Common Specialities
{{speciality.keyWord}}
Common Issues
{{issue.keyWord}}
Common Treatments
{{treatment.keyWord}}

Marriage Counselling Tips

Marriage - How To Rekindle It?

Dr. Indranil Saha 93% (224 ratings)
MBBS, MD Psychiatry, DPM Psychological Medicine
Psychiatrist, Kolkata
Marriage - How To Rekindle It?

Every marriage requires effort from both the individuals involved, to make it last. Many times, marriages end because the partners start to believe that the spark is no longer there. There are, however, many ways to add the spark, lust and excitement back into your marriage. 

  1. Add a component of surprise - Mystery and surprise imitate the emotional condition of a new romance. But that doesn’t mean surprising your partner with expensive dinners or taking him/her away to the Mediterranean. A small affectionate gesture also goes a long way. For example, you can surprise your partner at work and take her/him away for a lunch or send him/her a love note or a greeting card through e-mail. 
  2. Join in new activities with your partner - Experiment with dissimilar activities that you have never done before. This will help you bring back the excitement in your relationship. For example, you can plan a slow dance with your partner, or hike a mountain, or go deep-sea fishing. 
  3. Do something to kick up your arousal - Do activities that boost your adrenaline. For example, you can include exercises such as hiking on a mountain, a roller coaster ride, watching a horror movie, or even simply a treadmill exercise. 
  4. Listen to your partner - Often couples talk, but not listen. An exchange of attention brings closeness. Ask your partner about their whereabouts or what they have been doing all day long, and do listen and give feedback to their answers. Encourage your partner to talk about his/her hidden feelings and fears. Praise and appreciate the small things your mate does every day, as he/she deserves appreciation. 
  5. Travel and create an adventure in your marriage - Take a small vacation alone with your partner. Get out of the house for a day or two and choose a place that interests both of you. You don’t have to go far away from your home and invest a lot of money. Just travel to a place where you two can spend quality time together. 
  6. Touch your partner more often - Touch generates arousal and a sense of support and comfort, both psychologically and physiologically. Hold your partner's hand during a walk and make sure that you kiss, hug or embrace every single day. This will remind you that you both are bonded together physiologically. 
  7. Play - In the nub of a busy life, couples forget to have fun and enjoy their married life. Every relationship should be about fun. This not only makes you enjoy each other's company, laugh and add fun to your relationship, but also leads you both to sexual arousal.
3481 people found this helpful

Marriage - Issues That Arise In It!

Master In Psychotherapy& counselling, PG Diploma In Counselling & Behaviour Management, Diploma in Marital and Relationship counselling
Psychologist, Kolkata
Marriage - Issues That Arise In It!

The institution of marriage is a herculean task; little does it rest on the sanctified rituals and other vows of commitment. Tying of the knot is perhaps symbolic of the several ups and downs a couple faces together. Marriage is challenging precisely because of the myriad problems it entails. What makes a marriage successful is how two loving individuals face and combat each of these issues.

Let us take a look at the common marital issues:-

  1. Money could grab a place between partners- Monetary problems can come in the way of happy living. Monetary constraints can make partners bicker as they lead to severe tension. If making both ends meet is a constant worry or if one individual earns way less than the other, friction in the marriage is but expected.
  2. Relatives and in-laws could irk your bond- Officious relatives, in-laws and other apparent well-wishers can do loads to spoil your marriage. They tend to create differences between husband and wife. There are times when they convey lies between the couple. Their unnecessary curiosity can also dampen your bond.
  3. Domestic responsibilities could also be the issue- Husbands and wives may have arguments and serious fights over issues related to the household; cleaning, washing, buying grocery can trigger disputes within the family. Housework should, therefore, be shared and done by both the partners.
  4. Decisions with regard to rear up children are often problematic- Married couples can behave in bizarre ways when it comes to making decisions on behalf of their children. A difference in opinion in decision- making can make partners review their choice of one another. They may even doubt their child's secure future in the hands of their partner.
  5. Irregular sex can be a threat to emotional intimacy- Marriage endows a couple with so many duties that they may fail to make love that frequently. Lack of sexual intercourse can create marital problems.
1402 people found this helpful

Marriages - Know Problems In It!

MS Counselling & Psychotherapy, CERTIFICATION IN BACH FLOWER REMEDIES OF ENGLAND
Psychologist, Pune
Marriages - Know Problems In It!

The institution of marriage is a herculean task; little does it rest on the sanctified rituals and other vows of commitment. Tying of the knot is perhaps symbolic of the several ups and downs a couple faces together. Marriage is challenging precisely because of the myriad problems it entails. What makes a marriage successful is how two loving individuals face and combat each of these issues.

Let us take a look at the common marital issues:-

  1. Money could grab a place between partners- Monetary problems can come in the way of happy living. Monetary constraints can make partners bicker as they lead to severe tension. If making both ends meet is a constant worry or if one individual earns way less than the other, friction in the marriage is but expected.
  2. Relatives and in-laws could irk your bond- Officious relatives, in-laws and other apparent well-wishers can do loads to spoil your marriage. They tend to create differences between husband and wife. There are times when they convey lies between the couple. Their unnecessary curiosity can also dampen your bond.
  3. Domestic responsibilities could also be the issue- Husbands and wives may have arguments and serious fights over issues related to the household; cleaning, washing, buying grocery can trigger disputes within the family. Housework should, therefore, be shared and done by both the partners.
  4. Decisions with regard to rear up children are often problematic- Married couples can behave in bizarre ways when it comes to making decisions on behalf of their children. A difference in opinion in decision- making can make partners review their choice of one another. They may even doubt their child's secure future in the hands of their partner.
  5. Irregular sex can be a threat to emotional intimacy- Marriage endows a couple with so many duties that they may fail to make love that frequently. Lack of sexual intercourse can create marital problems.
3062 people found this helpful

Marriage Counselling - Why Is It Required?

Ms. Taral Parekh 90% (14 ratings)
CE in Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Masters of Counselling Psychology, Post Graduate Diploma In Counselling Psychology
Psychologist, Mumbai
Marriage Counselling - Why Is It Required?

Marriage is one of the most important aspects of anyone's life. It is when a person enters a new phase of his/her life and apart from enormous love and affection,(not required) sometimes gets overburdened with responsibilities. These responsibilities could include household works and work/life balance. This burden often leads to some serious problems, which if left unresolved, may even lead to divorce.

• Negative communication

There can be two types of communications - positive or negative. Negative communications include aggressive or passive or both at the same time. In any conversation, if any of the partners is yelling, threatening, intimidating or dominating, it is called aggressive negative communication. While in case a partner is quietly accepting everything the other partner says and has low self-esteem, it is categorised as passive negative communication. These types of negative communications can ruin any marital relationship.

• Extra-marital affairs

An affair can be devastating for both the partners. A marriage counsellor can be monumental in uncovering the complexities within the relationship that has led to the affair. Although an affair is the root cause of the problem, it also may be a symptom of an issue between the couple.

• Loss of intimacy

Both men and women crave love and intimacy in a marriage. However, over time, some couples tend to lose the excitement and romance in the relationship. At such a time, husband and wife may live as roommates, sharing a house. At such a juncture, consulting a marriage counsellor may make all the difference. With the help of therapy, you and your partner may regain the affection and love for each other once again. The therapist will make you focus more on the things you love about each other and help you indulge in the activities you have been fond of doing together. This will help in reigniting the affection you two always shared.

• Considering divorce or separation

If you and your partner have exhausted all other options and are considering filing for a divorce, you should visit a marriage counsellor as a last ditch effort to save the relationship. A good marriage counsellor will use a variety of communicative methods and try their best to help you resolve the problems in the relationship. While you may not feel comfortable seeking external help to save your relationship, remember that marriage counsellors are very discreet and can work wonders in some cases.

2978 people found this helpful

Tips For Strong Relationship!

PG Diploma in Clinical Training, Psychology, MA - Psychology, Cognitive Drill Therapy for OCD & Phobia
Psychologist, Agra
Tips For Strong Relationship!

Tips For Strong Relationship!

Premarital Counselling - How Vital Is It?

Dr. Meghna 88% (19 ratings)
MSC in Psychology (Counselling)
Psychologist, Delhi
Premarital Counselling - How Vital Is It?

We as individuals are unique and blessed with independent thoughts and intellect, which help us in making decisions in life. One of the biggest decisions in life that we have to make is choosing a life partner. We may have to go through several proposals and meet lots of people before we are able to make this crucial choice and select an ideal partner to spend the rest of your life with. Many times, such decisions are made sooner and at sometimes we may have to seek the opinion of our friends, relatives and well-wishers to be able to find the perfect match.

In all cases, what really matters is that the relationship that we have built, has to be strong enough to last a lifetime and that if there is any problem between the couple, they should be able to resolve it amicably, with understanding and maturity. In order to forge relationships that can last, the beginning of the association has to be crucial. There are a number of ways in which you can ensure that the beginning is smooth and that the rest of your lives are also spent in happiness.

The importance of counselling
In the modern times, when couples expect a lot more than couples of the olden times, it becomes extremely important to make sure that the couple visits a marriage counsellor in time and is given an opportunity to get to know each other in a better manner. Here are a few ways in which counselling may be a boon for newly acquainted couples who are to get married.

  1. The counselling may help them realise their similarities and also understand what their strong points as a couple
  2. The session of understanding each other may also aid in knowing what they expect from each other in the long term rather than finding out the difficult way.
  3. It may also help in understanding the importance of amicable family relationships and how close and extended families help in the making of long and strong relationships.
  4. The pre-marriage counselling provided to couples also ensures that they are able to get a healthy and transparent forum to be able to know each other and understand what they can expect from life if they are together.

Getting the right kind of help
Although parents and elders usually advise the couple before they get married, it is important to make sure that formal counselling is also received from an expert in the field of psychology. When you choose to go to a worthy and trusted expert, you are able to ensure that the best methods of opening up to each other are used and that the session remains fruitful for the couple as well as their families in the long term.

1325 people found this helpful

Ways To Encourage And Creat Bond Between New Bride And In-Laws!

Ms. Pallavee Walia 92% (227 ratings)
PGDRP Rehabilitation Psychology , M.A Clinical Psychology, Certificate in Guidance and Counselling (CGC)
Psychologist, Agra
Ways To Encourage And Creat Bond Between New Bride And In-Laws!

Lists some of the more practical ways to encourage and create a loving bond between a new bride and her new family.

#1 pre-marital counseling

Modern couples often visit a counselor suggested by online matrimonial sites, but more often than not they end up being agony aunts. It’s best to consult a professional counselor who can analyse their personalities and suggest specific tips to create a loving bond.

“This would help erase any negativity against the new family that they may have heard or learnt from society.

#2 more maturity on husband’s part

The husband must take the responsibility of not discriminating between his mother and wife. Similarly, the girl must take the responsibility of understanding and adjusting to her new environment without any preconceived notions.

#3 longer adjustment phase

Adequate adjustment is needed by both- the new bride and the in-laws. This phase is not only for the daughter-in-law to learn more about the new family but also for the new family to learn more about their daughter-in-law.

“spending time in letting the daughter-in-law know of certain rules or ways to go about things, is one important way. Give her the time to adjust and not be in a hurry.

#4 greater interaction between families

The best way to generate camaraderie and love between two families or persons is to interact in uncommon scenarios.

“families should go out and try to find out about each other’s likes or dislikes. They should also engage in fun activities together. This will create a loving bond and they will get to know each other better.

#5 express yourself

Develop ways to communicate your feelings, whether it’s with your husband or the mother-in-law.

“if you live in a joint family and want to share something with your husband in private, then plan an outing and talk it out. This will help you vent out your thoughts and also give you an opportunity to understand your partners’ opinion on the matter.

While these are issues that many Indian women may face, let’s not forget that there are many in-laws who still believe that a daughter-in-law is very much like a daughter.

They do not like to discriminate and in fact, generate a bond of love and friendship with their newest family member.

Pre-Marriage Counselling - Know Merits Of It!

Dr. Sheba Singh 85% (10 ratings)
PhD - Psychology, Masters in Psychology, BA - Psychology, Post Graduate Diploma in Rehabilitation Psychology
Psychologist, Mumbai
Pre-Marriage Counselling - Know Merits Of It!

According to a study conducted by “Psychology Today”, it was found that couples who underwent a pre-marriage counselling have had more mutual understanding and lesser divorce rates. Given the staggering rate of divorce these days, it is wise to go through a pre-marriage counselling before tying the knots.

Here are the top 10 benefits of a pre-marriage counselling:

  1. Discuss the hot topics: The biggest benefit of a pre-marriage counselling is the fact that most of the hot topics such as which religion will the children follow, what happens when the in-laws interfere in the relationship, which car to buy etc. reach an easy consent. This step will help to settle down on some of the most important events of life without having to fight, argue or divorce.
  2. Wisdom of the counsellor: The wisdom of a marriage counsellor goes a long way in settling some of the initial apprehensions of marriage. Having gone through the process of marriage and counselling many others, a counsellor knows where the shoe pinches and how to address them maturely.
  3. Set the expectation right: A pre-marriage counsellor helps to set the expectation right for both the bride and the groom. An open discussion helps a couple gauge the kind of adjustments they must do after marriage. This ensures that there are no pretensions with each other.
  4. Communication: Communication is by far the most important aspect of a relationship. A counselling session helps a couple understand the importance of listening to each other, discussing issues without arguing and not taking each other for granted.
  5. Review finance: Finance is a big matter of discussion for any couple. Be it the monthly budget, savings, spending everything is related to finance. Although uncomfortable, both the partners might discuss the financial situation at great length to avoid any unnecessary complications going forward. A pre-marriage counselling helps in doing just that.
  6. Discuss what matters the most: A pre-marriage counselling gives a couple the chance to discuss what matters the most to them. For instance, it can be career, freedom, space or anything. This counselling session will help the partners find out about each other’s passion.
  7. Discover the unknown: This session gives a unique chance to the partners to find out things that never got discussed before. Stuff like past trauma, hidden talent, untold emotions and so on are included here.
  8. Prevent the stumble: It has become fairly common among couples to split within months of marriage because of disagreements. A pre-marriage session can greatly help to avoid such a situation by making perspectives clear to each other.
  9. Lay down the rules: A marriage is the union of two lives. It is, therefore, necessary to understand the do’s and the don’ts. Understanding the liking and the disliking of each other is essential for a marriage to survive.
  10. Discuss the future: Above all, a pre-marriage counsellor helps couples to understand what they want. Since both of them influence each other a great deal, discussing future such as children, time needed for the family, personal goals etc. can be discussed.
     
1200 people found this helpful

Marriage - How To Handle Trouble In It?

Dr. Moazzam Khan 86% (10 ratings)
Post Graduate Degree in Clinical Psychology
Psychologist, Thane
Marriage - How To Handle Trouble In It?

Whether you’ve had a love marriage or an arranged marriage, it is impossible for two people to live together without experiencing a conflict of opinions at some point or the other. After all, each of us has our own unique personalities, habits and idiosyncrasies. Thus the key to a successful marriage is not finding ways to avoid conflicts, but discovering how to deal with them. Here are a few tips that could help you build a stronger relationship with your spouse.

Communicate with Your Partner

Nobody except you can ever know what you’re feeling unless you share it with them. Many conflicts begin when one partner expects the other to be able to read their mind. If something is bothering you, don’t express yourself rudely, but sit the other person down and explain what and how you are feeling. Listening to what your partner has to say is equally important. Keep an open mind and try putting yourself in the other person’s shoes.

1. Be respectful: Feeling hurt is no excuse to start abusing or blaming the other person. Understand that if you begin an argument by shouting at your partner, he or she will turn defensive and not be able to completely understand what you are trying to say. Belittling a person can also shift focus away from the actual problem. Respect your partner and do not start an argument in front of other people or put him or her down in company.

2. Pick the right time: Never start an argument when you or your spouse are stressed or tired. In such a frame of mind, it is easier to get irritated with the other person than understand their views. When you are trying to resolve a conflict, the problem and your spouse should have your complete attention. Hence, don’t try and multitask by cooking or catching up with work while resolving a conflict. This applies even if you are talking to your spouse over the telephone.

3. Take time out: Tempers often flare when talking about a sore point. However, be aware that getting angry or agitated will not solve anything. The moment you find yourself or your partner feeling too upset or negative, take a time out from the situation. Tell your partner that you need some time and walk away quietly. You can resume your conversation when you are both feeling calmer. However, do not use this time out as an excuse to avoid resolving the issue

1038 people found this helpful

Communication Tips To Enhance Your Relationship!

Ms. Chaitra Mahesh 92% (16 ratings)
M.Sc Psychological Counselling, B.A. Psychology, Journalism, Literature, Diploma in Counselling Skills
Psychologist, Bangalore
Communication Tips To Enhance Your Relationship!

Marriage or any healthy relationship is a bonding, and not binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on HOW you cultivate a relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticize and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn’t! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don’t happen your way but have you tried to ‘express’ your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships result in frustrations, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in a nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the ‘progress’ in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not “up to it”. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A ‘No’ from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don’t want to do that right now! –feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of the argument:

  1. Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
  2. Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example - I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you’re taking the onus on you.
  3. Attack the issue; not each other!
  4. Refrain from the 4 C’s: Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
  5. Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead, express yourself verbally.
  6. Using “I feel” statements are better over “You are…” ones. When you say I feel, you’re taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
  7. Have an open mind. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
  8. Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that…) & ‘Gunnysacking’ (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
  9. No engaging in ‘Summarizing self-syndrome’ where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to others and without understanding other’s perspective, feeling frustrated.
  10. Cut back on ‘Catastrophizing’ i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
  11. Do not send ‘double messages’- statements that have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.

A mind is like a parachute, it doesn’t work unless it’s open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner’s perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to wellbeing as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

2187 people found this helpful
Icon

Book appointment with top doctors for Marriage Counselling treatment

View fees, clinic timings and reviews