relationship, the key is to shake things up consistently. Good luck!
Depression is a psychiatric disorder that is characterized by constant feelings of sadness, low self-esteem and loss of interest in daily affairs. Depression is most likely caused by hormonal imbalances, genetic problems, drug addiction, grief etc.
Depression can be characterized by its symptoms:
- You will experience constant feeling of sadness
- There may be sudden outbursts of anger or crying or weeping
- You may have difficulties in concentrating and executing various tasks
- Constant feeling of tiredness
- Loss of appetite or sometimes over eating
- Changes in weight
- Social withdrawal
- Difficulties in sleeping at night
Homeopathy focuses on treating disorders by rooting out the cause of the disease rather than just treating the symptoms.
Homeopathic treatments do not cause any side effect to the body. We take a thorough history of patient before selecting a treatment line for patient. This includes current illness, past illnesses, family history, diet & regimen of patient, lifestyle, history of previous treatments, physical & psychological makeup of patient and many more.
After analyzing all this information the remedy & treatment plan is decided. Even during follow ups a systematic analysis is done to decide further action plan. So 10 patients having namely same illness might need 10 different remedies or two patients needing same remedy might need different dose & repetition of the remedy.
Homoeopathic medicines surely do not cause any side effects if given rightly. But any thing that has an action has to have a reaction. Homoeopathic medicines if given inappropriately may cause adverse effects. Homoeopathic treatment should always be taken under guidance & supervision of an expert Homoeopathic consultant.