Doctor in Dr. Sudhakar Petkar
Treatment Of Erectile Dysfunction
Treatment Of Male Sexual Problems
Treatment Of Male Sexual Problems
Treatment Of Female Sexual Problems
Submit a review for Dr. Sudhakar PetkarYour feedback matters!
Patient Review Highlights
The act of pleasuring oneself is one topic, which has always been questioned by the society at large, but in reality it offers a number of benefits. Masturbation refers to the act of inducing sexual arousal and deriving pleasure from it by stimulating the genitals. This may be done using your own hands, sex toys, fingers or grouping together the effect of these. Mutual masturbation among partners is also a fairly common phenomenon. There are varied opinions on the topic, whether actual sexual penetration gives more pleasure or masturbation. Read on to find out what effect each has on your body and which one is more preferred by most people.
- Health benefits: Studies reveal that engaging in sexual intercourse is associated with a lot of health benefits like controlling your blood pressure level, keeping the prostrate and heart healthy for men, acting as a pain reliever etc. Masturbating may not affect your health in the way sex does, but it certainly has a different set of benefits, which includes preventing cancer, boosting immunity, reducing risks of premature ejaculation etc.
- Associated risks: Sexual intercourse often comes with various risks like STDs IF PARTNER IS INFECTED or chances of unwanted conception IF UNSAFE SEX. Masturbation has comparatively lower health risks than sex, though it is not entirely free from drawbacks. You can get skin irritations and in rare cases, even penile fractures due to excessive masturbation.
- Effect on relationship: The quality and frequency of the sexual intercourse you have with your partner has a direct effect on your relationship. However, masturbation mostly does not involve your partner's participation and so doesn't visibly have a reflection on your relationship.
- Role in knowing your sexual preferences: In case of both men and women, masturbation helps people to identify their sexual preferences and things which give them greater pleasure. This usually leads to a more satisfying sex life and is considered to be easier than figuring out what pleases you while having sex.
Even after considering the above points, which one (either sex or masturbation) gives you more pleasure, completely depends on your personal preferences.
A sexless marriage is one where the couple does not get to have intercourse. This can happen due to many reasons including lack of interest in sex, lack of libido or sexual drive, lack of arousal, erectile dysfunction, vaginal issues like pain and dryness as well as premature ejaculation and various others. In a marriage or any long term relationship, sex is like a glue that holds the couple together and gives them an intimate basis to understand, support and respect each other through thick and thin. So it is important to fix this problem of a sexless marriage where the relationship has fallen prey to complete lack of sex or has not been consummated at all.
Here are a few ways to do so.
Honesty: Getting an honest opinion from your partner regarding the utter lack of sex or non-consummated status of your relationship can actually make a world of difference. Stick to an honest approach yourself and tell your partner everything there is to know. That can goad your partner into sharing the truth, too. In such a case, trust comes into play and respect also enters the relationship.
Physical Ailments: If there are physical ailments like penile and erectile dysfunctions, premature ejaculation and other vaginal disorders, then this must first all be discussed by the couple. It is important for both parties to admit and become aware of the presence of a problem before visiting a doctor or a sexologist together so as to find out the cause and treatment for the condition.
Share Experiences: In many cases, the stress of past sexual trauma or handling the performance with a new love interest can lead to problems as far as sex goes. So, in such cases it is important for both partners to invest time in getting to know each other outside the bedroom and having a good time with each other without bringing sex into the picture. With this, one can slowly forge a connection on the basis of which, sex will also naturally follow. Cultivating hobbies, making mutual friends, visiting places and other such activities can help a couple bond better.
Find out Each Other's Preferences: A major part of intimacy comes from being able to openly discuss each other's sexual preferences in terms of likes, dislikes, toys, pornography viewing and other such things. So it is important to open up and be open so as to facilitate greater pleasure and culmination of the act.
Learn your way around each other with trust, honesty and respect in order to create a relationship where a caring touch is rendered even to the most intimate acts.
Lovemaking is an essential aspect of any healthy relationship yet some couples are not aware of how the bodies change during the intercourse. While making love, a woman’s body goes through four different stages that trace the evolution of her sexual desire. Each stage has its own characteristics of specific physical responses and the woman’s breasts play a vital role in making the experience a pleasing one.
1. The excitement phase: This is the first stage of having sex where the mutual stimulation prepares the vagina. The first sign of sexual arousal is experiencing a vaginal lubrication that typically happens within 10 to 30 seconds of the stimulation. As the excitement builds up, the amount of fluid increases and the nipples also become erect. This happens mainly due to the contractions in small muscle fibres that respond to the sexual arousal.
2. The plateau phase: This is when the sexual stimulation is even more intense and the orgasm is just about to occur. The opening of the vagina narrows by about 30 percent for gripping the male genitals. Sometimes the colour of the inner vaginal lips also changes from pink to bright red. And the whole body reacts to the sexual arousal, and about 50- 75 percent of women across the world experience red spots resembling measles in and around the breasts, face, neck and buttocks. This is called as sex flush.
3. Orgasm: This is the juncture when the female body reaches the throes of the sexual pleasure and is immediately followed by relaxation. The breasts can swell by up to 25 percent at this stage. This makes the breasts ultra-sensitive and much larger than their original size. The nipple stimulation leads to the activation of same areas of the brain like the vaginal, cervical and clitoral stimulation. And the nipples turn from a pale to a deeper hue with the increase in the blood flow during the arousal.
4. Resolution phase: At this stage, the rate of blood pressure as well as heart rate fall as the woman calms down at this stage. But if sexual stimulation continues, then the resolution phase would span a very short time and the woman is likely to go back to the first three stages for further orgasms that lead to temporary enlargement of breasts.
Thus there is nothing to be worried about if you experience swelling of breasts when you are sexually aroused. However, if you feel that your breasts have become tender or causing any sort of abnormalities, then you must speak with a sexologist without further delay.
Though there are several important things which are needed for a relationship to work just fine, but physical intimacy is the most crucial ingredient. A key to a successful committed relationship is a happy and satisfactory sex life. However, there are certain mistakes that we all comit during our intimate time with our partner.
Mistake #1: Avoiding Sex Talk
Talking about sex with your partner maybe awkward and it is completely normal if you both might be reluctant talking about it in the beginning. The inability to have a frank, open and honest conversation about sex is a major problem among couples nowadays. If you are not satisfied with your sex life, then it is important to sit and talk it through with your partner. Counselling sessions can also help you both overcome this problem. While in bed, it is not only the act that matters. Several other ambient pleasures, such as talking dirty in your partner’s ears can add a whole new level to your sex life. Compliment your partner once in a while; it is especially true if you are the man in the relationship. Making your partner feel good about him/her can and usually does improve things when it comes to within the sheet actions.
Mistake #2: Faking it
This is another common mistake, which people make when they are in an intimate relationship. Though little encouragement can go a long way, faking orgasms regularly does not help. It is even possible that one day or the other, your partner will discover it and this may lead to anger, irritation and frustration.
Mistake #3: Being unadventurous
If you have been in a committed relationship for long, then your sex life could suffer from monotony, gradually becoming the one that lacks spice. If this is something that both of you feel, then it is time you brought some newness and zing. Trying new positions or having sex at a place where you’ve never had it before can lead to pleasant changes. This will break the entire monotony of the routine and breathe more life into your sex.
Mistake #4: Self neglect
Life can become pretty hectic and many a times, you may not find the time to take care of and groom yourself. This can be more so if you have been with your partner since a long and you have started taking him/her for granted. Changes in physical appearance do occur with time, but this, in no way means that you do not take care of yourself. Putting a little bit of effort in the way you dress and show up in front of your partner can make him/her feel all the more important and valued, thus adding that extra urge to get you in bed.
Mistake #5: Overthinking
This is one crucial mistake that individuals make in a relationship. They tend to over think about a certain topic, event, or a situation and ultimately end up becoming excessively conscious and aware when it comes to the big night with their partners. Instead, try and have a small talk with your partner to clear things out so that your mind is not clogged with thoughts which may ultimately turn out to be baseless.
Contrary to what most girls have been led to believe about the hymen being a flat tissue that covers the vagina and is ripped during penetrative sex, the truth is that hymen is a fringe of tissue around the vaginal opening. It is not an intact tissue draping across the vaginal wall because without any outlet for the menstrual blood, girls would get periods only after they lose their virginity.
Here are a few mind-boggling facts about the hymen.
- Just like labia, every woman's hymen varies in color, size and shapes.
- It is elastic and stretchy in most cases. Vaginal delivery makes the hymen less visible by smoothening and stretching it.
- Despite popular belief, the pain women experience when they have sex for the first time is not due to your hymen breaking but because your vaginal muscles are too tense and/or you're going at it too rough and fast without adequate lubrication.
- Simple exercises such as walking, riding bicycles, doing splits as well as horseback riding may rip your hymen long before you have had intercourse.
- Hymens should not be perceived as the indicator of sexual activity because they are extremely stretchy and stay with you your entire life. Even sexually active people have hymens.
- If you do not resort to any sexual activity (including penetration during masturbation), the hymen returns to its default position in your vulva.
- Very few women have an imperforate hymen in which the opening is too small for penetration whether by tampons, fingers, sex toys or an erect penis. A simple surgery needs to be conducted in such a case where parts of the hymen are snipped away.
- There is a growth in hymenoplasty, also known as hymen reconstruction surgery, in the past few years because hymen is viewed as an indicator of virginity and there have been cases of annulment, public humiliation, torture and even death because they believe that the hymen is not intact due to sexual activity; therefore making hymenoplasty an effective solution.
Although, not an indicator of the amount of sexual activities performed, one must seek immediate medical attention after being sexually assaulted because it can be examined to prove sexual abuse.
The sexual health of a human being depends on various factors. These may include the physiological make up of the individual as well as the emotional well being and finally also, the physical health of the person.
Ailments, illnesses and diseases can have a huge bearing on the sexual health of an individual, and a cancer patient is no different. Cancer can have a profound effect on one's sexual health:
- Sexual Dysfunction: There are various kinds of cancer and cancer treatments that can suck the energy out of the patient. This also affects the sexual drive and health of the patient. Sexual dysfunction is a common by product of many such treatments, with at least 50% women patients suffering from the same, after breast and cervical cancer.
- Surgery: This is a factor that has a high relation with the sex drive of the patient. Any surgery that is related to cancer usually takes a toll on the body, and leads to a diminishing interest in various areas like food, and sex.
- Tumour: The size and location of the tumour has a major effect on the way a person behaves sexually after treatment and surgery. The tumour decides the severity and aftermath of the treatment and surgery, as well as the amount of tissue that is eventually removed. This can affect the performance and interest of a person in terms of sex.
- Chemotherapy: This kind of therapy and treatment as well as a lot of radiation can lead to side effects like nausea, vomiting, loose motions, dizzy spells, weight loss or gain, and even loss of hair. All these factors greatly affect the person's self image and self esteem which in turn have a bearing on how the person reacts sexually. Most men and women do not have the energy or the drive for sexual intercourse after chemotherapy.
- Prostate Cancer: Getting an erection and achieving ejaculation becomes quite a challenge with this kind of cancer because of the location of the prostate gland where the tumour is generally located.
- Hormones: While the hormones get altered during the treatment and also due to the hormonal treatment that is a part of the therapy followed for cancer patients, the psychological impact and the sexual disinterest is apparent in the patients as well.
Apart from affecting your memory, health and looks, sleep deprivation can lead to decreased sex function as well. People who have trouble sleeping have a difficult time coping with their relationships as with almost all aspects of their lives. Similarly, in the modern world of continuous work pressure and fast paced lifestyle, stress generally takes away all the energy required to enjoy a fulfilling sex life.
The following are some of the ways chronic sleep disorders and stress may affect your sex life:
- Mood swings: Sleep disorders often lead to perpetual mood swings. It can make a person grumpy and quarrelsome. If you're sleep deprived, you may get very agitated even by minor stress. This can hurt interaction between you and your partner, leading to a disruptive relationship in the bedroom.
- Anxiety: Increased levels of anxiety and stress attributed to lack of sleep can lead to loss of sexual function and even sexual disorders at times. Lack of sleep generally decreases your experience of positive emotions, which may lead to pessimism and subsequently lack of sexual interest.
- Decreased social activity: Lack of sleep may decrease your likelihood of engaging in social interactions. People with sleep disorders usually avoid social engagements, as they believe it may disrupt their sleep patterns. They rearrange their sleeping patterns by avoiding social interactions, which leaves them with lesser opportunities to meet with people of the opposite sex, thereby affecting their sex lives.
So, what you should do?
- Focus on getting rid of other stressful issues from your life: Common tensions of your daily life and everyday issues like the normal household chores, and your duties and responsibilities towards your family often leave you too exhausted to spend time with your partner. Moreover, getting preoccupied with social commitments also minimises the time available for just the two of you.
- Go to sleep and wake up at roughly the same time everyday to tune your sleep cycle. Avoid waking up late into night as far as possible.
- Avoid afternoon sleep or take only a nap.
- Don't take heavy foods, big and late meals.
- Eat at least 2-3 hrs before sleep.
- Avoid coffee and tea in the night.
- Don't get glued to the tv, computer, or mobile till sleep time. Shut them down 30 mins. before retiring to bed.
- Read something calming, meditate, or listen to quiet music just before sleeping.
- Regular workouts helps you get good sleep.
- Avoid serious discussions, work or complex decisions 2-3 hrs before sleep. If any of them bother you much, jot them down on a paper. That will lighten your mind help you get better sleep.
If sexual problems and concerns make you sleepless, seek help from a sex counselor. If your sleep problems are due to work in shifts or night-only shifts, take the help of a specialist in sleep problems. This way you can overcome sexual problems arising out of sleep disturbances, and have an improved sex life. For proper sleep one should do regular exercise and yoga and pranayama. It will improve the quality of the sleep and sex life.
Sex brings a couple closer in a relationship, encourages emotional bonding and whilst doing all of this, also bring a whole array of health benefits with it for both partners.
Regular sex can actually make you physically healthier!
Have a look at the benefits it brings, along with unmentionable pleasure.
More Sex, Less Stress:
If you're freaking out about tomorrow's job interview, slip between the sheets.
People who had intercourse at least once over two weeks were better able to manage stressful situations.
That's because endorphins and oxytocin are released during sex, and these feel-good hormones activate pleasure centers in the brain that create feelings of intimacy and relaxation and help stave off anxiety and depression.You don't have to climax to net the effects, but you'll get the biggest surge of soothing hormones if you have an orgasm.
Sex Boosts Immunity:
Good sexual health may mean better physical health. Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which can protect you from getting colds and other infections.
Sex Relieves pain:
If you're using a headache as an excuse to not make love, stop doing that. Have sex instead, because, when you're about to have an orgasm, the level of the hormone oxytocin increases by five times. This endorphin actually reduces aches and pains.
Sexual activity Increases blood circulation:
Because your heart rate increases when you have sex, fresh blood is supplied to your organs and cells. While used blood is removed, the body also expels toxins and other materials that cause you to feel tired.
Sex is Exercise:
Sex is a really great form of exercise. It won't replace the treadmill, but it counts for something.
Sex uses about five calories per minute, four more calories than watching TV.
Sex Improves Cardiovascular Health
Researchers also found that having sex twice or more a week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack by half for the men, compared with those who had sex less than once a month.
Sex Reduces Prostate Cancer Risk
Frequent ejaculations, especially in 20-something men, may reduce the risk of prostate cancer later in life.
You sleep better:
The sleep that you get just after you've made love will be much more relaxed. Getting a good night's sleep will make you feel alert and overall healthy.
While making love is much more than getting a climax, it is one of the most pleasurable moments a man or a woman can feel. However, for many women, climaxing or achieving orgasms isn’t as easy as for men. In fact a significant number of women haven’t been able to achieve orgasm even once due to a variety of factors. Even women who want to orgasm face difficulty in achieving orgasms on a regular basis.
Here are some tips to help if you are one of these women.
- Attentiveness towards one’s own body: Women are often raised to be very conscious about their bodies and sexuality in general. This affects their view of sexuality even when they are in a committed loving relationship. Hence, many women are unable to communicate with their partners openly about their needs. It is important that you indulge in masturbation or some forms of self pleasure to understand what your body responds to and then be able to communicate it to your partner.
- Foreplay is king: This is a major part often missed by the partners of women who are unable to orgasm. Foreplay helps the woman get aroused; longer the foreplay, longer the arousal. A longer arousal will help you in being lubricated better, which will decrease painful sensations and will help achieve orgasms. It is also important that you talk to your partner and ensure that you have enough foreplay.
- Stimulation of the clitoris: While there is debate within the medical circles about the efficacy of various types of orgasms such as vaginal or pelvic orgasms; most women do feel clitoral orgasms as it is one of the most easily stimulated areas with thousands of nerve endings. Thus, you should ask your partner to rub, touch, or lick your clitoral region as this is one area where achieving orgasms would be easier than other parts of the genitals as well as a whole body orgasm.
- Variety is the essence of love making: Women tend to be able to orgasm with a variety of activities rather than one type of sexual act. It is thus, important for you to tell your partner the various things that you may be interested in trying out. If you can try out multiple positions and techniques, it will increase your chances of being able to orgasm.
- Take the help of toys and lube: Lubrication in the form of commercially available lubes as well as sex toys can help you achieve orgasm much quicker and it would be a good idea to include them in while making love. You can also go solo with these sex toys to achieve orgasm during masturbation as this would help in achieving orgasms even during sex with a partner.
Masturbation is a normal part of human sexuality, society frowns on it and young people are often taught to avoid masturbation. Lack of knowledge and opportunities to talk about it have given rise to a number of myths on this subject.
Let's take a look at a few of them:
- Masturbation causes health problems: Pleasuring yourself is the ultimate form of safe sex. There is no way for you to catch an STD, sexually transmitted disease, or for it to cause any sort of mental health problem. The only risks involved are allergic reactions to lubricants or toys and a feeling of guilt or shame due to societal pressure. It lowers the chances of you having an orgasm during sex
- Masturbation is akin to cheating: Single people as well as people in committed relationships masturbate. While it can lead to problems in a relationship depending on your partner's views about it, it does not amount to cheating on him or her.
- Masturbation causes infertility: Pleasuring yourself does not reduce your chances of getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant. However, for men with a low sperm count, restricting ejaculations while trying to get their partner pregnant is a good idea. The only way masturbation can lead to infertility is if partners who share sex toys do not keep them clean and pass on STDs through them.
- It can cause erectile dysfunction: Erectile dysfunction has a number of psychological and biological causes, such as heart disease, stress and obesity but masturbation is not one of them. Eating certain foods can help control the urge to masturbate.
- Masturbation can damage the genitals: Touching your genitals is very unlikely to damage them. The sex organs are designed to withstand friction and hence are very tough organs. The maximum damage that can be caused by masturbation is a little chafing. Using lubricant can prevent this from occurring.